


Cross Game

by junakabisque, vampirekiki



Category: Alice Nine, Jrock, Kalafina, Nega (Band), Versailles (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:39:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 67
Words: 158,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2128797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junakabisque/pseuds/junakabisque, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirekiki/pseuds/vampirekiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just looked at what had happened to him the last time he let his guard down when Tora was around, was enough a lesson to teach him the otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cut the crap!" Tora seemed to be the first one to recover from the shock, and he did not hesitate as he fought back. "I have nothing to do—"  
> "With Saga pregnant with your child, you damn well have everything to do with what we're about to discuss next!"

** Prologue **

 

During a late afternoon in midsummer, Saga felt like fainting when he was on his way back home. The hot weather that had lasted for the last few weeks was climbing up to a new peak; the steamy wave of heat, which seemed as though it was radiating from the sun-bathed ground, was making the blond young man sick. Much to his misfortune, he still had about a block to walk before he could reach his destination.

Wiping off a bead of tiny sweat from his forehead, Saga's thoughts turned to the one place he was heading back to, a place he had called his own 'home' for many years, a place where, much to his fear, might soon not be welcoming him any longer.

'Home' to him was the house of his uncle and aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Amano, whom had been his guardians and had raised him as if he were their own child for the past ten years. The Amano couple took Saga into their care soon after his own parents passed away in a car accident, despite the fact that they already had two children of their own to rise. His uncle and aunt had done anything parents would for him and provided him somewhere he could call 'home'. In return, Saga had treated them with gratefulness and respect, swearing to himself that he should never displease his beloved guardians. 

A dull pain began to swell inside of his heart once the blond thought of the Amano couple. If they actually found out about the situation he had stupidly landed himself in, if they found out what had happened between him anda certain someone, his guardians would surely be astonished!

And they would be so very disappointed with him.

Then the sound of cicadas from above the treetops suddenly grew from the previously faint buzzing into a dizzying noise, a countless number of cicadas' singing seemed to echo within Saga's skull at maximum volume.

The noise in his head was so bad that Saga had to slow down despite the consuming heat, his hands reached up to press against the sides of his head as he tried to force himself not to think of the Amano's, not for the time being anyway, he could not handle those thoughts when he sensed the pressure beneath his skull increasing, the sign of a new jolt of headaches.

He kept himself carefully under the shade of the trees alongside the sidewalk to avoid further direct exposure to the afternoon sunlight. And once the blond caught sight of the white features of his guardians' household from a distance, he forced himself to gather up his strength to speed up a little, hoping to go back to the indoor environment as soon as he could

_No_...Saga thought to himself, his uncle and aunt _did not_ have to know. He was still clinging to the hope of solving everything before anyone else found out about his......condition. No matter how impossible it might seem for a youngling like him, who was still a few months away from high school graduation, he was trying to handle something as serious as _this_ without informing his guardians or any other adults, keeping such a huge secret from the peering eyes of people. Saga knew well that it wasn't likely for him to make it on his own, so now his only hope laid upon one person, the only one he thought would give him help when he needed it the most, the only one he could trust to tell his big secret.

And that person had listened to him with understanding and patience that touched Saga like nothing else, then this person had thought deep and long after hearing his pleas, and eventually promised to help him, in the limited ways he could.

If only Nao would keep his promise...

Still deep in thoughts, Saga hardly realized he was by now in front of the gate to the Amano's household; he unlocked the gate before making his way toward the spacey, simply-designed but gorgeous building he had lived in for years. 

Out of habit, he slipped through the front door as quietly as he could, much to his relief he saw no one when he went across the short corridor until he reached the bottom of the stairs, then he began to make his way to the second floor. Quickly he reached to his own bedroom and slipped into it before locking the door behind himself. He sighed in relief, though it felt strange to find his sanctuary only within this bedroom, while he constantly felt uncomfortable and disturbed whenever he was in another part of the household. 

First Saga put down his bag from his shoulder, then he removed the tie and the soaked shirt of his school uniform, throwing them to the floor while picking up a towel nearby and started wiping the cooling sweat away with it. He was about to put on a clean t-shirt when someone from outside the room tried to turn the handle before knocking, catching his attention.

"Who's it? I'm changing!" he called out while putting the t shirt all the way down, hoping his answer might be enough to hold back whoever that was knocking on the door. Saga did not meant to be anti-social but right now after a tiring day in school and with his strength weakened due to the summer heat, he didn't think he was fit to be anyone's company.

"Saga, it's me."

The voice from behind the door was by no means unfamiliar, it was Nao, the older son of the Amano couple, Saga's own cousin, though he really did not expect to find someone else in the house at that hour, maybe one of the cleaning-maids, but not a family member.

 

The blond haired youth relaxed a little when he knew it was Nao. He opened the door at once, thinking Nao was there for a private talk between them.

But instead of stepping in like Saga had expected, Nao stood still in front of the door, with clearly no intention to walk in.

"We need you downstairs." The brunette told the younger one as simply and gently as he could; he did not want to scare his cousin or alarm him. 

By now, Saga started to realize his mistake. Not only Nao was home, which was unexpected enough; but in fact there were more persons in the household, and somehow he was now summoned to join them.

Saga tried to read Nao's face, he saw only the brotherly warmth and concern in the brunette's eyes which he was familiar with. Still, beside these the latter's neutral expression told him nothing, having no other choice the younger one gave his cousin a worried look before obediently following Nao's lead, walking to the stairs. He was not happy about it, at the back of his mind Saga probably knew something was coming up, but he tried his best to ignore the veiled bad feeling.

Nao led him all the way to the dining room downstairs. Once entering Saga was shocked to see the rest of the Amano family sitting there around the long wooden dining table. The first ones he saw were his uncle and aunt, who were sitting upright next to one another at the end of the table, their faces unexpectedly serious. Sitting slightly away from them was their younger son, Tora.

The raven-haired youth's presence in here was even more of a shock due to the fact that nowadays his second cousin wasn't known to come home at such an 'early' hour.

Tora raised an eyebrow and glanced at him with veiled annoyance once he realized Saga's eyes were on him. Eventually the blond had to look away, unable to handle such a gaze from the older one after what the latter had put him through.

He could not decide whether to find a seat or to remain standing, either of them felt rather unfitting at the moment, with heavy silence hovering above them, no one was talking and the atmosphere was so tensed that you might slit the still air in the room open with a knife like cutting through a piece of butter.

When Saga was still struggling with himself to figure out what to do next, he heard the sound of the doors closing from behind. Disturbed, he turned back only to see Nao shutting the double doors that led to the hallway outside, isolating them from the rest of the household. 

Saga was still trying to convince himself that everything was going to be okay, had to be; even though he just could not shake off the impression of being trapped here.

"Saga," Mr. Amano broke the suppressive silence by uttering his beloved nephew's name, his calm voice not matching the turbulence of emotions he had been feeling inside. "Please sit down." 

Saga did as he was told. If possible, he was getting even more nervous; his uncle had not used that kind of formality with him for a long time.

With the corner of his eyes, he saw Nao taking a seat next to him as if for moral support. And Saga felt he was going to need any single bit of support to survive whatever would come.

A long pause with no one speaking first and Tora was looking increasingly impatient, seeming that like Saga himself, the raven-haired had no clear idea what the meeting was for.

"Saga dear," This time it was his aunt who addressed him first, the middle age lady spoke with her eyes fixed upon her nephew, her expression somewhere between doubt and sadness. "Do you have something to tell us?"

To Saga, it was when realization hit him with its full force. He looked up to the Amano couple and their grave expression only confirmed what he had just realized. Theythey had already known!

And there was only _one_ possible way for them to find out so soon; Nao must have told them!

The youth looked back helplessly at his older cousin, whose only reply was a pleading look upon his face, saying nothing. Saga's jaw tightened once he thought even Nao would not stand up for him, and he had to face the circumstance of his foolishness, right now.

But Nao had promised that he would help him through this, he had promised...so why would he do this to him?

".....No." Desperately, Saga answered with the first thought in his chaotic mind: denial. His head bent low, not able to meet either of his guardians' gazes. He had no time to overcome the shock, he didn't even have time to blame Nao of breaking his promise, right now, he could only hopefully steel himself up as best he could to face whatever blow was to come.

"Really?" Mr. Amano raised an eyebrow, in a manner that was so similar to that which his second son had just done previously. His question was uttered with a tone laced heavily with disappointment that pained Saga more than anything else did. He knew his uncle distaste liars and now unluckily, he had already become one.

The head of the Amano's family was about to say something more when he was interrupted much to everyone else's surprise.

"Just wait a second, Father!" It was Tora who straightened himself from his seat, speaking ahead of Mr. Amano, cutting the older man off with little politeness. "If you and Mother want to talk to Saga, there's none of my business. I'm out of here."

Mr. Amano stared at his own son with displease and anger written clearly across his feature, within the next second the rage seemed to be radiating rapidly from his lean body. Then before Tora could turn away and leave, the older man burst out.

"None of your business, you said? _How. Dare. You!?_ " Mr. Amano snapped between his clenching teeth. With both his palms banging loudly against the wooden table, he stood up and roared at his son, pointing at him with an accusing finger as he continued. "You, I think you also have a little tale or two to tell to us! All your mischief, all the sneaking behind our backs! Don't you dare be thinking we aren't aware of---"

The rest who presented in the room stared at Mr. Amano in astonishment as he roared on, never before did they ever see the man unleashing such wrath toward his own children.

"Cut the crap!" Tora seemed to be the first one to recover from the shock, and he did not hesitate as he fought back. "I have nothing to do---"

"With Saga pregnant with _your_ child, you damn well have everything to do with what we're about to discuss next!"

The effect of Mr. Amano's words was like dropping down a bomb, everyone in the roomincluding Tora, went absolutely silent and still after that. At that fatal moment, Saga felt another wave of nausea blooming from the bottom of his empty stomach; he pressed a palm against his mouth in order to suppress the urge. At that very moment, he wanted to faint and to be oblivious, but he had no such luck. Instead, he was very aware of the awkward silence in the room, and everyone's eyes fixing upon him, above all he felt Tora's eyes burning into him.

After a long moment, Saga did look up to meet the other man's gaze. His second cousin's face was a display of astonishment, disbelief and veiled ragenothing that the younger blond hadn't already guessed. But what he really didn't foresee was what Tora was going to say.

The raven head took a careful step toward where Saga and his brother were sitting, his body visibly tensed. His eyes held Saga's as he struggled to find words after the great shock of his Father's revelation.

"S-So that's true?" Ignoring the rest of his family, Tora spoke directly and singularly to his younger cousin, though his voice was far from steady. "That you're...you are---"

_He could not even bring himself to say it!_ Saga thought bitterly as he bit his lower lips due to great nervousness. Vaguely he felt Nao placing a hand upon his shoulder, stroking him in what he attempted to be a comforting manner, but it did little to help Saga strengthening himself as he faced the most difficult moment of his life.

He knew there was no escaping it, the answer that everyone was waiting for. So he nodded. 

Tora gasped in response, and then he turned away from Saga to argue with his own father. Saga could hardly make out the exchange of words between father and son since his mind was in utter chaos. But in the haze of his consciousness, Tora's sharp voice still managed to cut right into his mind cruelly.

**"How can I be sure it's _mine_? He might well be sleeping around with---"**

Before he knew what himself was doing, before anyone could stop him, Saga sprang into action.

Tora's unfinished accusation was cut off by the loud sound of a hard slap across the face, delivered by an enraged Saga. And Tora's handsome face was turned to the side due to the force. 

With the burning red mark at the side of his face clear for everyone to see, Tora slowly turned his head back to face his younger cousin, who was still trembling with wrath, never before Saga had proved himself to be capable of such violent act, even the blond was for a moment at a loss for words.

Still he met the cold dark pools of blackness that were his cousin's eyes bravely, not willing to be defended by that one person who had already fooled, manipulated him in the past and now humiliated him beyond his imagination.  

**"It's yours."** Saga hissed under his breath, his gaze stabbing daggers toward the other man. "Don't you dare insult me again, I'm done with being a fool already!"

With that he turned away, throwing open the doors and broke into a run.

To be continued.

Comments are love, mind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find this story also [on deviantART](http://vampirekiki.deviantart.com/art/alice-nine-fanfic-Cross-Game-170892231).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the Amano couple, his guardians were to disown him, he would be by himself alone, really alone for the first time ever since his parents' passed away. After that he would no longer have anything left he could call a family, aside from his baby.

** Chapter 01 **

" _Oh, god._ " Shou murmured in disbelief, staring at his friend in pure shock and bewilderment.

His friend Saga, a blond boy of his own age, sat very still and tensed on the carpeted floor of Shou's own bedroom, looking up to his startled best friend with a mixture of emotions: worry, expectation and pleading was written on his face.

Feeling his knees going weak due to the shock, Shou shifted his body uncomfortably where he stood for a moment, before finally deciding to sit himself back on a nearby chair.

Taking a deep breath, Shou forced himself to stay calm; only when he could trust his own voice did he bend his upper body forward onto his elbows, looking deep into Saga's eyes and asked, "Are you sure about it, Saga? I-I mean, 100% sure?"

Saga held his light-brown haired friend eyes for a long moment, only nodding unhappily in response.

So it was true, Shou thought to himself dimly. Saga, his best friend for years, had just confessed that he was _pregnant_ , and the father of the baby he was carrying was no other than his jerk of a cousin.

Shou never really liked the said cousin Tora much and was never close to him despite the fact that he, Saga and Tora were all attending the same school and hanging out with more or less the same group of friends. He and Saga had been best friends for years; on the other hand, Tora made it hardly any secret that he distaste associating with his orphaned cousin. Holy crap, the jerk barely ever _acknowledged_ his relation as a kin with Saga in public.

This fact alone sent Shou wondering how and when had Tora managed to mess up with Saga like this, and no one, including himself had noticed anything until it was too late.

Maybe it was not correct to say Shou had been entirely in the dark like everyone else. As of recent times, Shou did notice that something between Saga and his mean-spirited cousin had changed but back then he failed to put his finger on it. For a while his suspicion over the nature of Saga's relationship with Tora did surface briefly to his consciousness, but regretfully he never put his half-formed suspicion forward, giving it little more thought than before.

Shou's hands balled into fists as he mentally slapped himself for not doing anything sooner. If only he had acted upon his suspicion and did something -confronting Saga perhaps; and talk some sense into him; then Saga might be saved from the difficult situation he was facing now.

Male-pregnancy by natural means was _rare_ even though it wasn't something entirely unheard of. Nowadays, most of the gay or lesbian couples managed to get pregnant with their partners' baby through use of fertility drugs and medical aid from skilled doctors. Still, some of the men , a few handful of them among the population, were known to be able to get pregnant though intercourse with their male partners. People had long accepted the phenomenon and basically there were no social barriers or laws to forbid men to give birth to and raise their own children after same-sex marriage and parenting was legalized some decades ago.

"So what do you going to do, Saga? Other than staying here?" Shou asked, but in the next second he caught himself, and hurriedly added on. "But of course you know you can stay here as long as you like..."

Luckily Shou's parents had been away for a little vacation, so it was still safe to let Saga stay for a while without being disturbed.

Saga's arrival in front of his doorstep at dusk had been a surprise to Shou, the blond haired youth had asked for permission to stay overnight due to 'trouble at home', which Shou could very much sympathize with. However, Shou did find his best friend uncharacteristically dejected, and given the fact that Saga had ran to him for help -nearly in tears and bringing no belongings of his own, hinting at the troubles that the blond had. Then for hours to come that night the brown-haired one tried his best to encourage his friend to open up and talk about what exactly was troubling him.

Eventually Saga gave in, and told him everything; it was when Shou realized just how grave and complicated Saga's situation actually was. It was tough enough to endure an accidental teenage pregnancy, but it would make things even more difficult when the father of the unborn child had refused to take responsibility, not being even cooperative to try and help out.  

"Thank so much, Shou-kun." The blond youth finally spoke, giving his friend a little smile. For a long moment afterward Saga bent his head down a little, eyes following his own fingers as they drew circles across the carpet. Shou did not have the heart to pressure him to talk again.

"Look...everything's been so messed up. It's difficult to decide what to do next." Saga murmured with a barely audible, small voice as if he was talking to himself rather than speaking to Shou. "But I think it'd be reasonable to prepare for the worst."  

Shou's breath caught in his throat. "Do you mean you think your uncle and aunt are going to...kick you out?"

He had seen the Amano couple various times in the past and he had the impression that the Amano's adored Saga and treated him equally like people treated their own children. But would that accidental pregnancy shock change their attitude toward their nephew? Shou hoped it would not, but it was difficult to say since the Amanos cared very much about their good reputation as a respectful family. So it would be unwise to think the couple would just sit back and do nothing while there was a possible threat of public scandal nurturing under their noses.

Saga sharply looked up at his friend with a startled expression, like Shou had just voiced his greatest worry, which he did not even dare to acknowledge and utter aloud. The sadness that displayed upon Saga's pale face pained Shou, he quickly left his chair, closing the short distance between him and Saga. Sitting down beside the lithe form of his friend on the floor, Shou could feel Saga's shoulders trembling slightly when he wrapped and protective arm around the latter. In response, Saga leaned his head on Shou's shoulder slightly as he struggled to continue.

"It isn't something so surprising if they really did that." Saga spoke as steadily as he could manage without looking at his friend. "...Shou you have to understand, I've failed them---"

Shou turned around to stare at the blond-haired boy in shock. "Nonsense! It's not like their son is blameless! They at least should--"

Saga just shook his head, his expression almost helpless. "It's useless to debate what my uncle and aunt should or shouldn't do, right? Their decision is well beyond our control now."

He had been carrying the fear and doubt with him for too long a time ever since he learned that he was pregnant. So unlike Shou, Saga had worked through the state of shock, anger and disbelief, as a result. Before today he had thought that Nao would help him, but now it seemed even Nao wouldn't, or couldn't give him help, then by now it had become clear that it was very much up to him alone to decide what to do and to figure out what was the best for him and the baby.

After the dreadful discovery, Saga had thought about having an abortion, many times.

Back then it seemed to be the easiest way out, as long as he could afford the cost then he could leave his problem behind quite quickly, and by aborting the infant his own life as it currently was would be less likely to be affected.

The thought had not left him entirely during the stressful month that followed after he became aware of his own pregnancy. Part of him agreed that it would be an effective way to get rid of his trouble, but the other part of him was whispering at the back of his head, arguing that he _didn't_ want an abortion.

As time passed, Saga still found himself caught between these contradicting thoughts, unable to decide. Until now.

If the Amano couple, his guardians were to disown him, he would be by himself alone, _really_ alone for the first time ever since his parents' passed away. After that he would no longer have anything left he could call a family, aside from his baby.

The baby he was now carrying would be the only family he would be left with in the near future.

By now he knew he was going to keep the baby despite he was aware of the hardship and responsibility that parenthood entailed. After the loss of his own parents, Saga wasn't going to give up the only family member he'd ever have, the only one who was related to him by blood; not by any means. Tora be damned.

The thought of his dark haired second cousin sent a jolt of immediate pain through his chest. Tora's attitude toward him and what he had said previously wounded him deeply, deeper than Saga would like to admit even to himself or anyone else. Maybe he should have been angrier with Tora but for some very strange reason right now, he could not find enough amount of fiery anger within himself. The slap was an act that came out of impulse and the result of Tora's insult; still just as the rage had ignited hotly for a moment, it died down just as quickly. Tora's accusation was hurtful enough; still Saga knew slapping the raven-haired boy another thousand times more would do him no good; perhaps it would be best to hold himself off, pretending Tora was nothing more than someone whom he was unfortunately forced to share part of his life with, who had no impact, emotionally or else on his life. That would be for the best for Saga could not see it wise for himself to be affected by his cousin again.

Just look at what had happened to him the last time he let his guard down when Tora was around. That was enough of a lesson to teach him the otherwise.

***  

The conversation between Shou and Saga had gone on for a short while afterward, until at the end neither of them had no more to say. By then night had already dragged in and Shou offered to let Saga sleep on his own bed in order for the him to get comfortable.

Soon Saga was fast asleep due to the pressure that had worn him down. Originally Shou should switch off the light and went to the guest bedroom for his own rest but the light brown haired youth found himself standing a few feet before the bed where Saga had been sleeping soundly; deep in his own thoughts.

It had been a long time since the last time Shou saw his friend asleep like this. And he was fascinated to find Saga looking so peaceful and...angelic when sleeping. Shou glanced at the thin form lying on his bed, covered by the thin summer blanket. Saga looked utterly fragile and unprotected like this in his sleep. For a moment Shou held his breath.

For a brief second, perhaps a heartbeat of time, Shou almost gave in to the urge to kiss the sleeping beauty before him, lovingly but passionately, to make his own feelings known to Saga eventually. But by some miracle or a strong grip of self-control he didn't know he had, Shou suppressed the urge and merely bent down to pat Saga gently, his hand lingering on the top of his head, before switching off the light and leaving the room.

Saga did not know anything, nor did he show any interest in him as more than a friend. But now he knew that Saga wanted to keep the baby. Shou also knew that if he were ever given the chance to express his own feelings, if he were to be allowed, he would willingly bare the responsibility of taking care of both Saga and the baby, regardless of who the baby's father was.

To be continued.  
Shou! I was in tear already! You're such a good man!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He blamed Saga for the painfully awkward position he now found himself in. If nothing had come out from that night at the birthday party, Tora could still shut his eyes tight and pretend nothing had ever happened; nor would he be plagued by the thoughts about Saga and the lingering presence of his image in his mind.

** Chapter 02 **

Tora slammed the door shut forcefully before he moved in and threw himself to his bed with a groan. His mood was far from calm and cheerful after he managed to untangle himself from an all-out clash with his parents and retreated to the safety of his room. The raven head wasn't foolish enough to believe he would be safe hiding in here for too long.

Sprawling across the untidy bed, Tora fished out his iPhone and turned it on, putting his earphones on, and turned the volume up until the rock music drowned out every sound from the outside world. He was almost certain that sooner or later his brother or worse, his own parents, would come up and try to talk to him. He had no desire to have any further conversation with any of them.

_Great. Everything is just so damn great._ Tora thought to himself bitterly when today's events played out in his mind once more. Even though he was used to taking all the blame whenever shit hit the fan, but never before did he met his parentsespecially his father's fury- to this extent, all because of Saga.

But what did he expect anyway? Saga had always been his parents' darling and he could do no wrong in their eyes. When they needed someone to take up the villain's role, Tora, the black sheep in the family, fitted into the role.

_Screw it!_ Tora spat inwardly. Screw his parents' opinion. After all was said and done, his parents were still the last people on earth to understand him and what had been going on in his life; or so Tora believed.

It was almost laughable how they had accused him of what had happened to Saga. During their crossfire, his father made it sound almost like he had _raped_ Saga. May God be his witness! Nothing would be further from the truth than this. It was insulting for them to think, even for just a brief second, that he would actually force himself on someone like Saga. The boring-typical-model-student-Saga had the sex appeal of a blackboard. That was another point that showed his parents really knew nothing about him, knew nothing of what was going on between him and Saga.

But...exactly what was there between him and Saga, anyway? Every time Tora tried to analyze the mess that was the relationship between them, his head would just start aching.

The main problem was, there _shouldn't_ be anything with 'Tora and Saga' entailed at the first place. In his rational mind, Tora simply deed such a thought and/or concept as impossible, nonexistence. 

Another major problem, Tora hadn't always been in his right mind. Sometime he let other things distracted him or he let impulse get the better of him. 

Especially when he was under the influence of alcohol, impulse and alcohol, a heavy amount of alcohol had a lot to be blamed for his downfall. Otherwise, there could be no way to explain why he would ever think kissing a blushing-nervous-looking dumbfounded Saga in front of everyone was not a bad idea _that night_.At least he had proofed to everyone whom believed he would back off that he _could_ actually do it without chickening out.

Drunkenness was his only excuse for losing grip at that fatal moment, why he would later find himself pinning his blonde haired younger cousin down in a locked room within Miyavi's spacey apartment. Limbs entangling, kissing the daylight out of each other with equal force and he actually took pleasure in making the younger man panting and writhing beneath him.

God, he had done much more than enough to horrify himself once he sobered up. That really was something to be horrified with, the closeness and intimacy he had allowed himself to share with Saga, and the searing, shamefully passionate memory the night with the blonde youth had brought back whenever Tora laid eyes upon him afterward......

All was the result of being under the influence of alcohol. And it was a lesson in underage drinking that had already caused Tora quite dearly.

For better or worse, the raven head always believed the urge that drove him to always accept challenges, to take risk and seek for excitement, was part of his nature. The result of being born to parents who always tried hard to keep their children in line and demanded them to act according to the rules. 

There was the main reason why he had accepted the stupid Truth and Dare challenge in Miyavi's crazy, out of control mess of a birthday party, that godforsaken Truth and Dare that set off a series of chains effect.

And the youth took pride from rebelling against those rules, from his independence and boldness to break the rules that were set up to, as Tora would put it, cage him.

Though Tora also must admit that the adventurous side of his personality had gotten him into troubles from time to time; and it seemed that this time, things eventually got out of hand. For the first time ever, Tora realized that he could not find a way out of the bad situation.

He blamed Saga for the painfully awkward position he now found himself in. If nothing had come out from that night at the birthday party, Tora could still shut his eyes tight and pretend nothing had ever happened; nor would he be plagued by the thoughts about Saga and the lingering presence of his image in his mind.

The raven head did not want to acknowledge that this time he really had no one else to blame but himself. On a rational perspective, he was as much at fault as Saga for the consequence they had both been trapped into, for being so careless when it came to sex and intimacy.

Although Tora at least could admit to himself that he had screwed up. Sleeping with his own cousin who lived under the same roof with him was a _huge_ mistake, if the pregnancy mess never happened, it would have been a mistake which he _could have_ afforded. Surely seeing his cousin on a daily basis would still be awfully awkward after they slept together due to drunkenness and ill-judgment. However, the lasting effect of such an one-night-stand would not be so damaging. After all, originally in less than a few years time, sooner or latter both he and Saga would be moving out of the Amano's household and it would put an end of them seeing each other, allowing them both to breathe a little easier with the absence of one another. 

Yes, that was what Tora had actually felt when it came to Saga as of later. When he was in his right mind, Tora thought he and Saga would be better off not seeing one another. More importantly, the raven head always felt oddly _affected_ by his younger cousin's mere presence. He disliked Saga, that much he was certain of, but on the other hand he often could not get the blond one out of his mind.

......As much as he hated to admit it, Saga had always managed to affect him, his thoughts and his actions in the strangest, most unlikely ways possible. Regardless of how hard Tora tried to fight it by ignoring and cold shouldering the blond haired youth, Saga himself seemed to be totally oblivious of his persuade toward his estranged second cousin.

Though he did vaguely remember a time when things were different with him and Saga, when they were no more than mere children; when Saga first came under his parents' wings. But their friendship shattered when time past and Tora slowly began to realize where his parents' favor laid not upon him but on his orphaned cousin.

It hurt when you realized you were drifting apart from your loved ones...your parents nonetheless, and they just replaced you with some other child who easily lived up to their expectation, dividing all the attention they should have bestowed upon you into that other child. Or so Tora thought his parents had been doing through out the years; this kind of emotional abandonment cut deep into the youth's heart, though he was too prideful to admit the hurt.

His phone rang all of a sudden, snapping Tora out of his gloomy train of thoughts. He picked up his iPhone and recognized the name of the caller right away, it was Hiroto, one of the few close friends of his.

"Hey." He answered the call with a dry, flat voice.

"Hi Tora!! " Hiroto's cheerful voice reached his ears. "We have a party over here! Want to join in?"  
"Huh...maybe." Tora answered without much optimism. "Where are you anyway?"  
Hiroto mentioned a location and the name of a schoolmate, which Tora was also familiar with. And then the younger man asked back. "Are you coming? The Tora I knew isn't the type to turn invitation to party down!"

"......;" It might not be such a good timing for him to go partying, but... _screw it_. Tora needed some sort of relaxation, something, _anything_ ; to put his mind off the troubles right now. "Just count me in, I'm going."

"Yeah! See you later, Tiger!"

With that Hiroto hanged up. What was left for Tora to do was to sneak out of the house without attracting attention, something he had done with practice.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nao could not say he was surprised to hear his mother's request; but all he could do was to shrug, for her question was the same one that he had been asking himself repeatedly without coming up with a satisfying answer, ever since he heard the news from Saga's lips.

** Chapter 03 **

Nao went upstairs to Tora's room, deciding he needed to talk a few things over with his stubborn younger brother. Nao knocked on his brother's door, but was given no answer. He waited, and then knocked again even louder, his effort met with no response. Nothing could be heard from beyond the locked door. He could not imagine what Tora might be doing brooding in his room for hours after the chaos that was their family's meeting, not even showing up for dinner; nor did the younger one answer the door when a maid went up for him.  
Brushing locks of highlighted golden braids away from his eyes, Nao could only hope that his brother hadn't done something stupid to himself when no one was there to stop him.  
    
To be honest, Nao did not want to judge his brother too harshly. He understood that Tora was in great shock, and he was too young to deal with such serious, life-changing circumstances; still Nao had to admit he, like their parents, was disappointed by Tora's way of handling the unpleasant situation. Even though Nao must admit that if he were in Tora's position, if he were to hear his girlfriend confessing that she was pregnant all of a sudden, perhaps he wouldn't have handled the news all that much better than Tora had.

However, his pity toward the raven-haired faded a little once his thoughts shifted to Saga. The slim blond youth really did not deserve to receive such treatment under his brother's hand, and Nao could understand and sympathized with Saga's anger, to be indirectly labeled as a slut was utterly unfair to the blond. Still in his need of finding excuse for himself, Tora had chose the worst possible way to try shoving the responsibility elsewhere. And he was too dumb and insensitive to see that Saga would be wounded by his outrageous denial.

Thrusting his hands back to his pockets, Nao turned away with a sigh; slowly he started to walk along the corridor, heading toward the staircase. His thoughts lingered back to his missing cousin as he walked; Saga hadn't yet returned after his outburst, nor had he phoned them to inform of his where about. Although Nao had a vague idea where the blond one was, he kept the idea to himself, thinking Saga might need some space to think things over. Dragging him home wouldn't do them any good.

Still, he would make sure that a phone call was made to Saga's certain friend later on, just to make sure his blond cousin was safe and sound. 

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Nao was about to go straight to the living room if he wasn't called back by his mother's voice.

"Nao, dear boy." The older woman's voice came from somewhere behind him. 

The brunet paused and looked back in the direction where the voice had came from, only to see his mother standing next to a door which he knew lead to her drawing room. 

He was about to ask what she had in mind when Mrs. Amano spoke again. "Come here for a moment, we have something to talk about."

With that she opened the door next to her, giving her older son a signal to follow her. Obeying, Nao followed his mother to the room, wondering what she wanted to talk about with him at such an hour, suspicion seeped slowly into him as he recognized the...mischievous look hidden in her eyes, her expression was one with something to tell, some pleasant secret to unveil. That was strange, to think that both of his parents had just had a rather upsetting quarrel with Tora previously...

His mother-dear must have something up her sleeve, Nao was almost certain, he just didn't know yet what her evil scheme might be, but he had a feeling that he would find out soon.

Once inside the drawing room, Nao pushed the door shut without having to be told. When he turned back toward his mother, she had already sat herself nicely in one of the comfortable armchairs, staring at him with a troubled expressionbut also the tiny hint of a smile at the corner of her lips.

The brunet didn't sit down; he chose to lean on the bookshelf near him in a rather relaxed pose, right across from where his mother sat, waiting for her next move.

"What's it, Mother?"

Mrs. Amano coughed, cleaning her throat before speaking. "I want to talk to you about Saga, my son. I know you care about him and he is like a younger brother to you. And what you did for him proof that you have his best interest in mind."

Nao nodded in agreement. He wasn't surprised by his mother's speech at all. He was grateful that his mother understood the reason that he had informed his own parents of Saga's pregnancy merely out of concern; he wanted his parents to step in before Saga made a wrong decision on his own, out of fear and confusion instead of rationality. He never wanted to hurt Saga but he knew the latter wasn't likely to understand his effort anytime soon.

"I want to hear your opinion of how to solve the problem with Saga and Tora then..."

Nao could not say he was surprised to hear his mother's request; but all he could do was to shrug, for her question was the same one that he had been asking himself repeatedly without coming up with a satisfying answer, ever since he heard the news from Saga's lips.

With her eyes still carefully fixed on her older son's features, Mrs. Amano shifted a little at her seat, hands absent-mindedly playing with the fabric of her own skirt; she took a breath before speaking again.

"Do you think we can make somearrangement so Saga can settle down with his own child as soon as possible?"

The frown between Nao's eyebrows deepened in bewilderment, he still couldn't get what his mother was talking about.  
"What do you mean by 'settle down', Mother?"

Next, the older woman's reply came out in a rush, as if she needed to hurry bringing what was in her mind out in the open at once. "I meant...I have an idea that we can help both Saga and Tora to come up with some sort... _agreement_ , which might help all of us out of this mess."

Struggling to catch up with his mother's ambiguous words, Nao had to stare at her face hard, hoping to pick up some hint. Her mention of Tora kind of surprised him though; for most of his previous thoughts on how to help Saga focused mostly on what he and his parents might do in order to help the youth out of his misery; he hardly gave much thought about Tora on the matter before...

But right now his mother's vague suggestion had put Nao into thinking exactly how _Tora_ should be taking responsibility for the mess he had taken part creating.

Deep in thought, his gaze began to wander across the surroundings, as if it could help him eventually pick up some clearer idea. His eyes scanned across photo frames lined atop a drawer near were his mother sat, displaying a few family photos taken in different times: a picnic when the children in the household were much younger, a photo of his parents on their wedding day, a family gathering during winter---  

An idea kicked right in then, causing Nao to gasp loudly out of the blue. Still, she couldn't have just been hinting at _that_ direction, right? To think of all the troubles they would definitely go through if they were to work things out in that direction!

Meanwhile, Mrs. Amano watched him without a word, still studying his expression closely. A smile slowly spread across her lips as she sensed that Nao was about to touch upon revelation.  

Her elder son actually needed to take a few deep breaths, while trying to gather his own thoughts before he finally managed to speak.

Raising an eyebrow, Nao crossed his arms in front of his chest, his upper body bent forward to look at his mother's face seriously. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking now, dear Mother?"

In response the lady of the house nodded calmly, almost _readily_. She knew her older son could pick up the hint quickly because unlike either of the other two little boys she had raised, _Nao_ was the smart one.

Nao continued to eye his mother with increasing amusement, as if seeing her with different light for the first time. Eventually, he slipped down on the couch across where his mother sat, then mother and son started engaging themselves with a long, thoughtful conversation, a conversation that they both knew would change everything, especially to the two persons whom were close to their hearts.

***

An hour, or perhaps an hour and a half, two hours later, Nao had already had most of the discussion with his mother. There had been arguments, various suggestions and guesses but they ended up reaching a conclusion in the end. Mrs. Amano was the one to do most of the suggesting and scheming while Nao brought up his doubts about his mother's plan. Still, eventually Nao had kind of being convinced that there seemed to be no better way to solve the problem at hand. His mother's plan sounded almost like a perfect solution; however, on the other hand it sounded a bit too good to actually be able to work out. Especially as the persons at the center of their scheme were no other than Saga and Tora; making the outcome quite unpredictable. Talking about stubbornness, as much as Nao cared about Saga and his brother and wanted nothing less than the best for them both, he still knew that Saga could be as stubborn as Tora was. Those two could both be trouble for the people around them at times. 

"...Mother...do you honestly think it will work?"

Upon hearing her son's question, Mrs. Amano's face stiffened for a moment, eyes darkened with an expression to show her son that the wheels in her head were turning in great speed. He waited until his mother finished weighting different possibilities in her mind and spoke. "It might seem to be an unlikely solution for the dilemma we are now facing, but I am confident that in the end things will work out for them both, Nao darling."

"Well then," Nao replied almost playfully, a small smile spreading across his lips as he put on his thin jacket and gripped his car keys, readying himself to go out. "I'd better pick up our run-away tomorrow"

Mrs. Amano gave her son an encouraging grin then, and Nao grinned back, in a way that was not unlike his mother's.

to be continued.

Comments are love and you know it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a moment Tora was deep in thought, then he answered, with hesitation lacing his voice. "H—she isn't really a…girlfriend."

** Chapter 04 **

With two glasses of drink in hands, Tora moved across the crowded hall in Ruki's parents household, making his way back to a sofa at the corner, where Hiroto sat waiting. When he returned his friend gave him a big smile while reaching up to accept the drink. Tora had just arrived for about half and hour, fortunately the party atmosphere hovered in the air had already helped him to cool down quite a bit. Ruki's _'Let's Have Fun When the Parents Are Out!'_ ...sort of summer night party was a causal one, with good food, good drink, laughter, silly jokes, a lot of girls, dancing people, loud up-beat music...even thought it was nothing as brilliant or crazy like those parties that Miyavi used to throw but this party was nice and carefree enough to lighten Tora's mood.

As the night drew in, many of the party goers had also gone to the open space near the swimming pool outside of the house; and someone also brought their hand-carried hi-fi and started playing music outdoor, Tora and his friend then decided to move themselves to a conch in the garden, watching the people around them enjoying themselves.   

Tora sipped another mouthful of cold drink without actually tasting it, he eyed the people playing among the garden, dancing, jumping or simply being pushed into the swimming pool by their friends, doing other silly things to make a fool out of themselves, laughing loudly. The usual-Tora would have already joined in and had fun, but tonight despite his slightly improved mood, the raven head still wasn't energized enough to take part. As a result he just sat back and brooded at the corner, feeling surprisingly like a joyless old man.

As time passed, Hiroto seemed to notice it as well; eventually he brought up the subject after finishing his drink.

"Pal, I cannot help noticing that you're so quiet for tonight, and you haven't even gone out to dance for once. So I'm wondering......" The shorter man began, with a hint of concern in his voice. "What's bothering you this time, Tiger?"

"Nothing." Tora denied without a thought, without looking at his friend; right now the last thing he need was to have Hiroto asking questions, even though he knew that the latter was doing it only out of concern.

"You're not a good lair and you know it, right?" Hiroto sighed exaggeratedly.

"Shut up." Tora replied, even though his reply was meant to be a joke, but his voice was flat and the humor was barely there.

"Look at you, all wired up for my innocent questions." Hiroto wasn't giving up. " What's the matter, really?"

Tora didn't reply, instead he closed his eyes and downed the rest of his drink. Knowing that he could not get Hiroto off his back so easily, he decided to work around the subject and play it safely.

"Actually it wasn't my problem, but I have a friend who recently got himself into trouble..." Putting down the empty glass, Tora began to tell his tale, somehow he felt safer to talk about the problem he was facing by talking about it on a third-person tone.

_Oosp, it sounds like those 'I have a friend who is really me' stories! You're not fooling me this time, Tiger!_

Hiroto raised an eyebrow, surpassing a laugh and kept his expression neutral, he had to retreat himself from challenging Tora's claim, knowing otherwise he wouldn't hear the rest of the story. 

"Do I know this friend?"

"I guess not." Tora shook his head immediately.

"And you are not supposed to mention who he is, right?" Hiroto asked in a knowing tone.

"Yeah..."

Hiroto didn't really expect the raven head to expose the identity of that 'friend', he decided to play along. "So, what sort of problem that friend of yours is in?"

"I have no idea what kind of advice to give, so I guess it'll be nice to hear more advice from others... Anyway the subject being, my friend told me that......he kind of knocked up a girl." Tora replied as evenly as he could, though his throat felt dry and sandy when he mouthed the words; although the reference of Saga as a chick was kind of laughable to begin with.

Immediately Hiroto's eyes widened with surprise, he gasped rather loudly. "Oh dear. Your friend had screwed up big time!"

"Keep your voice down, stupid!" Tora frowned uneasily when the people near them turned their heads back and looked on curiously.

The shorter boy sank back to his own seat and eyed his friend, dumbfounded; when he spoke again his voice was low. "Then wh-what is he going to do with it?"

Tora threw his hands up in abandonment. " HeI don't think he knows what he' s going to do with it neither."

Hiroto sighed again, taking time to work himself out of the shock. Meanwhile the curious crowd near them was losing interest, going back to mind their own business.

If the 'friend' in Tora's story is actually himself, then Tora was indeed in big trouble, still he also knew that the prideful raven head was not going to admit anything if he pressed the matter further. So he decided to keep up the pretending, trying to come up with some usual suggestion like a good friend should.

"If you asked me for my opinion, I would say his reaction should more or less depend on his relationship with that girl. Is she his girlfriend or something?"

For a moment Tora was deep in thought, then he answered, with hesitation lacing his voice. "H... **she** isn't really a...girlfriend."

"And what does that girl wants him to do? In such situation women usually ask two things out of the men: money or responsibility." _Or both._ Hiroto added in his mind, but didn't have the heart to slip the idea pass his lips. 

"...The girl wasn't really talking with the guy right this moment." It was Tora's limp answer.

"So she's mad at him, which isn't so much of a surprise." 

"I guess so." Tora replied absent-mindedly. Before that moment, the thought about what Saga was thinking about the situation didn't even cross his mind. But at least from Saga's previous reaction, he understood the blond one was obviously mad at him.

"And how could your friend so sure that the baby she has now is his, maybe she has other boyfriend you know?" Hiroto threw yet another question, after a pause he added on in a more humorous voice. "Perhaps your friend should start watching out for an angry boyfriend seeking his blood!"

Tora shrugged off the shorter one's last comment, but he actually had to moisten his lips before he answered the previous question. "Mmmp...She insisted that it's his."

It wasn't possible for him to know for sure that the child _really_ was his, but Saga had admitted as much in front of everyone, and the other thing Tora could not deny was that he knew all too well Saga wasn't...experienced before their encounter.

"I guess there's no way to be absolutely sure until we run a DNA test or a blood test after the baby is born." The shorter one paused for a brief moment, before he spoke again with a thoughtful tone. But in the next second he made a face as though he distaste what he had just said. "But to think about it, asking the girl to bring the baby to go through a DNA test sounds pretty bastard-ish, isn't it? It makes the guy look bad, because it makes it 100% clear that the guy doesn't trust her. Things might turn ugly for them!"

Tora thought about what his friend had just said, before replying. "Those tests can wait. Before we get into this, there's still chance that the baby won't be born." 

As bastard-ish as Hiroto would put it, Tora could not help hoping that somehow Saga would agree to have an abortion. The blond one didn't mention anything about whether he wished to keep the baby or not; so Tora figured that the chance might be still there.

"Maybe...but the girl has yet to decide what to do right?" Hiroto commented as if echoing Tora's thoughts. Then he dished out the most thoughtful suggestion he could think of. "Why not tell your friend he needs to talk with that girl as peacefully as they can, talk to her, ask her what she wants to do about it, in turn he can also tell her what he's willing to do, anyway they need to solve things out together, he also should talk with her family when need to. That's all I could figure."

Talking with Saga, speaking about the matter with his own family wasn't what Tora wanted to hear, but given the circumstances, it was fair to say Hiroto had given reasonable advice.

"Thank for the advice, pal." Tora lowered his eyes and said unhappily. "I will talk to my friend when I see him around."

To be continued.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Tora could even finish, Shou was already right in front of him and punched him right in his face, hard. The impact was so great that the ravenhead fell head first to the ground.

** Chapter 05 **

 

Ruki's party came to the end barely pass midnight, which was a bit of a shame, but due to the fact that tomorrow they still had school to attempt there wasn't much choice left for the teenagers.

Understandably, Tora had spent a night in Hiroto's home, both of them planned to get back to school directly from Hiroto's household. Tora even had the insight to bring his school uniform along to the party in case of emergency. 

They got on the bus, managed to find themselves a seat and settling down, almost immediately Tora leaned his head against the backrest and fell once again into the Slumberland, obviously still exhausted from last night party.

Hiroto would have followed his friend's example, catching more sleep before they had to get down and go back to school, but a memory flashed through his mind out of the blue and the next thing he knew he was fishing out his own cell phone and clicked on to the photo selection, after skipping through some randomly took photos, he found what he was looking for.

It was the photos he had saved in his cell phone, first there came a photo with him together with a blue haired, round-eyed teenager, both smiling up for the camera, a fond memory he shared with his friend San. Then Hiroto was looking upon another photo, this time still with his friend San in it, and also with San's fiancée Ray, a guy who was eight years San's senior who…shockingly enough, used to be San's high school teacher.

Up to this day still nobody knew exactly when and how two persons who were so different in age, lifestyle, and hobbies as Ray and San even managed to hook up. Supposedly it happened shortly after San's graduation, the two of them managed to keep their affair a secret, Hiroto believed it was an arrangement to protect Ray's reputation, since the issue of teacher-dating-his-freshly-out-of-school-former-student was still quite tricky and edgy. They dated for a whole year in secret until San found himself pregnant.

All hell broken loose when both San's and Ray's families heard the shocking news. San's parents were so angry that their son got himself untimely pregnant, even before he finished college. According to what Hiroto had heard, thing was even worse in Ray's family, they forbad the man from seeing San and even tried to pressure Ray to break up with San. The older man's family believed Ray should choose a more 'suitable' girl closer to his own age with a nice family background and settle down with her, instead of sealing his future with a half-grown teenager and an unborn infant.

With his parents still angry with him and Ray's family pressuring the pair to break up, San could only find comfort and support with his friends. Hiroto was there when San cried and cried, haunted by his fear of his and his baby's uncertain future, his fear of Ray giving in under the stress and left him facing the hardship of parenting alone.

That was the reason why Hiroto was able to dish some useful advices when Tora mentioning _his friend_ 's bad situation with that mysterious girl. For San's sake, he really did look up on information about teenager pregnancy and how other people had coped with it in mature, reasonable ways.

Luckily for San, his boyfriend eventually withstood all the pressure and talked the parents from both sides to accept their plan of marriage. Hiroto knew the process of convincing was difficult and sometime torturous, so he was glad for his friend that the blue haired was going to marry his loved one soon. Even though San's family was still trying hard to hide the embarrassing fact of their son's pregnancy out of wedlock, so the couple had to keep their wedding ceremony low profile. 

The memory about San's romance with his older boyfriend itched something from the back of his mind. Hiroto put down his cell, his sight fell back to the sleeping figure next to him, and for the first time, a flash of wonder sparkling through his mind.

If the problem that supposedly befell Tora's _friend_ was actually his own trouble, then who might the girl whom supposedly involved with all these?

Logically speaking, it takes two to tango. Hiroto knew another party must be involved when pregnancy issues was involved, but who was that girl? Hiroto suddenly realized, he had no idea.

When girls and Tora were concerned, there had always been a lot of flirting and sometime, fooling around between them. But if Hiroto did know the raven head as much as he thought he knew, then Tora actually hadn't been seriously involved with any girls for a very long time.

So, did he over look something? Or had Tora honestly been mentioning about someone else's problem the whole time like he had claimed? 

Hiroto rubbed his eyes to shake off the headache which was forming within his skull, his brain not yet ready to do all the work of analyzing that early in the morning. As far as the boy would concern, morning really wasn't the best time for thinking.

***

In the next day morning Saga went back to school, like Shou had insisted him to. It was a bit awkward for Saga to have to borrow Shou's textbooks and extra school uniform. Truth be told, Saga was in no mood to go back, if it was possible he would just…hide in some place where no one could bother him. But Shou, being the good friend that he was, managed to convince him that education was still important to an underage youngster and missing a school day wasn't such a wise move.

Still everything had its drawback, as a result of his courageous decision; Saga suffered the dread brought by the possibility of seeing Tora in school for a whole day. Much to his relief and suspicion, Tora was nowhere in sight. Shou had kept himself close to him for most of the time, offering his help whenever Saga showed sign of tiredness or discomfort. But even Shou's support could not make him shrug off the nervousness and uncertainty entirely.

The blond boy hanged out with his classmates during breaks and lunch time as usual, momentarily, it felt almost like nothing had changed. It almost felt like he was just another ordinary teenager among his peers, carefree and cheerful, with nothing more serious than schoolwork or the next exam to worry about.

Sighing softly to himself, Saga shrugged the thought away, for he knew his carefree days were numbered. If the state of his pregnancy started showing, it would be impossible for him to continue going to school, and his education would be at stake. So far, he still hadn't figured out a way to deal with it……furthermore, what could he do after high school, if he ever managed to finish it after giving birth to his baby? Was there any chance he could go to collage, when given his inconvenient circumstance? He knew that the Amanos had set up a fund for his further education, part of it came from his late parents' insurance; but he most likely would not be allowed to use the money freely before he came of age. Even if he were to be permitted to use it, most of the money would have to be spent on child-caring, the only chance he could think of now was applying for a scholarship, which is easier said than done. 

Clenching his hands into fists, Saga could feel his palms soaked with sweat, in order to think for his future, he desperately needed a carefully thought out plan, which unfortunately, he still hadn't came up with just yet.

At lunch break, Shou excused himself rather suddenly right after bringing both of them lunch and ran off to somewhere urgently before murmuring a blurry 'I'll be back soon' to Saga. The blond one was dumbfounded but could not figure out anything that might target Shou to run off out of the blue. Having no other choice, he could only sat at the corner of the canteen and waited for his friend to return, maybe he would get an explanation later. 

***

The school day went on uneventfully as usual, but something was itching inside Tora, bothering him. What Hiroto had said last night was still lingering in his mind, making him wonder whether he really should go to find Saga and talk with him before the circumstances turned even worse. Despite the uncomforting slight hangover from last night, Tora still had to agree there was sense in Hiroto's words and it would be the best if he acted quickly, trying to fix things instead of just brooding around and let the situation turned even worse than it had already been.

The main problem being, the raven head didn't know how he should seek out his younger cousin and actually _began_ talking with him in any normal manner. It seemed like he had long lost the ability to talk with Saga normally with nice, friendly words passed between them instead of one-word remark and answer or worse, mere silence. For hell's sake, it was something he hadn't done for years. Now all he could do is nothing but to _try_.

For circumstances, that he did not know whether to be relief or nervous of, for half of the day Tora did not even catch sight Saga at all. Due to the fact that the two of them were in two different classes and none of their today's classes managed to intertwine, Tora figured he would better bet his luck during lunch time.

Lunch break arrived in the middle of the day, most students rushed down to the canteen, joining their friends for lunch. Tora left his classroom and went straight to where Saga's classroom was, only to see the blond youth walking away to the staircase, and quickly disappeared among the crowd. He frowned; cursing his bad luck under his breath, and did his best to follow.

He shouldered pass the people blocking his path, making his way to the ground floor. As bad luck would go, he managed to lose sight of Saga for a moment, Tora walked quickly toward the entrance of the canteen, scanning the surrounding area impatiently, looking for the blond haired one among the crowd.

Before that day, Tora never noticed how spacey and crowded a place their school canteen was, the raven head was about to move into the canteen when he suddenly caught sight of a familiar figure storming toward him with a piercing, angry hiss.

"Amano!"

Tora stopped at his path automatically, his movement froze; he was taken aback by surprise when he recognized the person.

It was Shou and the other teenager was speeding toward him, showing no sign of stopping.

Tora took a step back, trying to move out of Shou's path. "Hey! What are yo--"

Before Tora could even finish, Shou was already right in front of him and punched him right in his face, hard. The impact was so great that the ravenhead fell head first to the ground.

The other students around them stopped and stared with open shock, it wasn't common to see fellow students started a fight like this in public.

A burning pain spread through Tora's face, plus the impact of the fall was still leaving him breathless and hopelessly confused. As he lay on the floor like an idiot, struggled to get his baring, Tora noticed Shou's tensed, fiery face still lingered at the haze of his version. Why would Shou punch him all of a sudden? Why was the guy so angry with him? The feeble thought flashed in his mind for a second before an urgent voice thundered around him.

"What the hell!?"

Immediately Tora knew it was Hiroto, the next thing he knew he was being pulled up to a sitting position, his enraged little friend Hiroto kneeling beside him for his protection.

Taking a second to check Tora was still in one piece—with injures not serious than a black eye and wounded pride; Hiroto looked up to the taller man before them in anger and pointed a finger at him in accusation. "Why did you do this, you jerk?!"

" _Ask him_!" Shou spat, his eyes throwing draggers at Tora when he answered Hiroto. "Ask him why I did it! He knows why I had to punch him and he damn well deserves it!"

With that Shou pushed past the onlookers around them, righteous anger still radiating from all around him as he left his foe behind in the dust.

"Do you know what he was talking about?" Helping Tora back to his feet, Hiroto asked as if it was an afterthought.

Tora didn't bother to response, he just shook his head. Deep down he knew why this was happening to him, for he finally remembered the fact about Shou being Saga's best friend.

_Was he really just a friend?_ Tora wondered as his lips curled upward in dark amusement. Judging from Shou's previous action, was the other guy merely a protective best friend, or might there be more……?

_"Your friend should start watching out for an angry boyfriend seeking his blood!"_

Perhaps there was some truth in Hiroto's lame comment. 

Tbc.  
I managed to bring Nega's members into the story! And RayxSan is just so damn cute! What do you think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without a thought Saga reached a hand and placed it upon the sleeping man's forehead, the fiery heat that spread across his palm at once only confirmed what Saga had already known by now: his second cousin was running a high fever.

** Interlude I **

 

++ _flashback_ ++

_It was the last few days of the New Year holiday; the Amanos had decided to spend the remaining holiday visiting some nice countryside villa. Nao had some other plan of his own so he wasn't going to go with them, and when Mrs. Amano asked her younger son Tora, all she got in response was an absent-minded shrug and an ambiguous "huh-huh" so she figured the dark haired youth wasn't going with them neither. The couple had also invited their nephew Saga to go with them, but the latter declined, thinking his uncle and aunt needed a well-deserved break from their work and parental duty and should go into the trip together like a couple, rather than adding him as a third-wheel in the company._

_After seeing his guardians off by the front gate of the house in the morning, Saga had spent most of the day hanging out with Shou, playing some new video games for hours before going out to town wandering around the like of CD stores and electronic products shops, checking the latest fashion out. The boys spent the day in a carefree style, by the time they called it a day, it was already well past eight at night._

_Since uncle and aunt were still away enjoying their vacation, Nao had already mentioned that he would not return anytime soon, and all of the servants had also taken their breaks during holiday. Therefore after Shou drove him home and the two said farewell, Saga expected he would spend the night on his own; but Saga wasn't bothered by it, he could take care of himself and the thought of some alone-time for himself once in a while, with him being the only one in the household seemed kind of relaxing to him._

_There was an after-thought about Tora, whose whereabouts he had no clue of; but Saga was not really worry about it. For most of the time when his parents weren't around, the chance of Tora being in the household went thin, there was fat chance that the older boy would not return till the next morning; plus even if he did show up, he would just perform his usual route of ignoring Saga altogether. Therefore, the blond head quickly brushed the thought of his cousin aside, and entered the house._

_Soon afterward Saga had gone through his quick-fix of meal and went upstairs, but when he was only half way to his own room, he stopped in the middle of the hallway. Nervously the blond youth started to scan around from one side to another, suddenly caught by the suspicion that something was wrong and he wasn't as alone in the house as he once thought. All he could tell was that something wasn't quite right. Eventually he turned, walking a few steps back, in hope to find out what exactly was bothering him. When he went pass the bedroom door two rooms away from his own—Tora's own bedroom, Saga noticed something he hadn't noticed before: the door to Tora's room was ajar, instead of being locked as usual._

_While he was still hesitatingly staring at the half-opened door, Saga's ears caught the tiniest sounds of movement from the room beyond the said door. Slowly he inched toward the door, then with a careful hand he pushed the door wider open, and peered into it, still hoping he had heard thing wrong this time._

_The room was dark, with only the faint light from the hallway illuminating it a bit; still Saga didn't fail to catch sight of a figure curling up on the bed, half covering by a wrinkled blanket. For a moment Saga did not know what to think, he could only make out the short dark hair spreading across the pillow, which assured him that the sleeping person was no other than his second cousin._

_Just when the thought took shape, the figure on the bed began to turn as if sensing Saga's presence, or more particularly he was trying with difficulty to turn to the other side, while soft moan of discomfort reached Saga's ears._

_The blond youth frowned, it became obvious to him that Tora wasn't asleep like he had previously guessed; instead the other one was twisting around slightly, his breath came out heavy and shallow, gasps were audible, disturbing the silence around them. It looked to him that Tora's condition wasn't quite okay._

_Half out of worry and half out of urge to check if Tora was not in immediate danger, Saga walked further into the darken room until he stood next to Tora's spacey bed. Kneeling down next to the bed Saga found a small lamp on the nightstand and he switched it on, then with the help of the fade yellow light proved by the lamp he scanned the older one's face. He found the other boy's eyes were indeed closed; still he wore a troubled, almost pained expression on his face in his sleep, his skin unusually pale as sweat seeping down his forehead, when Saga took a closer look he also noticed Tora's entire body seemed to be shivering uncontrollably._

_Without a thought Saga reached a hand and placed it upon the sleeping man's forehead, the fiery heat that spread across his palm at once only confirmed what Saga had already known by now: his second cousin was running a high fever._

_As though sensing the touch from another person near him, Tora groaned, his head turning instructively toward where Saga was. Startled, the blond pulled his hand away quickly, causing the unconscious one to moan softly as if in protest, his body inching closer to the edge of the bed as if searching for the warm and touch that had just left him._

_Sitting back to his heels, Saga struggled to think of the reason why Tora was sick all of a sudden. Soon enough he remembered something: Tora had returned home from his soccer practice, Saga recalled the older boy was soaked from head to toes when he walked through the door, the result of him walking through a downpour on his way home. His mother had been worried than when she saw her son, she even followed him upstairs to remind Tora to get changed as soon as he could in order to avoid catching a cold. Later that night when Tora showed up for dinner, he looked refreshed, showing no sign of illness, so the incident was more or less forgotten. But now it seemed they had all overlooked Tora's state of well-being._

_Guilt rushed in as he looked down at the unconscious form before him, right before this moment he did not pay Tora no heed and did not suspect for a second that something might be wrong with his cousin. But it wasn't entirely his fault wasn't it? The blond tried to argue, Tora had always been stubborn to a point that his pride always got in the way whenever he was in need of help. And looked like this time it was no different._

_Shrugging the guilty feeling off, Saga bit his lip as he tried to figure out what to do next._

_Within the next second, the thought of leaving Tora then and there flashed through his mind. For an instant the thought to turn around and left actually felt kind of righteous due to the fact that they did not get along well and Tora had always seized every chance he got to bully him verbally in more ways than Saga could recall. So why offer his help to someone whom hadn't been kind to him in the first place?_

_The blond youth's train of thought as another troubled groan tossed through Tora's dry throat, the boy curled to his side in a rather pitiful manner as he tried to suppress the violate tremble which was shocking through his body but failing. With his eyes shut tightly, the raven head struggled to claw at the blanket with his weakened fingers and tried his best to wrap it around his shivering form even more tightly, as if trying to shelter himself from invisible frost._

_Sympathy sprung now from Saga's heart much more easily when seeing Tora's utterly pitiful state. It was more than obvious that Tora needed help and for a moment Saga let himself forget all the unkind things that his older cousin had ever said to him, and the countless times he ignored him. His gentle nature could not allow him to sit back and watch other people suffered without doing something to help lessening their pain._

_First he stood up and arranged the fallen blanket properly to cover the raven head's body, in hope that it might help the other one to sleep a bit better. Then he hurried out of the bedroom and went downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of warm water. On his way back to Tora's room, he paused to go to the bathroom for a wet towel, then checked the cabinet for medicine. Once he was back in Tora's, he put the glass and the towel on top of the nightstand before he managed to put Tora into a half-sitting position, pressed the medicine into his mouth before putting the glass of water near his lips and seeped it down the older boy's dry throat. Little by little the raven head managed to swallow an entire glass of water, and almost instantly his condition seemed to be improving slightly; making Saga wondered for exactly how long his older cousin had been lying there alone to suffer with the fever, hour after hour without aid from anyone?  
The answer was kind of plain to him for he recalled spending an whole day without seeing Tora, with no one else mentioning about him, which meant the raven haired youth might well be sick for a whole day without arousing concern. _

_Saga knew his uncle and aunt had nearly given up the attempt to keep their younger son under command nowadays. Many of Tora's behaviors had displeased both his parents in the past, but back then Saga failed to notice the bond between parents and son was so worn out to the point that the Amano couple had been paying less and less attention to their son. With Nao's absence things only seemed to get worse. And only now did Saga realized what kind of negative effect had sprung front out of the estrangement_

_Sighing, the blond youth helped his cousin to lay back down to the bed for resting; then he used the wet towel to wipe his face clean. During the process Tora stiffed under his touch and struggled to open his eyes, for a moment those eyes opened slightly but it was impossible for Saga to know whether the older one realized what was going on; for those eyes showed no sign of recognition when their unfocused gaze fell upon him. It would be safe to guess that the raven head was too consumed by the fever to tell what was going on at all. Drawing back after he finished wiping Tora's heated skin with the towel, Saga stood up, knowing he would have to bring a bowl of fresh water in for latter use. But right now he also had other things in mind._

_He slipped out of the room and went to a nearby bathroom, soaked the used towel into a bowl of water before returning, drying the towel before folding it then placed it softly upon Tora's forehead in order to cool his fever down a little. After the task was done, he bent down to watch Tora, noting that the latter seemed to be a lot more at ease than before. Surely that the raven head still trembled from time and again but it was, thankfully less frequent than before; and he seemed to be sleeping a little more comfortably now._

_Taking a breath of relief, Saga sat down on a chair nearby, resting for a moment. The experience somehow brought back childhood memory to him, a blurry flash of memory of how his own mother taking care of him when he was sick, he was but a small child back then. The distant memory of his late parents no longer left him crying and hurt like it always used do when he was younger. Now the memory gave him a warm, bittersweet feeling; a reminder for him to always treat the people around him well when they did have time to be close to one another; for no one really knew how much time you and your loved ones could spend together, looking after each other before either of you had to depart._

_At that moment a thought surfaced from his mind, reminding him that beside the medicine, Tora would also need some nutrients in order to recover. The older boy must have already spent most of the day being too sick to ever leave the room and eat. It would be cruel to leave him with an empty stomach for the rest of the night._

_***_

_Fifteen minutes later, Saga returned to Tora's room carrying a bowl of newly heated soup—he figured that his cousin was far too weak to handle much of swallowing and chewing. When he returned, Tora was still asleep like before. Once again the younger boy sat down beside his cousin, did his best to help the latter sat up, then began feeding the soup to the half conscious patient rather clumsily. It took him quite a long time and a lot of effort before he managed to help Tora to finish half a bowl. Then sensing that Tora didn't seem to want more of the warm soup, Saga put the bowl away._

_Once Tora was guided to lie back down among the mattress, it became easier for Saga to study his expression so he might learn of the raven head's condition; once again he pressed his palm against the older one's forehead. Much to his relief, Tora seemed to improve quite a bit, the fever seemed to be subsided a little, and for once Tora's expression actually seemed calm, without any hint of pain._

_Almost unconsciously, the blond youth's fingers danced across his older cousin's dark locks of hair, playing with it. He never expected it but the sensation of hair slipping through the tips of his fingers actually felt good; though it was strange too, to be so relaxed and causal around Tora. Somehow the current situation he had found himself in gave him a soothing feeling, bringing a sense of closeness between him and the sleeping dark haired boy._

_Through the passing of years his relationship with his second cousin had been at stake, for reason that Saga could not understand. At the very beginning Tora was friendly to him, almost like a brother, but somehow things changed between them and nowadays there was hardly a kind word passed between them. He didn't like it, the tension and discomfort and silence that stretched between them for so long, but Saga had no idea how he could fix things with his cousin(he didn't even know what had gone wrong in the first place), plus Tora did not show any hint that he actually **want** things to be fixed._

_The blond was so lost in his train of thought that he failed to realize Tora had sneaked closer to him in his sleep, leaning into his touch unconsciously, almost like a stray kitten. Saga was started when a pair of arms snaked closer and wrapped themselves around his waist, only then he was jolted back into reality. Dumbfounded, he stared down to find Tora curled himself around him as much he could during his slumber. Instantly Saga wanted to try pushing away from him, but the sleeping Tora's reaction was to cling to him even more stubbornly._

_"Don't go…"_

_The whisper from the raven head was blurry, barely audible, but it rang in Saga's ears like thunder. He had never heard Tora speaking with such voice, voice that was helpless, lost and so unlike the usual cocky Tora. His heart leaped almost painfully within his ribcage for a second. Startled, Saga had to hold his breath, all of his movement halted saved for one hand reaching instinctively to his chest in hope to calming the racing heartbeat._

_It took the blond a moment longer for him to calm himself enough to gazed down again, by now Tora's movement had stopped entirely, his body relaxed next to Saga, his hold around the blond youth's slim waist easing up just a little, but not enough for the younger boy to break free easily._

_If the blond youth could be honest, entirely honest to himself at that moment, he would have admitted that after hearing Tora called out to him with his frail soft whisper, he did not have the heart to just leave him there._

_Seeing there was no way to free himself without waking the raven head, Saga stopped his attempt to slip from Tora's hold, the situation at hand was awkward enough without the older one waking up to realize exactly what he was doing, and whom he was clinging to; therefore the blond youth thought it would be wiser to wait till the patient was fully asleep before he could peel himself off._

_**Tora doesn't know it's me.** _

_That was the only thing Saga could think of, and it looked to him the only reasonable explanation for Tora's sudden demand of care and affection. For a moment, it almost felt like the raven head was desperately in need of **his** care and affection._

_But the rational side of him quickly reminded Saga that he was foolish to think of his cousin in that way._

_**Don't be silly, Saga. He just doesn't know it's me. Or else he must have mistaken me with somebody else……** _

_He tried to cheer himself up with the thoughts, with what his rationale had reminded him with. So it was no big deal. Tora was hardly conscious at that moment, Tora did not know better. It was just a one-time thing, and something like this, this closeness and quiet harmony that formed between them for such a brief moment would simply fade away once his cousin came back to his sense._

_However, much to his irritation, as he sat there in the dim room, in his cousin's bed with the said cousin's head basically rested on his lap; Saga found the thoughts strangely upsetting, even more so than he thought it would be for reason he could not name…… ___

__

__Tbc…  
What do you think? I did want to put this part as chapter 6 but it doesn't look fit, so it became a interlude instead._ _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sucking a breath in, Saga lowered his speed, but deep down he knew there was no walking away from Nao without the older man noticing him. Just as the thought took shape in his head, Nao looked up and his eyes soon fell upon him as if sensing his thought.

** Chapter 06 **

 

Sipping another mouthful of fruit juice, Saga eyed his brown haired companion who sat across the table; the latter was still in the process of finishing his own meal, oblivious of the glances sent his way. Saga would like to ask what had actually happened earlier in the canteen that resulted in Shou dragging him out of there, but the tensed, brooding aura now surrounded his friend made the words die in his throat.

After his brief absence, Shou had returned to their table only to ask Saga to leave the canteen and go outside with him. Confused, yet still thinking the brown headed must have a good reason for such strange request, the blond youth agreed and picked up his tray, together with Shou they moved their location for lunch into the yard not far from the canteen. After that nothing seemed to be out of place, still Shou never mentioned why he would suddenly find their school canteen not an appreciating spot for eating after his return.

The rest of the lunch break went on uneventfully, the two of them sat by a wooden table in the school yard as though they were having some kind of picnic in the outdoor. No need to mention Saga was still puzzled by Shou's absurd request and his sudden change of mood. However, he knew his best friend well enough to know better than to press the brown haired one for the matter.

Saga frowned as he recalled shortly after Shou had left, he heard noises of unrest and excitement spreading from the front of the canteen area, but he was still too far away to hear exactly what was going on, and when Shou rushed right back to their table at the far corner of the canteen, Saga could not help but noticing a few students pointing their fingers at Shou's direction, but before Saga could figure out what was that all about, he was already out of the canteen, urging on by a clearly upset Shou.

Eventually, Shou was done, putting down his fork and looked up, meeting Saga's questioning gaze, but the latter only shrugged in response.

Saga sighed inwardly, he knew he would have to let this pass for now, but he decided he would find a way to break Shou's silence later.

*** 

School came to an end at the later afternoon hour; slowly students were steaming out of their classrooms again, making their way to the schoolyard, walking out of the front gate in groups, other students staying behind to prepare for their after-school activities, group-meetings or sport teams' training. Shou and Saga were among the crowd making their way out of school in this afternoon. Shou had already offered to take Saga in for another night, but the blond youth hesitated, not sure whether he should contact the Amano household first so his guardians would not worry about him so much; even though he really, really didn't look forward talking with neither his uncle nor aunt anytime soon.

He also wondered if he should just gave in and go home, enduring his guardians' scold and anger if he must in order to keep himself from upsetting the Amanos further. Despite the sinking feeling he had down the pit of his stomach whenever he thought of returning, still running off and hiding from his troubles just wasn't his way of problem-solving. He would rather stand up and face the circumstances.

However, Saga's dilemma was solved unexpectedly once he went near the front gate, he caught sight of a familiar vehicle parking just opposite of the entrance of their school. There also was a man leaning against the car, leisurely watching the students walking by, as if he was waiting for someone. It didn't take Saga longer than a second to recognize the familiar figure; it was his older cousin Nao.

Sucking a breath in, Saga lowered his speed, but deep down he knew there was no walking away from Nao without the older man noticing him. Just as the thought took shape in his head, Nao looked up and his eyes soon fell upon him as if sensing his thought. 

 

Smiling narrowly, Nao straightened himself and walked toward the two students. Both of them stopped at their spots, Shou nervously exchanged a gaze with his best friend, but the latter only shook his head. 

"It's okay. I'll talk to him first." Saga whispered under his breath before he started walking toward his older cousin, leaving Shou behind, the latter stood still, waiting anxious, preparing to step in once things became unpleasant.

"Nao," Without greeting, Saga said quietly. "What do you want?"

He did not want to sound angry when talking to the older man, but his voice came out flat and distant.

"For goodness' sake, relax." Nao tried to lighten the atmosphere, placing a hand on his younger cousin's shoulder but the latter shivered and shifted himself away from the touch.

With his eyes fixed upon Nao firmly, Saga asked again. "I said, what do you want?"

"I just want to take you home."

A rush of emotions flushed through Saga's heart once Nao's words left his lips; tear threatened to escape from his suddenly sore eye sockets and he had to force them back. 'Home', the place he had returned to for the last ten years, a place he feared that he had already lost.

"Tell me, Nao. Do I still have a home now?" He asked with a trembling voice, then after a short while of silence, Saga added as though it was an after thought. "You broke your promise, you know."

A pained expression flashed through the older man's face for an instant, but when he replied his voice was low, certain. "I had to, Saga. I'm sorry but you know there is no way you could deal with it on your own."

Saga bit his lip, not saying anything, he didn't want to admit it but he knew there wasn't much of a way to deny Nao's statement.

"Come home with me, cousin. Mother is waiting; she wishes to talk to you."

Saga shifted a little nervously at the mention of his aunt. After a pause he asked carefully. "And Uncle?"

"He'll be back at dusk." Nao answered. "Mother had already spoken with him. She also thought it would be better if she talked with you alone." 

Saga didn't reply immediately, he weighted the pros and coins in his mind for a second, concluding that he really had nothing more to lose. Then he nodded.

The blond haired youth turned back to find Shou still standing not far away behind him. He caught his friend's gaze, then mouthed the words "Gotta go, I'll be alright" to his friend's direction, before he followed Nao to his car.

***

Nao was glad that his predication was correct, that Saga really did go to school today so he was able to catch the latter just in time. When Saga was walking toward him, Nao's glance averted slightly to look at the brown hair figure standing by the front gate of the school. Shou, the boy who was Saga's best friend had been standing there the whole time Nao had his conversation with his younger cousin. 

Noticing Nao's stare, Shou looked up to meet his gaze, their eyes met and Nao gave the younger man a smile as a greeting. For a second, the student smiled back even so dimly, Nao believed that in that instant there was some kind of trust, an unspoken understanding passed between them. The older man recalled the phone call he had made to Shou's household in order to confirm whether Saga was there. Nao was certain that in the basically level, he had made Shou understood he was on Saga's side, and that was the reason why despite his worry, Shou did nothing to stop Saga from leaving with Nao. 

After Nao's car hit the road, neither of the two persons in the car had ever uttered a word, silence hovered above them like an invisible thick blanket. 

"How did you know I was here?" 

Out of no where, Saga murmured softly with the most neutral tone he could manage, his eyes fixing upon the rare mirror before him.

Nao could not help looking sideward to glance at his younger cousin for a brief moment, trying to read his expression, but the latter's face betrayed hardly anything for him to read into. Having no choice, Nao decided to respond by simply stating the fact. "I phoned the school's office, to make sure."

Saga sighed. How came he'd forgotten his cousin's thoughtfulness and foolishly believed Nao would do nothing to drag him back home?

"Uncle sent you, Nao?" Saga asked again with a heavy sigh, half expecting to have his conjunction confirmed.

Still keeping his eyes to the road, Nao merely shook his head. " I only told Mother that I would go picking you up and that's it. No one sent me. But Saga…you must know it won't work for you to just run away. Look, everyone's worrying about you!"

The worry in Nao's voice softened Saga's heart a little. His cousin sounded so generics worry of him that the blond could not help but feeling guilty for his immature action of fleeing. However, there was a small word at the back of his head reminding him something else.

_Nao, you said everyone's worrying about me, but I dare to say your brother doesn't feel the same…_

For some unknown reason, Saga found the thought upsetting.

Shrugging the unwanted thought away, Saga studied his older cousin carefully for a moment, before speaking again." You had a talk with Aunt, right?"

Nao simply nodded in agreement.

Taking in a deep breath, Saga steadily brought up another question which had been in his mind as soon as Nao appeared outside of the school. "Does it mean she and Uncle already had an idea about what to do with me?"

It was one of the things Saga feared all along, that his guardians might try to talk him into, or even force him into abandoning his baby straight-forward. He could not help suspecting that it was why Nao was there.

 

Nao stopped the car before a traffic signal, when he turned his head to face his cousin; there was a worry look on his face. "Trust me, no one has decided what to do with you, Saga, nor will we force you into doing anything you don't want. All we have come up with is just some… _suggestion_."

Saga did not know what to think. Suggestion, that sounded like a kind, harmless word for firm requirement.

"So what might you suggest actually?"

"As a matter of fact it was Mother's idea…" Nao clarified dryly, running his fingers through his hair, with a slightly awkward expression. Saga recognized this expression, it usually appeared when Nao had to say or do something he wasn't entirely sure about, but having no choice to back off; a sign that Nao not particularly liking what he must say next, it did not strike Saga as a good sign.

Nao started driving soon as the traffic signal changed again, fixing his eyes on the road, once getting back on his track, the black haired man spoke again to continue what he had started.

"……Actually, Mother thinks it would be best to hear from you what you want to do with the baby."

Not expecting such question, Saga bit his lower lip, his fingers nervously playing with the hem of his shirt as he forced his words out. "I…want to keep the baby."

"Good." The older man replied calmly, without even looking at his cousin's direction, as thought he had already guessed Saga's decision even before he spoke.

Nao's reaction disturbed Saga, the latter looked up and stared at his older cousin puzzlingly, without knowing what to think or how to react.

Nao's tone remained neutral when he continued. "Still you must know the hardship both teenage pregnancy and parenting entail, Saga?"

The blond youth tensed at Nao's question, he shifted uneasily in his seat, when he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper, as though he was talking to himself rather than answering his older cousin. "I…I'll take responsibility with that child! I can't just get rid of him and pretend nothing had happened!"

Nao didn't reply immediately, instead he found a spot and pulled over then stopped the engine. When he turned to look at his blond haired cousin, his expression was once again dead serious.

"How do you think you are going to take care of the baby on your own as a teenage single parent? What would you say to your child once he is old enough to ask who his other _father_ is? "

"Nao, look. It's not the point--" Desperately Saga tried to stop the black haired one from stirring up these difficult topics.

But Nao pressed the issue further. "You must have answers to these questions if you chose to keep the baby! Sooner or later you will be facing them!"

"You think I don't know all these!?" Eventually Saga snapped, the volume of his voice leaping upward all of a sudden. It wasn't fair for Nao to use such attitude on him like he was a little kid who was too stupid to a point that he could not put two and two together. "What else can I do other than facing the circumstances alone!? Just tell me Nao---"

"Mother and I do think there _is_ a better solution than what you have in mind." Nao chose to lay down his cards at that moment. He was relief to see Saga's outburst died down and now the younger man had snapped out of his frustration and his full attention was focusing back on him again. He held his younger cousin's wide-eyed stare steadily, seeing raising alarm and confusion warring with veiled hope in those eyes.

"That's one solution." Nao spoke as slowly as he could, hoping to bring the meaning of his words across as clearly and unmistakably as possible. 

Saga held his breath, waiting for the enlightenment his older cousin was about to bestow him.

"If things were to work out for all of you, then you and Tora are to get married."

"You said------ **WHAT**!!?" All of a sudden Saga found himself not able to breath, even the concept of simply inhale and exhale had seemingly disappeared from his dumbfounded mind. All he could do was to stare back at Nao blankly. He could hardly believe his own ears, his trusted cousin must be joking, he must be! Nao could not possibly mean what he had just said. 

In that instant, only one thought managed to take shape in Saga's chaotic mind, _It must be a joke. There is no way he is being serious. No way, NO OTHER WAY._

But Nao hadn't finished yet.

"We both think it will be for the best."

By then Nao came to a pause, wordlessly he sat in the driver's seat, watching the younger one's face closely, Saga had became so perfectly still that it started to make Nao worry. Again silence filled in every space within Nao's car and the dark haired man licked his lips nervously, waiting for Saga to react to the revelation, at this point any kind of reaction would be better than this utterly-shocked-beyond-recovery-state.

 

Tbc.  
Well I believe a lot of people had already guessed what is coming, and you had guessed correctly! But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't 'son' me! Since when did you pick up the loving-dad stuff, huh?" Tora talked back boldly, even though it hurt him to hear first-hand from his father that he was a disappointment to his parents. His father had expressed that much without actually uttering the exact word.

** Chapter 07 **

 

Tora's after school routine training with the soccer team was unexpectedly interrupted. During break, the coach of the school team signaled Tora to come forward before informing him that he had a visitor waiting outside of the field, Tora turned to that direction and almost immediately caught sight of a familiar male figure, wearing a deep blue business suit, standing there patiently. 

He recognized who this person was, his father's own secretary, a strangely silent man going with the name Jin.

The raven head eyed the awaiting figure from a distance, a frown knotted between his eyebrows. Noticing his stare, the secretary met his gaze calmly, waving his hand a little as a greeting.

The reason why Jin was here could not be more obvious, Tora knew he was sent by his father. So he asked the coach whether he could go and talk with his visitor first before going back to practice. The coach just smiled and explained that the visitor had already stated he represented Tora's father and had already asked for permission to take Tora out of school earlier, the coach even kindly remained his student that with permission granted, today he was allowed to leave before the practice came to an end.

With a sinking feeling Tora slowly walked to the edge of the field, picking his own belonging before going to the restroom and got change. He knew he was being setup, even though he could still refuse to go but he would make a scene before the other team members, which would be the last thing the raven head wanted. The good secretary had cleverly made sure that he would have no choice but to follow him to whatever trap his father had laid out.

As he was leaving the field, a few of his team mates sent him questioning glance but Tora could only avoid those looks as he made his way toward his father secretary. The other man greeted him politely without commenting or asking about the bruise Tora got on his face. Jin's expression betraying nothing as he guided Tora toward the school's parking garage, where Mr. Amano's car was parked, waiting for their arrival.

Driving out of the school's exit; Jin informed the younger man that his father wished to talk to him in 'somewhere private', and then they will go home together. But the secretary could not give him any detail of what his father had in mind or the topic of the so-called 'talk'.

Knowing that Jin would not, or could not tell him anything further, Tora relaxed into his seat. Ignoring the secretary altogether he closed his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired, but he knew he had to keep his strength and spirit up in order to deal with the predictably unpleasant talk with his father. 

Despite his effort, it was still hard to deny the raven haired youth wasn't in his best shape or his finest of mood. The bruised area around his left eye was still aching, even after he pressed an ice pack upon it after the incident.

Shou, that bastard. Tora swore that the next time he saw him he would be paying for this surely.

***

Inside one of the private rooms in a fine restaurant near where Mr. Amano's company based, the CEO waited for his younger son Tora to arrive with his secretary. This restaurant was chosen not only because it offered the service of private rooms for gathering, but also because in here customers' privacy had always been treated with outmost care, plus the waiters were not known to have the habit of eavesdropping.

The waiter had retreated once he brought in the ordered cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain special, leaving Mr. Amano alone with his thoughts. Unavoidably the man's thoughts flowed back to Tora and the discussion they were about to have, and the thoughts made Mr. Amano's stomach knot, the discomfort it brought was even worse than what he used to feel whenever there was a major business deal coming up. Ever since last night, million of thoughts had been troubling him, plus his state of sleep was far from good.

Last night he had a long conversation with his wife and together they decided that in order to solve the family crisis they were facing, they would talk separately with their son and nephew. It was also decided that Mrs. Amano would talk to Saga while he was to take up the responsibility of dealing with Tora, hopefully talked some sense into their stubborn son's thick skull.

Truth be told, Mr. Amano was still doubtful when it came to his wife's suggestion but since he hadn't come up with any better plan so he must at least get her plan a try. His wife had suggested accompanying him when he was to discuss matter with their younger son, but he turned down her offer. In fact, Mr. Amano thought he should have made this talk with Tora long ago before the latter went further down the wrong path and messed up seriously. It was a long-deleted serious discussion about responsibility and decency between father and son, a true man-to-man-talk with certainly no space for the presence of a mother to be mixed in. Plus it wasn't the first time he believed his wife being too soft and tolerating toward their younger son was one of the reasons for the child's downfall.

With a sense of regret Mr. Amano struggled to, not for the first time; figure out what they had done wrong with their younger son, why he would become like this when Nao and Saga both turned out alright. Although it wasn't like Tora had grown up into a criminal deviant; still through out the years Mr. Amano could not say he was satisfied with his second son and his mischievous behaviors. The boy wasn't dull, in fact he was quite intelligent, but in Mr. Amano's opinion his son just didn't have enough patience and discipline to craft his talents to make his intelligence useful. The boy also possessed charisma and he had his way to make many friends; still Mr. Amano found most of those friends naughty and inappropriate.

That was such a waste on talent. Mr. Amano thought to himself bitterly. He had proved all of his children the best environment he could afford, showered them with nothing less than patience and encouragement, but instead of making the most out of it, Tora just laid his own potential to waste. 

There was a knock from the other side of the wooden door, Mr. Amano cleared his throat out of habit and told the newcomer to come right in. He wasn't surprised when the door was opened to reveal Jin, his own secretary, the younger man followed by his son Tora, who instead of walking straight into the room, was now hovering near the entrance with veiled hint of nervousness in those deep set eyes. The raven head looked far less than willing to be brought here, but the expression on his face showed that the youth knew he really didn't have much choice, whether he would admit it or not.

Mr. Amano eyed his son coolly, he was in no hurry to speak and he was determined to make the boy sense the uncomfortable silence thickening around them within every second. With a small nod of his head, the CEO signaled his secretary to leave, the latter picked up the hint quickly and with a simple bow toward his employer, Jin excused himself. Mr. Amano watched the young man leave, bringing his cup of fine china up and began steadily sipping the warm liquid.

Ever since Tora arrived, his father never mentioned for him to sit down, so the younger of the two men remained standing, when Mr. Amano sat comfortably by a small dinning table.

Only after he finished half a cup of coffee, then did he bother to acknowledge his son by speaking to him.

"You know what you are here for."

Tora's only response was a shrug. He was used to his father's game, his liking for making a show of his authority whenever there was chance. And Tora would be damned if he ever showed any weakness and gave his father the satisfaction.

Tora's indifference was starting to get into his father's nerves. Mr. Amano's next action was to bring his cup down back onto the saucer rather loudly.

"I don't intent to allow you to run from the tough situation, like the _coward_ you are."

The raven haired youth raised his eyebrows. A coward? _A coward_? Did his father just call him that?

"I'm not a coward, old man." The youth hissed; his voice flat but there was a flash of annoyance in his tone.

In any other day, Mr. Amano would not let his son get away with disrespectful remarks upon his person, but today he let it pass, for he didn't wish to waste time screaming at his son even before the main argument could be brought front.

"Then what other word would you use to describe your own behaviors? Sleeping with your cousin then denying responsibility straight away when things went wrong?" Mr. Amano did not even try to hide the mocking tone in his voice when he replied. "I know things between young people nowadays are quite different from the time when your mother and I were young, but I truly hope you understand that what you had done to Saga is purely selfish and irresponsible. We actually had expected something better than _this_ from you, son." 

"Don't ' _son_ ' me! Since when did you pick up the loving-dad stuff, huh?" Tora talked back boldly, even though it hurt him to hear first-hand from his father that he was a disappointment to his parents. His father had expressed that much without actually uttering the exact word.

"Don't interrupt me, I'm not finished yet!" Mr. Amano hissed back in a stern voice, straightening himself up from his seat in order to stare at his son within the same eyelevel.

When he stood up the older man felt a wave of pressure rushing up within his body, disorienting him for a moment, with difficulty he forced the discomfort away at sheer will and kept his face aloof. "You don't want to be called a coward? Fine. Then you damn well should do something to proof that you aren't one! Judging from your behaviors, I can't see you had done anything to proof me wrong yet!"

Tora felt his cheeks heated up in a mixture of anger, desperation and the beginning of shame. He crossed his arms before his chest unconsciously as though it could really defend himself, words of defense whirling within his brain but none of them looked useful enough to win this verbal battle with his father.

He was in the losing side even before that 'battle' began, because deep down in his heart Tora knew this time he really was in the wrong and there was no logical way to make excuse for himself, although he wasn't going to admit it to anyone else any time soon. No one would understand what had actually happened, especially not his father.

All along the raven head had acted in a defensive way, but truth be told deep down he was scared and also confused as hell. He did not know exactly what to do, nor was there anyone for him to talk to in the most honest way. He usually would turn to Nao or Hiroto when he needed advices but this time Nao had obviously taken Saga's side and he did not really feel comfortable enough to share his deep dark secret with Hiroto yet.

"There's no point fixing things!" Speaking the first thought that came into his mind in a clearly frustrated yet helpless tone, Tora stared at his father intensively, willing himself not to shatter under the older man's unforgiving gaze. "No matter how hard I try it's still nothing in your eyes! You guys will still hate me regardless what I do!"

Mr. Amano continued to eye his son with little change of facial expression; but under the surface he felt a sense of relief. Although Tora's reply was far from coherent, still it was the first time the youth expressed any regret and guilt, a fine proof that his son wasn't as shameless, selfish and self-righteous as the older man feared him to be. 

With the cool calculation of a good businessman, Mr. Amano knew it was the right moment to make the move to persuade. What he must do next was to work this sense of guilt to his advantage. 

"The mistake you had committed didn't affect you alone. There are Saga and the unborn child to be considered." First Mr. Amano tried to highlight his point by further provoking the sense of guilt in his younger son.

Tora stood there without a word with a guarded expression on his face, his lips pressed into a thin line; his body tensed when he waited for the older man to continue. He hadn't yet guessed what his father was aiming at with his words, but he already disliked where their conversation was going, his instinct for survival sensed that there was something wrong, something he distasted was about to be announced.

" If you're man enough to face the circumstances you had created, there is at least one thing you can do to fix your mistake." Mr. Amano stated calmly, the challenging tone still lacing his tone as he laid down his card. "Marry Saga and take responsibility to raise your child together." 

" **W--WHAT**!!!?" For a moment Tora was at a loss of words, but when the realization sank in, he didn't waste time to argue back, even though his voice was not steady when he spoke, his fingers were trembling visibly when they tossed through his trims in a nervous manner. "Don't be ridiculous! Sa— _He_ would never agree! _I_ would never agree to it! "

This was the strongest defend Tora could think of, if he knew anything about Saga at all, he was certain that the blond haired one would not agree with such term. Marriage? Marriage with _Saga_ of all people? 

"So, does it mean you'll agree if Saga said 'Yes'?" Mr. Amano asked demandingly. Past experience had taught the CEO one of the important rules that could help winning a business deal: never let your opponent leave the conference table before he made an agreement first.

"I—that's beside the point!" Tora protested; his voice harsh as he tried to mask his quandary with anger. 

"Just answer me, damn it!" Mr. Amano pressed the issue on mercilessly, his patience thinning as the pressure within his skull worse. 

"I--" Tora knew he should answer straight away, if he were sure of Saga's rejection, then why not make the promise and then wait for Saga to blow things up at his father's face? Why wouldn't the words just come out?

"Say it! For goodness' sake, act like a man and do the right thin---"

"I---alright--"

That was it. The sentence came out barely above a whisper, but Tora was startled by the fact that he had said it, taking up his father's challenge.

Due to the great confusion, Tora failed to react when his father suddenly gasped, fingers reaching up to grip the fabric of the front of his shirt, a pained look of panic flashed through his face. Within the next second the raven haired youth finally did realize something was wrong, but by then his father had already started falling forward, everything happened too quickly right before Tora's eyes, too fast for him to react.

***

The remaining leg of their trip back home was a blur to Saga, for most of the time he could only sat there numbly beside Nao as the older man drove. Realizing he wasn't going to get a reply from his younger cousin anytime soon, Nao had eventually given in and let him be, it was understandable that the suggestion came as a great shock to Saga. After all from what Saga had let out previously, Nao could tell that the thing between Saga and his younger brother was a result of impulse, plus the blond head never planned to have anything to do with Tora in a long term. Nao wasn't blind, he could always tell things between Saga and Tora had always been…quite complicated, with tension pulling between the two like a rush of electrical current; though it wasn't like the two down right hated each other's guts, but their relationship was far from loving and caring, unlike what Nao and his mother might hope. 

With a small sigh the black haired man parked the car before the front door of his parents' house. Stepping out of his car Nao looked back only to see Saga still sitting on the passenger seat passively, staring at the house with utter confusion in his eyes. Nao sighed again, then he called out to his cousin in order to snap him out of the shock.

"Saga, we've arrived already."

The younger man tensed, before he feebly opened his side of the door and stepped out as well, not that he was eager to face his aunt, he had already started thinking what he should say to reject her plan without making himself sound rude and ungrateful. His aunt had all her good intention to try making thing work out for him but her suggestion was just……absurd. She must be desperate to believe such a plan could work out. A marriage between him and Tora, of all people? That was ridiculous! For one thing Tora would reject such proposal immediately. After the raven head's outrageous denial of his involvement in the conceiving of the unborn baby, wasn't it clear enough for all of them to see Tora wanted nothing to do with him? It would be humiliating to see the raven head deny them both once more! 

They only made it half way toward the front door when the said door was suddenly thrown open, the doorframe banged loudly against the wall, revealing an uncharacteristically disheveled Mrs. Amano.

"Get into the car!" Once seeing the pair, Mrs. Amano rushed out like a bullet, grasping Saga's hand while she shouted at her older son. " We need to get there as soon as possible! All of us!"

Saga was so confused to a point that he could only let his aunt drag him toward Nao's car.

"What's happening, Mother?" Following closely, Nao asked worryingly, still puzzled by his mother's sudden request.

"It's your father…" For an instant, Mrs. Amano stopped and turned back to Nao, she looked up to her son as she replied helplessly, her hands shaking. "He's in a hospital; they said he had a stroke."

Tbc.  
HAHAHAHA! We got more surprise! Comments please!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your child doesn't have all the time in the world to wait, does it?" Mr. Amano interrupted him again, if he had any attempt to be humorous, then nobody in the room was smiling. "The decision must be made, Saga. Are you going to bear the responsibility or not, for the child's sake?"

** Chapter 08 **

 

Half an hour later, the three members of the Amano family finally arrived to the hospital. Nao managed to find the direction of where his father was and the troop went straight toward the private ward which Mr. Amano was assigned to. 

They had to make the last leg of their trip in an elevator, and it took seemingly forever for the elevator to reach the floor where Mr. Amano's ward was located. Saga stood next to his aunt, she looked so shattered and worried that the youth instantly wrapped his arms around his aunt, trying to offer her some support. Up to this point no one had given them details of his uncle's condition. The only thing they knew was that the man was in no immediate danger and they were allowed to meet him in his ward.

Saga understood his aunt's shock, for he himself could hardly accept the news of his uncle's sudden illness. In their minds the head of the Amano Family was a well-fit man, despite his heavy workload, Mr. Amano excised regularly and maintained a healthy lifestyle; plus the man was only at his early fifty, far from the age when people started falling down with a stroke. 

He had to believe that his uncle was okay though, Saga knew that a man like him would not just go down without a fight. At least his uncle had been taken to the hospital and he must be in good hands now. If not for his own sake, then Saga had to have faith in his uncle if it was only for his beloved aunt's sake.

Thankfully, the elevator did come to a stop. Nao led his mother and Saga through a corridor before they stepped outside of a certain ward, the black haired man knocked on the closed single door before opening the door, in the next second all three of them were inside the ward. Mrs. Amano was the first to react; she rushed to her husband's bedside without a pause.

"Anata!" Her voice broke into a sob as she found her husband lying on the bed, seemingly unconscious. The usually strong, invincible man she had always pictured in her heart now looked pale and sick all at once before her eyes. At least she must be thankful that he was breathing on his own and nothing more than an IV bag and a ECG machine were connected with his arms.

Nao and Saga rushed to her side, trying to give whatever support they could to the older woman as she heaved another sob. At the corners of their eyes they caught sight of some movement. The two looked up to see Tora stand up from the other side of the room and now walking toward them. 

Saga did not know how long his second cousin had been in the ward, or how did Tora manage to reach the hospital before they did. But none of these questions possessed any importance now; at least he was glad that his uncle hadn't been alone when the rest of the family was on their way here. The sight of Tora still stirred up mixed feelings from his chest but the blond one knew too well there was no time for quarreling, which would be the last thing any of them needed at that moment.

Without a word, Tora stood at the opposite side of the bed, looking down at his own father with worry, sadness and something else Saga failed to pinpoint. Meanwhile Mrs. Amano had taken her husband's hand and was squeezing it gently, hoping to get a response from the patient.

Fortunately she did not have to wait long, a moment later Mr. Amano's fingers tightened slightly, gripping his wife's as he let out a small groan at the back of his throat. Slowly, the man opened his eyes to meet the sight of his family members looking down at him, worry and anxiety all over their features.

He focused on his wife, who was wiping her tears away quietly. Mr. Amano tried to hold her hand in order to calm her, but failed to do so properly since the drugs in his system had weakened his strength.

"Don't worry…… I'm alright." The man resolved by trying to calm his wife with words, the latter could only nod, but her expression didn't look any less anxious.

"How do you feel, Father?" Nao interrupted gently, wanting to hear from his father's condition.

The older man insisted despite his weakened voice. "The doctors…will agree, I…I'll be fit to leave this place…soon."

Not wanting to argue, Nao only gave his father a small nod in response, still deep down he did not agree with what the older man had said. Right now his father did look okay, but men his age did not simply recover from a stroke so easily; it surely will take time for his father to get back to his old self. Plus Nao was certain they still needed to hear the doctor's comment before they could make any decision.

Just when Nao was about to say something, there was a knock on the door and seconds later the it was open, revealing a man who seemed to be a doctor had appeared in front of the door, next to him stood Mr. Amano's own secretary.

The grey haired doctor greeted the patient and his family formally and he soon found himself being bombed by questions from the members of the Amano family. He answered those questions as well as he could; trying his best to reassure the family members by pointing out his patient was in no foreseeable danger. It was a bliss that Mr. Amano was sent to the hospital almost immediately after the stroke. Still, surely the patient would need follow-up checks and recovery in order to keep his health condition stabilized.

The doctor had to repeatedly reassure Mr. Amano's wife and children that the patient was going to recover in no time, before he could excuse himself from the ward. Once the doctor left, the family members were left to accompany their loved one. Shortly afterward, Nao drew Jin outside of the ward in order to speak to him out of earshot, there were a few details of the incident involving his father's illness, which he wished to clarify with the secretary, who was also there when his father went down. 

Oblivious of the departure of Nao and the secretary, Mrs. Amano went back to her husband's side. For a moment Saga wanted to join her but once he saw Tora moving near his uncle's bed as well, he automatically stopped, standing awkwardly in the middle of the ward, unwilling to go away, but also unable to come closer. 

He still could not trust himself anywhere near Tora just yet.

"Saga…are you there?" 

Out of the blue his name was being uttered by the patient, Saga looked up sharply in surprise; moving quickly to his uncle's bedside, but there was nowhere else for him to stand near his uncle saved for the empty space between Mrs. Amano and his cousin. Gritting his teeth, the blond haired youth moved quickly in between them, standing as close to his aunt as possible, while avoiding any physical contact with the tall raven head.

He vaguely heard Tora shifting away from him, doubtlessly trying to keep his distance as well. The blond haired youth expected nothing less from Tora though, for the latter had been acting like this ever since their ill-fated night at Miyavi's party.

"Yes, Uncle. I'm here." Saga replied softly, bending forward so the patient could hear him clearly.

The older man's eyes were barely opened due to tiredness; still he forced himself to focus as he spoke to his nephew ever since the family meeting from last night.

"You had made a huge mistake, kid." With tired eyes fixed on his nephew, Mr. Amano began to say. 

Swallowing hard, Saga mutely nodded, he knew more than anyone else what a horrible mistake he had made, it also made him feel guilty that his uncle still had to be troubled by the problem he had caused even when he was on his sickbed. The last thing he wanted was for his uncle to still be upset with him when the older man's health was at stake, after all a patient needed his peace of mind to recover.

"I'm sorry that I've upset you, Uncle---"

"What I'm upset about is the fact that you had kept this away from us for so long." Mr. Amano interrupted impassively, striking Saga into silent.

Then putting more strength into his voice, Mr. Amano continued. "Why did you do this? Are we not trustworthy enough for you in the moment of need?"

"It's not like this!" Saga nearly exclaimed before he quickly reminded himself they were in a hospital, raising his voice would not be an appropriate thing to do. "It's……I need more time to think…"

Saga knew he was trying to make excuse right now but he could not help himself when his uncle's tired yet firm eyes were fixed upon him quite demandingly. How could he possibly explain to his uncle how complicated the whole mess had been?

"Your child doesn't have all the time in the world to wait, does it?" Mr. Amano interrupted him again, if he had any attempt to be humorous, then nobody in the room was smiling. "The decision must be made, Saga. Are you going to bear the responsibility or not, for the child's sake?"

"I--I" Saga felt his throat dried up suddenly as he struggled to from words. "I do want to take responsibility."

A knowing smile flashed upon Mr. Amano's pale lips when he heard Saga's reply. In response he continued. "Then will you allow my son to take his part of responsibility together with you?"

A sharp gasp could be heard echoing through the ward from somewhere behind Saga, from where he guessed Tora was standing. Meanwhile Saga felt his cheeks heating up immediately in embarrassment, plus he could sense his aunt's questioning stare fixed upon him as well, making him ever more nervous.

Closing his eyes, Mr. Amano spoke again without waiting for Saga's reply. "Long ago I had sworn before your parents' graves that you would be in good hands. For all those years I had lived up to my own words, and I'm going to keep my promise to your late parents still…"

"Uncle! It isn't--"

"Don't interrupt, kid." Mr. Amano reopened his eyes and looked up to his nephew firmly. "I want you and your child-- _my grandchild_ to be safe and secured. Since my stupid coward of a son is responsible for this mess as well, then we can agree that he should at least do something to help fixing things. "

Tora, helping fixing things up? Saga had to suppress the pathetic urge to laugh. If he wasn't so dumbfounded by what he had just heard, had the situation he faced not been so grave; he might well be laughing his head off at this point. 

Without a word Saga turned his head around and nervously gazed at the other people in the room, as if he was unconsciously looking for someone to somehow get him off the hook. Much to his surprise he saw Nao was there by the door, his face stern with seriousness. Saga had no idea for how long his older cousin had returned to the ward and listened to their conversation.

The blond youth pleaded silently with his eyes for Nao to step in and say something, _anything_ to break the awkward silence, still much to his horror the older man remained passive, returning his gaze however Nao said nothing, shaking his head as if trying to signal: _'It's about time we come down to this'_ to his deeply troubled younger cousin.

Feeling desperate, Saga looked away, turning back to face his guardians. He found that he could barely meet his aunt's hopeful stare that he had to look away. Taking a deep breath Saga quickly thought things over trying to figure a way out of the situation. There was something in what his uncle had just said which was bothering him, just a tiny sense of wrongness. It seemed to him something just failed to add up when he thought about his guardians' plan more closely.

Something must be wrong. His guardian had seemed to come up with the wrong conclusion. First there was his aunt's suggestion to throw him and his raven haired cousin into marriage, and then here they were, his uncle talking about the two of them taking responsibility for the baby right in front of everyone. 

Then the realization hit him, causing him to gasp. Goodness, he thought he had finally found out why they would suggest such thing. He should have realized something was seriously wrong…..

They all thought there was something going on between him and Tora.

Something going on, as in a 'having a relationship' way.

Goodness, it was horribly ridiculous for them to think of them in that direction.

Perhaps their false belief was not as outlandish as it first appeared to be. After all, _usually_ two people, if both were in their right mind, would only sleep together when they actually loved, or at least liked each other.

But the norm could hardly appeal to their case, the major difference being, they were hardly their sane selves when the incident took place.

There was no other way to explain it. Saga did not know who started this or why any of them would come up with such impression that he and Tora were somehow _involved_ , in both emotional and romantic sense. The only thing he was certain was that _this_ had to be the main reason why they all seemed to think everything would work out if they managed to talk them into getting married.

The thought made him shiver all at once. To Saga, marriage was something which would only take place in a far away future, something meaningful and important which must be handled with care and consideration. More importantly, he always thought marriage was for people who loved and treasured one another. It was not something he would have wanted so early in his life, it was not something he would have wanted with _Tora_.

However, there were many sides of the event to be considered, the unborn child he was carrying for one thing, his uncle and aunt's reputation the other……last but not least, there was also Tora to be put into consideration. 

Looking up Saga slowly, feebly turned his head back once again, this time toward Tora's direction. Now he noticed how his hot-headed cousin hadn't thrown a fit after he heard his father's words so far, which was almost uncharacteristic coming from the headstrong teen. Was he too worried of his own father to be throwing a fit now, or did it mean something else……

Hoping to detect this 'something else', Saga boldly looked toward the raven head, who had so far been quiet. His face at the first glance looked blank, but with closer observation he noticed how tensed his second cousin's body was, how stern his expression seemed to be. Emotions warred within his cold dark orbs when those eyes locked with his own, either of them refused to be the first one to look away, it was almost like what they did when they held each other fiery, angry gaze during last night's family meeting.

For an instant it was like everyone within the ward was holding their breath, waiting for something to happen as the two teenagers faced one another. But Saga could barely recall the presence of the other Amanos when he spoke again, his gaze never leaving Tora's as the thickening silence was finally broken. At that moment he came to the conclusion that whatever his guardians and Nao might think, it would be Tora whom he needed to face and confront before he could face his friends, schoolmates and other people from the outside world.

Instead of choosing to avoid Tora like he had originally planned, Saga had changed his mind. He realized he must first try to confront the person who set his world up-side-down. 

"We need to talk." 

His voice wasn't loud but there was a new found strength beyond this simple request, and his voice seemed to be echoing off the four walls during the other stretch of silence that befell the ward. 

Tora's expression shifted slightly from the guarded indifference into veiled surprise, and a barely-there amusement. Though the raven head did not say anything before he moved toward the door, gripped the door handle and opened it. After that he kept standing by the door, his hand still rested on the handle while his eyes met Saga's again, glancing back at him with a challenging look. 

Taking a deep breath, Saga walked toward the raven head, soon he had passed through the door without giving Tora a sideward glance, with the latter following him close behind. No one had said a word; no one had spoken up to stop them from leaving.

The door was closed again, leaving the remaining members of the Amano family to wait for the outcome.

Tbc…  
I'm sorry that I'd taken so long…but I had been damn busy, and it's already 1:30am when I was done with this chapter. For the sake of my hard work, comment please!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saga shivered at the last thought, the possibility of his foolishness bringing embarrassment and disgrace upon those he cared about was even more unbearable than his own misery. No, he must do his best to help them avoid such inconvenience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little something I want to clarify:  
> 1.) Basically the Amano couple (especially Saga's aunt) thought Tora and Saga were involved/had been messing around, and they thought that right now Tora was being irresponsible and having commitment issue, after a fashion.  
> 2.) Being a little more closer to the truth than his parents, Nao knew his brother and Saga weren't actually together; still he had long sensed there was something going on between the two……

** Chapter 09 **

 

Not for the first time ever since his dreadful secret was out in the open, Saga felt like crying his eyes out. He felt sad, helpless, angry and disoriented all at once; to make things worse he was also feeling the beginning of the now-familiar nauseous urge rising up from his stomach as well.

Soon as the urge surfaced, the youth angrily shook his head as if by doing so he could shake the negative feelings away. His thoughts were a mess with different ideas jamming together as he tried his damnedest to make sense of his own situation. Despite his chaotic state of mind, Saga kept walking forward mechanically in fast speed, without even looking back to make sure Tora was following him. This hard-hearted cousin of his was now the last thing to worry about when he had so many things to worry over with. 

If Saga only had himself and the unborn baby to consider, his answer to that proposal would have been a firm **NO**. However, in reality he also had his guardians' feeling and their best interest to keep in mind. 

So what would happen if he refused the marriage proposal, and decided to carry on his plan of raising the child on his own?

Doubtlessly things would be very difficult for him to be a single parent; he had no illusion about that. Plus, his decision would also affect the Amano family, by now judging from his aunt and uncle's attitude and the invariable concern they had showed him, Saga now dared to allow himself to think that his guardians were far from heartlessly kicking him out of their house. Still despite the Amano couple's best intention, after what they had gone through, if he really did chose to live under the same roof with the Amanos, things would surely be unbearably _awkward_ , for all of them. 

Therefore sooner or later, he would have to leave at some point, but given his current state as a mere student, what kind of suitable environment could he ever provide his future child to grow up in?

Things would have been better, much better if only he could at least finish highschool, for he would have a better chance to survive. Sadly, his uncle was right; the unborn child did not have all the time in the world to wait for him to make the best of choices, or even for him to make it through his graduation. Therefore he would have to do with what was offered to him.

Eventually his feet carried him to the atrium of the hospital building, where various flowery plants were grown to beautify the public area and cheer the patients up. The blond haired youth stopped at in his path, standing in front of the small field of flowers, Saga crossed his arms protectively before his thin chest, his gaze fixed on the colorful field before him without really focusing on it as he reached deep within himself for answers to the tough situation he had been facing, and the even tougher decision he knew he had to make. 

Taking a deep breathe to slow his heart race down, the blond calmed enough to continue his thinking process.

Furthermore, his uncle must have his rest in order to recover from the stroke; naturally his aunt would have to focus on taking care of her husband. Meanwhile Nao, given his dutiful nature, would have to shoulder part of his father's responsibility in order to make room for the older man to rest. With the three of them busy making arrangements, Saga thought it would be selfish for him to become yet another burden to weight them all down.

Plus it was a common knowledge that words could travel fast and wide, especially when teenager pregnancy took place in a high-end family was still a fine material for gossip, something to be frowned down upon by unsympathetic outsiders. In a time like this when all of them had to struggle to keep things together, the last thing the members of the Amano family wanted was to become the subject of wild, hurtful rumors, or even a public scandal.

Saga shivered at the last thought, the possibility of his foolishness bringing embarrassment and disgrace upon those he cared about was even more unbearable than his own misery. No, he must do his best to help them avoid such inconvenience.

Then as unwillingly as he was, Saga was forced to think the marriage proposal over, as indiscriminatively as he could. 

If only he could get married before the baby's deal time, then people would be less likely to gossip about him, then his guardians' reputation would less likely to be affected. The only problem being: not only Saga had no lover to begin with, and it was already too late to start looking for one with so limited a time. After all, who in his or her right mind would marry a boy who got himself untimely pregnant? Who would want to raise a child that wasn't their own?

As to the proposal of a marriage between Tora and him, at first he had thought the main idea of them taking the vow was nothing less than pure madness, no to mention the thought of bounding himself to someone he didn't actually love, to someone who by turn would never grow to love him for the rest of his time, did fill him with dread. However, while the rational side in Saga was still denying the idea, the more cunning, selfish side of him was telling him the otherwise.

It was almost like there was a tiny invisible devil whispering into his ear. No one would want to marry Saga now, that much was certain; obviously Tora wanted to have nothing to do with him either. Still, Tora was far from blameless in the circumstances, which meant if Saga handled things carefully, then the raven head could be _pressured_ into doing what other people and even Tora himself didn't want to do, to actually take responsibility, by doing so help Saga out of his seemingly hopeless situation.

The idea sent a thrill to shoot down his spine instantly, Saga once again shivered as he lost himself in his thoughts. What if he could somehow work around the marriage thing, making everyone's life a little easier while finding a way out of it in the end……? Could it be possible that there was a way to make everything work out?

Then yet another idea rushed all the way in. An idea which at first seemed absurd and kind of…wrong; still after turning things over and over again in his mind, in the next second he made the decision he hadn't thought he would ever make.

Saga knew he _really_ was desperate when he felt himself giving in. Desperate people always came up with bold, risky ideas, and went along with those bold-faced ideas straight ahead. 

Now he could only pray he would not regret his own decision afterward.

He turned back only to find Tora standing there, just about five or six feet away from him. He had no idea how long the raven head had been there watching his every move. Saga had more important things to worry about when he finally must steel himself up to face Tora again.

This time it was for talking, the last thing he needed would be another episode of melodrama between them. He needed to convince the raven head with his new-formed idea, only after that arrangement could be made.

A single glance upon his cousin was all Saga needed to learn what was likely to be in the older one's mind right now. Judging from the expression on the raven haired youth's face, Tora wished he was anywhere else but here and he also wished he was with someone else, _anyone else_ other than Saga. Still, the blond must give thanks to the fact that despite his obvious unwillingness and impatience, Tora had still followed him here; it was like Tora also knew that this confrontation was unavoidable. Taking a closer look on his older cousin, Saga noticed the bruise around the taller one's left eye, he briefly wondered how Tora managed to got himself hurt and whether he had been in trouble or not. But he soon shrugged the thought off since what happened to Tora or whom the raven head might have crossed resulting in him being punched right on the face, was now far from his major concern. After all it was none of his business, right?

Instead Saga focused on how he should start his speech, he needed to make it quick and simple in order to bring his points across. Tora wasn't someone who can sit through a lengthy lecture so to speak, what would more likely motivate him was simple 'deal or no deal', 'you make your offer, then I'll show you what I've came up with', these kind of straight to the point, businesslike-no-nonsense conversation. In this respect, Tora and his father were very alike. 

Therefore, he must show Tora the benefit of his plan, how both of them could avoid worst of the circumstances if they _worked together_ instead of fighting like cat and dog. To think about it, it was just like what people do when making a good business deal. Through the years, he really, really did not spend his time listening to his uncle's talk about his work in his spare time for nothing.

Sighing softly to himself, Saga willed himself to walk forward to his cousin, only stopping when he was now about two feet apart from the other one. He glanced around his surroundings to make sure no one else was there, before he turned back to look up at Tora fully.

"We need to talk, now." As idiotic as it might sound, out of nervousness all Saga could come up with as an opening was a repeat of what he had already told Tora.

The raven head merely gave him a _'took you long enough'_ look, not bothering to reply his statement verbally; though the impatience on his face only seemed to grow. It was Saga who wanted to have this talk, not him. He wasn't going to take effort on helping the younger one to make the conversation any easier.

However, Saga didn't let himself be bothered by the older one's lack of interest, for once he forced himself to forget about his personal feelings toward Tora just in order to carry on what he had to say next. "I've a suggestion, but I know you're not going to like this. Frankly I don't like it myself either."

The frown between Tora's eyebrows deepened, for a moment Saga almost thought the older one was about to snap at him but he replied in a flat, bored voice: "Go on."

Saga took a deep breathe and picked up his speech: "There is something we can do to make things better. But in order to make it, we must work together."

Tora was giving him weird looks immediately after he heard what the younger one had said. Before the raven head could say something discouraging or negative, Saga stopped him by rising his hand before him, a signal for the taller one to stay put.

"Please do listen to all I have to say before you make any comment." The sentence came out with a low hiss, Saga did not want to make himself sound rude, he only hoped he had projected enough urgency in his voice to make Tora know he was _dead serious_ about what he was about to say.

Tora raised an eyebrow, it was the first time his younger cousin confronted him with such determination. Who was he to deny what Saga requested? "Anything you want, _dear_. I'm all ears now."

The mocking remark sent a jolt of pain through the blond haired Saga's chest. That was too much. Tora really did not have to be cruel but the raven head always had to make it a point to show how little he cared about other people's feeling, especially when _his_ feeling was concerned. 

Keeping his voice as impassive as he could, Saga started laying down his cards with care. "About what Uncle and Aunt had said, I had no idea they were about to suggest such a thing before today. I don't know how they came up with such idea and I honestly didn't do or say anything to… _inspire_ them. And believe me; I'm as uncomfortable as you are when it comes to their absurd plan." 

He must make it clear that he was as dumbfounded as Tora obviously was about the whole situation, so the latter would not come up with any weird, unrealistic wrong impression.

Silence once again stretched between them, only after a long pause then did Tora nodded his head. He had no difficulty believing that Saga did not take part in his parents and brother's evil scheme. He had already known Saga would not agree upon such plan. So was the blond youth about to admitt that he was going to refuse the proposal? If it was so, Tora really did hope the younger one would say that in front of everyone, just for putting their bizarre idea to rest once and for all. 

"But…I just thought that……" Taking Tora's response as an okay signal to continue, Saga forced himself to bring up the _really_ difficult part. "If a marriage would make everyone happy," Saga explained with faked confidence that he didn't actually feel. "Then all we need to do is to fake it."

The blond could hardly believe he had actually said it out loud, but once again everything was out in the open, there was nowhere he could take his own words back now. 

Tbc…  
Here come the surprise! What do you think about it?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Saga could back away, Tora shortened the distance between them with a quick step forward, both his hands shot out rapidly to grip the younger man by his shoulders, blocking his retreat once and for all.

** Chapter 10 **

 

"What do you mean?"

It was the first thing which came out of Tora's mouth after the long stretch of silence. There was no way to hide the disbelief in his voice, nor did he have the strength to put up a facade any longer.

During the long pause, Tora's eyes never left his younger cousin's face; he was still trying to find some hint to show him that Saga wasn't serious about what he had just said. But in the end he simply came up with nothing.

As realization sank in, Tora felt his head starting to ache. Everything was still so… _unbelievable_. Did he just hear what he thought he heard from the blond head? Was Saga really suggesting they _lied_ to the people around them, right in front of everyone else? That was something Tora never expected from an uptight Goody Two-shoes like his cousin. If his ears still served him right, then he had definitely just heard Saga suggesting them to tell lie, it was as outlandish as hearing cartoon characters from Disney Channel cursing and using the F-word. His uptight cousin really had kept surprising him these days…… 

The taller one saw the blond head sucking in a deep breath, his fingers twisted together out of nervousness when he spoke on.

"What I want to say is, that…marriage thing, we can fake it." Saga paused for a second, before explaining further. "We can be married in nothing…but the name."

It took the older boy a few minutes of silence to think about what Saga had brought up. When he spoke again, his voice indicated that he was far from optimistic about the suggestion.

"Why must I do such thing!?" Unconsciously Tora raised his voice in annoyance. Following their parents' plan to go through the marriage arrangement was definitely the last thing he wanted.

"Because you owe me that much."

Saga's quiet voice undulated around them like ripples spreading across a still water surface. Saga did hear his own voice floating in the air, he heard himself uttering the sentence. He could hardly believe he had said that. He never planned to say it so directly, though it was too late to back down now. To make things more uncomfortable for him, deep down he knew he had no right to play victim in the given situation.

He had been the victim of his own ill-judgment, lust and foolishness, but Tora's victim he was not. Despite everything else, Tora did not physically corner him into sex. Everything was done with consent, as crazy as it might sound at that night Saga did want it to happen, or so he thought at least for the time being.

 

Tora's face was blank for a second, the only immediate reaction seemed to be the widening of his orbs, but soon what Saga had said finally dawned upon him, and within seconds those dark eyes had turned cold. The raven head's expression sent a chill down Saga's spine immediately.

"Yes, _you owe me_." Saga repeated despite his basic instinct was telling him it was not exactly safe to stay near Tora right at this moment; he still did his best to steel himself and spoke on, trying to breathe as much conviction as he could into his own words. "But I'm not going to hold you responsible for ever, all I need is your……temporarily help."

If Tora ever decided to snap back, the blond knew he would have lost all his bold faced courage and would also feel too ashamed to continue his speech. However, even though the displeasure in Tora's eyes was still there, the older one had remained silence, allowing Saga to carry on.

"The marriage only needs to last for a short year or two, it's only to buy time. Once everything is settled and Uncle is fine again; we can just..."

A year or two, it was what he desperately needed to prepare himself to archive the independence to live on his own as an adult. 

"Break it off." Tora finished the sentence for him, with a sense of finality in his tone.

"…Yes." Saga mouthed the word with the same finality in his voice. At the back of his mind Saga could almost picture himself leaving together with his child, away from Tora two years or so from now on. Nao, his aunt and uncle would most likely be unhappy when they would learn about their decision to separate (But could it be called a 'separation' when they hadn't really been together in the first place?) but they wouldn't be able to stop them. Plus when the moment of parting would arrive, Tora definitely wasn't going to miss them. 

But why did he find the last thought upsetting, like a single drop of acid drifting onto the tender flesh of his heart?

"And what good would it do for me if I went along _your_ plan?"

Here came the _really_ difficult part. Saga thought as he prepared himself to reply as carefully as he could. The blond haired youth swallowed a lump down his throat, before he laid down his cards for good. "You'll gain your father's trust back. By doing this you do something _right_ in his viewpoint."

Immediately Tora's handsome face twisted, he took a step back involuntarily as if some invisible force had pushed him back, hard. However, Tora wouldn't be Tora if he didn't recover from the shock quickly and responded to a challenge with some sort of come back.

"Exactly what makes you so sure that I care about what he thinks?" The raven head nearly hissed.

"But you _do_ care." Saga's voice was soft; still there was an unwavering certainty in his tone. "You care very much about what he thinks of you; regardless what you might be telling other people and yourself."

They stared at one another for what seemed like forever, both unwilling to look away. Still in the end, it was Tora who first broke off their eyes contact. Just a mere second later he realized what he had just done, then he groaned in defeat while turning his head away, cursing under his breath. 

Tora knew his reaction had already told Saga what he had just said was true. Anymore agitated reaction from him would only further proof Saga's point as being correct. Goodness, he hated this, the way that Saga seemed able to see through his layers of defense, making him feel transparent and vulnerable.

And it also made him feel angry.

Abruptly he jerked his head back to face Saga again; staring right into the latter's eyes with the most dangerous look he could manage. He couldn't tell exactly what Saga had seen from his face at this very moment, whatever it was, it was enough to startle the blond head. This time it was Saga who had to step back, but Tora didn't let him. The raven head wouldn't let his opponent talk shit right at his face without circumstances.

Before Saga could back away, Tora shortened the distance between them with a quick step forward, both his hands shot out rapidly to grip the younger man by his shoulders, blocking his retreat once and for all.

Tora dragged the shorter one toward himself, their bodies nearly pressed together. It was the first time the raven head touched his cousin ever since they had committed their fatal mistake, ever since this Tora had been avoiding any physical contact with his cousin, but right now he couldn't care less.

He heard Saga gasp, looking up to gaze at him with shocked, widened eyes. Actually the latter didn't have elsewhere to focus his gaze upon but to look up at him like this, given their closeness and the pressure that applied upon his thin shoulders. But it was just exactly where Tora wanted the younger man to be. 

Tora bent down slightly so he was literally eye to eye with the blond head, their faces close enough to kiss.

Confusion welled up from Saga's brown eyes, with such closeness he could feel Tora's hot breath upon his skin, body heat radiating from the lean body pressing against him. Saga felt himself blushing despite his best effort to put his emotion under control. The strong grip upon his shoulders was starting to cause him discomfort, even though the grip was not a painful one but it added upon the helpless state he found himself in.

"You really think you can box me into doing your bidding, huh?" Tora's voice was deeper, lower than Saga had ever heard. The raven head was speaking so slowly, his tone laced with barely controlled anger.

Saga shivered as he recognized the veiled anger; still he refused to look away. He felt kind of frozen in his place though, unable to do anything under such intensive stare. At the back of his mind he knew he should make a response, saying something clever to counter Tora's malicious question; but sadly his mind went blank when he tried desperately to think of something to say that wouldn't worsen the situation.

Saga wasn't expecting it when the next thing Tora did was to smirk down at him, instead of bawling right at his face.

"Have you ever heard _'be careful of what you wish for'_ before, little cousin?" Tora whispered into the blond head's ear, his voice sending another wave of shiver down the shorter one's spine. Before Saga knew what he was doing, his eyes drifted shut. 

"'Cause what you wish for might actually come true……." 

Through the darkness beyond his closed eyelids, he heard Tora's voice echoing around him. Saga snapped his eyes open in shock, only to feel the pair of strong hands loosing their grip upon him, and Tora's presence withdrawing as the taller man walked backward, away from him altogether.

_Little cousin_. With a sinking feeling, Saga realized it was what Tora had just referred him with, and past experience taught him that nothing good was going to come out whenever Tora called him like this. 

Saga blinked before his eyes went back to focus upon the tall figure before him. He was still confused by what Tora had said. Couldn't he mean---

However, Tora did not give him the chance to bring up question. The raven head only gave Saga one challenging, meaningful smirk, before turning on his heels and left without a backward glance.

Tbc.  
I need to go to work within half an hour so I've to update this fast.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whatever Tora's motive might be, Saga could not stop him now, right now he had no choice but to play along with the raven head.

** Chapter 11A **

 

Saga never thought the path he had chosen would be easy to carry out, but he needed to admit the reality was even tougher than what he could only guess. Truth be told, Saga felt the knot that tangled in his throat getting tighter and tighter, his heart grew heavier as days went by.

After the intensive confrontment on the hospital yard, Saga had no other choice but to follow Tora after the latter walked away without a backward glance. The blond head didn't feel courageous enough to question where he was heading toward. Much to his surprise he soon realized the older boy wasn't actually leaving the hospital like he had suspected; instead Tora was going back to his uncle's ward.

Upon their return, all eyes immediately fixed straight on them. Tora stepped right into the ward without a care of whether he was being followed by his younger cousin. Saga could only stand nervously near the entrance. Up to this point the blond head still had no idea what Tora was up to, there was a fat chance that his cousin would simply refuse the proposal, or even expose Saga's foolish little ploy out of spat. The blond bitted his lip, preparing for the worst.

When the blond head was the least expecting it; Tora had already started announcing that _he was going to marry Saga_. His tone all serious and steady, with none of his usual uncaring attitude; as though his previous outburst was nonexistent; also as though he was actually willing to take that step without regret.

Such an impressive speech that would have fooled everybody, Saga included; if Tora's last words before he ended their conversation so abruptly hadn't still been ringing in his ears.

_Be careful of what you wish for. 'Cause what you wish might actually come true……_

The blond had to bite back a gasp of surprise when he heard what Tora had just said in front of everyone. He had never expected Tora would react like this, in his mind he had thought it would take him much, much more effort than this to convince the raven head to agree. He even thought he was risking being mocked or laughed at mercilessly once he ever dared confessing his wicked little ploy to Tora. Hell, usually it was difficult enough to talk Tora into cooperate with him in many smaller, less important things.  
So why did the raven head start cooperating now? Saga frowned as he tried to figure the mystery out. He could sense there was something wrong in here. Tora must be still up to something, something that wasn't working on his favor. The only problem was that he could not see what game Tora was playing right now.

Whatever Tora's motive might be, Saga could not stop him now, right now he had no choice but to play along with the raven head.

Still lying on his bed, Mr Amano stared at his younger son for a long moment as if trying to read the latter's thought. It took quite a while before his face eventually relaxed and the older man gave his son a nod of approbation as a response. Then he turned his attention to his nephew, and asked calmly. 

"Are you going to accept the proposal, Saga?"

Swallowing hard, Saga stole a glance at his second cousin, but if the latter did notice it, he didn't show any reaction.

Giving up Saga turned to look at his uncle, breathing in deeply before he mouthed his answer.

"Yes."

From that point onward, there was really no going back.

After taking in all the news, a smile spread across Mrs. Amano's tired face, then she went toward Saga, kissed him on his cheek and hugged him warmly, before she moved on to her son and did the same.

Finally, Nao came up and patted his younger brother on his shoulder, whispered something to the latter's ear, his voice too low for anyone expected Tora to hear; before he gave Saga an open smile, giving his congratulation.

The Amanos seemed more than pleased with this new development, though from time to time Saga noticed Nao was still watching both Tora and himself with a hint of doubt in his eyes, but whatever thoughts Nao might have about them, the brunet kept his mouth shut. 

****

Days later, Tora's sudden change of heart still confused and troubled Saga, but so far the raven head hadn't done anything mean to Saga expected probably the routine cold-shouldering, Saga decided he would let Tora do whatever he saw fit as long as the older boy didn't take back his own words. He actually had something ever more important to deal with than bothering himself with his so-called fiancé.

After the day at the hospital, the Amano family had a few sessions of discussion together, it was agreed that even though no one was calling in for a high profile, grand wedding party for the betrotheds, still the family wasn't going to hide the marital arrangement, like the marriage was something the family was feeling ashamed of. Instead they would handle the marriage issue as normally and calmly as they could. So they would still host a ceremony for close friends and relatives, to celebrate the union of a new couple. 

Saga remembered feeling blood drained from his face when he heard from his aunt's lips that there _would_ still be a ceremony despite the inconvenient facts about the union. Shotgun wedding wasn't treated with a lot of respect, so the blond haired youth really thought his guardians would only be willing to allow the simplest services: they would simply go to the register office, signed all the necessary documents to formalize the marriage, saying the formalized vow in front of a government official, both their legal guardians-- namely Saga's uncle and aunt; adding a trustworthy close kin or two such as Nao as the witness. It was all that Saga had expected. He wouldn't have asked for more.

But his aunt's decision had shot his hope for having a simple, _very_ low profile civil ceremony down. Saga partly agreed with his aunt's idea of handling things as normally as they could, still having an _actual_ ceremony to go through, with friends and relatives to witness his……unity with Tora, of all people; wasn't something he would be looking forward to; even though the blond knew too well that it was what their relatives would expect, a proper wedding ceremony to attempt and take part in. Saga had to once again remind himself none of their kin knew the true purpose of the marriage, and it would be foolish to blow up their own façade.

So the blond nodded slowly when his aunt asked for his opinion, he was shocked to see Tora did the same after a long, tensed moment of silence when Mrs. Amano asked him what did he think. Though the dark look on Tora's face told the blond haired youth Tora disliked the idea about the wedding ceremony as much as he did, if not more.  
Once the decision was made, things seemed to be finally set into motion, and they were now spinning faster and faster within every single day, too fast for Saga to catch up with. All at once there were many things to be discussed, decided and finally arranged and excised for the ceremony, phone calls had to be made, timetable to be set up, people needed to be contacted, lists had to be penned down, various tasks had to be handled, etc. With so many things being in process, the Amano family was literally energized by a light-hearted kind of excitement, and anticipation for the upcoming wedding. The news was slowly, but steadily began to spread within the circle of friends and relatives.

Strangely enough, the excitement and anticipation that filled so thickly in the air, had not been shared by the two betrotheds who were about to take the vow. They went dutifully through Mrs. Amano and her hired consultants' instruction, but with little joy or optimism to speak of. However, hardly anyone notice their true feeling, the adults only took that the two teenagers were simply too shy and nervous to express their affection publicly.

To be continued at Part 11 b

It's short I know, but I need to do more research before I can continue…


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saga was taken aback by Shou's defensive attitude; it was almost like the brown haired one had no intention to talk to him at all.

** Chapter 11B **

 

If the pressure of keeping the secret, the preparation of the wedding, and the uncomfortable symptoms of pregnancy such as morning sickness hadn't been enough to uneven Saga, then there was yet another worry he must face. 

The school. 

Saga very much wanted to continue his education, but common sense told him it was not possible for the school to allow an underage student to show up in the school while he or she was obviously pregnant. After all unlike some foreign countries, the society they lived in still hadn't been so very accepting when it came to teenager pregnancy. 

The current semester was going to an end after the upcoming final examination, after that there would be the summer holiday. The summer holiday could offer a window of opportunity for the blond to be absent from school life for about the time of two months. But what about the school term after the holiday?

It seemed like Saga had no other choice left but to inform his teacher of his condition; the problem being: how much should they reveal?

***  
When Saga arrived to the classroom this morning, the first thing he did was to scan around in search of his friend Shou, who he hadn't seen for the past few days.

He must admit he had been so caught up with his own problems that he did not pay as much attention as he should to his friend. Still by the time he became aware of Shou's unexplained absence, days had already been passed.

After his fruitless search for his best friend, Saga finally turned to his fellow classmates, asking them whether they knew Shou's where about. He was shocked to hear that his best friend had received a suspension; he had been suspended for the past few days already. The blond blinked in disbelief when one of his girl classmates informed him about this. The girl claimed that the suspension was a punishment for Shou getting into a fight in school.

At first Saga thought the girl must be lying, Shou was never the type to pick up fight with anyone. But his classmate insisted that what she had said was true and 'everyone else knows that!', she even suggested Saga to ask Shou himself once he got back to school later on, his temporary suspension was supposed to end today.

***

Shou finally arrived into their classroom, just seconds before the teacher walked in. Class began immediately after that, leaving Saga no chance to make small talk with his friend. He observed his brown haired friend during class, stealing glance toward the latter's direction whenever he could. To everyone else Shou might just looked like his usual self as he focused on the lesson, sitting not far from where Saga sat, listening to what the teacher had to say. But Saga had known him well enough to tell Shou wasn't particularly in good mood, it seemed like something was upsetting him. Saga sighed, not liking the finding of his observation. He couldn't wait for the lesson to end so he could talk with his friends, only then he would be able to try finding out what was the other's problem, why would he got into a fight to end up being temporarily suspended. 

Chance did finally arrive when their morning row of classes came to an end. Saga stood up as soon as the teacher left the room, then walked toward where Shou sat before simply signaled the latter to follow him. Being friends for long Shou didn't have trouble recognize the message sent to him, soon the two students were making their way through the corridor, before walking down the stairs. 

It didn't take long for them to reach to a quiet corner at the back of the school building, where students rarely set foot during break time. Saga stopped, turning back to face his friend. 

"What's the matter?" Raising an eyebrow, Shou was the one to speak first.

Saga was taken aback by Shou's defensive attitude; it was almost like the brown haired one had no intention to talk to him at all.

"You asked me 'What's the matter'?" Saga nearly hissed in disbelief. " How come you got yourself a suspension? What's it for?"

Shou looked away; he stared at the ground next to his feet before finally murmured. "It's nothing……"

Crossing his arms across his chests, Saga could not help pouting. "Don't kid me, Shou! Are you in some kind of trouble?"

Honestly the blond head didn't want to sound like Shou's mom; but his best friend just didn't seem to realize that Saga was worrying about him; so far Shou didn't give him any chance to at least understand the problems he might be facing. To think about it……Shou's odd behaviors had started right after Saga told him about his pregnancy, before that his brown haired friend had never been acting so out of character before. The timing could not likely be a mere coincidence. Saga had a vague feeling that _he_ actually was the reason of Shou's change, regardless the brown head would admit it or not. 

Sighing, Shou looked back up to his friend, then replied with impatience lacing his tone. "It really is nothing, it's just some stupid fight I'd gotten into, and some moron had reported me to the teacher."

This time Saga was speechless, his eyes widened in shock, never had Shou been known getting into fight, the 'fight' must be rather serious, for the teacher had so quickly taken action by issuing an suspension once whatever Shou had done was reported. 

"That's it."Shou's voice rose as he spoke, as though wanting to breathe more believability into his own words." Are you happy now?" 

"So you are not in trouble anymore, right?" Seeing that Shou was still not opening up any time soon, Saga could only voice out one of his many concerns for his friend, hoping to be reassured.

"Huh huh."Shou shrugged quite absent-mindedly, but his tone had softened. He didn't think he would be getting into more trouble for what had happened in the canteen with Tora, for the teacher didn't issue other punishment beside the suspension. But Shou wasn't going to explain all these to Saga simply because the fact that he had to receive punishment for punching someone as unworthy as Tora still pissed him off utterly. Beating people up is wrong, Shou knew it, but he also justified his action by thinking Tora deserved a punch for his irresponsibility and also for putting Saga into such a difficult situation.

"Anyway how had you been, Saga?" Noticing that the blond still seemed to have more questions in store, Shou quickly cut in, partly for changing the subject, partly out of mere concern for his friend's well being. "You did talk with your uncle and aunt, did you?"  
During his period of suspension, Shou had half expecting Saga to appear at his doorstep again, or receiving a phone call from the blond, pleading for help; but none of these happened. He had made a few phone calls, leaving messages to Saga in hope to get in touch with the latter; none of those had been replied. That made Shou worry, thinking Saga might get into serious trouble with his guardians, to a point that he wasn't even allowed to contact his friends.

Originally, Shou planned to ask about Saga's own situation once he got the chance, if the blond youth didn't seize the opportunity first by asking about Shou's absence first. 

This time it was Saga who had to avert his glance. He knew Shou was worrying about him and his friend probably thought his uncle and aunt had been giving him hell after he went home. The least he could do was to reassure Shou that nothing really bad had happened to him.

"Yes we did talk." It was all Saga could manage to answer. For reasons that he couldn't put into words, he didn't want to inform Shou of the arrangement he had made with the Amanos, not so soon.

Shou frowned even so slightly, he expected to hear more detail of what they had discussed and decided, not such a simplified conclusion.

Saga eyed his friend nervously before adding. "I mean…no one is yelling at me or kicking me out, neither……"

Although it was a relief to hear his friend hadn't been facing the worst case scenario, still Shou sensed that something was amiss. The Amanos would just let their nephew be without making arrangement of some sort, it just didn't seem likely. 

"Exactly what do they want you to do then?" Shou simply asked, not satisfied with Saga's ambiguous reply. 

A knot was forming between Saga's fine brows, out of nervousness he half turned from his friend when he tried once again to squeeze some sort of explanation without revealing the whole truth. "They didn't do anything bad to me, Shou don't worry!"

All Saga could hear was a heavy sigh from his friend before he felt both his hands being gripped gently and held up. Startled, the blond youth looked back to see Shou closing the distance between them, his expression all serious when the latter's eyes fixing upon his own.

"What did you agree with them to do?" Shou asked once again before the blond could say anything. It would be naïve to think that the Amanos had made no arrangement with Saga when the pregnancy issue was concerned. He only wanted to find out what kind of condition had Saga agreed upon in order to make peace with his guardians. Shou could only hope that his friend hadn't agreed to do something unwise out of desperation, or under pressure.

For a long time afterward Saga stared at his friend blankly, it had became clear to him that there was no avoiding the issue this time, Shou had more or less had him cornered. 

Taking a deep breath, Saga gave his answer; his voice came out rushing and unsteady. "I…They want me to marry Tora before the baby's due time."

That was exactly what he had agreed to do, but why it didn't make it any less difficult to admit his marital arrangement to his best friend?

Shou nearly dropped Saga's hands out of pure shock and disbelief. "They…want you to marry that _jerk_?"

The obvious malice in Shou's voice startled Saga, he had already expected his best friend wouldn't take in the news with joy and optimism but Shou's reaction was even stronger than what he had imagined. 

"Yes, it's what they want." Saga noticed that his voice was weaker than he had wanted it to sound. He had never seen Shou like this, wrapped in a chilling, icy sense of anger seemingly radiating from his being; his friend's reaction had filled him with dread.

Slowly, as if in slow motion; Shou dropped Saga's hands and took an unsteady step backward, drawing a distance from the blond.

"And you had already agreed hadn't you? No please don't say that I'd guessed correctly……Please don't tell me _this_!"  
Something about Saga's attitude had already indicated what Shou feared, but he needed to hear the answer from the blond haired teen's own lips. 

Shou's accusation let Saga feel very cold right down to the core of his being. He had previously harbored a vain hope that Shou would understand the difficulty he faced, but it seemed he had been proofed wrong.

But what had been done was done. There was no way for the blond to take back what he had revealed. So to Shou's question, he could only nod. 

Dead silence filled in every space around them as if it were icy dark water. For the longest of time Shou didn't say anything. Saga watched helplessly as his best friend looked at him with disbelief and something else he could not fully understand; something akin to disappointment and……betrayal. All of a sudden Saga no longer felt Shou was close to him, that Shou was someone who understood him. It was as though a bond that used to bind them together had suddenly been broken off.

"I……can't talk to you now." Finally Shou stated; his voice low with suppressed anger. When he looked up to meet Saga's stare his eyes were dark with an unreadable, murky look, one of his hands was waving from side to side meaninglessly. "What you'd agreed upon is just…… _wrong_! I won't accept it!"

_Then what would you want me to do?_ Saga thought miserably, feeling misunderstood and alone. His friend was rejecting the idea of him marrying to another guy. Once he mentioned about the marital arrangement, Shou, his best friend didn't seem to be in the mood to hear what he had to say.

Instead the blond was given no chance to explain himself. In the next second Shou was stepping back before finally turned and walked away; leaving Saga behind in the empty corner of the school yard.

Saga wanted to call after his friend, but his voice seemed to be choked dead in his throat, hot moisture rushed to his eye sockets all of a sudden as unbearable sadness pierce through his heart.

To be continued. 

Poor Saga!  
Comments are love and you know it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Saga sounded like he was still completely clueless, by now Tora had no doubt in his mind that he had just found out Shou' s true feeling toward his supposed best friend. What Tora had previously suspected was now confirmed.

** Chapter 12 **

 

Tora slowly backed away from the opened window, hiding himself in the shadow; currently he was inside one the rarely used staircases in the school, right near the school's back yard. 

In the staircase between the ground floor and the first floor, there was a narrow landing in the middle. A dusty window was there upon the wall at the side of the said landing. If you happened to stand in front of that certain window and looked downward, not only would you be given a good view of the backyard, you would also likely have a chance to hear quite clearly of the conversations which were exchanged down there, just a mere floor below.

The dark haired teen leaned against the wall next to him in order to clear his thoughts a bit. He could still hardly believe what he had just heard, Shou's heated conversation with Saga. Yes, hardly any detail in their conversation had escaped him. Both Shou and Saga were too focused on their argument to notice they might not be as alone as they might think; nor did neither of them ever think of simply just……look up.

Then the bell rang; a signal for everyone to get back to their classrooms on time. Tora didn't mind it, he simply left his spot and began to climb up the stairs, as he walked; the smirk that had crept up to the corners of his lips only seemed to spread. How could he not be amused by what he'd just overheard from Shou's own lips? He'd ever imagined this even in his wildest dream. It was just great, what he had just discovered was so… _amusing_.

A thrill of dark amusement rose up from his chests, causing a chuckle to escape his lips. Although he knew fully well that eavesdropping was low, a violation to privacy, but right now Tora wasn't in the mood to concern himself with morality and manner. Right now he didn't mind playing dirty as long as it could keep him ahead in this little game.

His only excuse was that he really didn't plan to spy on Shou and Saga, it was out of pure coincidence that Tora happened to spot the two of them walking along the corridor, heading toward some unknown place. It was out of mere curiosity that he had followed the two; it was only out of sheer luck that he managed to overhear what they had said to each other.

Even though Saga sounded like he was still completely clueless, by now Tora had no doubt in his mind that he had just found out Shou' s true feeling toward his supposed best friend. What Tora had previously suspected was now confirmed.

Shou viewed Saga more than a mere friend. To put it more simply, Shou was in love with Saga. 

That's it. That's Shou's little secret, plain and simple. Tora thought to himself with a smug smile spreading across his face as he finally reached his floor. How could he not notice it any time sooner? It was so simple that everything that had happened between himself and Shou could well be explained.

Through out their school lives, Tora did have a lot of friends who also happened to be Saga's friends; Miyavi was one of the fine examples. Still for all these years, Shou was _Saga's friend_ , not Tora's. 

Despite the fact that Shou moved more or less in the same social circle with Tora, still it could hardly cover the fact that Shou had never gotten along well with him, nor did the brown head ever be eager to befriend him in the first place. Underneath all the facade of politeness and skin-deep friendliness they'd displayed for appearance's sake, the two of them had never been true friends, never was and never would be. Back then Tora was hardly bothered by this fact, he didn't bother to get to the bottom of their veiled but mutual dislike toward one another before……but now, the dark haired teen believed he had just figured out the reason to explain Shou's hostility toward him.

Shou wanted Saga, but the latter was too dull to realize it, which meant Saga most likely wasn't aware of Shou's feeling toward him, which also meant so far Shou hadn't success in getting what he wanted.

Back then Tora wouldn't have given a damn about whom Shou might fancy, but now things had changed. It had become so very important for Tora to find out what Shou wanted. Only after he figured it all out, then did the dark haired one stood a chance to pay Shou back for what the latter had done to him. Not only did Shou punch him like a rag doll, the brown haired student had also humiliated him in front of a bunch of people, publicly; it was something that Tora wouldn't forgive so easily.

Tora's quickly thought out plan of revenge was a simple one, the goal of the plan was to keep Shou's object of desire out of his reach. What a brilliant scheme, and it was also a practical one too! Tora added on as if it was an after thought. This time he would have the upper hand. For Saga currently was, after all--- _his fiancé_ so to speak.

Tora would be damned if he didn't make full use of this advantage.

His feet had carried him back to his classroom even before he noticed it; he was jolted out of his dark thoughts only when someone tapped him on his shoulder.

"What?" Tora was confused for a second, turning to look back, only to find Hiroto standing behind him with a questioning look on his face.

"You have that smug look on your face." Hiroto stated matter of factly, with a small frown between his brows, but there was a teasing tone in his voice when he continued, like he was someone who was in for an interesting secret. "You are up to something, right? _Something bad_ ……"

Knowing Tora for long, Hiroto knew his friend was probably up to something. He had noticed Tora's unusual expression the moment he entered the classroom. That look on his face could only indicate that the tiger was up to something mischievous, up to no good was the exact word. The smaller boy could only hope that his friend's scheme was not directing at him. Nope, Tora wouldn't be so mean to his dear friend.

Tora had to stop himself from openly grinning after hearing his friend's remark. He only shook his head, saying nothing in reply.

He was returning to his seat when he heard Hiroto calling out after him."Ick! Tell me what it is, Tora! Won't you let your dear friend in on the secret?"

"Not this time." Looking into the smaller boy's big, curious eyes, Tora calmly replied, earning another frown from his friend. "I really can't tell you yet……"

"Meanie." Hiroto crossed his arms, but to Tora's relief, he didn't sound genuinely angry or offended. 

Tora made a face before replying. "Soon, I'll tell you more when the time is right."

"You better keep to your own words then, pal! Or else……"the shorter boy gave the brunet a half-hearted threat, before returning to his own seat. 

To be continued.

That's a short chapter, but I'm running out of plot…and this chapter is un-betaed, I'll have this fixed later.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was not paying attention so when Tora seemingly materialized before him out of nowhere, blocking his path, Saga was utterly taken aback, so much that the textbooks he was holding nearly dropped to the ground.

** Chapter 13A **

 

The remaining part of the school day felt like a blur to Saga as he sat through the rest of the lessons barely noticing and remembering a single thing, he simply couldn't put his mind back on the school activities after the unexpectedly painful confrontation he had with Shou. The incident had left him emotionally disturbed, feeling rejected and abandoned after Shou literally walked away from him when he needed his best friend's support the most.  
He still could not figure out exactly what had made Shou so upset. He had long been aware of the mutual dislike between his friend and Tora. Logically speaking, Shou had no reason to be rejoiced when hearing the news of his friend's engagement with someone he didn't like. But why would he react so strongly once the word 'marry' was used? Things just didn't add up in Saga's mind.

He couldn't understand Shou's outburst when the latter heard about the marital arrangement. The brown haired teen had looked so sad, so disappointed as if Saga had _failed_ him at something. Saga just couldn't get around what that 'something' actually was, no matter how hard he tried to analyze Shou's action. 

And there was this intense look in Shou's eyes when he confronted him……for an instant those eyes had spoken volume of deep emotions before Shou simply withdrew himself and turned so unbearably cold and forbidding altogether. Saga couldn't read that look, but one thing he was certain, even though everything happened only in a brief instant, still for a moment he felt……strange when Shou looked at him like this.   
But Saga had to put the thought out for the time being, he was simply not ready, not willing to think any deeper, as though out of instinct he vaguely sensed that getting to the bottom of it would only ruin his friendship with Shou even further.

***

His unhappy thought left him gloomy and low spirited by the time he left school. Today Shou was nowhere to be seen when it was time to go home, he didn't wait for Saga as he usually did. So the blond had to go back by himself.

If it wasn't enough to ruin his mood, something else even more troublous also took place after school.

He was not paying attention so when Tora seemingly materialized before him out of nowhere, blocking his path, Saga was utterly taken aback, so much that the textbooks he was holding nearly dropped to the ground.

For a moment the blond was speechless, he silently struggled to figure out why would Tora show up in front of him like this out of the blue, but he couldn't think of any good reason.

Strangely enough, Tora didn't say anything. He merely stood there in front of his cousin, trying his best to look cool and casual but deep down he could hardly keep the nervousness he felt under control.

After a long moment, Saga decided that he had had enough of the silent treatment. He had felt bad enough for a day already; he did not need Tora to jeopardize his mood further by playing mind games with him.

"Wh…What do you want?" The question burst off from his mouth the same time the thought was formed in his mind, and it came off sounding impatient and sharp.

Tora didn't expect Saga to make his first move like this; this time it was him who felt taken aback. With the sense of nervousness growing, he found his thoughts jammed together as he tried to find words. 

"Y--You're going home with me."

It was the only thing that Tora had managed to come up with, but once the sentence left his mouth, regret sank right in immediately for he realized at once how absurd the request had sounded even to his own ears. 

In return, Saga stared at him in utter disbelief and bewilderment. "Why should I!?"

Feeling even more nervous than before and also feeling as confused as Saga now did, Tora's next sentence came off rushing together. "Becauseit'swhatshouldbedone."

"What?"Saga gave his older cousin another confused look, but this time he decided he should give up the effort to continue communicating with Tora. This guy was just impossible! As always he found it extremely difficult for understanding to come through between them. He could never figure out why things were always like this for them, and today Saga wasn't in the mood to think things over. 

"Hey! I need to go to the same direction as you do in order to go home! Remember?" More words rushed out pass Tora's lips before he could think the better of it. "It's only natural for us to---"

"I'm not going--"

Before Saga could finish telling Tora to get off his back, a dull ache suddenly made itself known from his abdomen, causing his face to twist in pain. He bent down slightly, putting a hand on his stomach, hoping to smooth some of the pain, the aching wasn't sharp or overwhelming, but it was still there, and its presence was constant. Saga remembered his doctor had once explained that slight ache or discomfort from the abdomen region was something not unusual for a person in his or her early state of pregnancy, and he didn't need to be alarmed unless there was any sort of bleeding or spotting. But……it was still the first time he experienced such discomfort first-hand, and it was kind of……scary. 

"Hey, are you okay?" 

With his head lowered, Saga couldn't see Tora's face, but surprisingly the black haired teen sounded truly concerned when he spoke to Saga now...... 

Then the blond sensed that Tora had moved toward him, part of his torso also came into Saga's blurry vision, getting closer and closer; till he was right before him.

"Err……Do you need to see a doctor?"

Judging from the movement of Tora's arms, Saga could tell that the older one wanted to touch him in some way, maybe it'd be a pat on the shoulder, but before the contact actually could take place, Tora hesitated, his hands stilled in the mid-air for a moment before they slowly fell back to their owner's sides. 

Pressing his hand onto the aching area, Saga straightened himself as much he could, shaking his head. "No…No need. Just…Let's go."

He still couldn't bring himself to ask Tora directly to take him home, but he wished that Tora would take the hint.

The black haired one frowned, uncertainty clearly written on his handsome face."Are you sure that you'll be alright?"

Once more his younger cousin shook his head tiredly, but slowly he began to walk forward. 

Tora's eyes widened as Saga brushed passed him, his steps weren't entirely steady but the blond had somehow put himself together despite the discomfort and tiredness he had previously showed. The message was clear: this time Saga had decided to go his own way, with or without Tora's help.

The black haired teen could only sigh, usually such stubbornness would annoy him; but now worry had drowned out impatience and irritation.

So up he went Tora hurriedly crossed the short distance between him and Saga. Sensing the approaching presence, the blond boy's speed had slowed down, his head half-turned to glance at Tora in confusion. Seizing the chance Tora quickly yet gently, took the younger one's hand into his own.

Instantly the first thing that crossed Saga's mind was to brush Tora's hand away, but the latter's grip on him was stronger than what he'd expected. 

"Stop being stubborn for once, okay? We both know you need this!" Tora stated with a matter-of-fact tone, briefly letting go of Saga's slim hand he'd been holding only to take his elbow instead.

It was when the confusion welled up anew; Saga was utterly puzzled by Tora's action. With the way that Tora was holding onto his elbow, with the hand that dragged him slightly closer to Tora's lean form……All in a manner that looked as though Tora was trying to…support him?

Closing his eyes for a short moment, Saga wondered why would Tora act like he cared? Why would he ever bother offering to go home with him in the first place? He had never done this before so what was the point of starting now? 

Neither of them had spoken during their journey back home, but the blond youth found that Tora's company wasn't a stressful, unpleasant one like what he'd expected. He was even thankful of Tora's quietness and the lack of crude remarks or teasing. In fact, the mere feeling of being cared for seemed to calm Saga down more than anything else after his run-in with his best friend, at least for the time being.

To be continued in part 13b  
It's already 1am in the morning, I'm bone tired……so comment please.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting back tear, Saga confessed truthfully. He didn't use to be so emotional, but it seemed to be increasingly difficult to keep his emotion under control.

** Chapter 13B **

 

Unexpectedly the sunny days came to a sudden end; at its place there came layers of grey clouds, and it had been raining for an entire day. Misty shower hovered above the city, cooling down the summer heat even with temporary effect.

Folding his wet umbrella, Saga sighed in relief as he stepped into the Amano's household, putting the umbrella at the corner of the entrance area, putting off his shoes before walking further in.

He arrived home later than usual due to his appointment with his doctor. He had gone there alone. Before he exited from the school's gate, he actually had no choice but to tell Tora to back off so the older boy would not be following him all the way to the clinic. Saga thought he would definitely die in shame if he were to show up in the clinic together with Tora for his pregnancy check up.

Saga had been feeling strangely worn, and the dull pain that first made itself known yesterday just wouldn't go away. So far the pain hadn't gotten worse, but it didn't get better either. Worried, Saga decided to pay his doctor a visit.

Beside his physical condition, there also were a few things else bugging him, and one of them being no other than Tora, his so-called betrothed.

Even since the after school incident two days ago, Saga had noticed that the black haired teen had been suspiciously……caring toward him. Although the blond couldn't complain Tora's display of consideration, still he couldn't help thinking that something was amiss here.   
The only logical reason Saga could think of to explain Tora's change of attitude was that perhaps his dear aunt had something to do with it, since Mrs. Amano showed a great amount of concern once she learnt about the unexpected shift of Saga's physical condition. That the older woman might ask, or even force her son to act more caringly toward him, the thought made Saga nervous, for he knew despite his guardians' best intention, forcing Tora to take care of him wasn't a good idea. Despite the difficulty he'd been facing, the blond was positive that he didn't particularly want Tora's pity.

He thought he'd have to have a small conversation with his aunt about the matter sometime later.

Eventually he found his aunt in the study. Mrs. Amano was sitting behind the large hard wood writing desk which her husband usually occupied. She had her own laptop opened in front of her, her eyes fixed on the screen as her fingers dancing skillfully across the keyboard, handling some document for her husband's sake. People might not be aware of it, but the businessman's wife had once been known as a skilled secretary before the time of her marriage; and she hadn't lost her fine touch with the world of business even after all these years.

Seeing his aunt hard at work, Saga hesitated. Perhaps it wasn't right time to disturb the older woman. However, before he could quietly retreat, Mrs. Amano had spotted him hovering right outside of the study's door; she smiled and waved the boy in.

Obediently, Saga walked in. His aunt had also stood up, leaving the writing desk and moved to sit upon a couch nearby. Following her example, Saga sat down beside her.

First the older woman asked her nephew about his trip to the clinic, and was relief to hear the doctor thought there was nothing wrong about Saga's condition saved for the discomfort that was most likely cased by the change of hormone level. 

But Saga didn't expect it when Mrs. Amano changed the subject into something else that nearly caught him off guard.

"Is something else bothering you?"

The blond shifted in his seat, uncertain of what he should say. Perhaps his aunt had already sensed something was off with him……

"Nothing…I'm just, a little tired." Finally the youth decided to play things down, in order not to add to his aunt's worry. Surely there were plenty of things Saga had been worrying about, but none of the topic was thing that he could share with his aunt.

Mrs. Amano nodded understandingly. Being the mother of two sons, she could sympathize with Saga when the latter expressed physical discomfort.

"So don't work yourself too hard, would you?" She suggested gently. "Too much pressure is no good when you're pregnant, dear boy." 

"I know--"

Saga's voice broke off as he felt his throat tightening all of a sudden. The blond felt his defend melting under the concern and motherly care his aunt had bestowed him. Yes, he'd been under pressure and at some point things seemed to become increasingly difficult and out of his grip. Shou's outburst, Tora's confusing behaviors and most of all, the secret he must keep from everyone; for too long he had been holding his breath, trying to work things out. 

"I'm scared, Aunt……"

Fighting back tear, Saga confessed truthfully. He didn't use to be so emotional, but it seemed to be increasingly difficult to keep his emotion under control.

Mrs. Amano said nothing, simply drew the boy closer, putting his head to rest upon her shoulder, arms wrapped around the boy's slim form protectively. She knew that in a moment like this it was what Saga needed. Pregnancy, marriage and parenting were no easy burdens to shoulder, and despite the bold, mature front Saga had put up, he was still young, so young.

As childish as it might sound, Saga had to admit he missed such caring touch, the sense of being so utterly protected and treasured by someone else, someone he loved and respected with his whole heart. Despite the stress that he'd undergone, Mrs. Amano's accepting, caring attitude did make him feel better.

"It's okay, dear." Mrs. Amano placed a hand on her nephew's head, combing his locks of hair in a comforting manner. "I know it's difficult for you to put up with all these. But please don't be afraid. Things will be alright in the end. I have faith in you and my son."

It was a relief to hear someone, especially someone as important to him as his aunt, had put so much faith and trust in him, but what Mrs. Amano mentioned next was so unexpected that it threw Saga right off balance.

"Saga, though I never brought this up in the past, still I've always sensed that there's something special between the two of you."

'The two of you', did she mean it by the term of him and Tora? Looking up to his aunt, Saga felt his lips trembling, for an instant he was torn between laughing and gasping in shock. Even though he knew his guardians had quite a wrong impression about Tora and him being an item, it was a bit disturbing in a sense to see his aunt stated her view about their relationship with such amount of certainty in her voice.

But he also knew he had no one else to blame for the awkward situation he'd just found himself in. He had played along with the Amanos' misunderstanding, in order to serve his own goal.

"But Aunt---"

He wanted to explain to the older woman that it wasn't what had been bothering him, but his weak protest had been cut short.

"Please do have more faith in Tora too, my dear." Mrs. Amano asked, taking Saga's hand in her own. "Despite how he sometime acted, my son isn't someone who would run from his responsibility. More importantly, he cares about you."

Saga could only smile shyly in return. Still true be told, he wasn't so certain about his aunt's statement. 

If only she knew about the agreement he had with Tora, then she might change her mind.

To be continued.  
What do you think anyway?


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep down Shou almost wanted to take back his own words, he knew what he'd said to his best friend was too judging and Saga's hurt, puzzled look was still very vivid in his mind. He didn't even pause to hear what Saga had to say for his defend before matching away in all his self righteous anger.

** Chapter 13C **

 

The raining continued well after daylight faded. All of the outdoor activities had been understandably canceled. The bell rang, signaling that school day had finally come to an end. Being free to leave school earlier than usual, some of Shou's classmates had quickly worked up a plan for after school amusement.

Before long Shou was invited to go with the gang to Hizaki's home to try out the latest version of Wii, and also to enjoy other relaxation, having no other plan, Shou accepted the invitation. Then almost immediately, Shou turned his head back, glancing at the direction of where Saga's seat was located, only to find the blond had already left.

Mixed emotion swelled within his chests as he stared at the empty seat for a moment longer before shaking his head and returned to the small talks his classmates were having.

For so long it had been a norm for Shou and Saga to engage in after school activities, and Shou had gotten so used to having Saga to accompanying him on their way home---in fact Shou could hardly think of a time that they weren't doing different things together. All of these made the lack of Saga's presence during the last few days nearly unbearable.

Deep down Shou almost wanted to take back his own words, he knew what he'd said to his best friend was too judging and Saga's hurt, puzzled look was still very vivid in his mind. He didn't even pause to hear what Saga had to say for his defend before matching away in all his self righteous anger.

If pride and his own hurt feeing hadn't been getting in his way, Shou would come close to admit, even if it were only to himself, that he regretted the way he had treated his friend.

In the last few days, for more than once Shou could sense that Saga wanted to break the ice, but his courage always failed him at the last moment, thank to the indifference Shou displayed. Saga was probably hurt by his attitude, but Shou couldn't, no matter how guilty he actually felt, bring himself to talk to the blond. There was so much hurt, confusion and frustration inside of him that he doubted he could handle talking to Saga just yet.

During their long history as best buddies, there had quite a number of arguments and quarrels between the two of them, there also were moments of fury and frustration from time to time; still in the past neither of them could stay angry with one another for too long, usually the boys would make up soon afterward and laughed together when the issue blown over. 

But this time it was different. The emotion ballooning up inside of Shou was too raw to handle, and he simply couldn't just make up and go on pretending nothing had changed in their relationship. If he really did it, the attempt would only be half-hearted, dishonest and it would bring them nowhere.

Before Shou knew it, he had already arrived to Hizaki's home along with the others. He had been so deep in thought that he could hardly recall being shepherded into a spacey room upstairs, which was specialized as Hizaki's own recreation room. Hizaki's family was so well off that their little princess was bestowed with a recreation room for entertainment use, completed with fancy sets of Hi-Fi, TV system and other high-tech goodies.

The troop soon settled down quickly as Shou found himself sitting on a large comfortable sofa with several of his friends, watching the others took turn playing with Hizaki's expensive new toys. Luckily for the students tomorrow was Saturday so they all knew they could spend quality time relaxing, escaping from the pressure of schoolwork for the rest of the night.

Soon it was Shou's turn to try out the wonderful Wii experience. He took the device and started playing some zombie-shooting game alongside one of his classmates, Byou. For the whole time Shou tried to focus his mind on the game he was playing, it really couldn't be so difficult to win for the game was a simple one, just keep your killing speed till all the zombies were destoryed. But his thoughts kept drifting back to the shocking news that Saga had reveled in the schoolyard, and what had been gone on between the two of them.

He couldn't believe Saga would just bow to his guardians' will without a fight. It was awful enough that the Amanos had came up with the absurd idea of shoving Saga and their brat of a son into marriage; it made it even worse for Saga to actually accept it. Hell, it was already the 21 century, marriage was for people who had true feeling for one another, for those who were in love; it wasn't right to 'seal the deal' with someone whom you harbored no fondness, it just wasn't right. How could Saga get along with such plan? 

A particularly loud, bloodcurdling howl from the screen startled the brown haired boy out of his train of gloomy thought, Shou's eyes focused just in time to see a hideous zombie springing upon his game's avatar, the ugly face of the said zombie now filled the entire screen in extreme close-up. 

Frowning in distaste and irritation, Shou quickly aimed the Wii remote at his enemy, repeatedly pressing the button to open fire at the creepy monster in front of him.

Seconds later, the zombie fell down with crimson blood oozing out from its ruined torso. But more were coming toward Shou's game avatar, yet another ugly zombie rushing forward to get him.  
Random thoughts flashed in his mind as Shou aimed once again.

_Darn. Let's imagine it's that Tora-jackass you're shooting at._

After that Shou had no problem focusing on the game.

***

Even though Shou felt a bit better after his turn of zombie-smacking, still it didn't clear the thoughts that had been bothering him so much in the past few days. One of the most important questions being: should he confess to Saga after that dramatic shift of events in the schoolyard?

Giving the Wii remote to the next player, Shou walked to the other corner of the room, choosing to sit on the carpeted floor, watching another small group of female students sitting in front of another TV set, watching some drama. Judging from what little Shou could see playing on the screen, the girls had turned on the TV and were intensively fixing their eyes on some Korean soap opera.

Soap opera or not, currently it hardly made any difference for the brown haired youth. He didn't care much what exactly was on the TV, he only needed some motion pictures and sounds to distract his thoughts. 

_"How can you do this to me!?"_

Almost absent-mindedly, Shou heard the dude in the soap opera shouting in disbelief when the girl whom Shou guessed was supposed to be the male character's girlfriend, after she stated that she was going to leave him.

_"I—I'm so sorry. But my parents force me to marry that guy……"_

The actress, who wasn't quite that beautiful, was mouthing her line with faked tear sparkling in her eyes. 

_"I still love you but I can't see you again!"_

With an overdramatic sob, the girl ran off from the dude who was supposed to be her lover.

Something in that over the top acting from both actor/actress touched Shou's heart as he watched on. Now the dude started to run after his girlfriend.

_"Don't go! I love you!"_ The dude was shouting aloud as he ran, trying to catch up with the girl. _"I won't give up on you, you hear me!? Nothing can make me give up! You and I belong together!!!"_

_I won't give up on you!_

There were different noises in the room, the excited gasps and laughers from the guys, random sound effect from the video game, girls' giggle between their small talks.

But Shou heard none of those, there was only one thing echoing in his ears.

Tbc.  
The chapter kind of ending in a rush, but I still hope you enjoy this.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shou didn't pause before he called out to his friend, once he recognized it was Saga entering the car, obviously about to leave. Where did he plan to go in Saturday morning? Anyway Shou would make sure that he was going to find out about this.

** Chapter 14A **

 

Shou left his parents' house early in the morning the next day, today was Saturday so it was an off day when school was concerned. Usually a youngster like Shou would spend Sat sleeping in or lazing around all day, but this time the brown had something different in mind.

Instead of sleeping in, Shou was making his way to the Amano's household.

The confusion and anger which consumed him so thoroughly within the pass few days, had vanished without a trace. Though it didn't mean he wasn't feeling nervous about what he knew he would do before today coming to an end, still he was glad that ever since yesterday, he had finally made up his own mind, and found enough determination to reach his goal.

Determination to face Saga again properly and told the blond what had _really_ been in his mind for all these time. 

Simply put, as cliché as it might sound, he was going to confess.

The thought swelled abruptly in his chests at once, filling his racing heart with thousands of rainbow-colors bubbles. Even he was surprised to learn that a major decision like this could be made so easily, he seemed to be simply snapped up from the haze of confusion and figured out what he truly needed to do in Hizaki's gathering, as if the irritating, painful feeling of loss and frustration he had suffered after he learned that Saga was going to marry himself off to Tora was nothing. 

Perhaps it would really be nothing if things went his way, maybe this time Saga would finally come to his sense and realize the decision of marrying Tora was a mistake. That the blond would realize Tora didn't deserve someone like him. 

***

When Shou reached the front gate of the Amano's household, he immediately saw that there was a vehicle parking outside, and a familiar figure, standing beside the said vehicle, just about to entering it.

"Saga!"

Shou didn't pause before he called out to his friend, once he recognized it was Saga entering the car, obviously about to leave. Where did he plan to go in Saturday morning? Anyway Shou would make sure that he was going to find out about this.

Hearing himself being called so unexpectedly, at first Saga seemed to be totally taken aback. When he turned around and saw Shou approaching, there were both relief and puzzlement written on his face.

Finally standing before his friend, Shou took a brief moment to study the blond youth before opening a conversation. He frowned slightly at what he saw. Did Saga really look like he had been losing weight, or was it just his own eyes playing tricks on him? 

"Shou…huh…" Eventually it was Saga who spoke first, hesitation lacing his voice. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I come here to see you." Shou answered simply. "I want to talk to you."

Once again the blond looked uncertain. "But……you are not angry with me anymore?"

The way Saga said it, it sounded like he truly believed Shou would be mad with him and remaining to be so for a long time to come. Shou sighed, did his jackass reaction really frightened Saga so much, making him believe Shou would be so unforgiving toward him?

"No. Of course I'm not angry with you, Saga!" Shou burst out rather loudly, half angry with himself. "I didn't react so well after you told me…… _that_. But I wasn't angry with you and I never will! I'm sorry for how I acted that day…..." 

Saga stared at his friend for a long time, slowly taking in the apology. In the end he nodded, grateful to find Shou had shifted from the anger-filled, distant stranger he could barely recognize in the schoolyard that day back to being the best friend he had known for so long. Even though the reason why Shou would react so badly to the news of him accepting the Amano's plan, was still puzzling him a great deal, still he was now so glad to have his friend back, that Saga would not risk setting Shou off again with too many questions.

"Would you mind...telling me where are you going, Saga?"

The blond looked downward, biting his lips. It took him a full minute before he could answer. "I'm going back to school."

"What?" Shou gazed at him in debrief. "But we don't have any class today--" 

"Yes I know that." Saga looked back up, feeling more nervous than before. "I have an appointment with the head-teacher though…"

"For what?"

This time Saga gave him a sad little smile. "For my rustication, of course."

***

In the end, Shou went together with Saga to their school, riding in Mr. Amano's car, the family's driver escorted them all the way to the school.

The appointment with the head-teacher had been planned ahead; Saga's aunt, Mrs. Amano had offered to go with her nephew so they might face the school's authority together. But due to the fact that she must accompany her husband for a full body check-up the same morning, Saga had told Mrs. Amano not to worry, he would go to meet the head-teacher on his own, and explain to the head-teacher why he must apply for a rustication. The blond had taken every necessary document with him, he even penned a letter by himself to plead for his case. Soon enough the Final Exam would soon be upon them all; and according to their plan, Saga's school life would come to an end with this semester. 

He needed to talk to his head teacher first, and then……he was almost sure his application would be transform to the hands of the headmaster. Dropping out of school was something that Saga never wanted to do. But he knew that by the time when the next school year started, his state of pregnancy would become so obvious that there couldn't be any way to hide the truth from fellow students and school's authority alike. Also it didn't take too long for him to understand teenager pregnancy wasn't something that his school would accept. Unlike many other more liberal schools, his school wasn't known as being very tolerating when their students got pregnant. Saga recalled there had been rumors of girl students leaving school altogether after their untimely pregnancy, and they never returned. 

During their trip going back to school, Saga had already explained everything to Shou. It felt good to have Shou by his side and the brown head was, much to Saga's relief, being supportive. Out of concern, Shou had offered himself to go together; the blond was more than glad to accept his friend's offer. Now he felt saver, more steady with Shou sitting near him. Even since their unexpected meeting at the front gate of the Amano's household, Shou had been acting so calm, like the previous outburst was nothing, and this time there was no bewildering argument and quarrel between them. It was like things had finally gone back to normal. 

However, Saga could not help but noticing his friend was holding something back, for a couple of time Shou looked like he was going to say something to him but he always changed his mind in the last moment every single time. Saga was alarmed by Shou's unusual behavior, he also had an unconformable feeling at the pit of his stomach that even though Shou seemed to be alright around him, but something in their friendship _did_ change before he ever realized. 

Saga didn't know what it might mean, but with the upcoming appointment ahead of him, he had to put his veiled doubt about Shou aside for a moment. If Shou wanted to confront him about something, he would. 

***

It wasn't an exaggeration to say Saga's heart nearly leaped out of his throat when he was about to meet the head-teacher. 

Their head-teacher, a kind looking woman with graying hair, who was slightly older than Mrs. Amano, had received him at the appointed time, due to the consideration of privacy, Shou must wait outside of the teacher's office when Saga had his meeting with their teacher. The entire school building seemed to be much quieter than usual on a day when most students did not have class to attempt, leaving only small groups of teachers and students behind here and there to go about their own businesses. Mrs. Amano had previously sent a letter to the school's authority, appealing for a meeting in order to discuss matter which concerning her charge, Saga.

The head-teacher, Mrs. Suzuki, greeted Saga in the same friendly manner that he was familiar with. After they both had taken their seats, the head-teacher's glance fell upon Mrs. Amano's letter, then her gaze moved on toward Saga's own student record, which rested atop the teacher' desk alongside the letter. After that the woman politely expressed her puzzlement over the request for the rustication. She also explained that such request could not be fulfilled without a good reason beyond it.

anxiety welled up from Saga's brown eyes; he took a deep breath, encouraging himself to speak and explain himself; so the head-teacher could hear first hand about the dilemma he faced, before she pressed down her judgment. 

Knowing he must carry out the task, Saga looked up to the older woman, he remembered the other previous moments of true he had gone through within the matter of a few weeks, all of those confrontments had all been stressful, but so far he had survived them all, so this time……he might as well be honest with his teacher, to get things over with once and for all.

"I……have to apply for a rustication because…...I'm pregnant."

The teacher narrowed her eyes, studying Saga's face closely, once she realized her student was absolutely serious about what he had just said, the older woman sighed.

"Do you realize how inappropriate it is to get yourself pregnant when you're still an underage youngster, Mr. Sakamoto?"

Saga felt a large lump was growing within his throat. He did not want to anger the older woman, but he just didn't know how to answer her question without worsening his situation.

"Yes, I understand how foolish it's for me to---"

"Most likely it's _irresponsibility_ than foolishness. Mr. Sakamoto." The head-teacher interrupted him without a pause, shaking her head from side to side slowly. "Had you ever thought about what kind of circumstances your action would bring to your family? Had you wondered how would your action affect your own future before you did it? "

Immediately Saga's face burned hotly in shame, but there was nothing he could say to justify himself, so eventually he could only shake his head slowly, his eyes looking everywhere but the headmistress' stern face.

"Mrs. Suzuki, " He address his teacher in small but determined voice. "Please allow me to say that I had learned my lesson. I really did. I also had a long discussion with my guardians about the situation at hands. I'd do my best to take up responsibility."

The head-teacher didn't reply immediately, she leaned her upper body forward; with both elbows resting against the table she supported her head with the back of her hands. She watched the youngster thoughtfully; when she spoke again her voice had softened a little." What you'd just suggested for yourself are no easy tasks for a youngster, Mr. Sakamoto…"

She paused, glancing at the opened student record before she shifted her gaze back upon her student again. "Your impressive performance from the past suggests you are a young man with patience and determination. So I want to hear from you what you have planned to do when your own future is concerned…..."

Saga looked up meeting Mrs. Suzuki's stare; realizing it was part of her 'test', and the answer he was about to give would very much affect whether he would receive the permission or not. Silently he asked himself was he doing the right thing, had he made his choice as carefully as he thought. He had to be confident with his own decision first before he could convince other people. Instead of being kicked out, he'd rather chose to leave before that happened. Right now he needed to feel a kind of confidence that he didn't actually feel right that instant.

Taking a deep breath, the blond haired youth straightened his back, staring right into the headmistress's eyes. Yes he was still nervous as hell; his hands were still shaking, but he had to get his point across now, it was now or never.

"Mrs. Suzuki, I'm going to marry the……the father of the baby and take responsibility raising the baby. But I know having a pregnant student wandering in the school will be an embarrassment to the school, so……I seek your permission to allow me to be rusticated, I……I really need the time to settle things down and avoid bring more disturb to the school and my own family."

"Please, it's very important for me. I…want to be able to study, so I might have a chance--"

By now the head-teacher saw that Saga had already made up his mind. And the letter she had previously read before the meeting, a letter written by Saga's guardian, Mrs. Amano; had confirmed that Saga's family was being supportive with his choice. 

Mrs. Suzuki had been the head-teacher of Saga's class for the past few years, in her own opinion she knew her students well, so it was a shock to learn that a good student like Saga would run into trouble like this. She even appreciated Saga's courage of standing up to face the circumstances on his own instead of hiding behind his parents' backs like some other students would do. Mrs. Suzuki wasn't a condemning person in nature, but she believed aside from academic knowledge, it was also her duty to educate her students about the ways of life. It was fortune that Saga's family was being supportive, but she would make sure Saga at least would grip the idea that not everyone would look upon the subject matter of teenager pregnancy so forgivingly.

Finally Mrs. Suzuki straightened herself, speaking again. "If it's yours and your family's decision, then I'll go talking with the headmaster about it."

Then she stood up, walking around the table so she was now standing in front of her student. With a hand placed gently upon the youth's shoulder, Mrs. Suzuki gave her student her final decision. 

"Tell your guardians we would consider your request; be awake that we would very much need to have an appointment with them after matter had been…discussed."

Saga tensed out of nervous at her unexpected touch, but soon he relaxed when he noticed the head-teacher's display of kindness. Knowing Mrs. Suzuki had promised to do what was in her power to help him: Talking to the headmaster, to handle things quietly without making an overdramatic scene which no one would want to witness. In her own way, Mrs. Suzuki had showed her understanding and sympathy, for that Saga was grateful.

To be continued on part 14b


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignoring the obvious pleading tone in Saga's voice, Shou pressed the issue on."I've already known your uncle and aunt want you to marry him. But do you want to?"

** Chapter 14B **

 

Saga stepped out of the teacher's office, surprised by the fact that after such a stressful situation, he was still in one piece. Yes, as unlikely as it might sound, he had survived Round One. Although Mrs. Suzuki's attitude wasn't particularly warm but she had not been as harsh as he'd feared.

"Hey, Saga!"

A voice called out his name, out of the blue; Shou's voice. Automatically the blond turned to where the voice came from, only to be met with the sight of Shou standing up from a bunch nearby. Saga began walking toward his best friend. It was a relief Shou was there when his meeting with the teacher came to an end.

"Are you……alright? Suzuki didn't give you any crap, right?"

Saga frowned slightly at his friend's choice of word, not used to Shou talking like this even though he understood that the brown head was just worrying about him. But he shrugged and replied. "Don't worry. She……We had discussed things over."

This time around it was Shou's turn to frown, out of puzzlement. Placing his hand upon Saga's shoulder, Shou leaded the blond along the hallway. "Let's go. We would talk things over in somewhere else, shall we?"

Saga nodded in agreement. Though he was still confused and it made him wonder would talk things over with his friend helped him to solve out his own thoughts.

***

"So the good news is, they are not particularly going to punish you, right?" Shou asked with a sigh.

"I guess so…"Saga replied. He had just done telling his friend what had taken place between him and the head-teacher.

Unlike Shou, who was sitting, Saga was lying among the grass, placing his hands behind his head and used them like a pillow, the blond gazed at the clear blue sky between the blooming branches, wanting to clean his mind of uncertainty and worry.

They were now sitting beneath a large tree on top of a small grassy hill next to the main playground. The school's spot teams had just started their Saturday practice, so the boys had been watching team members warming up and practicing in small groups on the field while they talked to each other quietly. 

Right now Saga actually felt a lot more relaxed than he had been in a very long time. He had taken matter into his own hands and done what he could; now there seemed to be nothing more he could do. Even though having done dealing with the head-teacher would not end all of his troubles.

But the moment of peace didn't last long, as the silence hovering above the two youngsters stretched wider; Saga could not shrug off the feeling that Shou was holding something back from him, something which had been left unsaid. Things had been……out of place even since the day of their argument in the school's backyard, and up to this point Saga still didn't know what was the matter with his best friend. The blond could see from the corner of his eyes that the brown head was looking down at him, as if he had something more to say, but was uncertain how to say it. Confused, Saga turned his head to Shou's direction but much to his disappointment instead of telling him what was in his mind; Shou quickly looked away avoiding his questioning stare.

The blond was about to give up when he heard Shou whispering.

" It's not over yet, isn't it?" Shou's voice was not loud, but the sentence came out more like a statement than anything else.

"Huh?" Saga sat up, turned to his friend and found that the latter was doing just the same, Shou's words made him feeling even more confused than before.

"Saga…I mean…are you really going to marry _him_?"

Saga's eyes widened, for a moment he didn't know how to response. Awkwardness once more started to bubble up. He knew what Shou was asking, and it felt like things had gone in full circle. For an entire morning Shou had been so calm and supportive, it made Saga forget what had taken place at the backyard that day. And much to his worry, he knew Shou was bringing the issue up again. He didn't like it, didn't want Shou to mention his marriage arrangement at all, but right now it felt like there's no avoiding the subject.

However, Saga couldn't resist trying to delay the confrontment even for a little longer. So he sighed, waving his hand a little before replying, his voice almost pleading. "Shou…can we not talk about it now?"

Ignoring the obvious pleading tone in Saga's voice, Shou pressed the issue on."I've already known your uncle and aunt want you to marry him. But do you want to?"

"I……I…"

Being caught off guard, Saga fell into silence. For a few times his mouth opened but then closed again without him uttering a single coherent sentence. As disturbing as it was, he didn't have any answer to Shou's question. 

So eventually the blond looked away, suddenly he had no idea how to face his friend, his reply was an ambiguous one. "I…I don't know."

Saga's answer made Shou frown, then what he did next once again caught the blond haired youth off guard. Instead of speaking Shou reached his arms out to place them on Saga's shoulders, turning the latter so they were now facing each other.

"I know you think you have no say in it. You think you have to please your uncle and aunt……" Not waiting for Saga to snap out of his puzzled state, Shou spoke on, as he gently brushed a lock of blond hair away from Saga's forehead with light fingers. 

Was Shou speaking the very truth? Did he agree to do this only to please his beloved guardians? Saga's heart was throbbing in his chest. He wanted to say something in return, but with Shou gazing at him so intensively, without any trace of the brown head's usually casualness; nothing came up from his mind.

"But what if you actually have a choice? Will you still choose to go through it?"

This time Saga felt like his heart was going to leap out from his throat. He couldn't understand why Shou was saying such thing now; suggesting that he had a choice to make after all of Saga's attempts to convince himself marriage was the right thing to do.

"W—wait! What do you mean?" Not only that Saga was by now utterly confused, a sense of insecurity was once more creeping into his heart. Out of instinct he could tell whatever Shou was about to say, he probably wasn't going to like it.

In the next second, Shou turned his eyes away, he paused as if to claim himself, before he spoke again."There's something I'd wanted to tell you…for a while."

"Then what's it?" Saga demanded quickly, the suspense was too much for him.

Stilling holding Saga by his shoulders, the brown head focused his eyes on his blond haired friend, looking deeply into Saga's chocolate brown eyes before uttering what had been buried in his mind for far too long.

"I love you, Saga."

"…What?" Saga let out a gasp before he could reply verbally. His mind seemed to go totally blank for a second before all thoughts came crushing in together into a hopeless mess. In the haze of the chaotic confusion, Saga only had one coherent thought ringing in his mind: Did Shou mean he loved him, as a close friend?

As if hearing his thought, Shou shook his head with a sigh, before clarifying his statement. "It's not that. I'm _in love_ with you, Saga."

The moment those words slipped from Shou's lips, Saga felt his body frozen over as realization kicked in fully.

Shou looked sadly down at his friend---the friend whom he had just confessed to, hoping desperately for the blond to make some response. Shou might be taking their relationship to the next level, or he might be ruining the said relationship right at this moment, and so far he wasn't sure which direction they were heading toward. All he knew was that there was no backing off, no easy escape for neither of them from here onward. 

To be continued.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly before Shou could even finish, Saga stood up with his hands balled into fists. He looked down at the stunned Shou with sadness and frustration in his eyes; hissing. "It is too late already!"

** Chapter 14C **

 

Saga wished Shou would just shrug in the next second and, with a mischievous smile, tell him he was only joking. But on the other hand Saga had known the brown head long enough that he knew Shou would not joke about such thing, not about his own feeling.

It looked like everyone wanted to give him as much shock as possible these days, first Nao and the Amanos, now Shou. If Saga didn't know the brown haired youth well enough to tell there was no way for Shou to joke about things like these; he would have thought the brown head was messing with him on purpose.

It was all very messed up and confusing, as if his life hadn't been complicated enough already. Why must this be happening to him? Saga thought bitterly, biting back a groan of frustration.

There was an awkward pause between them. Although Saga was by no mean a dull person, but none of his past experiences and learning could tell him how he should react when his closest friend came forward and confessing his affection to him, out of the blue.

All the blond could do was to turn his face away from Shou, he could feel heat creeping up to his cheeks as he whispered in a fainted, small voice. "Shou, I...You.....I don't know what to say---"

Saga's awkward response was enough to let Shou realize that the blond still hadn't gripped the meaning of his words yet. But now Shou wasn't going to back down, he had waited so long, suppressing himself and his true feeling for far too long. He knew if he were to claim the pretty blond teen as his, then he couldn't afford time for Saga to hesitate.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't know what to say. Shou picked up Saga's unfinished sentence, he tried his best to keep his tone causal, hoping to avoid making Saga any more nervous than he had already been. "But I'd be glad if you'd allow me to finish what I've to say to you."

If Saga wasn't so nervous, he would have noticed the trembling of the brown head's voice.

Despite the embarrassment, Shou's words made the blond looked back carefully to meet his friend's stare. Never before did Saga know meeting Shou's eyes would be so difficult when the latter was gazing at him with unfamiliar intensive emotions glowing in those brown eyes. Damn, it felt awkward as hell by simply sit beside Shou. He didn't even know how to keep, how close or how far, the distance between them.

There were a few times in the past Saga had manged to catch Shou watching him with unreadable expression, in those rare, brief moments the blond always felt confused and disturbed, as if Shou had suddenly somehow turned into someone else whom he hardly recognized. However, usually Shou would quickly snapped out of this strange mood soon afterward and shifted back to the best friend Saga had known for years, therefore the blond didn't feel it was necessary for him to ask--especially when Shou never brought up what was in his mind first. Now it seemed like he had finally gotten to the bottom of the mystery.

But Shou had at least offered to explain. Beside the awful awkwardness of finding your best friend having special feeling toward yourself aside, Saga couldn't suppress his curiosity to hear what Shou was about to reveal.

"...Then tell me, from the very start." Eventually Saga managed to murmur. "I think it's the least I should know."

This time it was Shou who hesitated under Saga's watchful, waiting gaze; still the brown haired youth began to explain.

"It's nothing dramatic or tear-jerking, I afraid......" He let out a nervous half-smile, before continuing. "I mean, we had known each other for so long. And you're such a nice person with the most caring heart I've ever seen, always putting other people's needs before your own. I...I guess a lot of people had already praised you for how pretty you are, Saga. But to me it's your beautiful heart that makes you outshine the others."

The more Shou said, the more Saga could feel his cheeks heating up hotly when hearing the brown head's words of praising. He knew fully well that Shou was by no mean flirting with him; Saga knew his friend wouldn't say nice things just to please other people, what he had said must be coming from the bottom of his heart, which meant in his eyes Saga really was that good, that pure; which the blond didn't particularly feel he deserved such praises, such genuine adoration. 

Unable to meet Shou's honest, open gaze, Saga avtered his eyes elsewhere with uneasiness. If there was a person who really deserved such praises, it should be Shou, not him. Shou was too good a person to a point that he had overlooked Saga's flaws, all the petty and selfish thoughts in his mind......

Without noticing Saga's discomfort, Shou continued. Even though he had been sitting, his breath was getting heavier due to the growing intensiveness he'd tried to express with his words. If he didn't empty the heavy burden of emotions off his chest, he felt like he would just burst off.

"I don't know when I started feeling this way, feeling more than friendship for you. But once I started, I know I don't want to go back. That I couldn't help---"

Suddenly before Shou could even finish, Saga stood up with his hands balled into fists. He looked down at the stunned Shou with sadness and frustration in his eyes; hissing. "It is too late already!"

Although Saga knew he shouldn't get angry with Shou only because the latter had confessed to him. But he couldn't understand why Shou chose to come clean now only when it was already too late, when he could have chosen to do so many times before. it made him so confused that he felt lost, and with that haze of confusion, a flash of anger was set off.

"What good would it do you're telling me all these now, Shou? It wouldn't change anything---"

"Why must you say thing like it's of no use? What would you say if I tell you I want to _marry_ you?" Shou was standing up now, argued back just as fierily as Saga did.

Both of them were standing, facing each other now and Saga thought his eyes couldn't grow any wider as he heard those words. If his ears had been serving him right, then he had just heard Shou, his best friend _proposed_ to him, in the schoolyard nonetheless.

It was nice to hear someone loved you to a point that he was willing to marry you despite of the fact you were having another guy's baby. But all of these sounded a bit too good to be true.

"No..." Saga shook his head half in puzzlement, half in denial. His heart racing madly within his ribcage with emotions which he couldn't even start to identify. "You...it can't be serious..."

Unconsciously the blond started to back away, but Shou wouldn't let him. Firmly but not forcefully, Shou stopped The blond's movement by putting both his hands on his shoulders again, gently guiding Saga back to face him.

The brown haired teen looked straight into his friend's eyes as he asked. "Are you saying 'No' to reject me, or that you haven't found an answer yet?"

"......"

Again Saga was at loss of words, he didn't want to hurt Shou; but the latter's confession had just shattered the very foundation of their friendship, although he knew Shou didn't do this on purpose; still it would be a lie to say nothing was to change between them. Instead the blond could sense clearly of how things were changing at this very moment even though he desperately wanted things between himself and Shou to remain _unchanged_. Plus Shou's presence, his closeness made it difficult to make a proper reply.

With a sigh Shou let go of the Saga's shoulders, his hands shifting to softly take hold of the latter's wrists, drawing him closer to himself.

"I won't expect you to return my...feeling right away, Saga."

With his eyes downcast, Saga could hear Shou whispering into his ear. He wanted the brown head to stop, but he lacked the will power nor the strength to push the other boy away.

"But I know you aren't totally indifferent either, right?"

With his head remained downcast, Saga's eyes widened at the sudden statement, his heart skipping a beat.

"Or else you wouldn't be unable to even look me in the eyes......"

_That_ caused Saga to look up, finally meeting Shou's gaze only to find the latter's face merely inches away from his own. Both of them literally sharing breath with their face so very close.

For a brief moment Shou was as dumbfound as Saga was, but in the next second the color of his orbs seemed to deepen and there was a determined look there as if the brown head had somehow made up his mind.

"Please let me......"

With a fainted request, Shou simply leaned in to kiss Saga. Unable to response, unable to move even a muscle, Saga was too caught up with the situation to neither reject or accept Shou's bold action.

 

Their lips were about to brush with one another when Saga felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind and rapidly teared him away from Shou's grip.

Saga felt his back hitting upon the lithe form behind him, his body stirred before he tried to wrest away from the person who held him so firmly but the person behind him only chuckled and tightened his grip warningly.

And the blond recognized the sound of the playful yet mocking chuckle, and all of his movement came to a halt instantly. It was no other than Tora's. He wouldn't mistake the raven head's trademark laughter for another, he didn't even need to look back to know who was holding him now.

Instead Saga watched as shock and annoyance dawning upon Shou's face, then the emotions were quickly replaced by one of pure fury. 

"Let. Go. Of. Him." Shou snapped in a low, chilling voice which Saga had never heard before, although the brown head wasn't shouting or even raising his voice, still the icy tone he was using now would be enough to send most people fleeing for the sake of their own safety.

But unluckily for Shou, Tora wasn't just 'most people'.

"Why must I do as you'd commanded?"

The raven haired teen now smirked openly at the raging Shou, but instead of releasing the prized little captive in his arms, he pressed Saga's frame even closer to himself; his hands began to rub across Saga's clad stomach slowly, in a way that would make any passerby girl blush hotly.

Tora's teasing only seemed to enrage Shou even more. When the brown haired student spoke again it came out as an angry hiss. "...You! Get your hands off him already---"

"I can't see what's so wrong about me hugging my _fiancé_ here." Tora cut off his rival's ranting coolly without a care,

Saga's heart jumped almost painfully against the cages of his rib when he heard Tora speaking right next to his ear, referring him as _his fiancé_ in such smug tone. The raven haired youth had never done this before, never ever clarified where they stood with one another in any manner even since the establishment of their engagement; therefore it was a pure shock to hear the very word being uttered, out in the open.

But the blond didn't have time to think any further once he heard Tora continued his speech. "Aren't you the one who should keep your hand away from other people's property, huh?"

Then the raven head did the unthinkable. Before Saga could react to any of these, the taller one cupped his chin and directed the dumbfound blond's face toward his own, before kissing him fully, lingeringly on the lips like no one else was there.

But in a realistic sense, the two of them were far from being alone, not only Shou was right in front of them, ready to do murder when it came to a certain Amano, plus there were also plenty of bystanders nearby--most of them members of the spot teams, all of them watched on with puzzlement and/or amusement as if they were watching a scene from some pinky shojo manga based anime.

When the one-sided kiss finally came to an end, Tora looked up victoriously to meet Shou's murderous gaze and calmly lashed out the final blow.

"He's mine. Deal with it, Kohara."

To be continued.

I'd been listening to the oad music from Sekai ichi Hatsukoi anime series when writing this chapter, it seriously put me in the mood for fuzzy highschool romance!! ARGHHH why does everything about that anime series has to be so damn awesome and lovable!? If you're insterested, you can listen to the music here! Link 1: youtu.be/CM1PEe1Xcus Link 2: youtu.be/sTe2QMU_c2U


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During his mental struggle with his own thoughts, Saga failed to notice Tora's hands snaked around his own wrists and grip them in a firm hold. When The blond finally managed to snap out of the trance, it was too late to free himself.

** Chapter 15 **

 

Saga looked back at the raven haired teen behind him in utter shock. Just mere seconds before he had been gripped, hugged and kissed by the said raven head in public, by a guy who had made it more than clear that he didn't want to have anything to do with him, someone who had always ignored him on purpose.

So why would Tora be doing and saying such outrageous things right now? Acted like he cared, treating Saga as if he was one of Tora's little girlfriends, making a show of kissing him _passionately_ in the schoolyard, right in front of Shou, of all people? What was he up to? Was he out of his damn mind?

Then in his panic-stricken state of mind, the realization of what had just taken place and the awfulness of the situation hit Saga with its full force.

1\. Shou confessed to him out of the blue.

2\. They came so, so very close to kissing each other in the heat of the moment.

3\. Then Tora appeared out of nowhere, pulling him away from Shou like he was some rag doll.

4\. And his brat of a cousin just would not let go of him.

5\. Again out of the blue, Tora had claimed him as his own in such a possessive manner, acting like a jealous boyfriend.

6\. The next thing he knew he was being kissed, in the same possessive manner, by the raven head instead.

All of the above were being done in board daylight, in the schoolyard, where students came and went freely, many of them had already stopped their previous activities and were now looking at their direction, enjoying a free show of, what appeared to them, a teenagers' love triangle drama. And what a scene they had already made for the others' viewing pleasure and their gossiping mouths!

but there was more than what was on the surface. Saga of all people knew that Tora had no reason to be truthfully feeling possessive of him, or being jealous of his relationship with Shou---regardless of whatever relationship that it was in its current state. So Tora's suspicious behavior could only mean that the raven head was up to something. He was most likely using Saga to achieve his own end, one way or the other; on the expand of making a show in front of a bunch of bystanders no less.

Saga's head began to spin as the thought kicked in.

That was just too much! Whatever Tora was aid at, for whatever reason he was acting so aggressively toward Shou, still there was one thing that the blond could be certain of, it was that he wanted absolutely no part in whatever trick Tora was hiding up his sleeve. .

feeling furious and embarrassed, the blond gripped Tora's arms with his both hands, pushing at them with all he might in order to free himself from the taller boy's embrace.Not expecting the resistance from the shorter blond, Tora stumbled backward, his arms loosed. Seizing the chance, Saga quickly waltzed out of those arms.

With the echo of Tora's voice still hanging heavily above them, no one said a word during the long pause which took place afterward, as though all the three of them were uncertain of what should be said next. But it didn't mean they were unwilling to say, or do things. Tora and Shou looked like they were about to go at each other's throat again. On the other hand, Saga's eyes lingered from his best friend and his older cousin while the other two engaging themselves in a silence war of trying to burn holes through the other's body by using their hate-filled gazes. The scene might look comical and humorous if Saga wasn't the person who was trapped here in between, unable to decide what to do next.

Part of him wanted to grip Shou's arm and ran away together from the embarrassing situation, away from bystanders' peering eyes; so he needed not to face Tora after the latter had said such outragous things to them. But the other part of him was afraid yet filled with agitation as the blond could feel fury welling up like a full pot of steamy hot water from within himself. He was angry that Tora had so rudely interrupted his conversation with Shou, he was angry with Tora for the latter had made untrue reference on their relationship, self-righteously claiming ownership over his person. It had to be stopped, any civilized enough person would not do those things to another person! The blond wanted Tora to stop doing this right now. He had to make him stop.

The anger was making him bold, so before anyone could react, Saga moved forward, dragging Tora by his elbow, and together they walked very quickly away from the schoolyard.

Taken aback by Saga's sudden action, Tora offered no resistance as he being dragged along by a surprising determined Saga. Even though the blond youth felt guilty for leaving Shou behind all confused and alone, but he didn't dare to look back at his friend, nor did he slow down his pace. Everything had to be done quickly now, he wanted to find a quiet place to discuss matter with Tora once and for all, he wanted the process to be as quick as possible in order to shorten the time he had to spend in Tora's company.

And as regretful as it was, the said discussion could not take place in front of Shou, or else it would blow his cover. This time Saga must keep his best friend out of the picture, for whatever he and Tora were about to mention in their argument, it wasn't for Shou's ears; it left Saga no other choice.

Finally they arrived at the corner of the school's building, near the back gate of the school. Tora was once more taken aback as he was shoved against the wall by a very furious Saga. 

"What's wrong with you!?" The blond student snapped sharply. " Why did you say those things to Shou?"

"What's the matter? I was only telling him what he needs to know---" Tora replied calmly, winking at the dull pain on his upper back caused by the impact of Saga's surprisingly forceful shove.

"Are you out of your mind? There's no reason for you to say what you'd said in front of Shou!" Being further frustrated by Tora's cocky attitude, Saga made a counter-attack quickly.

"He _touched_ you." Tora didn't waste time to cut in. "So I have every right to tell him to put his hands away from other people's property."

"I. AM. Not. Yours!" Staring at the taller man in disbelief, Saga hissed.

"Why not?" Tora shrugged causally even when his blond cousin's eyes were throwing daggers at him, meeting the blond's gaze with a smile so filled with confidence that Saga would like to rip that smile off Tora's face. "And what makes you think you _aren't_?"

"It's not part of our agreement!" Saga shouted. 

"Why and how it is not?" Tora snapped back without a pause. " For Hell's sake you and I are _getting married_ , just the way you want it, mind you! I've agreed to do this and so did you! You're not supposed to flirt with other guys!"

The fury in Tora's voice stunned Saga into silence. He had to admit Tora was not entirely wrong: in fact they really were engaged, even with their family's blissing on top of it all; but according to their original bargain, the engagement was supposed to be for appearance's sake only! It didn't......didn't mean Tora could stick his nose in what wasn't his business, right? Or could he?

When Saga realized he really had no idea how far and wide their bargain was supposed to cover, where the line should be drawn; they had never ever discussed things over before, it was when the blond youth felt panic seeping in. An arrangement was an arrangement so it was difficult to start complaining about it now. Too bad that Saga hadn't thought carefully enough to realize what his arrangement might _really_. entitled when he took that one important step.

During his mental struggle with his own thoughts, Saga failed to notice Tora's hands snaked around his own wrists and grip them in a firm hold. When The blond finally managed to snap out of the trance, it was too late to free himself.

Saga's feeble attempt to break free only made the raven head tightened his grasp.

"You aren't running away from me, nor will you be going near _him_ again any time soon......" Tora commanded with a flat voice.

His inability to pull himself free only fueled Saga's desperate utter to get free from the taller youth. Now he began to realize all of Tora's actions were aided at one thing: to get back at him for the engagement Tora didn't want. The interruption, the kiss, the fight Tora had picked up with Shou... These were all for show and for making Saga pay, it was nothing more than this to Tora.

"Just stop it! Whatever you're up to, don't touch me like this again!" Once the realization sank in, Saga struggled even harder under his cousin's grip.

"Like what?" Without loosening his grasp, Tora snapped back with mockery clear in his tone. "If my memory still serves me right, we had already done much more than what we just did today..."

Saga's eyes widened as embarrassment burned through his being, never could he imagine Tora referring their affair so boldly, unashamedly as if the reminder of what they had done didn't bother him at all..

"Stop--Stop changing the topic!" After a long moment of struggling to form words through his clenching teeth, Saga mentioned to protest once more, but his voice sounded all wrong, unsteady. " I said 'Don't touch me' and I'll say it once again here--"

"Why shouldn't I?" The raven head spoke very slowly, stretching his words. " Because you'd rather have Kohara doing that to you?"

Despite his anger, Saga didn't have any answer for that; all he could do was to stare up at the raven head in disbelief, too agitated to even utter his outrage. Using their fake engagement against him was bad enough, now Tora even had the gut to refer Shou. That was totally outrageous!

Acting out of impulse, Saga pulled one of his wrists out of Tora's grip, then without thinking he drew his freed arm back, ready to slap the taller boy like he did during the family's meeting. But unluckily to Saga, this time Tora was ready for his attack, so the outreaching hand was instead quickly captured once again before he could hit the raven head. Tora's eyes hardened and for a moment Saga almost thought the raven head was going to do something cruel to him, but what Tora did next shatter him even more.

Ignoring Saga's protest, Tora pulled the shorter boy toward himself and kissed him again.

Instantly Saga wanted to push back, but the hand which took hold of his nape and the arm locked around his waist had effectively kept him still. The blond's fists beat against Tora's chests repeatedly, but it did nothing to stop the raven head's action.

At first Saga closed his lips tight together, refusing to let Tora's playful tongue in, but it all changed when the taller boy skillfully slipped his fingers below Saga's waistband and squeezed the sensitive flesh above his hips purposefully, knowing it was one of Saga's weak spots.

The shock made Saga gasp, his mouth opened just slightly but Tora seized the chance anywhere and quickly deepened the kiss, tongue worming in to further the invasion. The raven head sensed the thin form in his embrace started to relax despite of the protests, now Saga's hands were merely placed on his chests, fingers clawing blindly at the other's shirt as if the blond lacked the strength to keep trying to push him away.

Saga felt lightheaded under the onslaught of Tora's lips. It became difficult to think, he could feel his strength seeped from his limbs like sand through an hourglass. The unwanted touches from the raven head and the closeness of their bodies had started bringing feelings Saga desperately tried to forget back to the surface. 

His lungs felt ready to explode when Tora finally drew back, Saga's eyes snapped open right away--he didn't even know since when his eyes had been shut, he was startled by how close Tora's face was, the closeness and the intensity in the other's orbs made Saga's cheeks flushing anew with shapes of crimson. Desperately the blond averted his eyes downward to avoid Tora's stare, but when he looked down he suddenly felt a strong wave of dizziness washing through him, then everything before him turned dark.

to be continued.

I hope it's still an interesting chapter...


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the last thought took shape, Saga suddenly wasn't sure what to do anymore, but before he could retreat, as if sensing his presence, Tora's head turned and once more their eyes locked, leaving no chance for Saga to hide.

** Chapter 16 **

 

The first thing that crossed Tora's mind when he saw Saga collapse was, _"I can't be that good of a kisser, can I?"_

However, his reflex was luckily quite good as he caught Saga's body, effectively preventing him from touching the ground. Kneeling, Tora shook Saga's body, which was now in his arms.

"Oi! Get a hold of yourself! "

Saga remained motionless, though. Tora's eyebrows knitted together. _Gees. I guess I have no choice but to take him to the infirmary._

With one swift movement, Tora managed to carry Saga bridal style. He proceeded to return to the school building, passing the schoolyard again and gaining stares from other students. They seemed to be wondering why on earth Tora would carry Saga, and why Saga was unconscious in the first place. _Great. Now they probably think that I've done harm to him_ , Tora thought. Then, Tora noticed that Shou wasn't in the schoolyard anymore, and it rather lightened his mood a bit. _But who cares? The hell with their unimportant opinions. Only I know that I didn't do any harm to him and that's that_ , Tora continued musing during his walk to the infirmary. He was reaching the staircase when suddenly, another thought crossed his mind.

_The unborn infant..._

Tora wondered if it was the cause of Saga's sudden collapse. He bit his lower lip, for unknown reason, feeling slightly worried about Saga's well-being, as well as the unborn infant inside Saga's tummy. _His own child_. He shook his head, attempting to get rid of the fact that he was actually starting to believe that it was his child, which Saga was expecting. Tora's cheek stung, a reminder of what Saga had done to him the last time he accused his cousin for having slept with another man, instead of him. Tora knew better not to anger Saga anymore; to a point, he would gladly land his fist on Tora's prominent nose. The shorter boy could be quite scary when he wanted to.

Next thing Tora knew, he was already standing in front of the school infirmary door. He stared at the door for a few seconds, trying to figure out how he should open it. Then, he decided to use his shoulder to slide the door open, muttering his greetings to the school doctor—who, as unlikely as it might sound, is a cross dresser. A faint voice answered him, but loud enough to let Tora know that he had been allowed to enter in. _As if he wouldn't enter if he weren't allowed_.

"Sensei, I bring an unconscious student here," informed Tora nonchalantly. A camouflage, of course. He knew damn well how worried he had been about Saga's condition just minutes ago. He was just too proud to admit it.

"What happened to him? You may lay him down on the bed, boy," added the doctor.

Tora didn't know what to answer, but he laid Saga down on the bed, nonetheless. He turned to the doctor, ready to tell him a lie.

"He just collapsed. Probably because it's too hot outside," explained Tora shortly. _Not entirely a lie_ , Tora thought.

The doctor approached the bed to examine Saga. Tora preferred to back off, making his way towards the windows.

"Nothing serious happened to him. That's good. You shouldn't be worried anymore," said the brown haired doctor after a while.

_Like I would._

Tora had allowed himself to sit on the windowsill, letting the fresh air blow into the room. He felt more relaxed, though he really shouldn't be, knowing that his fiancé collapsed because of him. _Partially_.

"You may leave. He'll be all right here," said the doctor again.

"I want to stay," Tora blurted out without thinking. He had no idea what possessed him until he could state that he wanted to stay in the infirmary. With Saga, on top of that.

However, the doctor mistook Tora's facial expression as concern. He nodded and proceeded towards the door.

"I have to leave for a while. I think it'll be fine to let you stay here. I won't take long," the doctor smiled, opening the door and then left after he closed it again.

Tora sighed. Whatever spirit possessed him, which made him stuck with Saga in the same room must take a responsibility. Subconsciously though, Tora brought his feet towards Saga's bed. His gaze lowered to the sleeping form before him. It might have been weeks since the last time he saw Saga sleeping _that_ peacefully. Then, an event from that night replayed in his mind. He could still remember how he had made Saga succumb into submission, writhing underneath his larger body, and moaning his name in pleasure. The sex had felt so great, it overwhelmed him that doing it with his cousin could give him such amazing pleasure he had never experienced before. Tora shook his head, denying the fact that he was thinking of his cousin and their affair. However, he averted his gaze to Saga again. He extended his arm, placing his palm on Saga's forehead. He couldn't ignore the urge to caress the blond's hair. Saga didn't move. It only encouraged Tora to lift his other arm and place the palm on Saga's hands that were resting on his tummy. It struck him that even in his unconscious state; Saga still seemed to be protecting his child. Tora lowered his head down, his fringe covering his eyes.

"What have I done?" whispered Tora to himself.

Tora pulled the thin sheet up to Saga's collar, but then he took both of his hands back, taking a few steps backward. He decided he couldn't stay near Saga for long. Nevertheless, he wasn't planning to leave the shorter boy alone. He was going to stay in the infirmary as he had stated earlier. He returned to the windowsill, sitting on it again. He needed a break. He needed to relax. He needed to clear his mind. He realised what kind of future he would be having. Despite what people said about him being so annoyingly indifferent, Tora realised he had two souls he should care about now. Yes, _two_.

****

 

_He stood in front of the full length mirror hanging on the wall, gazing at his own reflection a little nervously. He looked up and down, in the mirror he saw that his blond hair was neatly combed, he was wearing a crimson colored shirt, with an wristband of the same color wrapping around his wrist; his outfit was completed by a pair of black jean and a pair of dark running shoes. Then the blond turned around and made his way out of the changing room._

_Saga wasn't a person who always paid a lot of attention to his outfits, but this time he couldn't help but spending much longer a time to decide what he was going to wear before he went out. After all, he was going to Miyavi's birthday party tonight. Miyavi, being a famous and well-adored senpai that he was, used to throw spectacular, sometime rather.. unpredictable parties. Therefore being invited to the older man's birthday party wasn't something to be dealt with negligently. Preparation was important, for better or for worse._

_On the other hand, Miyavi senpai, who had graduated from their school in the last year, was also a person who enjoyed giving surprises and mischiefs; as a result all of the details about his 20 years old birthday party was being kept from his guests. There was no way for them to know what to expect in the party. The party in question could be a formal ball or a causal celebration among friends, and everything in between. In turn it made it rather difficult for the guests--Saga among them, to decide what to wear to the party. Plus the untrammeled dress-code that stated: "Dress however you like!" in the invitation card he'd received, really wasn't helping at all._

_Eventually Saga decided to go with his usual style: Simple shirt and jean with a few pieces of ornamental here and there. Decent-looking but nothing too showy. The blond thought that it would be enough to help him to face whatever situation might turn up._

_Saga smoothed the front of his shirt for the last time as he made his way downstairs, making sure that nothing was out of place. When he reached the living room, his aunt informed him that his schoolmate, Teru had just arrived and was waiting outside._

_Not wanting to make his friend wait, the blond hurried his way to the front gate and greeted the other student. Teru, sitting at the passenger seat of his older brother's car. The other student grinned brightly when he saw Saga approaching, then the light blue haired teen waved, signaling to his friend to get in. "Saga, here you are! Come on in!"_

_Usually Saga would go out with Shou when they were invited to outings like this, then they would join with other friends together; but tonight Shou and his parents were away attempting a wedding of a relative; therefore Saga had to take a ride with one of his other friends: Teru._

_Then blond teenager gladly got himself into the backseat. Soon enough Teru's older brother, Yuki started the engine and the three of them hit the road._

_Teru and his sibling were both dressed in dramatic outfits that made them looked like noblemen from the 18th century. If it was somebody else dressing like the way they did, it might be an overdress. But to Teru and Yuki, their complicated outfits only added to the grandeur aura surrounding the siblings._

_The three of them chatted causally on the way to Miyavi's home, all were excited to start the adventure as soon as they could. So it caught Saga off guard when Yuki suddenly asked an unexpected question, all out of the blue._

_"Hey, Sakamoto san...I just wonder...Is that Amano kid your cousin?"_

_Guessing the 'Amano kid' Yuki had mentioned was an reference to Tora, Saga could only nodded in acknowledgement, although he didn't know why would Yuki ask him that all of a sudden._

_"So...I heard that you are living with the Amano family, right?"_

_"Yes..." Feeling puzzled, Saga answered briefly, not knowing where these questions might lean to. Though Yuki had asked in such a causual manner, maybe he was just curious?_

_"Then why isn't that Amano kid going to the party with you? Since you and him basically live in the same place..." Yuki asked once again thoughtfully, frowning a little._

_"Hey...now you mentioned it...Where's Tora anyway?" Teru interrupted before Saga could reply. He sat up kneeling on his own seat, turning himself back to face the blond fully, his eyes glittering with curiosity. " Is he going to the party as well?"_

_Saga could only smiled, half in apology and half in embarrassment, in response. "I...don't know."_

_He was telling the truth, even though both him and Tora were invited to Miyavi's party, not once did the raven head bring up the suggestion attempting the party together. Tora also left early this day and disappeared to God know where. Therefore Saga had no idea when would Tora show up, or whom might the raven head bring with him to the party._

_Luckily neither Yuki nor Teru had the time to press on the subject any further, shortly afterward Yuki's car parked along the driveway before the building of Miyavi's apartment, which located in a high-end part of the city._

_By the time of their arrival, a few others, who obviously also invited guests, were making their way through the space hall beyond the entrance of the building, walking straight toward the elevator. Saga and his friends followed them._

_Saga was the last one to enter the elevator. Once the doors were closed, the passenagers were quickly on their way up to the top floor---where Miyavi's apartment stood overlooking the city. He saw Teru winking at him, and Saga could not resist giving the light blue haired teen a playful smile in response._

_Just relax and enjoy the night..._

_It was the last thought crossing Saga's mind before the elevator's doors opened as it finally reached Miyavi's floor._

 

***

When Saga woke up from the dream that remained him of the night of Miyavi's party, he found himself staring at the spotless white ceiling of the school's infirmary. Throughout his school life he had only been to the infirmary room for a few times, but it wasn't difficult to recognize the surrounding , even before he opened his eyes, he had already smelled the familiar scent of medicine in the air. He could sense that he was lying on top of the infirmary's narrow bed, with a thin sheet covering him up to his collar. The blond tried hard to listen to any sound made by the infirmary's doctor but he had heard none. So he was alone it seemed. There was a long curtain made of white cotton surrounding the bed, blocking his view to the rest of the room.

In this quiet surrounding there was nothing to disturb Saga from cleaning his own thought. Memories seeped back in slowly, it took him a few minutes for everything which had previously happened to sink in. Now Saga could recall the unexpected confession from Shou, then the crush-in with Tora, the surprise-attack which was Tora's demanding kiss--- then the train of his memory just...kind of suffered a black out. Did he faint? Or was it something more sinister than this?

Instantly his thought flied to the infant within him as the panic kicked right in, his hands moved under the cover at once, reaching around his abdomen nervously for any hint of abnormality, any sign of discomfort, hint of bleeding or suspicious wetness on his lower region. None was found. Despite the dizziness in his head and the weakness of his limbs, he felt......normal, at least as normal as a pregnant teenager boy could feel.

With a small sigh of relief, Saga fell back to the pillow below him. Resting both his palms on his slightly bulged tummy, he slowly began to draw patterns across his stomach with his fingertips. He knew it was still too early for him to be able to actually sense the baby, but at least when he laid here listening to his own heartbeat pulsing steadily, along with the rhythm of his own breath, then he could be more confident about keeping his baby safe. He would not allow any harm to befall this precious new life.

For how long he had remained lying there resting, Saga couldn't tell. He had expected the school's doctor to open the infirmary's door and walk in within any second, but he had heard no sound of door opening nor any footstep. After stretching his limbs one by one to make sure they were still in working order, the blond began to climb out of the bed very slowly.

His toes touched lightly upon the floor as he sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for a moment to get his bearing. He looked down only to find his shoes were placed next to the bed. Slipping them back on, Saga slowly stood himself up. Then with his palm pressed on the wall next to him, Saga moved toward where the curtain was, then reaching up a hand the blond teen brushed the curtain aside in order to part the layers of cloth blocking his view to the outside.

The blond decided to peer out in order to check his surrounding before leaving the bedside. And what he saw immediately locked the breathe out of him. Much to his shock, he found Tora was right there, sitting by the widow just opposite of where Saga was standing, with one of his legs resting on the windowsill, staring out at the schoolyard outside. There was a worn baseball in his hand, and Tora was toying with the baseball in an absent minded manner, without looking at the object. Instead the raven haired teen sat there with his face turned toward the window, showing no sign of acknowledgement to Saga's presence.

For a moment the blond was confused, he didn't understand why his second cousin was here. It took a while for the detail of their previous crush-in to resurface fully. And the memory only filled the blond with even more confusion and awkwardness. Tora was there when he fainted, so did it mean the raven head had also taken him here?

As the last thought took shape, Saga suddenly wasn't sure what to do anymore, but before he could retreat, as if sensing his presence, Tora's head turned and once more their eyes locked, leaving no chance for Saga to hide.

Neither of them knew what to say at the moment, awkward silence hanged heavily above them. There were many things in Saga's mind which he desperately needed to voice out, but when Tora was right there in front of him, his voice just would not come.

Eventually Tora slipped off from the windowsill, getting back to the ground. For a moment Saga thought the older boy was about to say something, but whatever Tora might plan to say, it was interrupted by the sound of the infirmary's door opening.

Both boys turned their heads toward where the sound had came from. Just in time to see the school doctor walked in.

The doctor paused for a few seconds at the entrance, looking from one teen to another with veiled curiosity. You could almost see a huge comical _"Oh dear, did I interrupt something!?"_ sign hanging above his head.

But in the next second, the tall young doctor sprung into action at once, he turned toward Saga, matching to the blond youth quickly, forcing Saga to take a step back. The effeminate doctor didn't just stop here, instead he matched on until Saga ended up backing to the bedside again.

"Why are you getting out of bed so soon? It's not necessary, you know that right? After all you'd just fainted!" The school doctor, an effeminate looking, cross dressing handsome man in his twenty whom was known to the students as 'Yuu', frowned down at Saga as he guided the latter to sit back on the infirmary's bed.

"But..I---"

Saga meant to tell the nurse he was okay now, but Yuu cut him off without a pause.

"No buts, please." The doctor with brown curl hair replied in an no-nonsense manner before telling the blond student to lay back down properly on his back. "We need to make sure that you're okay before you go anywhere else."

Then Yuu asked Saga a few simple questions concerning his health condition, only after confirming that the blond youth showed no sign of running a fever or having other similar problems, then did he go on opening a drawer nearby and fished out an sphygmometer to get the student's blood pressure. It turned out Saga's blood pressure was on the low side, still it was nothing alarming.

While Yuu was busy checking on him, Saga was still very aware of Tora's presence. The black haired youth was lingering at the corner of the infirmary, watching them. He couldn't understand why Tora was still here. Goodness, he couldn't even understand why his older cousin had chose to stay after taking him to the infirmary. He had thought Tora would gladly leave him in their school doctor's care once he dropped him here.

What bothered him even more was Tora's expression when he looked back at him previously, the older boy looked like he had something to say back then, and much to Saga's annoyance, he found himself not able to brush his curiosity aside.

Before Saga knew it, the doctor had finished his routine checking, the older man let out a slight sigh of relief once he confirmed that Saga was alright. He unhooked the sphygmometer from the blond student's forearm, while giving advices to the latter so he might avoid another episode of being sent to the infirmary. Saga murmured a few 'huh huh' and 'yes' to let the good doctor knew he was taking those useful advices to heart.

Once again he got up to sit for a moment before leaving the bed, with Yuu watching him nearby. Saga was almost proud when he stood up steadily back on his own two feet, without receiving help from the school doctor. He thanked the older man for taking care of him before he walked toward the door.

He almost expected to find Tora standing there, waiting for him, only to find the corner where the black haired teen once stood was now empty. Tora had departed before he could notice. The older boy didn't bother to even tell him he was leaving.

Disappointment twisted within him for a brief second before Saga managed to suppress it. It was strange that he would ever expect-- _hope_ for the raven head to wait for him in the first place. Why would the fact that Tora had left without a word bothered him so?

Closing his eyes, Saga took hold of the door handle and turned it, opening the door and walked out alone.

to be continued.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As soon as the school's doctor began taking care of Saga again, Tora left. Unnoticed. He slid the door open and close without making any noise, proceeding to stroll along the corridor. His mind wandered off as his feet brought him away from the infirmary.

** Chapter 17 **

 

After leaving the infirmary, Saga felt a little lost, unable to decide where should he go. The image of Shou and then Tora flashed through his mind for an instant, but the blond shook his head, trying to shake off the thoughts related to the trouble he was in. No, he didn't want to think about it right at the moment. Sadly his mind seemed to have another idea and soon Saga was jolted to the memory of Miyavi's party......

***

_Just...exactly how many people were in Miyavi's party tonight? Saga thought to himself, feeling puzzled and lost among the sea of people. He, Yuki and Teru were struggling to sail through the crowd in order to get to the dear birthday boy, Miyavi's side, just so they might give him their greeting personally._

_Yes, it wasn't exaggerated when Saga said there was a sea of people before him. Everywhere he turned all he could see was people dressed in gorgeous, sometime outlandish outfits, dancing, swinging freely to the rhythm of the heavy-beat disco music playing in the house, just like Miyavi's home had been transformed into a massive disco overnight. The party was so care-free that there were a handful of guests wearing pairs of shinny roller skates, rolling their way playfully across the living room-turned dance hall. A DJ, whose face Saga vaguely recalled seeing on the cover of some music magazine, stationed himself behind a set of very expensive-looking equipment, his hands moved too fast above the vinyl records that it was impossible to see his movements clearly. Playing the music like magic, it was the impression Saga had gotten._

_As he walked, Saga couldn't help swinging along a little with the music. If the music alone wasn't exciting enough, then the rest of the party's scene might well leave you speechless. The blond had been invited to Miyavi's apartment once for the house-warming. But tonight nothing inside the household looked like the way Saga remembered it. Surely the famous senpai, who had moved out from his parents' home even since he started university, had a comfortable, spacey apartment to himself; that much Saga could recall well, but.......tonight everything was just different, like someone had knocked down everything in the house and did some really crazy redecoration from floor to ceiling._

_All of the original furniture in the house had somehow managed to disappear. In their place there were rows of steel tables and chairs, most of them currently occupied by the guests, the walls behind them, once spotless, were now covered entirely by massive pieces of graffiti._

_The floor they were standing on also managed to sparkle like there were thousands diamond dust smeared across its surface. Also, gone with the normal yellowish lighting for a domestic residence, now the entire apartment was shaded in the semi-darkness under the ever-changing neon. A huge disco ball was hanged from the ceiling, reflecting countless dots of light upon the dancing crowd like shiny tiny stars as the dancers moved under the neon, laughter filled the spacey room._

_Soon one song came to an end, the trio of three found it easier to move forward than before. They hurried on, walking further into the apartment, until they found the birthday boy himself._

_Eventually they found him in where used to be the dinning room and the cleaning outside of it which, much to their utter surprise, had been turned into a skateboarders' paradise: two vert ramps of complicated design now occupied the room. One by one, vert skaters dived off from the deck with alarming speed, showing off dangerous and impressive tricks like it was nothing, flipped the board over in the air before landing, earning a lot of 'Oh's and 'Ah's from their audience whenever they pulled a fancy trick._

_Miyavi, who was wearing a designer fedora with a huge satin-made red rose on the side, dressed handsomely in a black and grey striped suit. The senpai was sitting with a group of friends next to a huge vert ramp, watching the skateboarding performance with his friends. Some of those friends were old schoolmates from his high school time but many more were strangers to Saga, whom the blond vaguely guessed as the new friends the rainbow-colors haired senpai had befriended after entering university._

_At the corner of his eye, Saga managed to catch sight of Tora hovering nearby, their eyes met briefly across the room for a second. But soon as he recognized Saga, Tora simply excused himself from his friends and walked out through another door. In turn, Saga averted his sight, pretended he didn't see the older boy exiting._

_When Miyavi saw the trio approaching, he stood up to offer his warm welcome. Soon birthday gifts were handed over, greeting were exchanged. Delighted in the company of good friends, the rainbow-colors haired teen surprised the trio by hugging them strongly and kissed them nosily on the cheeks one by one, making a playful show of his affection._

_Teru and his older brother only shrugged and laughed Miyavi's little show off along with the cheering crowd around them. However, Saga almost wanted to shy away when his turn arrived, somehow the blond managed to steel himself, stood still on his spot and allowed the birthday boy had fun hugging him like he was a teddy bear and kissed him lightly on the cheek. But the blush across his face hardly escape Miyavi's eyes._

_Just when Saga thought he had passed the 'Miyavi's style of greeting' test, the senpai just had to wink at him wickedly and said. "Sensitive,aren't you?"_

_Saga could only laugh dryly in response._

_***_

_They continued to hang out with Miyavi for a while until Yuki decided it was time to explore and had more fun. So they left and made their way back to the dance hall._

_They danced with the crowd for some time, but somehow Saga found himself alone in the middle of the crowded room, his two friends nowhere to be seen. Yuki was the first to take off when he caught sight of a group of pretty college girls and decided to move to their table for hanging out. Teru stayed with him for longer a time, but soon enough the light-blue haired teen was washed away by the crowd, the last time Saga caught sight of him was when he saw the other teen waltzing through the crowd with a Gothic Lolita in his arms. Teru was smiling down at the girl, obviously too busy to notice anything but his partner. Seeing his friend hard at work, pulling all his charm to win the girl over, Saga knew better than to go forward and interrupt Teru._

_By the time when the blond moved away from the crowd, he was already slightly out of breath, his body heated up warmly from dancing. So he decided to find a quieter place for himself to rest. After shouldering his way through the crowded dance floor, he finally found an empty table near the bar. Then he ordered a soft-drink from the bartender before settling down. Sipping his drink slowly, Saga watched the crowd before him, the dancers were still moving nonstop, some of them in groups, some as couples; either were fine to Saga; he had decided from here onward, tonight he would be more comfortable as a mere bystander; since his friends were having companies of their own, and he wasn't in the mood to make new friends._

_Then at the corner of his eye he saw someone approaching, Saga looked up and what he saw almost make his jaw drop to the floor._

_The one he saw was no other than Yuki, and he wasn't alone. Saga had thought that Yuki looked like a nobleman from the 18th century before, but right now he wasn't so sure anymore, because as far Saga could recall, there was no such thing as an 18th century nobleman drinking beer, with his arm wrapped around a girl in a sexy mini-skirt. It seemed like she was one of the college students Yuki had previously hanged out with._

_"Hey, kid!"_

_Yuki greeted his younger brother's friend warmly as he sat down, with Miss Mini-skirt settling down next to him on the other side. Need not to mention, Yuki's arm was still locking around the young woman's waist, keeping her close; maybe just a bit too close for Saga's comfort._

_The blond couldn't help but noticing Yuki's fingers snaking downward to squeeze his company's side playfully, then moving dangerously close to her hip, causing Miss Mini-skirt to laugh out loud before she brushed his hand away with a pout. Saga found himself looking away, too shy to keep staring at the older man--his friend Teru's older brother no less, fooling around with some college girl as if he wasn't even there._

_As if reading his thought, Yuki drew back a little from his lady friend, turned his head to look at Saga again, like he had just remembered the teen had been there next to them all along._

_"Oh kid I can't believe you're still sitting at the corner when everybody else is having so much fun!" It was the first thing Yuki said to Saga after he succeeded in putting his lady friend onto his laps. " Did you find someone you like? There're so many fishes in the sea right now!"_

_The blush on Saga's cheeks deepened, he looked up to Yuki almost shyly, shaking his head._

_"Oh, too bad! Then I bet you need to cheer up a bit, kid!" Yuki sighed rather dramatically, patting the blond on his shoulder. Then before Saga could do anything to stop him, the older man ordered a glass of vodka from the bartender and shove the glass into the blond's hand._

_Saga's eyes widened in shock, "But I can't--"_

_He meant to tell the older man he was still underaged so he really, really wasn't supposed to be drinking this, plus he had never touched something as strong as vodka before, but Yuki wouldn't have any of this._

_"Look at your face! Don't be so nervous!" Yuki laughed, interrupting the teen before the latter could say anything to refuse._

_"Huhh...okay." Saga replied shyly, finally he gripped the glass and sipped a small mouthful, hoping it would be enough to please Yuki. Goodness, the bitter liquor burned its way down his throat instantly, the fire reached all the way down to his chest. It tasted like nothing Saga had ever tasted before, but it also kind of made him feel...excited._

_"Drink up! Don't be shy!"_

_Yuki laughed, patting the younger man's shoulder once again. His lady friend couldn't help smiling when she saw the way Saga had reacted, then she took the beer can from Yuki's hand and drank from it. Giggling, Yuki took the beer can back, then encouraged Saga to drink more._

_Feeling the watchful gazes from both Yuki and his companion upon him, Saga knew he could not back down. Taking a deep breath, he downed the liquor in one go, and let the liquid fire wash through him at once._

_And it wasn't the last glass of vodka Yuki would be able to talk Saga into drinking tonight._

 

***

As soon as the school's doctor began taking care of Saga again, Tora left. _Unnoticed_. He slid the door open and close without making any noise, proceeding to stroll along the corridor. His mind wandered off as his feet brought him away from the infirmary.

~*~

_Tora eyed the blond who sat at the corner of the lounge, shaking the glass of vodka in his hand until the ice cubes clanked against each other. He had become a little tipsy, yes, but not as drunk as the blond. Oh, of course he could see how drunk his younger cousin was. Saga had been known to have zero tolerance to alcohol. It was a big failure to let him come to the party, let alone to let Miyavi invite him in the first place. That, Tora could never fathom. The dark-haired boy's little observation about the shorter boy had left him unaware of the current situation. In which, he had been engaged in a silly game called 'Truth or Dare', despite his reluctance to participate. It was his turn, obviously, when Miyavi punched him playfully on the arm and exclaimed loudly, "Truth or Dare?!"_

_"Dare," replied Tora in a flat tone, totally bored with the game already._

_Tora took no notice when the others' heads were gathered around to discuss what crazy thing Tora must do, though he did take another sip of his vodka. His eyes darted unwillingly to his younger cousin again. In a minute, Tora was pretty sure that Saga would pass out._

_"—_ KISS _!!" shouted Miyavi._

_Tora didn't hear the first part of the exclamation, for sure. However, he could already guess what the crazy boy was up to. Then, the others began cheering and clapping their hands in an attempt to encourage Tora to do his challenge. Tora stood up, merely to satisfy his audience._

_"Okay, guys. Who do you want me to kiss?" asked Tora coolly._

_"Saga," answered Miyavi, grinning._

_Tora didn't curse; neither did he punch Miyavi on the nose for making fun of his and Saga's relationship as cousins. Instead, he casually approached the drunk blond—hands shoved inside his jeans pockets—and towered over Saga once he had reached the table his younger cousin was occupying. Saga made a hiccup sound, his face flushed red, and he looked a bit uncomfortable with his own state._

_"No more, please... I can't take it anymore..." mumbled Saga._

_Tora took a liberty to sit beside the blond—aware of the excited stares his friends gave him—and held the glass of vodka in his Saga's hand._

_"I told you I couldn't take it anymore... Don't force me to drink it, Yuki..."_

_Tora now figured that it was that Yuki-guy who had forced Saga to drink then. Such a pity. If his parents knew that Saga was wasted when going to the same party Tora was attending as well, he would be damned. Oh, yes. Tora cared more about himself, of course. He could care less about his younger cousin's condition, but to make sure that Saga returned home sober had somewhat become his priority. At least, for tonight only._

_Another hiccup from Saga. That was all it took Tora to take the glass away from Saga's hold and placed it on the table._

_"_ Kiss him now~! _" shouted someone whom Tora would prefer not to know._

_Next thing he knew, Tora had pressed his full lips against Saga's. He could hear gasps, not only from the watchers, but from Saga as well. The gasp that came from Saga made the blond part his lips, and Tora took the chance to invade the warm cavern with his tongue, wanting it—both the kiss and the challenge—to end as soon as it began. Nevertheless, he then found himself pushing Saga backward until the smaller boy was forced to lie flat on the sofa. He felt Saga's fists punching his shoulders weakly, probably to make Tora release him. The kiss had been an one-sided too; at least, until Tora caught both of Saga's wrist, brought them up above the younger boy's head, and then trapped them there within his strong grips. Saga made that sound, which Tora could be sure was a moan when the dark-haired boy rocked his pelvis against Saga's. Then from then on, Tora's one-sided kiss was reciprocated._

_At the back of his mind, Tora was highly aware of the fact that Miyavi and the others had become speechless from the sensual act he and his younger cousin were displaying before them. He was also aware that he shouldn't be carried away and stopped right then and there. Making out with your cousin in front of your schoolmates? Dudes, that was really something! However, his teenage hormones had overtaken him, leaving his brain dysfunctional for the time being. It was a fortune that he somehow could hear Miyavi speak, "Leave them be. C'mon, guys. Let's resume the party!" and then Tora and Saga were left behind, completely free to take their affair further or not._

~*~

Tora halted. His cheeks flushed—both in anger and in embarrassment. He could actually remember that night's event and he felt angry with himself for being so careless. Saga was a victim; a small voice from inside his mind told him. It wasn't that he had practically raped him, anyway. Tora protested mentally and told the voice to shut the hell up.

Then the raven head remembered the confrontation he today had with Saga , more particular the heated kiss......

Looked like he'd done this _again_ today, the same like he couldn't stop himself from being drawn to Saga and just went ahead kissing him in the night of Miyavi's party, today he also failed to hold back his stupid libido. Tora had to admit he got a bit carried away at the moment, just a little bit......From now on he'd need to get more grip on himself.

"Tora!!!!!!" Hiroto's voice came from somewhere behind him.

The raven haired teen turned back, just in time to see the smaller boy rushed toward him, excitingly. 

"I'd just heard it! Why didn't you tell me?" Hiroto nearly shouted.

Tora was a bit confused. "Tell you what?"

"That you're _engaged_? With your cousin of all people?" Hiroto replied with a pout. "Am I not your BFF? You meanie!"

A shiver ran down Tora's spine instantly. Words really did travel fast, it seemed. "That's nothing much to be spoken of."

Part of him wanted to tell Hiroto then and there that there was no such thing as his and Saga's engagement, but he just couldn't say that, otherwise it would be a lie; and Tora would not lie to his friends, at least not when he could help it.

"You're kidding, right? It's your own engagement we're talking about here!"

"There has been something between you two since the school's festival!"

Oh no. The godforsaken school's festival, those scary girl students, the stupid cosplay performance, and Saga's stupid band. Tora thought to himself with a sigh.

"Speak up, Tiger!" demanded Hiroto again when Tora gave no response.

Unexpectedly—even by himself—, Tora heaved a loud sigh. He walked past Hiroto—brushing the much shorter boy's shoulder in the process—and muttered, "I need to be alone now, please."

He knew he sounded desperate, and he appreciated Hiroto's wise choice for not following him.

tbc...

Comments are love!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Saga was quite hopelessly drunk, still Tora's expression didn't escape his attention. The blond struggled to drag himself to a sitting position. If gaze alone could cause physical injury, then the daggers that the younger boy sent at Tora's direction would have poked some holes upon the latter's body already.

** Interlude II **

 

_When Tora finally drew back, Saga was left sprawling across the sofa, panting hard to draw much-needed oxygen back into his lungs. He could feel his face flushing hotly, his body temperature raising in an alarming speed, and it wasn't only because of the vodka he had just consumed._

_Meanwhile, Tora was still standing nearby, but the raven head wouldn't ever look at his younger cousin's direction now._

_Despite his drunkenness, one thing was clearly seared in his memory: the sensation of Tora's lips pressing against his own, the closeness of the other's body.....They had just...kissed! For goodness' sake, they KISSED!_

_That sounded very crazy, but the lingering sensation of the kiss made it impossible to deny what had just taken place between them._

_Saga felt disorientated and confused, no matter how hard he tried to figure out what was going on, his alcohol-clouded mind did nothing to help. Just...why would he let this happen to himself? Why would Tora did such a thing...? Was it Tora's latest method of messing with him?_

_The last thought struck him like an arrow. Suddenly Saga found it difficult to breath as if the room was closing in on him. He wanted to get out of here, wanted to escape the vivid memory of what had just happened. More importantly, he needed to get away from his older cousin._

_So the blond pulled himself to a sitting position with difficulty, but when he struggled to straighten himself up, a massive wave of dizziness hit him and he ended up losing balance. He snapped his eyes close, waiting for the impact of the fall to hit him, but it never came. Instead he felt a pair of arms catching him just in time, then in the next second he found himself bumping into a lean clad-chest._

_Even without looking up, Saga knew the person he had bumped into was Tora. On a subconscious level, he had already memorized the other's warmth and scent ever since the night he took care of the raven head so long ago when the latter fell ill. Plus the kiss they had just previously shared only served to renew the memory._

_The next thing he knew, Tora was backing away. At once Saga became very aware of the loss of warmth and closeness much clearer than he would ever admit. He stood there, unable to decide what to do next. His gaze fixing on the floor, as if it would make things better--_

_Before long, he saw Tora's shinny leather boots stepping into his line of vision, then a hand shot out to grip him by his wrist._

_Startled, Saga looked up, wanting to ask what Tora thought he was doing. But the raven haired teen had already turned away, dragging a very confused Saga with him._

_"Whacha you--"_

_"Party time is up for you. " Tora interrupted him impatiently, his voice flat and determined, leaving no space for argument. "Let's go back."_

_***_

_Tora and Saga left the apartment building and got into a taxi without further incident. But for the whole time during the trip back home, the younger one of the pair was uncomfortably aware of the fact that his older cousin was unusually quiet throughout the trip, leaving them in complete silence._

_Not knowing what else to do, and having no desire to try starting a conversation with the aloof raven head; Saga leaned his head on the windowsill as tiredness washed over him at once. Within the small space that was the backseat of the taxi, he felt very fussy, his jacket keeping him too warm; soon he found his eyelids becoming too heavy to remain opened._

_Tora was the first to climb out of the taxi when the vehicle came to a stop before the Amano household. When the older one turned around, he saw Saga resting motionlessly in the backseat, showing no sign of waking up anytime soon. The boy heaved a deep sigh, before moving back and shook his younger cousin awake impatiently on the shoulder._

_It took Saga a long time to reopen his eyes, and it took even longer for him to start moving his limbs in a slightly functional manner. The blond tried to drag himself to the car's door, but his legs seemed too weak to even make it across those few steps._

_Saga dropped back to his seat, he stared at the opened door. Through his clouded vision, everything looked kind of blurry, going into focus for one second before zooming out again the next. He giggled childishly, half in amusement and half in defeat. How...stupid! He was so messed up that he couldn't even walk out of a taxi on his own! And the things around him kind of looked like they were underwater._

_Tired of waiting, Tora let out another deep sigh before climbing back in to the taxi, taking his cousin by his arm and dragged him out of the car. His action wasn't rough, but the raven head didn't have it in him to be gentle and considerate neither. He was still annoyed, quitting a party early to look after his drunk younger cousin was never his idea of a good time._

_Tora held onto the shorter boy's wrist as he paid the taxi driver, then he turned and started making his way back to the house, dragging Saga with him._

_Confused and frustrated for being treated like a baby, the blond tried unsuccessfully to withdraw his captured wrist, but his feeble struggle only made Tora tightened his hold._

_The black haired boy hissed when Saga started twisting his arm, not giving up. Tora almost loosed his grip, but in the last minute he managed to grip both of the shorter boy's wrists in one hand, pushing him through the front door._

_Once getting in, they were met with complete silence, the entire house was veiled in thick darkness. Tora must switch on the light before he could walk further into the household, dragging Saga with him. The raven head knew that his parents had gone attempting some fund-raising ball hosted by their friends, they would mostly like be away for the whole night. The few servants in the household, had already left after they finished their daily routines._

_On one hand, Tora was glad that his parents were not there to witness Saga making a fool of himself in his drunk state, which would also mean at least for the time being, his parents wouldn't be around to blame him for not able to stop Saga from getting drunk---as if it really was his fault that the younger boy ever would decide to let that Yuki guy talk him into accepting drinks. On the other hand, the raven haired teen was deeply frustrated by the fact that no one was there to help him getting rid of an incoherent, drunk Saga, whom Tora found quite difficult to deal with._

_When the two finally made it into the living room, Tora loosed his grip around Saga's wrist, thinking his duty was over after they were now back to safety. But the next thing he knew, Saga took an unsteady step or two backward before he accidentally bumped into a couch behind him, causing the blond to lose his balance. For a moment Tora thought the blond would safely land on the couch, but somehow the younger boy ended up slipping down to the floor, butt first._

_"...!"_

_The blond gasped as his butt hit the ground. Despite himself, Tora couldn't suppress a small grin when he saw his cousin's downfall._

_Even though Saga was quite hopelessly drunk, still Tora's expression didn't escape his attention. The blond struggled to drag himself to a sitting position. If gaze alone could cause physical injury, then the daggers that the younger boy sent at Tora's direction would have poked some holes upon the latter's body already._

_"Don't laugh at me!"_

_With one hand grasping the couch's armrest tightly for support, Saga looked up to his older cousin, shouting as loudly as he could. The fall helped him to sober up a bit, and the shame of having Tora to witness his shortcoming was pissing Saga off like nothing else._

_Suddenly Saga began to feel bad as the carefree mood influenced by alcohol fading away. Once the cozy haze fainted, unconsciously Saga began to experience some kind of emotional withdrawal. The longer he sat on the floor, hardly able to get up; the more he felt disoriented and upset. Therefore when the blond caught sight of Tora, his mean-spirited cousin standing there, obviously smirking at him, all of the anger and sadness he had tried hard to suppress for so long simply bubbled up at once._

_"Okay, okay..." Tora replied in what he hoped would be a comforting voice. Part of Tora was amused by how childish the younger teen had made himself sound with his outburst, but the larger part of him wished Saga would just stop being so damn uncooperative. Tora thought it would have saved both of them a lot of trouble._

_Through his blurry vision, Saga saw the rave head shrugging absent-mindedly. Tora was once again talking to him like one would to a child._

_Saga was sick of it, sick of Tora treated him like he was some little boy who didn't know how to take care of himself. It always pissed him off when Tora put up such an arrogant, 'better-than-thou' attitude. Why would Tora chose to dive his nose into where he shouldn't, when he was not needed?_

_On top of it all, there was also that stupid kiss they shared in the party. Not only Tora had randomly kissed him out of the blue; and it was crystal clear that the kiss meant nothing._

_All of these were so upsetting! How- How dare Tora be so bossy, telling him what to do? It was not like......like......._

_It was not like the older boy really cared._

_The blond heard a bitter laughter echoed off, and it took him a few more seconds to realize he was the one who laughed like this, making such pathetic sound. Yes, Tora didn't care about him. How would he ever forget it, even for just a second?_

_His train of angry thought broken when a hiccup escaped his mouth. So he bent forward, rubbing the front of his chest, trying to smooth his breath. When he looked up, Saga was surprised to see his older cousin standing right in front of him, peering down at him and was holding a glass of water in one hand. The blond swore he had no idea when had Tora left and when did he return again with the glass of water._

_"Drink it."_

_Tora was forced to speak up when Saga failed to react for too long a time. Goodness, he didn't have all night to wait for the now-very-dull-Saga to slowly pick up the hint._

_The younger one accepted the glass reluctantly, then sipping the water down until the glass was empty. Tora then took the empty glass away, before gripping Saga's hand in an attempt to pull him up._

_"Whachaudoing?" When Saga tried to question the older boy's action, the words came out hopelessly crumbling together._

_Knowing it was useless to try reasoning with a drunk-head, Tora didn't even bother to reply. He sighed as he realized his original plan of letting his cousin fend for himself, after they returned to his parents' house, had clearly backfired. He realized his mistake as soon as he saw how Saga was barely able to manage any kind of normal walking._

_Tora just wouldn't trust the younger teen to try climbing the stairs on his own-- in this case it'd be a miracle that the blond ever remembered such a thing called 'going back to his own room upstairs'._

_After a brief struggle and the exchange of a few curse words, Tora managed to lift Saga up from the ground, picking the body up into his arms, bridal style on top of it._

_A gasp could be heard from Saga, but the fear for falling forced the blond to wrap his arms around the back of Tora's neck for support. Too shocked to say anything, the drunk teen could only stare up at the older boy questioningly._

_Despite the dimness surrounding them, as he climbed up the stairs Tora could still make out the shade of crimson spreading across his cousin's cheeks, the younger one's warm breath brushing across the side of his own neck. It was too, too close for Tora's comfort. He tried hard to ignore the confused gaze, the surprisingly delicate expression appeared on Saga's face, the hands that wrapped themselves around his neck so nervously, the warmth that radiated to him from Saga's body, and the embarrassing position they were now in._

_The raven head reasoned with himself that he was doing it simply because it was easier and less embarrassing to carry a drunk Saga that way instead of offering the latter a piggyback-ride. But why was his heart beating like a drum when he noticed Saga was looking at him like this? Why wouldn't the warm blush across his own cheeks go away!?_

to be continued.

This time the Bollywood song's Guzuarish (tran. Beseech), by the talented A R Rahman, kind of serves as an inspiration! (Link: youtu.be/dnbbsPrKb70)


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After hearing Hiroto's question, Saga went very still. What followed next was a long moment which could only be described as the air around the two youths freezing over, finally the blond broke the ice with his thin voice.

** Chapter 18 **

 

Hiroto left the school's Cosplay Club homeroom behind with a light sigh. Here had been one long meeting but luckily they managed to come up with an agreement in the end. They had decided the theme and activities for the upcoming season--after 'the great success' they achieved in the School Festival, the Club very much wanted their next performance in the remaining school year to be just as successful as well. 

With so many details to work out, the meeting last longer than any of them had previously expected, before any of the club member realized, hours had passed by and the better part of the Saturday morning had already slipped away.

The lithe blond student looked back at his fellow committees, who were slowly exiting their homeroom. Soon the members of the Club were walking down the hallway, satisfied that the meeting was eventually finished and they were now heading out of school. They talked among themselves causally, discussing the plan for Saturday's enjoyment and where to have lunch after they left the school building.

Hiroto planned to join his friends, but before they could leave the school building together, they had to wait for a few girl members, who had to go collecting some items from their lockers. While the rest of the Club waited in the ground floor's main entrance for the girls to return, Hiroto decided to make a brief visit to the restroom. 

The small-figured student excused himself before heading toward the restroom, humming as he walked along the empty hallway. He walked into the restroom, finding it to be empty as well, which suited him just fine. 

A few minutes later, with his natural calling well taken care of, the blond teen was about to leave just when he heard suspicious noise coming from one of the stalls.

Hiroto's action all came to a halt when the faint noise reached his ears. The small noise startled him for he realized he was not as alone as he had thought, also the sound was weak, barely audible but it was unsettling, it sounded like someone was sighing, moaning; as if he was in pain or great discomfort.

The student hesitated for a moment before turning away from the exit and slowly made his way to the stall at the far end of the restroom, to where he thought the disturbing noise came from. 

Even though part of him was still uncertain of whether it was a good idea to peer into someone else's business that might not be his own to care about, but the larger part of him couldn't just turn his head when others were in distress. Perhaps the other student inside the stall was suffering with some illness right now, and needed to be taken to the school's infirmary......   
He noticed that the door to said stall was mostly closed, the blond student could make out a figure clad in school's uniform, his back facing toward him, the figure was bending toward the toilet. Judging from the sound coming out from the stall, Hiroto was now certain that the other student was puking, maybe it was a case of a weak stomach, or food poisoning? 

Out of politeness, Hiroto called out instead of simply rushed forward and pulled the door open.

"Hey......are you alright?"

There was no response at first, until after a long moment of silence, a very faint reply arrived:

"I...I'm fine." The person murmured in response while still trying to catch his own breath.

But to Hiroto, the speaker sounded everything but 'fine', since the person didn't snap at him or ask to be left alone, Hiroto teen decided to wait outside, out of concern for the fellow student's well being; just in case the other student needed to be accompanied to the infirmary after all. 

Finally, the small noise from the other side of the door slowly......subsided, it was replaced by the much louder sound of toilet being flushed, a moment later the door slowly slipped open, to reveal a familiar figure to Hiroto. 

The blond teen was taken aback when he found himself facing a very pale-looking Saga, who obviously looked far from being 'fine'.

When Saga saw who was standing outside of the stall, he was equally stunned, leaving the two of them speechless, gazing at each other in uncomfortable silence. But beyond the shock the shorter student could see some other emotions there, awkwardness and a......a look of shame? Hiroto was confused. Why would Saga have that expression on his face?

At first Hiroto didn't think much about it. People tended to look a little awkward whenever they were caught in a state of disadvantage and distress, plus Saga wasn't close with Hiroto so it might be no wonder that the taller boy was acting a little shy now...? 

Part of Hiroto wanted to just leave thing as it was here, for it didn't take much for the shorter boy to understand Saga didn't want him to linger around. It wasn't like Hiroto had nothing else to do. The boy thought to himself, his friends were still waiting for him to return to them......

Saga still wasn't saying anything, he stood there before Hiroto, while the latter grew to be aware of the fact that he was blocking Saga's way, maybe he should step back---

But at the back of his mind, something was still bothering Hiroto. Something he couldn't quite put his fingers on just yet. 

Then something hit Hiroto.

Hiroto did not know what exactly had targeted his suspicion, only that there was something about Saga looked......off. But when that craziest idea just popped up in his mind without warning, it was like some half-forgotten thoughts suddenly rushed back to the surface of his consciousness. So shocking that particular thought was, it was almost like a heavy brick being dropped down right on top of Hiroto's head, hitting him hard. 

"S-------Saga-san?" 

Hiroto could hear the nervousness in his own voice, for he wasn't used to talk directly with Tora's younger cousin, especially not when they were alone. They had always been polite with each other in the past, the word 'friendly' could also be used when referring their interactions, but it didn't mean neither of them would be comfortable raising up issues which were ways too sensitive and personal.

"Yes...?" Saga replied, gazing uncertainly at the shorter boy. 

"Are you...?"

Saga continued to look at him blankly, he didn't know what Hiroto was going to say next but it looked like the shorter boy had something in his mind, something to ask, a question. 

_Could it be...?_ The thought almost sent Saga into a fit of panic, but he still tried to deny his own thought. Hiroto wasn't likely to know about his affair with Tora.......or did he? Even though he was Tora's best friend......

But Hiroto's next sentence left no room for denial.

Swallowing a lump down his throat, Hiroto spoke again, voicing out the inconvenient question. "Are you......pregnant?"

It was such a wild guess, Hiroto knew the other student would be embarrassed or even deeply offended if he had guessed wrong. But his gut feeling was telling him something about Saga was wrong, that there was more to his illness than just a simple food poisoning or an upset stomach. 

After hearing Hiroto's question, Saga went very still. What followed next was a long moment which could only be described as the air around the two youths freezing over, finally the blond broke the ice with his thin voice.

"I.....what are you talking about?"

The blond tried to make himself sound like he didn't understand what Hiroto had just said. But Saga's blushing face, the way he failed to bring himself to look at Hiroto's direction and the obvious waves of shiver which shoot through the blond's limbs as he forced the words out of his mouth; were almost enough to proof to Hiroto that he wasn't wrong.

"How did you...?"

Hiroto was certain that the blond wanted to ask him how did he find out, but Saga couldn't even finish his words. 

So Hiroto just shook his head.

"Wait!" Suddenly a look of alarm flashed in Saga's eyes as panic sank in, his face went even paler if it were possible. "Did _he_ tell you that!?"

"No one told me anything." Taken aback by Saga's strong reaction, the blond teen shook his head again in confusion. He wasn't even certain who 'he' was supposed to be. "Well, the way you behaved....it just looks _that_ way. So I made my guess."

Saga shocked his head, still trying in vain to deny what Hiroto was beginning to feel certain of. "It's not......it's not like that!"

_Like what?_ Seeing the usually level-headed taller student in a state of panic and anxiety, like a child being caught red-handed, Hiroto could not find it in him to press on with the matter, but before he could stop himself, more questions jumped right out of his mouth.

"Did you tell your family about it?" Hiroto asked without a pause, out of concern and worry of his fellow schoolmate. "Did _Tora_ know?"

His last question startled not only Saga, but also the shorter boy himself. Hiroto had no idea why Tora's name suddenly popped up in the middle of his sentence, his best friend's name just slipped between his lips before he realized what he was saying.

Hiroto saw Saga biting his lower lips, various emotions flushing across his pale face for a brief moment before the blond killed those emotions and schooled his expression to be blank with effort. 

"Yes." Saga whispered in a small, but flat voice, as if he didn't really want Hiroto to hear what he had to say in reply. "He _knew_."

Then before Hiroto could respond, the taller boy sprang into action in an instant, he quickly shouldered past the shorter boy without a word.

Hiroto watched him go, he needed to clear his mind so he could make sense of the brief but puzzling conversations he had just had with Saga. His gaze accidentally fell upon the mirrors on the opposite wall, he saw his reflection blinked at him, looking back at him in bewilderment. 

Saga's tone had turned strangely......cold when Tora's name was mentioned. Then Hiroto recalled the news/rumor about Tora's engagement with his cousin, namely Saga. 

Why couldn't he remember _this_ a little earlier? Hiroto had even heard stories about his best friend having a fiery showdown with Shou in the schoolyard with onlookers watched on. They claimed that Saga was the topic of their heated argument. It didn't take long for people to be swearing up and down that Tora and Shou were actually fighting over Saga.

Before that, Hiroto took the news about his best friend engaging with his younger cousin as something hilarious: it was almost purely humorous to picture Tora and Saga, who couldn't even get along with one another, to be engaged. But right now, realization of his friend's true situation dawned in with the blond student, and the humor was slipping right out.

Just a few minutes earlier, Saga had came so very, very close to admit he was pregnant.

So what did it mean, what did all these messes _truly_ mean?

Tora's weird questions also came into mind as Hiroto struggled to figure things out. His 'friend's' story of knocking up a girl but didn't know how to clean up his own mess......

If Hiroto's previous suspicion about Tora actually being the 'friend' in that story was correct, then...who might be the 'girl' he had supposed to knock up, out of foolishness?

Could there not be any girl at the first place, after all?

Could the person in question actually be...... _Saga_?

So Did it mean...did it mean what he was suspecting now? Was Saga...was he.......was he?

Was he the one who was pregnant with Tora's child? 

Was that the reason why these two were engaged out of the blue?

"Oh god."

Hiroto heard himself gasping as he asked the question he knew would be met with no answer. 

"Tora...just what the hell had you done!?"

to be continued.

Sorry it took _forever_ for us to get things done!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've missed you, Tora… So much," muttered Saga.

** Interlude IIIA **

 

_Tora was now standing in front of Saga's door. He was positive that the shorter boy had locked it before he left to the party. He could have just unlocked it, only if he had the key. His gaze shifted to the now half-drunk, half-sober boy, wondering where he had kept his key. As if noticing Tora's unspoken question, Saga mumbled, "In my jeans pocket. The left one."_

_"And how am I supposed to get it, now that my hands are currently occupied?" asked Tora rhetorically._

_"Put me down," said Saga._

_Tora did as he was told. He watched as Saga steadied himself on his own two feet, one of his hands was on the wall to keep him balanced. Absentmindedly, the shorter boy brought his other hand up to his and messed the already messy blond hair. Tora was still watching._

_"The key…?"_

_Saga merely nodded, his eyes unfocused. About thirty seconds or so had passed, and Saga still hadn't fished out his bedroom key yet. Tora groaned in annoyance._

_"God… You're feeling drowsy, aren't you?"_

_Tora's curiosity was confirmed by a stifled yawn coming from his shorter cousin. Impatient, the taller boy grabbed Saga's shoulder, turned him around, and felt him up._

__Wait. That sounded wrong. _Tora shook his head._ I'm doing this only to find the key _, Tora thought. However, when Tora turned Saga around, it was actually hard enough to make the shorter boy moaned in pain; and moan, he did. The sound that came out from Saga's mouth startled Tora. Because it didn't sound like how it was supposed to be. Maybe Tora had drunk quite a lot, just enough to dysfunction his mind. Because instead of a painful moan, what Tora heard was… was a different kind of moan! The taller boy didn't dare define it more than that. One sure thing though, it was a moan that could make his face flush in embarrassment. Then, he still had to find the key. The damn key, which was hidden inside Saga's jeans—tight ones—pocket. He was lucky that Saga couldn't see his face. Because if he could, he would see just how red Tora's face was, as his taller cousin put his hand into his jeans pocket._

_"What are you doing?" asked Saga sleepily._

_"Stay still, damn it," Tora couldn't help but curse._

_"I asked you—"_

_"There, I found it! Now, will you just shut up?"_

_Saga spun himself around, head leaning back onto the wall. He was silent, yes, but he was pouting. Tora's heart skipped a beat. He didn't know—never expected—that his shorter cousin could look that adorable whilst pouting like that. When he inserted the key into the keyhole, he noticed his hand was shaking and he missed his aim a couple of times._ Damn fuzzy mind _, he cursed again._

 __Click. __

_It was unlocked! Tora couldn't be happier. He quickly opened the door, dragging Saga in by his wrist._

_"_ Itai yo _~" whined Saga._

 _"_ Urusai _," retorted Tora._

 _Tora reached the bed first. He looked back at Saga, who was staggering towards his bed. Saga rubbed his half-lidded eyes with the back of his hands, whilst Tora manoeuvred him to sit on his bed. He pushed Saga down until he was lying on his back, knelt down beside the bed and proceed to taking Saga's shoes off._ I can't believe I'm doing this _, Tora thought._

_It was silent for the next few seconds. Tora almost thought that Saga had fallen asleep; but then, the blond mumbled his name. Tora looked up, wondering if Saga would speak again. He did._

_"… Tora."_

_"What? You keep calling my name for the last few seconds. Just what do you want?"_

_"… It's cold."_

_"There's a blanket right beside you," stated Tora matter-of-factly._

_"… … …"_

_Saga made no move whatsoever. Tora sighed, reached his hand out to get the blanket, and then spread it over Saga's body. He had expected Saga to curl up into a ball once the blanket covered him, but he never expected Saga to grab his wrist and hold it tightly._

_"What the—?"_

_"Stay with me…?"_

_"What the fuck. No fuckin' way!"_

_"_ Onegai _…"_

 _Tora seriously blamed the alcohol now. He blamed the alcohol for causing Saga to act so clingy. He blamed the alcohol for softening his usually cold attitude towards the blond. Because when he heard the plea in Saga's voice, he couldn't say no. Instead, he walked towards the door (muttering_ 'damn it, damn it, damn it' _), closed—even locked—it and then strode back to Saga's bed. He claimed his previous position—sitting on the floor—and insisted that he should keep a distance with Saga, lest anything unexpected would happen again. He even had his back to Saga, preferring not to behold the sight of his cousin lying on his own bed. However, Saga wasn't asleep yet. The blond moved closer to the edge of his bed, once again startling Tora by circling his arms around the dark-haired boy's neck._

_"Saga, what the hell?!"_

_"I've missed you, Tora… So much," muttered Saga._

_Tora's eyes widened. He couldn't believe what he just heard. He blamed the alcohol again. Apparently, it had messed up Saga's mind and mood as well. What now? Angsty Saga? Oh yeah. He could live with that. It was only a night, after all. He'd make sure that this certain event would never happen again. Ever._

_"Say what you like," Replied Tora nonchalantly. He had given up on getting himself free from Saga's arms._

_"… Why did you change, Tora? … You weren't like this before. You used to be very, very kind to me," Saga continued his rumbling._

_Tora couldn't help but listen. What was Saga up to by bringing that topic up?_

_"I had always felt lonely after my parents...passed away. Until your family took me in… Until I met you and we became friends. I still… remember your promise, Tora…"_

_"… That I would always be by your side, no matter what," said Tora without even him noticing it._

_Saga's lips formed a tiny smile, though Tora couldn't see it since he still had his back facing Saga. He couldn't see it as well, when the smile turned into a sad one._

_"…Then why did you change? Why are you slowly but surely breaking your promise? What have I done to make you angry with me like this? I could feel it, Tora… Your fury, your jealousy… Towards me… In those past years."_

_Tora swallowed hard. He didn't know what to say and just decided to keep listening._

_"_ Gomen ne… Hontou ni gomennasai, ne _… Tora."_

_"What are you apologising for?" Tora should've known better not to trust his voice, because it came out hoarse as if he had been holding back a sob._

_"… Because I've stolen your parents' attention from you. That's why you've been angry with me, is that not?" Saga whispered sorrowfully. "But I've never meant to hurt you---"_

_Enough. Tora couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He stood up, bent down above Saga and placed his hands on either side of Saga's head. The blond himself merely fluttered his eyelids at the movement on the bed that Tora made._

_"I'm not angry with you," Tora hissed his words, "… Neither am I jealous of you. I…"_

_"… … …"_

_"I… God damn it…"_

_Then, Tora kissed Saga again._

_He heard a gasp, but he ignored it. Instead, he cupped Saga's face with one of his hands and moved his lips very, very slowly against Saga's full ones. He felt Saga's arms encircle themselves around his neck, and that just encouraged him to deepen his kiss. He had now practically manoeuvred himself to lie on top of Saga. He heard Saga gasp again, and this time, he used the chance to slip his tongue into Saga's slightly opened mouth. Now, he heard a moan from Saga, and a groan from himself. He felt Saga grab a hold of his raven hair and he wanted to shove his tongue down Saga's throat, but unfortunately, they both felt the need for air at that moment. They pulled apart; Saga catching his breath underneath him, his face was flush red. He was sure his was not any different. He stared at Saga's face, scrutinising his delicate feature. He had forgotten how gorgeous his shorter cousin was. When Saga finally opened his eyes and looked into his eyes, Tora spilled the beans._

_"_ … I like you… but I'm afraid. That's why…"

 

to be continued in Interlude III part b.

 

We _seriously_ don't want to leave you hanging here, but sadly life's a bitch and dear chibi_bisque hasn't yet had the time to write the part that you all sooooooooooo want to read!XD


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very carefully, Tora removed himself from atop of Saga's lithe body, climbing down the bed. He was just about to stand up when he felt Saga's hand on his. The blonde gripped his wrist rather tightly.

** Interlude IIIB **

 

_"You...like me?" Saga hesitantly repeated those words, his eyes widened in disbelief, not able to fully understand what he had just heard. He peered up to look into his older cousin's eyes, trying to read his expression; but Tora's face had already gone blank._

_The raven haired teen was as shocked as Saga did by his own words. If it was possible, he would love to blame the alcohol again for his slip of tongue. However, despite his effort, for some unknown reason he couldn't feel the effect of liquor in his system anymore. Right now he felt too sober, too...focused to claim being drunk._

_Tora cursed again, already regretting what he had just said. Next, he dragged his upper body up, looking away in embarrassment._

_"Oh...just forget it!" The older teen groaned loudly with frustration clear in his voice. " You.......I mean look at you! You probably will not remember anything in the morning!"_

__"But I don't want to forget this." __

_Tora was in shock because he could feel Saga's arms wrapping around his neck again, drawing him back to the younger boy's embrace._

_Tora landed atop the blond's thin frame, barely able to support himself with his elbows in the last second, to avoid crushing his entire weight on Saga. The raven head cursed inwardly, then he tried to untangle himself only to find Saga's grip was stronger and more determined than he would have expected._

_So here he was, lying on top of his younger cousin, in the latter's bed; their limbs tangled together awkwardly, with his face laid against the crook between Saga's neck and shoulder. The blond's short locks of hair filled almost all of his vision, his nose filled with the faint sweet scent of shampoo Saga'd used._

_Much to Tora's surprise, what he heard next was a giggle._

_"I'm so happy you said this!"_

_He could hear Saga's voice right next to his ear, the youth sounded far happier than before._

_Saga continued in a more dreamy voice. "I'm happy that you don't hate me, Tora."_

_"I'll never hate you." Pulling slightly away from the blond's embrace so they could face each other again, Tora whispered. "I...I think..."_

_He never had the chance to finish the sentence, for his breath caught in his throat in surprise when he saw the brightest smile spread across his cousin's flushing face._

_"I like Tora...too."_

_Before Tora could react, Saga was leaning forward and placed a small but unexpected kiss on his lips, much to the raven haired teen's shock._

_Tora could feel his eyes widen. Saga had initiated the kiss. The act itself shocked the dark-haired boy to the core, he couldn't think of anything for a moment. However then, he melted into the sensation, quickly moving his lips along with Saga's before the latter could hesitate or withdraw. He was letting himself give in to his lust, he was well aware of that. He even knew that he would regret it later, but now he just couldn't stop himself. The younger boy beneath him moaned, and Tora felt himself getting harder._

__This is so wrong _, Tora could think somewhat. Then, Tora pulled back, panting and flushed. Saga's eyes remained closed. Tora noticed his kiss-swollen lips and he instantly averted his gaze. He kept a distance between their bodies, supporting himself with both of his elbows on either side of Saga's arms. As much as he despised the idea, Tora studied Saga's facial expression, anyway. The blonde looked content, his eyes still closed. Gradually, his breathing slowed down. Tora could tell that Saga was falling asleep._

__I should leave now. __

_Very carefully, Tora removed himself from atop of Saga's lithe body, climbing down the bed. He was just about to stand up when he felt Saga's hand on his. The blonde gripped his wrist rather tightly._

_"Don't leave," Pleaded his cousin almost inaudibly._

_"Please, don't make it harder," replied Tora, not really certain with what he meant by that._

_"Hard? What is hard, really?" Tora felt the bed shake because of Saga's movement, his cousin had decided to sit up,_

_"You're the one who makes everything seem hard, Tora. And I meant everything. Why? You can't even say my name without flinching or… snapping. Is that too hard for you?"_

_Tora turned to face his cousin, sighing deeply. He stared directly into Saga's eyes._

_"God, please. You're too drunk to even realize what you're saying. You won't remember anything in the morning," said the dark-haired boy, sounding somewhat distressed._

_"I'm not drunk!"_

_"Yes, you are! Your mood swings are playing around with you. It's messing up your brain."_

_"See? You just snapped at me!"_

_It was hard for Tora not to roll his eyes in disbelief. He began to believe that tonight would be the most fucked up night in his entire life. Dealing with a drunken Saga was more complicated than he thought it would be. The normal Saga---the sober one, would not argue back at him like this; the normal Saga rarely had mood swings, he always tried hard to be mature and considerate, always tried to avoid becoming a burden. He knew when to back down, he would not be clingy and demanding. Well! Tonight's drama would have NEVER taken place if only Saga was in his right mind!_

_Tora closed his eyes, feeling his forehead crease. By the time he opened them again, Saga had hidden his face between his raised-up knees. Why, oh why, can my cousin be this emotional? Tora thought desperately, mentally face-palming. The blonde said nothing, making Tora feel guilty. He extended his arm to touch Saga, although hesitating. He cleared his throat first before he touched Saga's arm._

_"Hey."_

_Saga remained silent._

_"Hey, I'm really sorr—"_

_Saga made a gagging sound. Now that alarmed Tora. The taller boy wasted no time as he helped Saga get off the bed, practically carrying him to the bathroom afterwards. The blonde quickly crouched down in front of the toilet bowl, with Tora iopening the lid for him. Saga puked his guts out, emptying his stomach. Tora, ever so considerate, massaged the back of his cousin's neck simultaneously._  
Needed not to mention, it was not pleasant to watch someone else puking messily, but with patience which Tora didn't know he could ever muster, he waited till Saga was done emptying his stomach; then after helping the younger boy got back to his feet, he calmly flushed the toilet before turning back to his cousin, who was now struggling to move to the sink.  
Not bothering to say anything further, the raven haired teen went behind Saga, putting his hands on either sides of the latter's thin waist in order to steady him as the blond got water to clean his face rather clumsily. Then he saw Saga reach out for his tumbler, but his hand missed its aim. Tora took the tumbler, filling it with water and placed it on his cousin's palm. He was not sure if Saga could handle things properly, though. This was why the taller teen was surprised when he saw Saga finished without any problem whatsoever. Turning around—still within Tora's grips, Saga subconsciously put his hands on Tora's shoulders. Noticing the crease in the shorter teen, Tora couldn't help but ask about how Saga currently felt. 

_"… Dizzy," answered Saga after a short while._

_"Of course, you do. Just hold on to me. I'll carry you back to the bed," replied Tora._

_Saga did as he was told. Then, without so much effort, Tora scooped him up bridal style. The blonde encircled his arms around Tora's shoulders and even buried his face in the dark-haired teen's neck. Tora had had already arrived to a point where he wouldn't remind his cousin anymore about how the latter wasn't going to be able to remember anything the following morning, so he kept his mouth shut and proceeded exiting the bathroom._

_He strutted towards the bed and laid his cousin down. He was just about to spread the blanket over Saga's body when he noticed the wet spot on the middle front of the blonde's shirt. Tora sighed, mentally telling himself that he shouldn't have let Saga take care of himself when he was drunk. Without saying anything, Tora began undressing his cousin._

_"What are you doing?" asked Saga suddenly, his voice sounds almost sober, then he tried to remove Tora's hands._

_"Your shirt is wet. You need to change it, or else you'll catch a cold," answered Tora matter-of-factly._

_"I can do that myself."_

_"Fine."_

_Tora sat back, watching his cousin undress himself. Saga's fingers were shaking and they repeatedly missed the buttons. Saga groaned in annoyance, whereas Tora raised his eyebrow skeptically. Impatient, the dark-haired teen grabbed Saga's hands._

_"Just stay still and let me do this for you."_

_Tora heard Saga sigh and mutter incoherent words, but the blonde's hands had retreated and rested on the mattress, allowing Tora to take care of him. Once he was done with Saga's shirt, Tora pulled the blanket and spread it over his cousin's now only partly clad body, simply because he was too lazy to fetch a clean shirt from Saga's closet. However, Saga removed the blanket and complained about how hot the temperature was._

_"… Whatever," said Tora, not very in the mood to argue._

_The entire time, Tora avoided looking directly at his cousin. There was something in their sudden closeness that made Tora feel embarrassed about the whole situation and how he had gotten involved in it somewhat; let alone Saga's half-naked state. He remembered the previous kiss, and it made him feel worse. Tora was jolted from his short reverie when he felt Saga's hand touched his. He turned his head to his cousin and regretted it straight away. The way Saga looked at him made him speechless. His blonde cousin suddenly looked like a puppy that needed to be hugged and be pampered. Will his mood-swings ever end? Tora asked himself mentally._

_"What do you need now?" Tora questioned Saga, who had dragged himself closer to the taller teen now._

_"Nothing," Saga shook his head._

_"I'll just leave, then."_

_"Don't."_

_"Why not? You don't need me anymore, anyway."_

_"I do."_

_"You don't know what you're saying."_

_"… I just want to be with you."_

_Saga's statement silenced Tora. The blonde's grip on Tora's hand had tightened, preventing the dark-haired teen from leaving. Tora swallowed a lump in his throat._

_"… You're going to—"_

_"Stop telling me that."_

_Saga sat up, looking hurt. His eyes were glassy, and the sight startled Tora._

_"Why is it so hard for us to be like how we were in the old days again?"_

_"Things change." The older boy replied dryly._

_"No, you did. Do you know how I feel when someone I have always known as my brother and friend suddenly started avoiding me just like that?"_

_"I have my reasons."_

_"Excuses."_

_"With or without me in your life, it makes no difference."_

_"How could you tell?"_

_Tora averted his gaze. His head began to feel dizzy. He needed to go anywhere but here before he could lose his temper. Saga was still speaking, which to Tora sounded like just a rumbling. The dizziness in his head got worse and Tora just wished he could make Saga shut up._

_"Are you even listen—?"_

_Tora lost it. He brought his head closer to Saga's and silenced the blonde by kissing him on the lips. Much to his surprise, Saga responded to the kiss immediately. The kiss was harsh at first, because Tora lashed out his frustration into it. Nevertheless, Saga didn't pull back like Tora wanted him to. Tora wanted Saga to push him, to punch him, and tell him to get the hell out of his room. Saga did nothing of the sort, however. Instead, he was allowing Tora to release his frustration through the kiss, even gradually calming Tora down by the soft noises he made. Tora was affected by Saga's tenderness that he subconsciously nibbled on the blonde's lower lip more gently. When the need for air became necessary, Tora broke the kiss. He glanced down at Saga's moist lips, and then moved to his eyes. Saga stared back at him, panting heavily._

_"Tell me to leave, and you won't need to regret anything tomorrow," whispered Tora._

_Closing his eyes, Saga shook his head._

_"Last chance."_

_The blonde shook his head again. He even put his hand above Tora's on the mattress. Then next thing Tora knew, he had lay on top of his cousin's body, kissing every inch of the silky skin. Saga was a quiet partner in bed,Tora couldn't have ever imagined him to react like this beforehand. Although The blonde had always been a calm person. He only felt the need to raise his voice when things became ugly or when somebody pissed him off. The noises that now escaped Saga's lips as Tora nipped on his collarbone were so soft, yet they were close to Tora's ears and sounded somewhat arousing._

_Tora didn't know when he got rid of his own clothing and the rest of Saga's. He was mildly surprised when the cold air grazed his exposed skin, but the warmth that radiated from Saga's body engulfed him afterwards. Saga embraced him so tightly, moaning Tora's name and jerking his hips when their erections met. Tora slipped his hand underneath Saga's bottoms, pushing them upward and groaned at the friction. He captured Saga's moist lips again, distracting the blonde with the kiss as he reached out for a lube inside his jeans pocket -he had prepared such a little item before he went to the party just in case he managed to find...company- though he would never have guessed said item would be eventually used for an encounter such as this._

_He found the tube and took it out, uncapping the lid. He broke the kiss and pulled back a bit as he squeezed some of the liquid and poured it onto his palm. Saga watched him nervously, and Tora suddenly felt the need to kiss his cousin's forehead._

_He whispered soothing words into his cousin's ear, at the same time when he thrust a finger inside the blonde. Saga gasped and jerked in surprise at the intrusion, his muscles instinctively trying to force the finger out. Tora kept thrusting deeper, placing tiny kisses all over Saga's face to assure him. It took three fingers for Saga to really open up to him, and by that time, the blonde had felt more relaxed. Tora's knuckles hit a bundle of nerves inside the blonde, which made him see stars behind his eyelids. Saga gripped the bed sheets, blinded with the new sensation. Tora felt his erection twitch at the sight, and he thought it was time._

_He pulled his fingers out, receiving a whimper from his cousin. He stared at the younger boy for a moment, before he bent down again to kiss Saga's cheek. He spread Saga's thighs, realizing that he treated his cousin the same as he treat girls, but he could care less at that. It was true that he usually did his past boyfriends from behind, but somehow, he didn't want Saga to experience the same treatment. Saga was different, he was—now Tora admitted—special to him. He had never thought of his exs in such an intimate way, but now that it was actually happening, although Saga was very likely not to remember tonight's event later, Tora wanted it to be more than just sex. He realized he was being sentimental, but Tora quickly brushed off the thought._

_He slowly pushed his erection inside Saga. Feeling certain that both he and Saga was clean. He didn't feel the need to use a condom. The blond gasped again, his forehead creasing in pain. Tora stroke his cousin's thigh in an attempt to calm him down, still thrusting deeper slowly. When he was finally buried to the hilt, he stayed still and allowed Saga to adjust to the feeling. Saga was very tight, it almost hurt Tora too, though he was too carried away to even wonder what this might indicate._

_The blond's arms were encircled around Tora's waists; his breathing came out as a series of pants. Saga opened his eyes that he didn't even realize when he had closed them, staring up at Tora's handsome face. Tora was staring back at him. Once Saga nodded, then Tora started to move._

_Tora felt Saga's thighs hooking around his waist, effectively pushing Tora even deeper. He groaned in pleasure, nipping on Saga's earlobe. He fastened his pace when Saga grabbed a hold of his dark hair and moaned louder. He was startled when Saga screamed his name so sensually as he hit the blonde's prostate. His cousin's body was shuddering in pleasure, not very different with Tora's. The taller teen had purposely aimed for the sweet spot and managed to graze it with the head of his erection repeatedly. The action sent Saga over the edge. Then, Tora reached between their joined bodies and grabbed a hold of Saga's erection, to find it warm and hard. Tora stroke it fast, thrusting faster at the same time. Saga's breathing became rapid and Tora knew that the blonde was reaching his peak. Not long after, he felt the wetness in his palm and was forced to reach his own climax as Saga's muscles clamped around him. He buried his face in Saga's neck as he shot his release inside the blond. They rode their orgasms for the next moments, both panting hard._

_Then it was over._

_Tora pulled out of Saga and moved to lie down beside the blond, while the blonde himself turned to his side, his back facing Tora. There was something at the way it had ended that made Tora's heart flinch. Tora glanced at Saga's back, saying nothing. From his slow breathing, Tora could tell that his cousin had fallen asleep. Tora took a breath and stared at the ceiling._

_"… Damn," It was all he could utter before he climbed down the bed, put his jeans back on, and flung his shirt over his shoulder._

_One last glance at his sleeping cousin, and then Tora left._

to be continued.

Chibi said she is sorry for the delay, but what do you think?


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The warm water from above was still beating down on his bare skin, soaking him from head to toes, but Saga didn't mind it, he needed to wash himself, wanting to wash away all traces of evidence about last night.

** Interlude IV **

 

_The morning after Miyavi's birthday party, Saga woke up to the worst hangover of his life._

_Even before he became fully conscious, headache had already been hammering mercilessly against his skull. He groaned in pain, tossing and turning restlessly among the mattress, as if it would help him to get rip of the massive headache, but as minutes slowly ticked by, the pain only got worse instead of improving._

_Goodness, it really did feel awful._

_Like waking up from a half-forgotten dream. The trip from semi-consciousness to full wakefulness wasn't particularly a comfortable one. Saga threw his arm up, resting his forearm across his eyes to block the invading stream of sunlight, there was a new-formed pain nesting beneath his eye sockets and the pain was pulsing with his every breath, at this state he just wasn't ready to have direct exposure to sunlight yet._

_His throat felt very, very dry.The logical thing to do was to get right up and fend himself some water, but for the time being, Saga just couldn't will himself to get up; for there seemed to be a dull soreness weighting his limbs down._

_The blond shifted, turning to his side in order to avoid the invading sunlight. It was when he first became conscious of the fact that he was naked beneath the sheet, which was something highly unusual for him. What had happened? Did he get so wasted to a point of stripping before passing out?_

_And the sheets around him, it smelled kind of..._ wrong _. There was scent he had never expected to find in his own bed. Strange but not enough to be fully unpleasant. The air around him smelled of dried sweat and something he couldn't pinpoint just yet. What was it then? But the headaches prevented him to think any further._

_He wasn't certain for how long he had laid there, but behind his closed eyelids, the sunlight through his windows was steadily getting brighter, plus the headache just wouldn't go away._

_Finally with a yawn, Saga wiped his tired eyes, trying to wipe the sleepiness away; then he pressed his elbows against the bed sitting himself up, it was when he first noticed that it actually_ hurt _to move._

_But...why?_

_Before the teen could wonder any further, suddenly an overwhelming sense of nausea rose up to the back of his throat. He growled loudly, blocking his mouth with a firm palm to prevent himself from puking. Right now he was able to retreat himself from doing so, but he knew he was about to throw up, soon._

_Saga dragged himself out of bed despite of the merciless constant headache within his skull and the soreness that seemed to run through his every muscle, then rushed into the tiny bathroom next to his room as fast as his aching body could allow._

_****_

_After a long period of time miserably emptying his stomach to the toilet and then a fully 3 minutes of bending over the sink wiping his face with cold water, Saga finally felt clean-headed and coherent enough to face the world._

_He had been in such a hurry that he didn't have time to put some clothes on before, although there was no one around to witness his nakedness, Saga was getting increasingly aware of the cool air in the morning surrounded his bare form, causing goosebumps to spread across his skin._

_Without looking up, Saga reached out a hand to search for the bathroom towel he knew must be placed somewhere nearby._

_The blond found the towel without much difficulty, he was wrapping said bathroom towel around his waist when he caught sight of himself in the mirror at the corners of his eyes. He paused for a moment, not understanding what he had seen in the mirror. But seconds later he turned toward the mirror fully, staring at his own reflection with as much concentration as he could, only to find more suspicious hints about his activities of the previous night, which he still had no memory of._

_There were a lot of tiny marks, some pinkish and some dark purple in color, spreading across his torso. The blond looked closer, shivered when he realized those marks looked unsettling like love bites. It was worse in the area around his neck and collar. Saga frowned, he could never have leave those marks there, not to himself----_

_It was like.......Like someone had kissed and sucked at the flesh for too long a period of time._

_With shaking hands he loosed the towel around his waist a bit, his head started to ring in alarm when he looked down at himself, only to find those suspicious little marks reached well below his waist, leaving traces even in certain embarrassingly intimate places._

_Before that, the blond didn't have enough energy to wonder why he had woken up naked, why he had felt so strange when he opened his eyes this morning nor why his muscles became so sore and stirred, why it felt utterly strange whenever he moved his limbs. The hangover had numbed his thoughts, made him insensitive to many things which should long threw a bombshell on him. The only dull thought that crossed his tired mind was that maybe the wild night out was to blame for all of his discomfort in the morning, but....the blond wasn't a fool, with his mind being shocked into quick soberness, he knew a night of hard drinking and partying alone could hardly land him to such a state, there must be something more._

_Plus there were other traces too, all hinting at something which Saga dreaded to recall. Like......why would there be a suspicious trail of wetness_ down there _?_

_Soundlessly, the loosed bathroom towel fell to the floor. Saga felt his legs trembling under him, out of control. He feared he would collapse, therefore he leaned back to the wall behind him for support before it was too late. His heart was beating like a drum out of dread, taking in deep breath the teen reached a hand down to his inner thighs, where he could sense the presence of suspicious wetness._

_A sharp gasp could be heard echoing off within the tiny bathroom as Saga's worst fear was confirmed._

_***_

_Minutes later, Saga locked himself up inside the shower, with warm water running down from the shower-head, the teen sat on the tiled floor, his head bowing, his thin form leaned numbly against the wet wall as if the last of his strength had already been pumped out._

_The warm water from above was still beating down on his bare skin, soaking him from head to toes, but Saga didn't mind it, he needed to wash himself, wanting to wash away all traces of evidence about last night._

_The blond knew he had messed up big this time, from all the evidence he had already gathered, it looked like he had had sex last night._

_What frightened him more than the fact that he might have sex the other night, was the fact that for the life in him,_ he could barely remember any detail of what had actually happened. __

_How did he get himself into this situation? The teen tried to recall events from yesterday, but whenever he focused too much on gripping pieces of broken off memories, his headache would only worsen._

_It took a very long time before fragments of memory about last night slowly fell into places, Miyavi's party, the dancing, Yuki's reddened, grinning face and the glass filled with vodka......Yes the evil liquor, now at least he knew to what he should blame his handover with._

_Obviously he had drank more than he should have to earn his discomfort in the next morning, still it didn't explain why he would end up like_ this _......so what had happened after he accepted the drinks?_

_More pieces of memory flashed through his mind this time, he could now remember Tora appeared from nowhere all of a sudden, then came more choppy images and events that failed to add up. He remembered Tora standing before him, and then there was the breathtaking kiss between him and his older cousin--_

_Wait---was that 'memory' his drunken mind playing tricks with him?! Him and Tora...kissing, that seemed so unrealistic!_

_But the kissing part became the lesser of his worry when more images flowed slowly back to his mind, somehow he had gone home, Tora was also there with him (Did it mean the older boy had taken him home?), they were alone. Then the scene in his memory shifted to his own darkened bedroom, for some reason Tora was again still there. Plus there were some vague memories of the two of them talking even though Saga, for the life in him, couldn't recall a single thing they'd talked about. Much to the blond's horror, what he did remember was Tora lying on top of him, their faces mere inches from each other, and then.......and then there came even more kissing......Oh goodness! What was he thinking when he allowed this to happen?_

_To poor Saga, nothing was making sense and his memory didn't just stop there. Those resurfaced memories were like free-falling bombs dropped on his head, they were also like an unstopping great flood, causing the protective dam in Saga's memory to be overwhelmed and broken down, more shocking images were resurfacing now with alarming speed. Why Tora was taking his clothes off? Why did he just let him do it? Why instead of pushing Tora away he was clinging to the older boy as if his dear life depended on it?_

_Although most of the detail was still missing, but by now there was no denying the one very fact, that he had had sex with_ Tora _, his own cousin last night. But why would such thing ever happen? Why would he allow it to happen?! What was Tora thinking when all the mess took place?_

_And what did Tora say when they were.....together? In his vague memory, Tora seemed to have said something to him, but what did Tora say? It must be something that matter, the blond didn't understand why he could be so certain, but this was a gut feeling from within, telling him it was important for him to recall Tora's words. Unfortunately, Saga's head began to ring as he tried hard to memorize the raven head's words._

_With great difficulty, in Saga's head Tora's words slowly fell into places…...he remembered Tora being upset about him not remembering things. And then shortly afterward he could hear the raven haired teen growling:_ 'Just Forget it' _......?_

_Forget it? Forget...what!? The blond couldn't recall what had caused Tora to burst out such absurd demand out of the blue._

_Wast did that mean...? Did it mean Tora request him to...forget everything? Was it what Tora trying to emphasize?_

_Forgetting everything that took place in that night was impossible, even their drunkenness wouldn't be enough to do the trick. Tora couldn't be foolish enough to really wish for this to happen, still......_

_Perhaps Tora even want him to pretend nothing had happened afterward? Was it what Tora really asking for?_

_Stream of water ran down his cheeks before it dropped to his bare chests and seeped away. His eyes were bloodshot but Saga didn't cry. No, as messed up as he was now, he wouldn't allow himself to cry over something like this, not over Tora._

_The blond had one or two boyfriends before, but he had never gone all the way during their brief relationships. His first relationship ended due to some stupid argument, it last only for less than a month. About a year and a half ago, his second and so-far the latest relationship had came to an end when his then-boyfriend and his family moved to another region and the boy had to transform to new school. Both breakups saddened him, but no breakups nor failed relationship in the past could compare to what Saga experienced in the morning after the night of Miyavi's grand party._

_Simply put, Saga was shattered._

_Tora had told him to forget it, therefore it didn't take a rocket scientist to understand what the raven head truly meant._

_Saga knew that to his older cousin, their affair should only last for one night and nothing more, despite the blond's own feeling. So it didn't surprise him all that much when Tora acted like nothing had ever happened starting from Day 1 and had been avoiding him more than ever, ever since that night._

to be continued...  
Well, what do you think?


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saga then opened his mailbox, there were five new messages, all of them were from Shou. The first one was an anxious question asking for Saga's where about, was he okay; the second one was just the same, the third one was an apology:
> 
> _Im sorry_

** Chapter 19A **

 

After leaving the restroom, Saga hurried to find one of the most private, quiet corners he knew in school. Although he felt quite dizzy, still the urge to get away from everyone was strong, he did not want to slow down his pace.

Turning the last corner, the blond walked quickly toward his destination: the library.

The school's library only opened half-day during weekend, when Saga arrived it was half an hour before closing time, the place was mostly empty. The blond teen found an unoccupied table by the windows, he sat down staring at the empty tabletop before him. Yes, he didn't bring any book or notes with him for his goal of coming here was to be alone, clearing his own thoughts other than reading or studying for real.

At first the blond just sat there, looking at the table with a blank look on his face. It took more than 5 minutes before it became clear to Saga that the flat wooden surface of the library's table would not magically change its outlook anytime soon, then did he gave up trying to burn holes upon the table with his laser eyes. 

Leaning forward to bury his face into his two palms, Saga tried once more to focus and think about what to do next. Solution was what he desperately needed now, but no matter how hard he try to find a solution, things only seemed to get further and further out of hand.

He was still at loss, he didn't even know how to react to the messy situation he had just found himself in. He didn't know how he felt about Shou's unexpected confession.

He didn't even know how to face Shou....nor Tora.

One thing he was certain of, wast that facing Tora any time too soon would not do him much good, not after the aftermath of Shou's confession and the incident in the infirmary. Saga knew he wasn't ready, didn't know _when_ he would ever be ready to face Tora with ease.

But Shou was another story, the blond did not have the heart to just...avoid Shou and give him no response. It would be an insult to his friend's feelings.

Feelings.....

Yes, Saga couldn't pretend to be ignorant of his best friend's feeling, not after what had happened between them today. There was no going back. No way for them to go back to how things once used to before everything happened. Despite how Saga might wish for their relationship to remain unchanged, still he must soon give Shou an answer. He couldn't just leave Shou behind without coming clean with his friend; otherwise his hesitation would hurt Shou as a result.

With his mind made up, Saga fished out his cell from his pocket. Once opened his phone, already there was a flashing signal popping up to remind him there were eight missed calls, and new messages in his mailbox.

All of the missed calls were from Shou.

Saga then opened his mailbox, there were five new messages, all of them were from Shou. The first one was an anxious question asking for Saga's where about, was he okay; the second one was just the same, the third one was an apology:

_Im sorry_

 

The blond didn't move on to check the remaining messages, for it was already clear to him how worry Shou had been for him. Plus he didn't deserve Shou's apology. Shou didn't do anything wrong.

Since he couldn't make phone call inside the library, Saga started quietly tying his text message for Shou after making sure no one was watching. He wanted to let his friend know that he was alright.

_shou  
its me saga_

He typed the first short message, then added another.

_I'm okay so dun worry ab me_

A few minutes later, Saga's cell started to vibrate----good thing that he'd long set the cell into the silent mode before his stepped into Mrs. Suzuki's office, he looked down at the screen and wasn't surprised to find the caller was Shou.

straightening up, Saga exited the library as quickly as he could. He pressed the button as soon as slipped through the library's front door. He hurried toward a deserted corner so no one would see him using the cell phone within school area.

"Hello?"

"Is that you, Saga?" Shou's familiar voice came through. 

"Yes." The blond answered quietly.

Then there was a pause before he heard Shou spoke again.

"So where are you? I had been looking for you everywhere--""

"I..." Saga's voice seemed to choke at his throat. He knew he should just tell Shou of his where about, it shouldn't be so difficult to answer. But from somewhere deep inside him, the thought of seeing Shou made his heart race with an irrepressible urge to run away and hide.

In the past, Shou had never made him react like this before.

"Please, we need to talk." 

His surrounding was so quiet that Saga could almost swear he could hear the vague sound of Shou's breathing through the cell phone. And Saga found his own breath unexpectedly caught as his brown haired friend pleaded softly. 

" I need to talk to you. So please---"

"......Not now!"

Saga's reply rushed out from his dry throat almost instantly, his voice much louder than he had intended to be. Therefore in the next second the volume of his voice dropped as he continued. "I...I mean, I need time to think things over."

Shou had previously promised to wait for Saga to give him the answer, but the brown haired teen never mentioned he would wait _for how long_ , but after having done receiving Shou's confession, confronting Tora at the schoolyard, fainting, waking up and then puking at the restroom, Saga honestly hadn't ever enough time to pause for a second to figure out what was there between him and Shou. He needed to by some time first.

There was a longer pause stretching in between them before Shou replied, heaving a sigh---not a deep, heavy sigh but it was still audible through the phone.

"...I understand."

"Thanks." The blond replied with a small sigh of relief. "I will meet you tomorrow at......" 

For a moment Saga was in loss of words, he smoothed his hair back with his fingers nervously as he struggled to think of a suitable place to set up his meeting with Shou. If only he could come up with a location where they could talk privately......then a thought popped up in his mind, the blond then told Shou the name of the location he had in mind, and the time they were supposed to meet before hanging up. 

Putting the cell back to his pocket, Saga thought it would be best for him to leave the school, after all it was already passed midday and he wasn't feeling all that great after the vomiting.

His groaning stomach reminded Saga that he hadn't been eating since early this morning and now it would be best if he left the school and found himself some snacks on the way home.

Walking downstairs, Saga started to make his way to the school's front gate, on his way there he walked pass a couple of students but they weren't anyone he knew and none of them paid attention to him. For a moment he wondered whether Shou was still in school. He hadn't thought of asking Shou's where about during the phone call.

He paused, looking down at his watch, finding that it was almost an hour after he woke up in the infirmary, the chance of Shou still being here seemed quite thin.

For a moment, the blond came close to making contact with Shou again--or at least texting the brown haired teen once more, but once he passed the front gate of the school, all the thought of contacting his friend slipped away from his mind as soon as he found Mrs. Amano waiting there for him. She was sitting inside her car--- her husband's gift from a few years ago. Sagae had always thought it was a fine choice, the vehicle was delicate, small in build but highly effective, the same like its owner.

"Aunt! What are you doing here?" Saga gasped in surprise. In the morning he took a ride to school instead of going by public transport, just as Mrs. Amano insisted. So he had expected to meet with only the chauffeur when he left school, but not with Mrs. Amano herself.

"I'm worrying about you, and that meeting with your headteacher." Mrs. Amano answered as she rolled her side of the window further down. "Therefore I came here to pick you up as soon as I could."

"It's okay. Mrs Suzuki, she was very..." Saga replied in what he hoped was an reassuring tone. "...understanding."

Relief was clear in her voice when Mrs. Amano spoke again. "You'll have to tell me all about that later, but now, come with me."

Saga entered the vehicle and sat down on the passenger seat, then he asked his aunt where they were going, while fastening his seat-belt. 

"First we're going for lunch, you must be hungry!" The older woman replied cheerfully as she started the engine. "And then...you'll accompany me to meet Mrs. Sumimoto."

Saga nodded in agreement, even though he had no idea who Mrs. Sumimoto was. One of his aunt's lady friends? Perhaps.

After that Saga dutifully informed his aunt about his meeting with the headteacher---but wisely skipping the whole episode of Shou's confession and its aftermath, and the incident of his fainting. He didn't want his aunt to start worrying all over again.

Mrs. Amano listened as she drove, nodding now and then with a thoughtful look on her face, taking in all the new information. Since the school's authority was now being informed of Saga's condition, then Mrs. Amano knew she must ready herself for the next round of negotiation with the school. Her nephew had already done his part and now it was time for adults to shoulder part of the hardship. She was almost certain that the dealing with the school's authority would be a bit of sticky business to deal with. 

She did not share her thoughts with her nephew, right now she was unwilling to add extra weight to the blond teen's worry. With the condition of him being pregnant, Saga had already had enough of nervousness during the meeting with his headteacher this morning.

But her mood was lightened as soon as she thought about what she had planned ahead, the activities they would have after lunch, it would be such a nice...surprise for Saga, and also......

"We're almost there!" Mrs. Amano smiled as she drove along the road, getting closer to the restaurant which she previously had a table for three booked.

"We'll get our table first, Tora is going to join us!"

Next to her, Saga's jaw nearly fell to the floor in shock. **"He what!?"**

to be continued at Part 19b

Anyway, this chapter is my no.1000 Deviation on dA!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It really would be easier to admit having a love child than to admitting he had ever said such a thing to Tora, of all people.

** Chapter 19B **

 

As soon as Mrs. Amano parked her car in front of their destination and started urging Saga to follow her into the restaurant, the blond almost wanted to break into a run. The urge was strong, but after a brief mental struggle with himself, the teen decided to man up and prepare himself to face the unavoidable.

_It's just lunch, and then it'll be over very soon_... It was what Saga kept telling himself as the two of them walked further into the restaurant. Still, his throat tightened as he thought of facing Tora so very _soon_ , plus his aunt would also be right in front of them. One wrong move, then all of his careful disguises would crumble down. Goodness, he could already imagine how awkward the situation would be.

Why Tora would ever agree to such gathering? As illogical as it might be, the blond couldn't help putting the blame on his brunet cosin. Though he always knew that Tora rarely went against his mother. Unlike her husband who always had a hard time holding his temper whenever Tora was concerned, Mrs. Amano seemed to have an easy, mysterious (at least that was how it looked to Saga) way to bent her stubborn second son to her will without even raising her voice.

Saga was so distracted by his own thoughts that he failed to notice his surrounding, he didn't notice he was stepping into a family style restaurant with nice looking green-themed furniture and wallpaper, the wooden flooring underfoot added to the warm feeling which seemed to float in the air. There was also a small garden outside of the large windows just opposite of the entrance. Daylight from the garden poured into the main hall while a handful the customers sitting around their tables, enjoying their lunches in leisure. 

Obviously Mrs. Amano wasn't an unfamiliar face in this restaurant, because the middle-aged waiter who came out to greet them, seemed to know her well enough. The two of them chatted rather cheerfully even during their short walk from the entrance into the dinning hall. Soon they were guided toward a square table facing the garden outside, slightly apart from where the other costumers sat. 

The teen took his seat beside his aunt, soon after that Mrs. Amano started ordering their food. Saga simply nodded whenever his aunt suggested a dish without thinking about it first, His stomach seemed to knot so tightly that even the promise of lunch failed to cheer him up.

Shortly after Mrs. Amano finished ordering their meal, the moment which Saga dreaded so much, finally arrived.

Tora, who was still in his school uniform, appeared at the entrance. In a closer look, Saga noticed the brunet teen's tie was loosed and the first two buttons of his shirt were also unbuttoned.The raven haired youth walked through the front door, shaking his head in disapproval as a waiter came up and tried to show him the way in. Instead the brunet walked right past the waiter and into the hall, he looked around uncertainly at the costumers in the hall, obviously looking for his mother.

Saga could only guess when had Tora been informed about this rendezvous, he could only imagining his aunt calling Tora about the same time she appeared in front of the school gate. Did he know Saga would accompany her here. He wondered how did Tora feel if he knew, surely his cousin wouldn't have reacted too well to _that_.

His question was answered the moment Tora caught sight of his mother and Saga sitting around the square table. When the older boy realized Saga was sitting there with Mrs. Amano, the look of surprise was obvious on this face. Even from a distance, Tora's expression told Saga that he didn't want to see him here, not really. Plus it also became clear that once catching sight of his cousin, Tora had no interest in hanging around. If it was up to him, he would just flee right then and there.

But Tora was no fool. Instead of throwing a fit in public, the brunet quickly schooled his face into neutrality. His eyes caught Saga's for a moment, Tora's face was unreadable while Saga looked up, pleading with his eyes silently for the brunet to just try playing along, at least for his aunt's sake.

The blond teen didn't know whether Tora understood what he was trying to express, but when Tora reached their table, the raven haired teen was greeting his mother normally as though nothing was exchanged previously between him and Saga.

Mrs. Amano tried to start a conversation, but neither of the boys were able to chat with much optimism. Keeping his eyes downcast, Saga cut his food into tiniest bites then moved them slowly around in the plate, hardly eating anything; when he did he could barely taste what had just slipped down his throat.

Tora looked even less interested in the meal placed in front of him nor engaging himself in conversations, he rarely spoke, replying most of his mother's speeches with a nod or a shrug; his gaze slipped everywhere but Saga's direction. The food in his plate appeared to be quite untouched.

The blond wondered what his aunt was up to by summoning Tora. He stole a glance at his cousin, but regretted his action almost instantly as his sight fell accidentally on the older boy's lips and he found himself recalling those pair of lips pressed against his. The memory of it made his face flushed hotly in embarrassment.

Out of the blue, Saga heard his aunt's cell ringing. Mrs. Amano picked up her cell quickly and answered it. Then before neither him nor Tora could react, she was standing up, murmured a vague 'Excuse me' before leaving the boys behind while still speaking to her caller.

In one hand, Tora paid little attention to his mother leaving. He merely looked up for a second, before dropping his gaze back to his cup of coffee.

On the other hand, Saga stared at his aunt as she disappeared into the garden just outside of the restaurant, away from his sight. If he had been nervous before, now with Mrs. Amano being absent and him being left alone with Tora, the blond now felt like he was one step away from a nervous breakdown. The squared table which once seemed so spacey, now felt so small, so narrow all of a sudden, not enough to separate him and Tora.

Still he felt like he needed to say something.So he began hesitatingly. "Ano..."

And right when he says that, Tora speaks up too. Something blunt like, "Why are you here with Mother? Did she pick you up? Why didn't she tell me anything about you joining the lunch?"

Saga looked up shapely, taken off guard by Tora's accusing words. He could feel the faint blush across his cheeks deepening as a mixture of annoyance and nervousness swell in his chest.

"She didn't say you will be here, neither!" The blond found himself replying through clenching teeth.

"Well then, why did she gather us here now? Such a waste of time," Added the taller teen under his breath.

"How would I know!?" Saga almost hissed, he hated it when people blamed him for things he couldn't control, like Tora was doing right now.

Tora gritted his teeth, supressing his annoyance at the current situation. He never looked Saga in the eye as he spoke; the surroundings seemed more interesting to him, for some reason.

Stirring his coffee absent-mindedly, Tora muttered, "Honestly, I'd rather not be here. But Mother will get mad at me if I just leave. So..." he trailed off, "... we're already here, anyway."

Saga nodded unwillingly in response to the brunete's statement. Yes, neither of them wanted to be put into this situation, but here they were. What was there for them to do? What should they say to each other now?

"What's with you and Shou actually?" Tora spoke up all of a sudden.

"Huh!?" Saga gasped loudly, he was utterly confused by what Tora had just said. "What did you say?"

"I said, what's between you and Shou?" Tora repeated in a tone that people would use when speaking to children, as he tapped his fingers against the table.

"None--It's none of your business!" Saga replied in a defensive tone, the words slipped pass his lips thoughtlessly.

"Wha-- Of course it is!" Tora narrowed his eyes, his expression a mixture of impatience and amusement. "What makes you think it isn't my business?"

"Jus---just because it isn't!" Saga countered loudly with self abandonment ."Why would you bother anyway!? Just...... _why bother_? You don't care about me anyway!"

Tora was at a loss for words. It took him a long moment to think of a comeback.

"Who said I don't?" For a moment Tora's face seemed to twist when he uttered those words, but he quickly schooled his expression back to his mask of calmness and arrogance.

"I just know you don't! Don't bother pretending you care! And right now......" Saga took a long slow breath before speaking again. "I have nothing to say to you."

Then the blond turned his face away from Tora stubbornly, but the next thing he knew, Tora's fingers grasped the bottom of his chin and turned him to look back forcefully--not enough to cause pain but determined nonetheless.

"Hey! What do you want now!?" With a pause, Saga began to try pulling Tora's hand away with his both hands, but he only succeed in having his wrist caught by the taller boy.

" _But you said you like me!_ "

A stunned silence dropped down on them both as soon as Tora uttered this angry-sounding statement. They stared at each other in disbelief. Saga was shocked into speechlessness by his cousin's unexpected claim, while Tora was taken aback by what had just slipped pass his lips. For his own words sounded oddly similar to what a bitterly rejected loser would say to the girl who turned him down.

"What?" Saga felt his eyes were going to pop out of his sockets. "What are you talking about?"

It really would be easier to admit having a love child than to admitting he had ever said such a thing to Tora, of all people.

Tora was equally shocked and embarrassed by his own words, the shock was so great that he unconsciously loosed his hold on the younger teen without knowing what he was doing. He didn't expect himself to bring this issue up, but now he had to carry on since there was no way he could back off now.

"I heard you that one time. And I damn well know what I'd heard!"

"But it doesn't count!" Saga spat out without any second thought, desperate to deny any consent in saying _that_ to his older cousin. If he had ever said such thing, it would only because he wasn't in his right mind, he couldn't believe Tora would hold him responsible for his drunken talk......in case he _really_ did let his mouth slip when he was drunk.

"Very well." Tora replied with irony clear in his tone, his voice turning flat and impassive, lacing with suppressed anger. He crossed his arms before his chest. "I see that you have forgotten what you had ever said, just like I knew you would!"

Saga didn't know what to say. He didn't understand why Tora was behaving like this, why he was so pissed off, accusing him for not remembering. But what had Tora been expecting? What was there to remember?

Was he mishearing, or was there a hint of hurt…...betrayal in Tora's voice?

However, before neither of them could say anything, they were forced to break off and fall back to their seats because both of them caught sight of Mrs. Amano's approaching figure almost at the same time. Only sheer instinct and quick-reaction helped to save them from blowing their cover.

Mrs. Amano, who was in an ever more cheerful mood than before, failed to notice the tension between the two boys when she came back to join in.

"Finished?" The older woman asked them as she sat down. "If you're done, gentlemen; then we should get going."

"But--where're we going, aunt?"

"To visit Mrs. Sumimoto, of course!"

"Why?" Tora asked suspiciously with a knot between his fine brows.

"Why what, my child? It's for the dress-fitting of _your wedding_ , of course! Mrs. Sumimoto, a dear friend of mine, had agreed to design the customs for you two!"

This time both Tora and Saga cried out at once. **"What!?"**

to be continued.

What do you think?


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Two weeks and a half! That leaves me so little time to work on the wedding clothes!" Mrs. Sumimoto complained halfheartedly, throwing the older woman a playful wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. Sumimoto's villa is inspired by the Paris fashion salon in Mario Bava's Italian thriller "Hatchet For The Honeymoon" and "Blood and Black Lace"; both are Mr. Bava's beautiful, murderous and stylish works of mayhem.

** Chapter 20A **

 

After the boys' outburst, there was a stunned silence around the table.

Mrs. Amano stared at them with widened eyes, caught between shock and bewilderment. However she might imagine them to react, she had never expected to receive such an reaction. 

She sat back with confusion clouded her face; her eyes fixing on her son and nephew as if she was trying to read their expressions, while she carefully chose her words. "But......darlings, I don't think I understand."

Saga was the first one to recover from the shock that his aunt's announcement had brought, realizing if he didn't say something, then their cover would be blown then and there. Both him and Tora were too taken aback by the surprise that they failed to recall they should be playing their parts as two betrothed, who were expected to be wedded in the near future--a near future which Saga was still afraid to think of. And for a pair who were looking forward to the wedding, they should not act like they _did not_ want to have a dress-fitting.

If they showed their true feeling now, if Mrs. Amano realized the two of them were hiding something and found out they were not actually looking forward to the wedding, then all hell would break loose.

Now it was all up to him to act quickly, to clear his aunt's mind of suspicion. 

Seeing no escape from this situation----or should he say, his latest episode of ordeal--Saga tried to steel himself to face the circumstance. He turned to Tora, just in time to see the taller boy opening his mouth, about to say something. Knowing Tora, Saga's instinct told him that his cousin was going to say something highly inappropriate, so he did the only thing he could to shut the raven haired teen up.

He kicked Tora under the table.

He was glad that the tablecloth was long enough so no one could see what he was doing.

Pain flashed through Tora's face for an instant, and it did not escape Mrs. Amano's notice.

Mrs. Amano raised an eyebrow in concern, the uncertainty in her eyes deepened. "Tora, is something......wrong?"

"No!" Tora denied immediately, the brunet was too prideful a person to allow himself to be 'defeated' in front of his mother. "No, I'm fine. I am just---"

"Yes." Saga cut right into the conversations. " He's just going to tell you that we're definitely going!" 

His voice was much louder than he had originally intended it to be, it was also unnaturally high-pitched, much to his chagrin he thought he sounded like some excited girl. 

It didn't help that seconds later, Saga discovered he had unconsciously gripped Tora's hand, which was rested on the table. They hands locked tightly together for a moment longer, both he and Tora gazed at their entwined hands in awkwardness before the blond shyly withdrew his own hand. 

If Mrs. Amano was still suspecting anything, she didn't show it. Instead smile was returning to her face now. 

Ten minutes later, they left the restaurant and headed to Mrs. Sumimoto's.

***

The three members of the Amano family arrived at Mrs. Sumimoto's hillside villa in the afternoon---which turned out also served as Mrs. Sumimoto's fashion salon. According to her previous arrangement with Mrs. Amano, the famed designer would meet them there. 

Saga didn't expect it, he had thought the designer in question would only meet them in her own shop. Later he would learn that since Mrs. Amano was such a close friend to Mrs. Sumimoto, therefore the latter insisted on receiving them in her own salon, where many of her best wedding clothes were tried, displayed and photoed by famous models.

Mrs. Sumimoto's villa turned out to be a sensation. It was a two floors Western-style building, surrounded by a blooming garden, though they didn't spend time admiring the villa's impressive outlook. Upon arrival, the trio were accompanied by a maid who dressed in a traditional English maid custom to the main hall, where their hostess waited. 

The hall was not so different from those of the other well-off families', but Mrs. Sumimoto had set up various of sweet-smelling bouquets to ornament the surrounding, the designer also had a nice selection of large, framed photographs of her works on display. There were a few mannequins, wearing her latest summer collection of wedding dresses, placed next to a set of huge sofas made of rich crimson velvet. 

Mrs. Sumimoto was a woman in her early thirty. She wore a summer dress of light organ color, her long dark hair pinned neatly behind her ears. For a fashion designer, she was more ordinarily dressed than Saga would have expected.

The designer stood up as soon as she saw her guests arrived, then she greeted her friend Mrs. Amano warmly before she looked pass her and turned her attention to the two youngsters, who were still awkwardly hovering by the entrance of the hall, carefully staying a few feet apart from one another.

With a kind smile, Mrs. Sumimoto greeted Saga first after both she and Mrs. Amano turned to face the boys. "You must be Saga, right? Nice to meet you." 

"N---Nice to meet you, Mrs. Sumimoto." The blond replied uncertainly, still nervous about the upcoming dress-fitting. Not able to know what to expect made it difficult to interact with Mrs. Sumimoto normally.

But Saga's awkwardness didn't seem to trouble Mrs. Sumimoto, next she moved on to greet Tora.

"And you, the handsome groom-to-be, Tora-san. Am I right?"

To that question, Tora could only forced a smile, out of politeness.

Then the designer took a step or two backward, eyeing the two boys up and down with interest. 

"You two look great standing together like this. Even when you're only wearing your uniforms!" After a long moment, she commented with a smile of amusement. "Imagine how it would be like to have you two all dressed up! What a lovely scene it would make! I'm sure I'll enjoy working with you."

Before neither Tora nor Saga could react, the hostess urged her three guests to take their seats on the sofa, soon tea and snacks were served. Once making sure her guests were made comfortable, Mrs. Sumimoto started asking questions such as the date, time and location of the wedding, would the wedding be hosted outdoor or indoor; did they had any wedding theme in mind, etc. Mrs. Amano answered those questions with ease, feeding whatever detail she thought was important to the designer.

"The wedding will take place in two weeks and a half." Mrs. Amano informed her friend.

"Two weeks and a half! That leaves me so little time to work on the wedding clothes!" Mrs. Sumimoto complained halfheartedly, throwing the older woman a playful wink.

_Two weeks and a half_... Saga repeated those words in his mind with a sinking feeling in his stomach. As strange as it might sound, the quick approaching of 'the big day' still caught him off guard. Perhaps deep down, he still was not ready to admit that he would soon face his own wedding, very soon.

Two weeks and a half, that was all the time he was left with.

Saga guessed he must have spaced out for a while because all of a sudden, the next thing he knew Mrs. Sumimoto was standing up and a group of women who seemed to be her assistants, appeared behind her.

"So let's not waste any time! We should start working at once!" Mrs. Sumimoto announced cheerfully, waving a hand at one of the assistants, the young assistant then in turn came forward to Tora, urging him to stand up.

With more hesitation than Saga had ever seen on his older cousin's face, Tora followed the assistant as she led him to a hallway nearby, they were also followed by the other assistants, soon the group all disappeared into one of the rooms down the hallway. 

Saga watched on in confusion, and as if reading the unspoken questions in his mind, Mrs. Sumimoto grinned and said to him: "Don't you worry, darling. They're only taking your fiancé for his measurement! And you, will be next!"

The blond let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He had never had his clothes tailor-made for him before, nor did he ever went through a measurement, but what could go wrong during an measurement? 

Then Mrs. Sumimoto also left her own seat before she excused herself from her guests' presence.

"Now you two must excuse me, I must overlook the measurement and.....let's see if I can come up with some inspiration!"

Soon Saga was left behind with his aunt. Saga sank into the sofa, as much as he wanted to relax, still he began to feel quite uneasy about this whole measurement business.

to be continued.  
What do you think!?


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As much as Tora wanted to deny it, still it hurt to hear frist hand that Saga didn't recall any of the things he had said, or was in perfect denial mode because he was too chicken to admit his very own words.

** Chapter 20B **

 

Once Mrs. Sumimoto departed, Mrs. Amano and her nephew were more or less left by themselves, the maid who tended to them had politely retreated with a bow once she finished refilling their cups. 

In order to clean his mind of worry, Saga started to admire Mrs. Sumimoto's photos collection, those photos were filled with different pairs of men and women in fine wedding clothes. At first he thought these people must be models but he soon realized these were photos of various pairs in their actual wedding days. He could only guess that these photos were from Mrs. Sumimoto's past clients. The first photo showed him two silver-haired gentleman, wearing a stylish suits, holding hands as they faced the camera together, smiling big. In the second photo, there were a bride and a groom running down the stairs before a church, the hem of the young bride's stain gown floated behind her like layers of creamy cloud, the happiness and excitement of this newly wedded couple seemed to radiate around them. 

There were more photos, all of them showing newly wedded couples in different locations, wearing costumes of all types and styles, from traditional designs to fairy-tale style of romanticism, to outlandish outfits and funny looking customs which aimed for comical effect. But one thing remained the same: the happiness and bliss that shone on the couples' grinning faces.

Those were faces of people who were obviously in love, and felt certain that their love was returned by their partners.

Saga didn't even believe he could have the fortune to experience the same happiness in his own wedding day. Any thought about that approaching date only filled the pit of his stomach with nervousness and discomfort.

It also made him feel a new overwhelming wave of guilt. His aunt, and now Mrs. Sumimoto, had put so much effort on his wedding, but they didn't even know there was nothing _genuine_ in said wedding.

Unlike those lucky couples in the photos, who worn Mrs. Sumimoto's tailor-made costumes for their wedding days, Saga couldn't expect to find happiness in his own marriage, not when said marriage was built on lies, convenience and pretending. He didn't even feel he deserve to actually be happy on his wedding day. In his mind it was just a day he must go through, the wedding ceremony nothing but a task he must endure. 

Though he couldn't complain, he had chose to go along with the marriage and everything it entailed.

"Aunt..." The blond whispered uncertainly, looking back to Mrs. Amano. "do you think it really is...necessary?"

"What's it, Saga?"

"I mean......asking Mrs. Sumimoto to design the wedding clothes. Isn't it a little bit...too much?"

"What do you mean?"

The blond replied nervously. "Didn't we all agree that the wedding should be........low profiled?"

"I can agree that we don't need to be extravagant, but it doesn't mean we can't carry things through _in style_." Setting her cup down, Mrs. Amano explained with a small frown. "Do you really think I'd allow you to get married in rags, darling?"

"Of course not, I would have never thought that of you...but---"

"You don't have to worry. " Mrs. Amano pointed out. " I know the meeting with your headteacher must be tiring, but Natsumi-san's schedule is so full that she can only arrange to meet us today...and I always want what's best for you, my dear."

Any word of refusal and protest died down right after this, Saga could not disappoint his aunt after she had done making arrangement, contacting friends and connections everywhere, pushing through to VIP such as Mrs. Sumimoto only in order to allow _him_ to have the wedding she thought _he_ deserved. Theoretically she didn't have to do so much, but she did it anyway merely out of love and affection for _him_. It made arguing with her impossible.

***

Tora stood before a full length mirror, stretching his arms and kept them hanging horizontally as Mrs. Sumimoto's assistants worked on him, getting his measurements. Mrs. Sumimoto stood nearby, observing the girls at work, but mostly she watched Tora closely with sketchbook and pencil in hands, studying the boy and his figure like she was viewing the raw material for her next project.

In a sense, it probably wasn't too far from the true.

The raven haired teen tried not to pay too much attention on Mrs. Sumimoto and what she was doing. The fitting room was a quiet place. While they were at work, the assistants worked mostly in silence, they only chatted among themselves when measurements needed to be noted down and when they needed Tora to change his position, or when they needed to ask their boss for advice.

Tora didn't care too much about what they were doing around him, though the lack of conversation bothered him a little and the discomfort of having to stay in the same positions for a long time wasn't helping. Instead he let his thoughts wander elsewhere out of boredom.

His thoughts slowly lingered back to the events which took place in the last few hours. Already he had done fighting with Shou, arguing with Saga, kissed him twice, taking him to the infirmary, only to argue with the blond some more in the restaurant. It was just like one hell of a roller-coaster.

What puzzled him was the fact that hardly any of those events made sense to him, he couldn't make sense of his own feeling, he failed to make sense of how he had reacted to Saga's words.

As much as Tora wanted to deny it, still it hurt to hear frist hand that Saga didn't recall any of the things he had said, or was in perfect denial mode because he was too chicken to admit his very own words.

The rational part of him tried to tell him words were just words. He shouldn't be bothered by what Saga had said. But why couldn't he just let it go? Why he couldn't stand the thought of Saga, saying those sweet things, clinging to him in their private moments, only to deny his words ever had meaning at all, like those little moments between them didn't even worth mentioning? 

All Tora knew was that it actually _hurt_ to be denied like this, like Saga had somehow managed to punch him right in the guts. 

Gosh, the brunet could not even think of anyone in the past, any of his ex-lover who had managed to push all of his wrong buttons.

Relationship could be a messy business for teenagers, with so much unnecessary pain, heartache and inconvenience involved---Tora had learned all these the hard way. But in the past, Tora took pride in being...practical when it came to dating. He had always kept a layback attitude when it came to his girlfriends and the few boyfriends he had gone through. What mattered the most in those past relationships was for the both involved parties to have a good time together. Tora was not a heartbreaker, he didn't cheat or play around with more than one person at one time, he always made sure nobody got hurt in the relationships. In the past, he could always manage to end things peacefully when he got tired of his lovers, or when _they_ grew tired of him. The brunet never felt particularly hurt or upset when his lovers left him, he understood that people did change and feelings would also change as time passed. After all, he had always thought those romantic kissing, holding hands, love at first sight, 'true love' mumbo jumbo were only for girls.

Once, in what seemed like a lifetime ago, Tora did believe in true love, but life had taught him a lesson early on, a lesson which was still too painful for him to even recall. He had swore never to commit the same mistake again, he was so determined to a point that, Tora had always tried to remain as level-headed as he could muster even at the heat of the moment. 

So he could hardly explain to himself why he felt so utterly frustrated when Saga was being just equally level-headed and practical when it came to the messy affair between them. Shouldn't he be glad that his younger cousin was actually making things _easier_ for him? That instead of demanding him to take responsibility for the rest of his life, Saga had offered him a _deal_ , a loophole to escape from humiliation and the worst circumstance--being stuck with an unwanted marriage and a baby, forever--which might very well befell him. From the very start, his younger cousin had made it clear that he didn't really want anything to do with him, not in a long run.

Still.......Saga's calm, businesslike attitude pissed him off so utterly! Maybe that was the reason why he couldn't stop picking on Saga whenever he found a chance to do this. It felt like he was doing it to simply provoke a reaction from the blond other than he actually disliked Saga so much nor he wanted to upset him--

"There you go, we're almost finished, Tora-san."

Suddenly Mrs. Sumimoto's voice jolted Tora out of his long train of thoughts.

For a moment Tora blinked in confusion, only to realize the designer had closed her sketchbook, and her assistants had also finished their tasks.

Tora let out a small sigh of relief, grateful that the fitting was over for him, having to stand for so long and not allowed to move much wasn't funny after all. But when he was about to excuse himself, Mrs. Sumimoto came up with an unexpected question for him:

"I just wonder...Tora-san, have you two bought the wedding rings yet?"

Tora was taken aback. "...What?"

"Your wedding rings." Mrs. Sumimoto explained with patience as if she was stating the most obvious of things. "I'd like to know the design of the rings as soon as possible, so my design and the rings would also fit..."

Tora was dumbfounded, the thought about the wedding rings never once cross his mind.

"...I don't know, not yet..." The brunet replied awkwardly, he wished he could come up with some explanation but couldn't find one.

"What do you mean, you _don't know_?" This time Mrs. Sumimoto's eyes went wide. "But it's important! You'd better figure this out fast, young man! Your fiance would be happy to receive a lovely ring, on the wedding day!"

"Really?" Tora raised an eyebrow with skepticism. Despite how feminine Saga might look sometime, he was definitely no girl. So it was difficult to imagine the blond rejoiced at the sight of a mere ring, that sounded really cliche.

The designer gave the teen a mischievous smile. "And you even can make it a surprise for him..."

to be continued!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Tora being casual and friendly toward the young assistant, Saga suddenly felt a dull ache pierced at his chest, as if all air had been sucked out of his lungs, making it difficult to breathe; and he didn't know why he was feeling this way.

** Chapter 20C **

 

When they heard the sound of doors being opened and footsteps echoing along the hallway, Saga realized his cousin must have finished his fitting section and soon it would be his turn. He turned his head toward the hallway, while Mrs. Amano did just the same in anticipation. 

It did not take long for Tora to reappear, but what surprised Saga was the cheerful expression on Tora's face. Instead of the blank, bored expression he always put up when Saga was around, now Tora was laughing with a young woman who walked side by side with him. Saga recognized the girl as one of Mrs. Sumimoto's younger assistants. 

The girl was still giggling when she entered the hall with Tora, probably still amused by some jokes the raven haired teen had shared with her.

Seeing Tora being casual and friendly toward the young assistant, Saga suddenly felt a dull ache pierced at his chest, as if all air had been sucked out of his lungs, making it difficult to breathe; and he didn't know why he was feeling this way. 

He only knew he didn't like what he had seen.

At least, when the young assistant approached them, she remembered to shift her girlish giggles back to a polite, impersonal smile. She bowed to Mrs. Amano as Tora came back to join his mother, before she guided Saga to follow her to the fitting room.

***

With Mrs. Sumimoto watching him with interest, Saga couldn't help but feeling self-conscious. His nervousness only seemed to grow after the fitting started. Soon enough, he was surrounded by Mrs. Sumimoto's assistants, they had to stood close to him while taking his measurements, their hands brushed across his clad-limbs and torso now and then, even though he understood the touch wasn't purposeful, he still needed to often remind himself not to let his muscle tense so much to a point that it might affect the measurements. 

He really wasn't use to it, although Mrs. Sumimoto seemed to be really enjoying it as she took notes and drew some quick sketches on her book while her assistants worked on Saga. It made him wonder what the older woman had in mind for his wedding clothes. What would she see fit to dress him up with? To be honest, after seeing those photos of Mrs. Sumimoto's past clients and her many awesome designs; the blond couldn't help being curious about what she would come up with.....for his own wedding day. The thought filled him with both curiosity and uneasiness. 

His nervousness didn't go unnoticed by Mrs. Sumimoto. 

"Try to relax more, Saga-san." The designer suggested, while still busily drawing the raw outlines of her latest design. "In my experience, good works come front only when my clients are feeling good about themselves!"  
"Okay..." Saga obeyed by trying to will his muscles to relax, even though feeling good about himself was far from how he actually felt right now.

The blond was so focused on trying to be relaxed he almost missed Mrs. Sumimoto's question.

"......for your wedding, do you want to wear a dress?"  
"Wait, what did you say?" The blond was startled by the sudden mention of a dress.  
"I asked: do you want to wear a wedding dress for the ceremony?" Mrs. Sumimoto repeated.  
"But I'm a boy!" Saga cried out in shock.  
"Boy or girl, does it really matter that much?" The designer grinned, she signaled her assistants to stop their work before she handed Saga a bridal fashion magazine. 

Saga looked at the front cover in puzzlement. The magazine's front cover was taken up by a pair of beautifully dressed models who posed as bride and groom standing together, wearing wedding clothes which was cleverly costumed with designs based on traditional Western wedding gowns. At first Saga couldn't pinpoint what Mrs. Sumimoto had wanted him to see, but he realized what was the deal after looking closely at the models.

Judging from the certain curves the model had and the telltale soft facial feature of said model's face, Saga realized that tall, darkly handsome model who posed as a groom in a tuxedo was in fact an young woman; while her partner, the delicate 'bride' who wore fine make-up and clad in a pure white fairy tale princess style wedding dress, was in fact a teenage male model.

Saga turned the pages, there were about five or six more photographs with the same pair of models in different poses and settings, but what impressed the blond most was how natural and comfortable the pair looked in those photos, despite of their cross-dressing. The 'groom' stood tall and confident, fully capable of bringing every admirer to his or her kneels with one 'don't give a darn' lazy gaze; while the 'bride' looking sweet and tender like a fragile china doll, but just as equally bewitching as his partner.

Now Saga understood what Mrs. Sumimoto wanted to express: with the magical touch of finely designed outfit and make-up, boys could look just as stunning as girls. Plus in a time that same sex marriage had been legalized, cross-dressing wedding gowns weren't something unheard of. But he was still surprised that the designer actually thought he was fit enough to handle a _wedding dress_ without embarrassing the hell out of himself.

He briefly recalled Hizaki, one of his schoolmates who were famous throughout the school for his determination and effort to transform himself into a lovely maiden from the 18th century's Versailles court for 24 hours a day. Perhaps Hizaki would rejoice at the thought of a famous designer tailor-made a fancy dress for him, but Saga just couldn't imagine himself dressing like Hizaki or the male model on that magazine's cover. No, Saga didn't dare to think so highly about himself, so regardless of how Mrs. Sumimoto might think, still he must turn down that offer, for his own sake.

The blond quietly placed the magazine down on top of a stool nearby, then turned back to Mrs. Sumimoto with an apologetic smile. "You're very kind, Mrs. Sumimoto. But..."

He moistened his lips as he chose his words. "I'd prefer wearing a suit."

For a moment the older woman looked disappointed, but she lightened up quickly with optimism. "Oh, then I'd have to make one hell of a wedding suit for you, boy!"

It was nice to see Mrs. Sumimoto suddenly looked a decade younger than her actual age when she was excited by her own idea. However, Saga unconsciously took a step back from the older woman as shiver shocked down his spine. He didn't say anything, but he was suddenly nervous, uncertain about what he might end up wearing at the day of the ceremony......Mrs. Sumimoto said it'd be a suit, so it wouldn't be anything too outrageous, right?

To be continued.

Since everyone had commented about Saga in a wedding dress, so I decided to make a joke out of it.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'd like to know the design of the rings as soon as possible, so my design and the rings would also fit..."_ the woman had said directly to him.

** Chapter 21A **

 

Tora thought he was lucky that his mother allowed him to leave ahead. He had a feeling he couldn't endure being near Saga any second longer. It was a good thing, too, that he left before Saga finished his measurements. He didn't want to see Saga's reaction when his cousin found out that he had left ahead without them. Although, Tora was half-sure that Saga's poker face would indicate nothing, let alone disappointment. Tora didn't quite like Saga's attitude recently, whilst he was certain that Saga felt the same about Tora's. Or maybe it was just because Saga had clearly stated that he didn't like Tora during their argument at school earlier. Tora knew he must be acting like a heart-broken teenager, but that was the point. He was still a teenager; nobody should be disappointed at his immature behaviours. What could you expect from a mere teenager, anyway?

_But you're a teenager that would become a dad in a few months to come, Tora!_

Tora hated his brain, sometimes. It always found a way to annoy him. He would like to debate with his brain, but his tired body dismissed the idea. He vaguely noticed that he had reached the main street. He wouldn't hail a cab, not because he didn't bring enough cash, but because he just wanted to kill time by walking. He didn't want to arrive at home that sooner. He had both of his hands shoved inside his school trousers pockets, his school bag hanging comfortably on his left shoulder. The afternoon wind blew in his dark hair, and without glancing at his watch, Tora could tell that it was around 4pm. He had his head bowed down, scrutinising the pavement and how each of his feet would tread on it in synchronisation.

At some point, Tora did lift his head. It was when he noticed that his surroundings had become so crowded, passers-by walking to and fro. He halted, looking around to recognise the location. It was a half-minute later when he realised that he had arrived at the shopping district. He thought for a moment, what he was doing here in the first place. It was true that he didn't pay attention to where his feet had brought him, but why shopping district, of all places? In the end, Tora decided just to go sightseeing and have some fun. He could enter one of the malls there, go to the game center, and play some arcade games.

Tora adjusted the strap of his school bag on his left shoulder, taking a few steps forward when his eyes caught sight of a jewellery shop two stores ahead. The mere sight of the shop had managed to remind him of Mrs. Sumimoto's words at her villa earlier this afternoon.

_"I'd like to know the design of the rings as soon as possible, so my design and the rings would also fit..."_ the woman had said directly to him.

To Tora, it sounded more like an order; the kind of order that he must not ignore. Approaching the jewellery shop, Tora noticed two women in front of the transparent glass window. He noticed how loud they were, squealing over beautiful jewellery that were being displayed. Tora took a step forward, just enough to take a glance at what these two women were viewing. It was a necklace. If it was not because of its pendant, Tora was sure these women wouldn't be _this_ interested. The necklace's pendant was made of sapphire. Tora himself found it beautiful. However, what caught his interest the most was a pair of wedding rings beside the necklace. The rings were also made of sapphire (Tora was not an expert at stone types; he merely read the sign card of each displayed item to figure out what they were made of). The blue colour that came from the stones made Tora think that they would match Saga's eyes, if his cousin were ever to wear the said jewellery.

Almost in an instant, Tora despised his brain for bringing up such thought, also with Saga in it. Retreating from the shop, Tora strode further along, at the same time fishing out his iPhone. He scrolled through his contact list, found Hiroto's number, and dialled it. The device was brought up to his ear, as he listened to the RBT that Hiroto had subscribed. It was a chorus of some FT Island's song, which Tora didn't care to know what the title was, but it sounded good enough in his ear. The dark-haired teen was beginning to assume that his shorter best friend was probably asleep, when suddenly the song stopped and Hiroto's voice answered him from the other line.

_"What's up, Tora?"_  
"Hi, Hiroto. Are you free now? Meet me at…" Tora looked around and spotted a nearby café, "… Gundam Café." (g-cafe.jp/english/index.html)  
 _"That new café at Akihabara? Why in the world do you want us to meet up there, of all places?"_  
"Well, save all questions for later, okay? I just happened to be near this café and I really need to see you now," replied Tora in a rush.  
 _"Okay, okay. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Order what you like, anything would be fine for me. See you soon,"_ and then Hiroto hung up.

Tora pocketed his iPhone and entered the said café. Everything inside the café was full of Gundam-related stuff and Tora wondered if Nao had visited this place or not. His big brother was a huge fan of Gundam, so Tora doubted the older guy would have no knowledge of this café that had first officially opened in April this year. The waiter approached him and Tora couldn't help but think that he looked like an Athrun Zala-wannabe. Tora shrugged; he had known about those maids cafés that applied cosplaying concepts where all waitresses would dress as maids (some even dressed as anime characters). This Gundam Café was probably just the same, Tora thought, as he allowed himself to be guided by the waiter to his table. The waiter explained that they were actually nearing the closing time (Gundam Café was close at 5pm on weekdays), but could still serve a few customers.

"I'm just gonna have a drink while waiting for my friend here," replied Tora, sitting on his chair.  
"Well, then. Let me show you the list of beverages we serve. It's on the back of the menu," said the waiter, motioning towards the menu he had placed on the table.

Tora went straight to the back of the menu.

"We have the—" the waiter started.  
"I'll have this," interjected Tora rather impolitely, pointing at the picture of a cup of coffee that said _JABURO Blend_.  
"Uh, very well. One cup of Jaburo Blend then. Anything else?" asked the waiter again, writing the order on his notebook.  
"Make it two."  
"Two cups of Jaburo Blend, all right. Please wait while we make your order," the waiter bowed once, and then retreated.

After ordering, there was nothing more to do. Just when Tora was fishing out his iPhone in order to play an App or two, he was startled by a loud bang from across the cafe.

"Kaa-san! I WANT IT!"

Tora looked up—just like at least half of the startled customers were also doing, his gaze fell on a little boy who sat just a few tables away, banging his small hands angrily against the table, his short legs kicking in mid-air. The woman who sat next to the little boy—his mother most likely—stared at her son rather helplessly before exchanging a look with the man—the father, who was opposite of her—who looked to be just as lost and frustrated. 

Whilst the young parents were still looking like they had no idea how to deal with their son, the kid pointed a finger at a huge, shiny Gundam figure on display near the wall, and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I WANT THAT BIG ROBERT! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!"

"Tooru, you know we can't have this big toy—" The tired-looking mother tried to reason with the screaming kid, but to no avail. 

Nevertheless, the kid started yelling before she could ever finish. "I don't care! I WANT IT!"

Then, there was more screaming from that bratty kid, and some weak, barely audible pleading and reasoning from the parents alongside it. However, Tora had no interest to listen to their conversations any longer. He had already heard enough.

The black haired teen had never paid attention at how parents interacted with their children in general. Tora only had his own family to compare, but things had never been so... dysfunctional like he had just witnessed within the Amano household, even when Nao and him were just kids. 

Of course, he had no memory earlier than himself being a four or five years old. Therefore, he couldn't tell what it was like when he was just a baby. Still, as far as he could remember, even though his heavy workload and his stirred, old-school parenting methods would definitely not gain him a Best Daddy Award, Mr. Amano always knew how to keep his sons in line. Their mother on the other hand, somehow managed to keep a warm, happy home for all of them. Despite having a few servants to help along, still their mother was the one to always make sure the two of them—later with Saga tagging along—always wake up and go to school in time, she kept them clothed and fed, and then when they returned home, dinner was always ready. His mother had performed all these tasks for all these years and raised three kids without much mischief. How did she arrange it? Tora realised he had not a single idea how she managed to achieve all these; how would _anyone_ manage to make it?

After seeing the melodrama between the bratty little kid with his helpless parents, Tora couldn't understand how would anyone handle parenting and _survive_ it. 

With all the screaming and arguing continuing, Tora found that his head had began to ache; although his orders still hadn't arrived yet, the teen still decided that he might use the restroom. He could only hope that when he returned, this wimpy pair of parents would be able to keep their kid under some control. 

The teen quickly scanned around and found the right direction to the male restroom, but unluckily he also discovered he needed to walk pass the table where the couple and their demanding kid sat to make his way towards his destination, but he didn't think too much on it. After all, he was a complete outsider from this family drama. 

Still, he never expected that when he walked close to the table where the said family of three sat, the kid suddenly threw something out, then the next thing Tora knew, a ball-shaped small object was flying right at his face.

He only realised what was flying towards him like a baseball when said object hit him and cream drifted unpleasantly down the bridge of his nose, leaving a wet, thick, sticky trace down his chin. It didn't stop just here, before Tora could react, the sticky matter had dropped itself down to the front of his uniform.

It was a piece of cupcake with pink strawberry cream topping.

He could hear the kid's parents gasping in horror; he swore he could feel the other costumers' eyes fixing upon him. Tora had never felt so exposed in his entire life. For once, it sucked so much to be the center of people's attention.

He felt so humiliated; for some stupid thing, which wasn't even his fault.

to be continued.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was true that Tora couldn't even fathom his own feelings towards his cousin. Things had become so complicated, Tora was certain even his genius big brother Nao couldn't handle them. He chuckled at the thought, which made Hiroto frown.

** Chapter 21B **

 

Hiroto had just finished showering and exited his bathroom when he heard his iPhone ringing. Half running, Hiroto grabbed the device and pressed the answer button before the caller hung up. He managed to read Tora's name on the screen before he brought his iPhone to his ear.

"What's up, Tora?"

He could hear Tora's voice on the other line, asking him out to meet up at some café.

"That new café at Akihabara? Why in the world do you want us to meet up there, of all places?" asked Hiroto again.

For some reason, Tora sounded like he was in a rush, and Hiroto wondered why. Nevertheless, he put that thought aside now and stated his agreement to meet the taller teen.

"Okay, okay. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Order what you like, anything would be fine for me. See you soon," and then Hiroto hung up.

Throwing his iPhone carelessly onto the bed, Hiroto proceeded to dry his hair up. He approached his wardrobe, opened it and searched for some decent clothes to wear. Whilst doing so, his mind wandered to his encounter with Saga at the school's rest room earlier this afternoon.

_Hmm… It'd be a perfect opportunity to ask Tora about this matter._

Nodding, Hiroto got himself ready. He moved very swiftly, because he promised Tora to arrive at their meeting place in only half an hour.

~*~

Hiroto exited the train station and headed to Gundam Café. He had coincidentally passed the said café once when he went to Akihabara last week with his classmates, so he knew where his meeting point with Tora was located at. It didn't take much time for the short brunette to reach Gundam Café. Hiroto entered the café, was greeted by the waiter at the entrance who informed him that they were almost close.

"I only came here to meet my friend. Do you happen to know where he is?" asked Hiroto, at the same time craning his neck to spot the certain dark-haired teen.

Before the waiter could give him a response, though, Hiroto had already spotted Tora. The expression Tora wore was that of annoyance; it made Hiroto wonder what had upset the tall one. Tora was approaching him, so Hiroto didn't bother move from where he was currently standing, which was by the entrance. He lifted his arm, waving at Tora. Within a few seconds, Tora had stood before him.

"Let's go," said the dark-haired student.  
"Already?" asked Hiroto, confused.  
"Yeah."

No further words were said, as Tora pushed open the door and exited the café, Hiroto following from behind. Hiroto managed to bow at the waiter when he heard him say, "Thank you for visiting! Come again!" just before he turned on his heel and caught up on Tora. Now walking side by side, Hiroto finally saw the mess at the front of Tora's uniform.

"What happened to your uniform? Did you spill some drink or something? Or did you bump into a waiter?" asked Hiroto, raising an eyebrow.  
"Some annoying kid did this," replied Tora, clearly not amused.  
"You should have at least washed it. Did you bring an extra shirt?"  
"No. Just forget it. It doesn't matter."  
"But I know this little accident ruined your mood."

Tora sighed, "Hiroto…"

Hiroto shrugged, changing the topic afterwards.

"Where are we going now?"  
"Somewhere quiet. Know any place like that?"  
"In Akihabara? Hardly. But maybe the park up ahead should do," answered the shorter one.

Then, Hiroto dragged Tora with him, heading to the said park. Once they arrived there, Hiroto searched for a bench, found one, and motioned to Tora to sit there. Tora complied without any protests.

"So," started the shorter teen, "Why did you want us to meet? Something happened?"  
"A lot of things did," Tora put his school bag down beside his thigh on the stone bench, "There's really are a lot of things, so much so, I'm not sure how to word them out."  
"Took you long enough to start spilling the beans. I'm kind of hurt that you didn't tell me much earlier."  
"What are you talking about, Hiroto?" Tora looked confused.  
"Oh, c'mon, Tora. Do you really think that low of my intelligence? It doesn't take a genius to figure out your problems."  
"Seriously, how much have you known?" Tora straightened up a bit.  
"Enough… And just relax, please."  
"How could I?"  
"Oh, Tora. Do these problems of yours bother you so much that you can't even relax? They must be some pretty bad, bad ones."

Tora raised an eyebrow, feeling a bit relieved that Hiroto seemed not to know about his problems that well, as he previously feared; because Tora wanted to tell Hiroto first-hand. The two of them had been best friends since so long ago, it was only natural that Tora felt more comfortable confiding in Hiroto than in anyone else, his older brother Nao included. Leaning back onto the tree trunk, Tora closed his eyes for a moment, before he spoke up.

"Remember that night when I told you about my friend's problem?"

Hiroto nodded, but then noticing that Tora hadn't opened his eyes yet, he hummed in response.

"Gees… How should I say it? It's just that—"  
"It's actually _yours_ , isn't it?" Hiroto interjected Tora with a calm tone.

Tora snapped his eyes open, not expecting the shorter student to be straightforward. The dark-haired teen opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again because he actually didn't know what to say.

"Dude, are you sure you're ready for it?" Hiroto asked out of the blue.

"What—?" Tora was taken aback.

"I mean, are you ready to be a daddy?" Hiroto turned his head back to face his best friend. "I know something has happened between you and Saga-kun. Is he pregnant?"  
"You... How did you...?" Tora gasped in disbelief. Did Hiroto somehow manage to become a psychic or a mind reader?   
"I saw Saga today in school, and he was like, punching up in the toilet, and when he found out I saw him, he almost freaked out." Hiroto explained with a small frown. "Adding his strange reaction with the fact that there are weird rumours about you and Saga being... an item or even engaged, and that story about your non-existent friend—"  
"Okay, I got it." Tora's shoulders fell, he pouted with an unhappy expression on his face. "So, nothing escaped your notice, right? Mr. Great Detective?"  
"Come on! I can figure it out only because I'm good at observation! And I'm only worrying about you, okay?"  
"I'm sorry. I'm just... this whole business just... kind of freaks me out." Tora knew he was being too defensive. After all Hiroto was his best friend; still, discovering the shorter boy managed to read him so well really did make him feel quite nervous.   
"It's okay." Hiroto shook his head; after all, it wasn't like he couldn't sympathise with his friend's situation. "So that 'girl' really is Saga after all?"

Tora nodded helplessly.

"And he's having your kid?"

With great reluctance, Tora nodded again.

"Crap." Hiroto murmured. "No offense to neither you nor Saga, still... this whole thing... it's just _bad_."  
"Now you can see why I'm so stressed out, right?"  
"So, what are you going to do now? Are you really going to... marry Saga?"  
"What else can I do?" Tora threw both his hands up in the mid-air in abandonment.

There was a long paused before Hiroto voiced out his next question carefully. "But do you love him?" 

"I ...I don't know..."

It was true that Tora couldn't even fathom his own feelings towards his cousin. Things had become so complicated, Tora was certain even his genius big brother Nao couldn't handle them. He chuckled at the thought, which made Hiroto frown.

"What's so funny?" asked the short brunette in confusion.  
"Nothing…" Tora shrugged.

Hiroto dropped the matter, viewing the entire park when he suddenly remembered something.

"You know, Tora… What about Shou?"

The black-haired teen sighed rather loudly at the mention of that certain friend of Saga's.

"Must you bring him up in our conversation, Hiroto?" asked Tora, sounding annoyed.  
"Well, we both know he is Saga's best friend. I even think he is way too close to Saga to a point he had the guts to punch you at school in front of every student and got a suspension from it," Hiroto reasoned.

"And… What's the point?"

"Don't you think he knows? Judging from his action—"

"He still has nothing to do with my engagement to Sa—my cousin."

"Dude, relax. Why are you so worked up?"

"Just because."

This time, Hiroto sighed.

"I think you need some rest, Tora. It's nearly evening, anyway. C'mon, I'll walk you to the station," advised Hiroto, standing up from the bench.  
"No, wait."  
"Huh?"  
"Come with me. I need to look for something."  
"What is it?"

Tora mumbled his answer, which to Hiroto sounded like 'wedding rings'. At first, Hiroto didn't believe his ears, but then Tora continued, "There's a jewellery shop nearby. So, if you don't mind coming with me…"

Hiroto stared at the taller teen for a moment, before he smiled in understanding, "So, I guess you really are serious about this marriage thing, right?"

Tora couldn't come up with an answer to Hiroto's rhetorical question. That was when Hiroto patted his back in an assuring manner.

"You have my full support, no matter what," said the shorter teen with a grin, "Let's go!"

For the first time after a while, Tora felt much better despite his problems. He strode along behind Hiroto, feeling somewhat grateful that he had Hiroto as his best friend.

-End of Chapter 21-


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't know what had possessed him to make him go right back to this particular shop, where he previously caught sight of the sapphire ring, which he felt, would match Saga's eyes...

** Chapter 22A **

 

Tora could not remember when the last time he stepped inside a jewellery shop was. A few years back, he had accompanied his mother and one of his aunts to one in order to shop for a piece of necklace for said aunt's daughter—mind you, Tora would never have agreed to accompany them if he knew his woman-folks had the jewellery shop in their minds before they went. 

He remembered that no one in the shop paid him any attention whilst his mother and aunt took charge, examining the jewels one by one with the utmost care whilst shopkeepers displayed one fine piece of necklace after another before them. He remembered it took two full hours before they decided which piece they wanted. Meanwhile, Tora was left sitting on a sofa in the corner of the shop; his eyes fixed on the screen of his Game Boy Advance most of the entire time. 

In another word, the raven-haired teen didn't know a thing about jewels and his knowledge about what to do once he entered a jewellery shop was basically non-existent. 

But now, he was inside the jewellery shop and with Hiroto standing behind him and watching him like a hawk, there was no way for Tora to change his mind and chicken out.

Yes. He had almost chickened out when he turned a corner and found a jewellery shop appearing right in front of them from just across the road. Plus, it wasn't just any other random shop, it was the _same_ jewellery shop he had come across before he went to the Gundam café.

He didn't know what had possessed him to make him go right back to this particular shop, where he previously caught sight of the sapphire ring, which he felt, would match Saga's eyes... 

Instantly, Tora wanted to turn away as the thought flashed across his mind. Darn, he could even feel his cheeks warming as the thought took shape. Unluckily for him, Hiroto was right behind him and the shorter boy had sensed his desire to flee. Instead of letting him go, Hiroto pouted and pushed his friend back towards the direction of the jewellery shop, leaving him nowhere to escape. 

Here they were, standing at the entrance of the shop, feeling puzzled and lost; they both were unable to decide where they should look first—simply because as it turned out, Hiroto was just as clueless as Tora was when it came to jewellery. With so many jewellery pieces on displaying under the strong limelight, sparkled enough to the point of blinding, the shop looked like alien territory to them. Worse still, most of the customers and shopkeepers were women. Unable to hold their curiosity back, some of those customers had been stealing glance at the pair once they noticed the boys were there. After all, it wasn't common for two teenagers—one in school uniform—to walk into the shop and look around for jewellery.

Tora thought to himself, he wouldn't have been able to work up the courage to step into the shop if he had to go alone.

"Hello, misters. How may I help you?" At last, a shopkeeper—a smiling young woman who was probably not more than five years older than the boys, had come to their rescue before they died of embarrassment.

Hiroto was the first to react. He flashed a charming bright smile at the kind-looking shopkeeper and replied, "You see, we're looking for wedding rings!"

Next to Hiroto, Tora tensed. He didn't expect his friend would be so darn _loud_ when he mentioned 'wedding rings'... 

The shopkeeper's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Oh, are you two getting married?"

Though it wasn't uncommon for same-sex couples to shop for jewellery, but for the couple in question to be so young......it was still rare.

"No!" Once again, before Tora could say anything, Hiroto burst out, elbowing the taller boy playfully as he spoke, "It's for my buddy here!"

"Sorry. My mistake." The shopkeeper apologised politely before shifting her gaze to Tora, whose expression was a mixture of embarrassment and shyness. "I would show you the wedding rings then. Will you come with me, misters?"

Reluctantly, Tora nodded. The two boys then followed the shopkeeper to one of the long display counters made of glass. There were rows of shiny silver rings on display within the counter. Tora scanned through row and row of rings of different designs, shapes, sizes and different pendants. 

The shopkeeper gestured the boys to sit down on the stools in front of the counter, then asked what Tora might prefer, when the raven-haired boy only shrugged, murmured under his breath that he had no particular idea in his mind. She nodded understandingly and started picking up different pairs of rings, which she considered 'suitable for young couples', up on top of the glass.

The boys stared at those rings in bewilderment, neither of them were the type to notice small details like rings and other jewellery before, so they were surprised to see there were actually so many different kinds of rings for choosing. 

Suddenly, Hiroto elbowed Tora again to catch the latter's attention. The taller boy stared at his friend in puzzlement before he saw what the grinning Hiroto was pointing at: a pair of rings bearing light pink coloured stones in heart-shapes.

Tora rolled his eyes in disbelief. There was no way in hell; he would rather be caught dead than going anywhere near pink heart-shaped rings!

After elbowing Hiroto back as a warning, Tora's eyes drifted towards another pair of rings. It didn't take long for him to recognise these were the same pair of sapphire rings he had seen on the display before...

The teen picked up one of the rings from the glass and examined them. The silver ring had a simple but elegant vine-like pattern on it, the sapphire was a small one, but it was delicate like a tiny drop of clear icy water, with the colour of blue sky. A while later, Tora put the ring back to where it belonged, but he found himself being drawn to that particular pair of rings.

"Well......?" Next to Tora, Hiroto asked rather hopefully.  
"How much is this pair?" Tora looked up at the shopkeeper and asked her directly.

With the same smile, the shopkeeper named a price, and it was much higher than the raven-haired teen had expected. Not too outrageously expensive, but still out of a high school student's league. For a moment, Tora almost wanted to reach for his wallet, which was hidden inside his trousers' pocket, for checking. But he decided against it in the next instant. He was positive that he didn't have enough to buy the rings, not even if he added the small saving he had stored in the bank. 

So instead, he only smiled and thanked the shopkeeper for the information she had provided, and then calmly took his leave with Hiroto tagging along. When they stood up, he could tell Hiroto wanted to say something, but whatever he might want to say, the shorter boy changed his mind and followed.

Though once outside, Hiroto could no longer hold back, "Why didn't you buy those rings? I can tell you _looooooove_ them!"

For a moment, Tora thought about ignoring the question, but then decided he could be honest with his best friend. "The thing is, I just......don't think I've enough money to buy them."

Hiroto paused for a moment, before coming up with a suggestion he thought would be helpful, "Then how about I lend you some money? It's easy—"

"No." The reply came much firmer than Tora had expected, with an unquestionable finality in it. So he had to add an explanation quickly, "...I mean, it's okay. Maybe I can find something else..."

The shorter boy studied Tora's face for a moment, and then he shrugged. "If you said so. Still, you can ask me whenever you like."

to be continued.

What do you think?


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his mind made up, Tora walked into the kitchen. He didn't want to startle Saga, so he chose to stand apart from the other boy instead of walking straight up to him.

** Chapter 22B **

 

Tora returned home after nightfall, it was also well past the usual dinner time for the Amano's household. Therefore, the first thing Tora did after walking in was to go to the kitchen and try finding himself some snack.

Turning down the corner, he was about to enter the kitchen but the raven haired teen could hear sound from within, it took him a second to recognise the sound as someone opening and closing the refrigerator. Could it be one of the housekeepers? Though it didn't seem to be very likely, the housekeepers would have made so much more noise if they were doing chores inside the kitchen.

Curious but not wanting to draw attention to himself yet, the teen quietly moved closer to the kitchen's half opened door and peered in, and found Saga standing near the refrigerator, drinking a glass of juice. 

For the time being, the younger boy had his body half turned away from the door; therefore, he hadn't yet noticed Tora's presence. 

Instantly, Tora almost wanted to back away and walked past the kitchen as quietly as he could before Saga noticed him, his night-time snack could always wait. But for one reason, he couldn't walk away, because he couldn't help noticing, with growing alarm, that now with Saga wearing a thin T-shirt, the blond seemed to look thinner than before.

But how could it be? Tora was puzzled. The last time he checked, pregnancy should make a person gain weight, not losing it.

Tora recalled how little his blond haired cousin had eaten in the restaurant this afternoon. He wondered had Saga been eating properly during his pregnancy. Theoretically, his mother would be watching over him, right? Didn't his mother always remind the blond to eat up? But then the raven-haired teen remembered, his mother also had to look after his father, she also had to handle a numbers of paperwork, which were related to his father's business. Maybe his mother, as capable as she was, still couldn't watch out for so many people all at once......

Right now, every one member in the family had their own problems to deal with; therefore, Tora thought he should start to try harder taking up his share of responsibility.

Yes...despite his confusion and mixed feelings, he had at least acknowledged that Saga and the unborn infant was _his_ responsibility, while he was watching over a sleeping Saga in the infirmary. 

With his mind made up, Tora walked into the kitchen. He didn't want to startle Saga, so he chose to stand apart from the other boy instead of walking straight up to him.

The taller boy waited until Saga was finished drinking and had put the glass down before he made the first move, even though he wasn't quite sure where to begin. "Hey." 

Hearing Tora's voice, Saga instantly looked back at him in confusion. He seemed to be a bit caught off guard.

Tora knew now it was up to him to start the conversation, but he also found it would take more effort than he had expected to keep speaking as smoothly as he had hoped. "We need to talk."

"What do you want?" Now Saga turned fully to the taller boy's direction, his reply came out quite defensive-sounding.   
"Are you saying that I can't just come up and talk to you?" Tora raised an eyebrow, his voice laced with a challenging tone.  
"It's _not_ what I'm saying," Saga crossed his arms before his chests, sighing softly, "But you never want to talk with me if it wasn't an absolutely necessary."

Tora cursed inwardly in frustration. He was once again reminded of how difficult it really was to introduce normal conversations between them. But this time the situation was reversed, he was the one who tried to make some conversation, while Saga stubbornly tried to avoid talking. 

The older boy straightened himself, crossing his arms as he readied himself to argue with his cousin. "This can't continue, you know."

"What're you talking about?" Saga's eyes widened, he was so taken aback that his arms loosed and fell back down to his side in a half conscious manner.  
"I say, we can't continue like this. You have to stop ignoring me."  
"I'm not—" The blond shook his head in denial.  
"Stop. You are the one who's being unreasonable here!" Taking a step closer, Tora groaned under his breath, "For our...arrangement to work out you can't keep shutting me out. Can't you see that?"

For a moment, Saga was unable to reply. What Tora had said kind of make sense, still......after all the damage the older boy had done. It was difficult just went along with Tora's demand. 

"Okay, okay..." Waving his hands, Saga tried to put his thought together, "I'll think about it." 

Finally, the blond managed to murmur a reply, although it came out pretty half-hearted, even to Saga's own ears.

After that, they stared at each other for a moment, as if they both waited for the other to say something more, but no other word was uttered. 

Eventually, Saga averted his eyes, breaking the eye contact. When he was certain there was nothing more to be said, he shifted his weight from one foot to another nervously before walking past his older cousin and made his way out of the kitchen, without saying a word.

Tora didn't turn to see the younger boy go; instead, he continued to gaze at the empty spot where Saga had been standing, long after the latter was gone, even when he could no longer hear any footstep.

The raven-haired boy had wanted to talk to Saga but once again his attempt kind of backed fire. Their conversation had gone all out focus. And he didn't even manage to express his concern on Saga's health in the process, he failed to even express that he was _worried_.

That made him feel really, really stupid.

Even though before he left, Saga said he would think about what Tora had said about how they shouldn't be avoiding each other, still Tora didn't miss out how reluctant his cousin had sounded when he said he would think things over.

Saga didn't want to shorten the gap between them, because the blond didn't seem to realise Tora wanted things to change, that he wanted the gap to be shortened.

The teen had also realised, Saga didn't seem to trust him; that much was clear. He didn't really believe that Tora want to make things better for both of them instead of being a cumber and stirring up troubles. It was most likely the reason why Saga had put up such a defensive attitude in the first place.

Unconsciously, Tora's hands balled into fists. In a moment of unreasoning, he wanted his cousin to be able to just.......relax in his presence, to be _happy_ around him just for once.

But it was a stupid thing to hope for, wasn't it?

_But why should he be relaxed around you?_

An inner voice that sounded annoyingly similar to his father's, raised the question with a mocking tone. 

_What had you ever done to make him trust you?_

This time his inner voice might be right, Tora realised bitterly. He had ignored Saga from time to time; he kissed and had sex with him only to act like nothing had happened the next day, he denied his responsibility when he first heard his cousin was pregnant. All these past incidents clearly didn't add up into a good foundation of trust. 

But why did he care so much about whether Saga trusted him or not? Should the whole point of going along with their 'deal' be for getting even with Shou? Or was there something else?

Was Saga right by pointing out how much he cared about what his father might think of him? Was he trying to please his old man by agreeing to take his responsibility? Or was it because his mother had been so supportive about the whole business? The way she seemed to be so happy to have her beloved nephew becoming her son-in-law.

All of these reasons made sense, but none of them seemed to explain why he was upset by Saga's distant, guarded attitude?

Did it mean he have to do something to make up with Saga, as an act of good will?

 

For no particular reason, Tora kept thinking about the pair of sapphire rings he had seen in the jewellery shop. He remembered how pretty the pair looked under the light; how he thought, the ring would look so pretty when Saga was wearing it.

But then he went right back to where the old problem was: he didn't have enough money to buy them. Still...couldn't he ask for some aid from his parent? Could he just go back home to ask either of his parent to buy the rings? 

Tora cursed himself for being stupid as soon as the thought popped up in his mind. It felt wrong to even _consider_ asking his parents for help in that matter, for he had never heard of other men needing aid from their families to buy the wedding rings for their fiancé before. It was the last thing he wanted to do.

Surely enough, the expanse to buy some rings was just a small piece of cake to his father, Mr. Amano; but Tora couldn't even start to picture himself coming up to the older man, asking help to buy a ring for Saga. His father would probably laugh. 

There was also his mother, but she had already done enough arrangements for the wedding. Along the way, both him and Saga had been extremely passive, letting his mother decide almost everything and hadn't even thought of making their own choices for the wedding. For they were too young, too inexperienced with something so... _adult_ to handle the situation without messing up. 

Plus, turning to his brother Nao for help on the matter felt just as weird. Somehow, Tora began to have a strange feeling, he felt as though it was a _challenge_ , which he had to face alone.

Maybe it was more than just a challenge, it was a chance to proof that he was able enough to take matter into his own hands instead of running away in fright like a kid. To prove that Saga's mistrust was wrong, to prove to the blond that he could trust Tora.

_You don't want to be called a coward? You damn well need to do something to prove me wrong!_ His father had once challenged him.

_Are you ready to be a daddy?_ Hiroto had also asked him, not long ago.

Maybe it was time, time to find out whether he was ready for it; to prove to everyone, that he was ready to take his responsibility. 

In the process of thinking things over and reasoning with himself, not once did Tora pause to wonder why he felt he need to prove himself to Saga or why he felt as though he needed to earn the younger boy's approval.

 

To be continued.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aside his meeting with Shou, his unexpected encounter with Tora in the kitchen just hours ago also gave Saga an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Tora had been saying strange things and acting strange lately, and to Saga, it was really getting into his nerve.

** Chapter 22C **

 

After switching off the light in his room, Saga laid back on his bed with a sigh, he had just finished showering and changed into clean clothes, now he was ready to go to sleep. 

Sleep was much needed right now since after a very long day, Saga was feeling nothing less than exhausted. One of his hands moved half-consciously to rest on his gently swollen tummy as he made himself comfortable among the mattress. He was certain resting was as important to the baby as it was to him.

So he tucked himself into bed, closing his eyes and waited for sleep to arrive; but instead of falling asleep fast, the blond found himself staring at the ceiling with today's events playing out in his mind. His meeting with Mrs. Suzuki, his headteacher, then Shou's unexpected confession, the showdown between Shou and Tora; his aunt showed up in front of the school, their trip to Mrs. Sumimoto's villa. Saga could hardly believe so many events could happened to him within a single day.

But things didn't just stop there, Saga thought to himself. By tomorrow he would meet Shou and tried to work things out between them. Though the arrival of tomorrow made him very nervous, he dread facing Shou again, knowing he wasn't ready for the meeting but he also knew he had to face the brown haired teen. He had no escape in that matter.

Tomorrow, he would give Shou an answer. He couldn't predict how would Shou react to it, but he had to take the risk.

Aside his meeting with Shou, his unexpected encounter with Tora in the kitchen just hours ago also gave Saga an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Tora had been saying strange things and acting strange lately, and to Saga, it was really getting into his nerve.

Though this time it wasn't like Tora was mad at him or trying to pick on him. No it really didn't seem to be the case. At the beginning his cousin was indeed upset and overwhelmed after Saga 'threatened' him into accepting the arrangement, but recently, Tora seemed to be calming down.

The blond shifted to lay on his side as he turned the thought over in his mind. Tora wasn't a bad person, Saga had always knew he wasn't. It was just...he didn't know how to act around the older boy, especially after they broke the boundary between cousins and relatives; things between them started to change so quickly that Saga barely knew what to think. Then there was also the entire engagement business...

Plus he just wasn't used to Tora acting so strange. He felt as if all of a sudden, he could no longer read Tora well and predict his moves. Back then he could at least know what to expect from Tora, based on experience. Even though Tora always kept him at arm length, still Saga could tell when his older cousin was upset, when he was in good mood, when he was having trouble; but now Tora had became a massive unknown which he failed to put his finger on. 

Saga didn't know how to react when Tora wasn't acting like his usual indifferent self, which made it very difficult for him to react accordingly to the older teen. When he thought his cousin would like to keep the distance between them, Tora started acting caring and concerned; when he tried to avoid getting into Tora's way, the dark haired boy suddenly started showing up everywhere he turned. It was so very confusing! 

Wait, why the more he thought about it, the more he felt like he had seen Tora acting out-of-character in similar way before? When did it happen? Could he remember what had happened in the past to make Tora acting strange? 

It took a while, but eventually like a light bulb being switched on in his mind, Saga remembered when Tora was acting strange like this, it was when Tora was with this girl---

The blond shook his head before he could think any further. He didn't want to think about it. It wasn't a memory he particularly wanted to recall.

Because the memory about this _girl_ would only lead to the memory of the sad expression on Tora's face, to the memory of a rainy dusk when an exhausted, empty-eyed Tora collapsed in front of him, heartbroken.......

to be continued.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tora...?" Knowing that he would do neither of them no good by simply standing there, Saga hesitatingly spoke up, hoping to catch the older boy's attention.

** Interlude V **

 

_After a long day in school, Saga returned home in one winter afternoon, only to find the house empty._

_Frowning in puzzlement, the blond teen switched on the light as he walked into the living room. A glance at the clock hanging on the wall told him that time had already passed five o'clock in the late afternoon, by that time the housekeepers had already gone off duty so it wasn't a wonder none of them were around at this time, but where was his aunt and uncle, the rest of the family?_

_Soon his question was answered when he came across a note left by his aunt on the table, informing him that she and her husband would be out for tonight, and dinner had been prepared earlier in the kitchen for the three of them._

_So the mystery was solved. Saga thought to himself as he placed the note back down and started making his way to the stairs. Aunt and Uncle would not be around for tonight and this would leave him, Nao and Tora 'home alone' in a sense; though neither of his cousins had returned. He could only guess that the two of them would show up later._

_The blond was so certain he was the only person in the house for the time being, he would have gone straight to his own bedroom to tend to his own business if he didn't feel the unexpected gust of wind blowing across the hallway. He was startled said gust of strong wind bowling pass him, making the tiny hair on his exposed skin stood on end due to the sudden contact with cold air._

_Had someone forgotten to close a window? But as far as he knew, none of the people within the household would be so careless......_

_He made a turn and started walking down the hallway in question, he should close the windows in case someone just might forget to close them before they left. The light at the hallway was off and his surrounding was only illuminated by the fading crimson shades of sunset, soon enough Saga saw the hems of the long veil curtains floating gently, parting in time as the wind bowled pass them. Behind the soft curtains, a pair of large French windows which the blond knew faced the garden outside of the house, were left open; allowing the cold wind from the open space beyond the windows to pour into the house._

_Brushing the curtains aside, Saga's hands went for the handles in order to slip the window close, just when he was half way through closing the windows, he accidentally looked up and fancied himself catching sight of something. For a second he though it was only his eyes playing trick to him. But then he blinked and focused before he eventually saw a figure, sitting under an old maple at the far end of the garden._

_At first he couldn't make out who this person was, but the familiar tall figure and the jet-black hair finally made him feel certain that it was Tora sitting on a wooden bench under the maple. His cousin didn't move and from a distance Saga could not tell what the other was doing alone out there._

_Out of curiosity, the blond teen reopened the large window and stepped outside, chilly air hit the exposed skin on his face with its full force instantly, leaving a stinging feeling at its wake. Saga shivered and ducked his face down as close to his high-collared jacket as he could while making his way further into the quiet garden._

_Although Saga was glad that it was only his older cousin who had left the windows open, instead of some scary intruder, still he could not think of any reason for his cousin to be here. It truly was strange._

_The tiny sound of reddish dry leaves crushing underfoot was the only sound he could hear as he walked down the stone made narrow path leading toward the ancient maple. Another gust of wind lashed through the treetop, sending dying leaves to fall around the blond haired boy like crimson rain._

_He was getting closer now but all he could see was still his raven haired cousin's silhouette, his head raised slightly to face the empty space before him, doing nothing other than simply sat there. In fact, so far Saga couldn't even see any movement on Tora's part._

_Now Saga was even more puzzled than before. In any other day, it would be difficult for his cousin to keep still for a long time, to just sit around in one place, without anything interesting to do to keep himself busy. The blond also never knew that his older cousin as someone who enjoyed spending time in the garden and admiring the view. In an afternoon like this Tora should have been hanging out with his friends, having fun. Though right now, 'fun' seemed to be the last thing Tora was having._

_He didn't know for how long Tora had been here, sitting outside. But he did know the temperature would be dropping once the sun went down._

_Saga didn't know why would the other teen chose to linger in their garden in such a chilly day, still his thought brought him back to that evening not so long ago when Tora went down with high fever. Then he thought, maybe he should remind his cousin it might not be such a good idea to sit under the cold wind._

_With concern the blond walked down the narrow path between the shrubs till he walked under the shade of the maple, stopping when he stood just a few feet away from Tora's lean figure. Still his dark haired cousin sat with his back to him, seemingly unaware of his presence._

_"Tora...?" Knowing that he would do neither of them no good by simply standing there, Saga hesitatingly spoke up, hoping to catch the older boy's attention._

_For the longest of time Tora showed no sign of ever hearing Saga's calling. He was so still and motionless that Saga was almost tricked into believing that the raven haired teen had somehow fallen asleep. But eventually the blond saw the slightest of movement before Tora slowly turned back to his direction._

_Though Saga wasn't prepared to find his cousin looking so pale, upset and drained when the latter turned back to face him fully._

_"Are you...alright?" After a moment of stunned silence, Saga finally managed to ask the older boy in a quiet voice, his fingers unconsciously tangled together and started twisting as if having their own will._

_"Do I look alright to you?" There came Tora's flat, toneless reply. He sounded so unhappy and impatient, making it clear that interruption was the last thing he desired. Although Tora was still facing Saga's direction but his eyes were never focused, as if he was unwilling to acknowledge Saga's presence by looking at him or meeting his gaze._

_Saga was taken aback by the older boy's response though. Do I look alright to you?Tora usually would not admit he was anything less than his awesome self._

_"Whatever. " The blond could only shrug. "Maybe you should get inside, it's getting dark---"_

_But Tora was turning away, words of refusal slipped carelessly from his lips, in an attempt to block Saga out and end the unwanted conversation. "Shut up."_

_Tora didn't shout, but his harsh reply was enough to kill whatever words of concern Saga had in store, instantly. The blond stared at the back of his cousin's head in disbelief. How dare Tora talk to him like that! Maybe he should just leave Tora alone. If his older cousin wanted to stay here in the open and let himself catch a cold as a result, it was none of his business._

_So Saga took a few steps backward, away from the older teen. Fully prepare to turn his back on Tora and go back to the house. But in the last minute, the blond thought he had seen something---did he see Tora's shoulders trembling? As if he was...as if..._

_He was sobbing?_

_Saga hesitated, he didn't know what to do in this situation. He was caught between leaving for good and going right back to Tora's side, to make sure his older cousin was okay._

_But who was he kidding? From what it looked like Tora was far from being okay, so leaving was hardly an option. For goodness' sake, since when was the last time he see Tora cry?_

_It must be from ages ago, back when there were both kids. Back then it was so much easier for him to express his concern whenever Tora was upset, back then both of them were open and carefree around each other. They could laugh and cry together, offering comfort and words of concern to one another in moment of sadness._

_Though those days were long gone. Now, Saga wasn't even sure his words of comfort meant much to Tora at the moment. His prideful older cousin probably wouldn't like being caught in his moment of weakness._

_Still, it felt all wrong to just walk away and leave Tora here, alone......_

_Taking a slow deep breath, Saga took a step toward the raven haired teen, while the latter sat on the bench barely moving a muscle. There was no hint to indicate Tora was even aware that the blond was still there._

_Also there was no sound to be heard saved for Tora's soft, uneven breathing._

_Carefully, Saga took off his jacket as he crossed the short distance between himself and his cousin. When he was right behind Tora, he bent down a bit and gently placed the jacket on Tora's shoulders._

_As soon as he did it, Tora's back stirred and he instantly turned his head back to look straight at Saga; bewilderment and surprise flashed through those bloodshot eyes, mixing with unnamed emotions which Saga couldn't pinpoint._

_With the raven haired boy staring at him so with such intensity, Saga suddenly felt his throat went dry._

_"It's for you to keep warm." Out of thing to say in that awkward moment, the blond was reduced to state the obvious. It was the only thing he could manage to make out._

_In the next second, Tora's eyes narrowed, his lips pressed together to form a thin, unhappy line. For a moment Saga thought his older cousin was about to hiss at him, but instead the blond felt fingers quickly wrapped themselves around his wrist, and he was drawn closer to Tora._

_"What---" A surprised gasp escaped from Saga's lips as the older boy wrapped his arms around his waist, his head came to rest on his clad chest. Looking down, Saga could only see the back of Tora's head, his face hidden from view, though the blond noticed that the jacket he had previously given Tora, had slipped down to the ground due to the raven haired boy's sudden movement._

_With Tora's body heat radiated steadily to him and his weight pressed against him, Saga's heart began to speed up._

_Unable to think of anything else to do, Saga tried to peel himself away from Tora's grip. He did it by putting is hands on Tora's upper arms and tried to put pressure on them, but the older boy didn't budge. Not once did he look up or say anything, all he did was holding onto the slim body before him, leaning against him like a lost puppy reaching for warmth._

_Warmth. The thought jolted Saga out of confusion, Tora's hands felt cold, the older boy must have been out here in the open for longer than he had guessed. What was he thinking? Did Tora really intend to make himself ill again?_

_Realizing Tora wasn't going to loose his hold, nor was he going to explain himself any time soon, the blond haired teen gave in. With slow, careful motions, he slipped to sit down next to Tora, who didn't loose his grip during the process. They stayed like this for a while, before Tora's head slowly starting to slip downward as if the teen could no longer support his own weight. Saga could only look on as Tora's head finally rested--much to Saga's chagrin, on his laps._

_The blond could hardly believe what he was seeing. That was a very uncharacteristic action on Tora's part. The usual Tora would not act in such a childlike, clingy manner._

_Luckily in this new position, Saga could at least see part of Tora's face. The older boy's eyes had remained closed, as if he had already fallen asleep, even his breathing seemed to be slow and even, like a slumbering person. Did it mean Tora had somehow managed to fall asleep on him?_

_"Hey..." The blond placed his hand on the raven haired teen's shoulder, shaking him gently as he spoke. "Can you hear me?"_

_As if hearing his voice, Tora frowned and turned onto his side, with his head still fully nested on his younger cousin's lap, as though he had no intention to remove himself any time soon._

_When Tora turned, Saga thought he heard the older boy mumbled something under his breath._

_"What's it?" Saga asked again, he was still clueless about what was going on here. "...Tora?"_

_This time his question was finally answered._

_"Just let me be..."_

_All of a sudden the blond saw Tora's eyes snapped open, but those eyes look glassy and unfocused. Then he saw his cousin's lips moving slightly as he murmured something in a soft, tired voice._

_"Just...for a while longer...."_

_As soon as he finished speaking, Tora's eyelids drifted close once again, without even waiting for Saga's response. As if it was too tiring for the raven head to keep his eyes open for long._

_Or as if he was too drained, too unwilling to face the outside world._

_Saga studied his cousin for a moment, before giving his own reply quietly._

_"Okay." He answered, to no one in particular._

_After that there was nothing more needed to be said between them. Tora knew his blond haired cousin wasn't going to leave him by himself. Whilst Saga knew Tora was in a bad shape and in desperate need for comfort . There was only one kind of comfort his cousin wanted in the moment. Warmth from another person. Warmth which could, at least for the moment, kept the cold emptiness he felt away._

_The next day, Saga found out the reason of Tora's unusual display of weakness and heartbroken when he heard the gossip about Kubota -san's plan of studying aboard._

_Kubota Keiko, an well known upper-schooler and probably the most popular girl in school, whom Saga guessed was also the only girl Tora was seriously in an relationship with._

_But from how Tora was acting, the blond was afraid that this romance wasn't meant to last._

to be continued.

In reality, Keiko is actually younger than Tora, but Jun san said "Screw that!" so here we are, in this story Keiko-san is an upper schooler!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The familiarity in Shou's voice calmed Saga a bit, making him feel more at ease. When Shou gestured for him to sit down, the blond did as he was told, sitting down next to Shou.

** Chapter 23A **

 

Late in the afternoon next day, Saga got dressed to prepare himself for his arranged meeting with Shou. He put on his casual T-shirt and loose jeans. He gave himself a quick once-over in the mirror, making sure he was in fact looking nice, presentable before he went downstairs.

When he walked past the living room, he saw his aunt sitting on the sofa, reading. Naturally, he walked up to tell the older woman that he would go out for a while.

"Where are you going?" Mrs. Amano raised her head from her book and asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

"I...I'm going for a walk nearby," The reply came out smoothly and natural sounding, and it wasn't particularly a lie. Saga added in his mind, his aunt did not need to know the true reason of this. In addition, he didn't particularly feel like explaining the purpose of his today appointment with Shou. Otherwise, it would be quite a long story.

"Remember to come back before dinner, ne?" Trusting Saga would be fine to go for a short walk within the neighbourhood area, Mrs. Amano nodded with approval, "But don't go out for too long. They said it's going to rain later."  
"Okay!" The blond-haired teen replied as casual as he could before he walked towards the front door.

***

In fact, Saga didn't plan to travel far in this afternoon. He was in no hurry; his walk alongside the sidewalk led him towards the riverbank not far away from the Amano household. He took in a lungful of fresh air after he reached the top of the stairs, which led to the riverbank, taking in the full view of the river spreading before him. Soft breeze touched upon his skin, helping him to cool down a bit. Thin layers of cloud had helped to veil the blinding sun for today, but the temperature had remained high.

This riverbank was their usual spot for meeting and hanging out in weekend. Therefore, the blond was certain that Shou would remember this place well. 

The blond turned his head from left to right, scanning his surroundings. There were only a handful of people hanging out on the riverbank, so it did not take long before he saw Shou had already arrived, sitting on one of the stone bench, facing the river below.

Out of nervousness, Saga looked down to check his watch, realising he was actually ten minutes late for the appointment. No wonder Shou was already there before he arrived. He must have walked slower than he thought; being pregnant tended to slow people down. Saga made a mental note that in the future, he should not overestimate his strength again. 

He moved along the path, slowly approaching his friend. At first, Shou was not aware of his presence, but it changed when Saga came to stand next to the bench he was sitting at. Shou turned his head sideward and looked up, instantly locking eyes with the blond-haired teen.

"Shou," Saga called out to his friend nervously, still standing at the same spot; uncertain of whether to sit down or to remain standing.  
"Hello, Saga," Shou greeted him in return, with a voice sounded just like what Saga had always been used to.

The familiarity in Shou's voice calmed Saga a bit, making him feel more at ease. When Shou gestured for him to sit down, the blond did as he was told, sitting down next to Shou. 

"Are you okay?" Shou was the one to speak, but he had turned away from Saga. Now, he was facing the river instead of the person he talked to.  
"I'm fine," The blond knew his brown-haired friend was probably worried about what had happened to him yesterday. Therefore, Saga summed up his condition with a harmless remark in order to keep Shou from worrying.

That made Shou look back at him, the brown-haired teen didn't say anything. He simply fixed his eyes back at Saga, studying him for a long moment. Saga tensed with uneasiness, he felt for some reason, Shou could see right through him and knew that he was holding something back. Instantly, it made the blond feel guilty for not coming clean with his best friend, but there was nothing he could do. 

"About yesterday..." Hesitatingly, Saga began; his eyes snapped shut as he tried to concentrate and force himself to continue, "About what you had told me. W-We...need to talk about it."

Shou creased his forehead a bit, listening.

"You...you said something in yesterday," failing to manage some normal sentences, Saga reopened his eyes, struggling to find words, "You said that...you love me."

Shou made no response at first, but eventually he nodded.

Swallowing hard, Saga continued, the intensiveness of the situation made him unable to look Shou in the eyes, "I think I need to give you an answer..."

However, Shou was shaking his head, "Saga, you don't have to answer anything so soon—"

"But I'm running out of time, can't you see that?" Saga replied in a desperate tone.  
"What do you mean? Why would you run out of time?"  
"I..." Here came the difficult part, "The date of my wedding, it'll be soon."

Shou frowned. He didn't know the details about the marital arrangement; therefore, before this moment, he had no idea when the wedding would take place. As a result, he was a bit taken aback by Saga's words. 

"You don't have to marry _him_ out of obligation, Saga. It's wrong."  
"I have to. It's my responsibility," Saga tried to defend himself.  
"Maybe you don't have to do this," Shou frowned. Here it came again, Saga and this strong sense of obligation he seemed to have towards his guardians: the Amanos. But Shou really didn't want his friend to feel like in order to please the Amanos; he needed to do things, which were against his will.

Shou knew he must say something. _Now_ , it was his one chance to make Saga change his mind; "Maybe you still have choice, other choices."

The brown-haired teen paused, once more struggling to express his own feeling. Why even after rehearsing the speech in his mind for so many times, it was still so difficult to utter them to the person who was meant to hear them?

"...and I hope you would consider one choice in particular, I want you to think about me, us. I want you to be with me."

This time it was Saga's turn to be speechless. For a moment, Shou's suggestion made perfect sense. Had he cornered himself into a dead-end by accepting the marital arrangement so quickly? Was there any space and time left for him to...reconsider the whole situation?

"Shou...it's not so simple."

Saga tasted the sadness in every word he said as those words rolling down his tongue. Although, he could hardly tell whether he was sad for Shou or for himself. Deep down, he knew Shou had come up to him _too late_. For he had _already_ made his decision and it didn't feel right to go back at his own words. Moreover, he couldn't turn his back on the Amanos, nor Nao. They all believed in _him_ and his decision of going ahead with the marriage. They had put so much effort to help working things out, making life easier for him...and more importantly...

"I value you more than anyone else, Shou," Saga looked up to meet his best friend's eyes, whispering, "But...I don't think I return your feeling. It isn't right for me to be with you. I'll only weigh you down. And I don't want to lie to you."

The blond meant every word he had said to his friend. He had already spread enough lies and half-truth amongst the people he cared about; now, he wanted to at least be true to Shou and himself for once.

"What do you mean? Why would you think you would weight me down?" Shou could hardly suppress his disbelief.

His confidence was slipping, in a sense he knew Saga was rejecting him even though the blond was too kind a person to say the words of refusal directly and quickly. Still, part of him was still hold onto the fading hope.

Saga struggled to put his tangled thoughts and contradicting feelings into words, "I...I don't want to do this to you!"

"Do what to me?" Shou was utterly puzzled. For him, the conversation seemed to be gone out of hand.  
"You wouldn't be happy with me in a long run! Your parents wouldn't be happy with this! And I...I know I would be _using_ you if I chose to drag you into this mess!" Saga cried out, confessing the worst fear in his heart.  
"You…using me? It wouldn't be using if we have feelings for each other!" Shou exclaimed, he stood up, gazing down at Saga in disbelief, "Why?"  
"It's not the same! You have to understand it!" Saga raised his voice without realising it, "I said I value you more than anyone else and I mean it! That's why I can't do it to you!"

As he spoke on, Saga began to feel a certainty that he hadn't felt for a long time. He realised the truth of his own heart. Whatever his feeling for Shou was, _it just wasn't strong enough_. Shou might feel for him strongly, but Saga realised his own feeling towards his best friend wasn't quite equal to Shou's. Therefore, it wasn't fair for him to accept Shou's offer. It wouldn't be fair to Shou at all. It would only be using Shou for his own benefit. He knew they weren't going to make it if one of them wasn't able to be fully committed to the other. His feeling for his best friend wasn't strong enough to help them both making things through.

"Shou, please listen—"  
"Cut the crap!" When Shou asked this question, he could barely keep the desperation in his tone hidden, "Are you in love with him? Is that the reason?"

Saga knew whom Shou was referring to instantly; still, the angry question caught him off guard completely. He wanted to say something in response, but his voice seemed to have failed him at this moment.

It took a long moment before Saga recovered enough to mutter some kind of an answer, "I don't know..."

"You don't know?" Shou snorted, "That's nonsense, Saga!"  
"How…how could I know? Shou, I'm confused myself! Please understand!" Saga's voice wavered, but he refused to succumb into tears.

"I can't…I can't accept it!"

"Shou!" Saga's eyes widened in disbelief. He had known Shou as someone who understood him the most; someone who accepted him as who he was. The brown-haired teen rarely complained, but this time, Saga didn't even want to believe his ears. He didn't want to believe what Shou said just now.

The blond hadn't even recovered from the shock yet, but Shou had already stood up and turned on his heel to leave. With his back facing Saga, the taller brunette muttered, "Maybe… maybe what we have is wrong, after all." Then he left.

Minutes passed until Saga finally realised that his face was already wet with tears. He didn't even notice them falling. He was too shocked by Shou's last remarks that his mind seemed to have frozen, unable to form a sentence in response. But he knew one thing: Shou had blamed their friendship, stating that them being friends were wrong. Saga had heard about those friendships that were ruined by love. Nevertheless, he never expected his friendship with Shou would have the same fate.

 

To be continued.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some might think that Tora got his good look from the get go. Still, looking back at himself, Shou was well aware of his own popularity amongst students. More importantly, he cared about Saga, had spent more time with him and knew him better than Tora had ever been!

** Chapter 23B **

 

Shou walked down the street, heading towards the train station.

He had to get home earlier than usual due to final exams. Students could choose to leave school earlier or stay behind for self-studying. Back then, Shou used to stay behind to study together with his classmates during exam period, but this time around, he found he had not the urge to stay in school for longer than necessary.

Staying within the school meant more possibilities to encounter Saga; it was something Shou desperately wanted to avoid for the time being. 

What else could you expect? After all, he had just been freshly turned down flat by the blond-haired teen. Shou was just a teenage boy, he wasn't used to rejection; he still needed time to lick his wounds.

However, Saga was his best friend; and best friends weren't supposed to cold-shoulder and avoid each other.

Guilt washed through him as the thought took shape. Shou recalled how he caught sight of Saga hovering at the back of the classroom, watching him with the expression of a kicked puppy. Clearly, he had something to say to Shou but so far, he hadn't worked up the courage to confront Shou.

What might the blond want to say? The brown-haired student guessed there would be words of apology from Saga. It wouldn't be unexpected coming from Saga. The boy was too considerate, he would apologise if he believed it would help to make Shou feel better, even when he wasn't the cause of Shou's pain, at least not by intention.

Shou sighed deeply to himself, feeling defeated. The teen was not used to feel such misery, not used to tasting this bitter taste of defeat before. What pained him the most was that Shou knew too well in this situation he was _helpless_ , unlike exams and competitions, all of his wit and strength wasn't likely to help him win. 

Although Saga had given him no direct answer when being asked about his feeling towards Tora, refusing to acknowledge there was anything other than obligation between him and his older cousin, still Shou couldn't brush the suspicion aside. Was Saga in love with that brat? Plus if it was the case, then what made Tora more appealing than him!? What did Tora have, that he had not? 

Some might think that Tora got his good look from the get go. Still, looking back at himself, Shou was well aware of his own popularity amongst students. More importantly, he cared about Saga, had spent more time with him and knew him better than Tora had ever been!

Speaking of which, was it his eyes playing trick with him, or was there really a guy who looked strangely familiar with that brat over there? Right outside of this dusty construction site across the street?

Shou stood still, turning his head to the direction of the construction site in question. He tried to focus on the black-haired figure that seemed to be so suspiciously similar with Tora, but the man in question had already turned his back on him, walking back inside the work site.

The figure soon disappeared into a group of construction workers, who also wore similar protective clothing and bright yellow coloured hard hats. For a moment, it was difficult to tell each worker apart from others. Before he knew what he was doing, Shou found himself crossing the street, his feet leading him towards the construction site in question. He made it all the way to the entrance of the site, though he didn't dare to walk straight in because the few workers who stood near the entrance were eyeing him openly, probably wondering why a schoolboy would appear out of nowhere and stand before their site. Their unspoken question showed clearly on their faces: _What is this kiddo doing here?_

Even though he was clearly aware of the fact that non-workers shouldn't be getting near construction site due to safety and security concern, still, Shou did his best to avoid workers' curious gaze, focusing on a few black-haired tall workers in sight. 

 

It took some time, but Shou eventually found his target: a lean figure who also wore the uniformed reflective vest on top of his sweat-stained shirt, whose face was hidden mostly beneath his hard hat. Now this person was moving alongside his colleagues, carrying wooden boards and other heavy items. Obviously, he was only a site labour instead of a skilled one. Comparing with the other workers, the guy appeared to be slimmer and paler in appearance, making him look different from the rest of the tanned, heavily built, seasoned workers. Could this person be who Shou thought he was...? 

Just as his luck would have it, Shou's target took a turn in direction and his face was finally revealed to the brown-haired student. Shou gasped loudly when his suspicion was confirmed. Across the crowded construction site, Shou recognised the face of his fellow schoolmate _and_ rival: Tora. Although Tora looked quite different from what the brown-haired teen used to when he was wearing his clean-cut school uniform. Clad in a borrowed reflective vest and a dusty sleeveless white shirt, Tora looked battered.

It really was Tora! Shou knew he had made no mistake on it. But what was the brunette doing in this place?

For a moment, Shou was at loss; he did not know what he should do with this newfound knowledge of Tora working in a construction site. Thankfully, the dark-haired teen was oblivious to Shou's presence. He was too far away from the entrance and too concentrated on his tasks at hand to notice one of his schoolmates was standing right outside of the work site. Therefore, at the moment, Shou was spared from the awkwardness of having to confront Tora.

Should he share his discovery with someone else? But whom should he be mentioning this with...? Who would believe him if he went around telling people that Tora, the proud, self-important brat was taking in a minimum-wage job of construction work behind everyone's back?

“Hey, kid?”

Shou was jolted awake from the haze of his own confusion by a sharp voice shouting at his direction. The student looked up, only to find one of the construction workers—the same group which had previously been watching him hovering at the entrance of the construction site, was now calling out to him. Whilst the other workers watched on with unveiled curiosity. 

“ _Nani_?” Puzzled, Shou answered.

This time, a middle age worker from the group asked with a smirk, “Are you looking for part time job here, kid?”

Shou shook his head slowly. Much to his chagrin, the middle age worker and his colleagues burst into a fit of laughter after seeing his response.

“What's so funny?” The brown-haired couldn't help snapping back.  
“We don't take minors in, kiddo,” The worker answered matter-of-factly, earning him another outburst of laughter from his colleagues.

Feeling awkward, Shou ducked his head and walked away from the construction site. It was after he left the site behind, then he realised the worker who talked to him was actually right. There was no way for construction to hire minors, not when they were aware of it.

The facts clicked in his mind like two pieces of fitting puzzles. Though he didn't know the reason beyond Tora working at a construction, still Shou knew now he had discovered one of Tora's secrets, which the brunette would want desperately to keep from the others if he wanted to avoid troubles.

to be continued.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had been repeating the scene of his confrontation with Shou in his mind, wondering what he could have said to change things for the better. He had been as honest as he could with Shou, but the latter couldn’t accept it. Couldn’t accept he didn’t love him _enough_ to become a couple.

** Chapter 23C **

 

Saga returned home from school at dusk. It was the last day of their final exam, the blond felt drained, both physically and mentally. He was glad exam was over today.

Today, he left school on his own, just like he had always done in the past weeks. Back then, Shou would usually accompany him; but sadly, in the recent period, the two weren’t even in a talking term anymore.

Shou...

He had been repeating the scene of his confrontation with Shou in his mind, wondering what he could have said to change things for the better. He had been as honest as he could with Shou, but the latter couldn’t accept it. Couldn’t accept he didn’t love him _enough_ to become a couple.

But he did the right thing, didn’t he?

He could tell Shou was avoiding him, but with their final exam approaching, it wasn’t as if he could demand the brown-haired teen to spend time with him always.

Shrugging the thoughts about Shou and their argument out of his mind, Saga went to his room and changed to his casual wear.

When he left his room, he caught sight of his aunt walked out for the master bedroom down the hallway, carrying a food tray with empty plates on top of it. His uncle, Mr. Amano, had returned home from the hospital and Aunt had been taking care of him as much as she could at home.

“Hey, Aunt. How’s Uncle?”  
“Saga, there you are,” Mrs. Amano smiled at her nephew, “Your uncle is now resting. So, are you feeling good today?”  
“I’m fine,” Saga nodded.

Although in fact, he his mood hadn’t always been bright and pleasant due to the fight he had with Shou in these days; and he had lost sleep for a few nights within this week, but those were such minor things, not worth making his aunt worry, so he kept them to himself.

“Dinner for us is almost ready. Let’s get downstairs.”

Saga nodded and followed the older woman down the stairs.

Their housekeeper had helped preparing the dinner; different dishes had already been placed on the table when the two arrived to the dining room. They sat down around the table; before long Nao also came down to join them.

Soon they began to eat, still Saga caught his aunt seemed to be a bit...distracted, during dinner she kept looking at the direction of the entrance for a few times, as though she was waiting for someone to arrive...

“What’s the matter, aunt?” Eventually, Saga couldn’t help asking.  
“Tora won’t be home for dinner, again.” She turned to look at him, sighing.  
“Err?” Nao gave his mother a questioning look.

She looked from Saga to Nao, a look of hesitation clouded her face, “It’s about Tora. Do you notice he has always returned home late?”

Saga gave her question a thought, then realizing he in fact had been seeing so little of his cousin in the past two weeks.

“Maybe he’s out with his friends, Mother. You know how he is,” Nao suggested before sipping a spoonful of soup.

Mrs. Amano didn’t say anything in response, still looking worry and a bit displeased. She threw a concerned glance at Saga, but the blond could only shook his head before looking down and helped himself with another mouthful of cooked vegetable, though suddenly he couldn’t taste the food in his mouth anymore.

He knew what his aunt was thinking, she was worry about the mention of Tora’s unexplained absence would upset him.  
He didn’t want to think about it, but the images of Tora having fun with his friends, partying at night without a care, actually did make him feel upset, more than he had expected, it was almost like he was left behind.

to be continued.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora’s back stirred when he heard the question. He turned around, too fast even, to face the source of the voice. It was Saga. He didn’t expect him, of all people, to catch him red-handed returning home so late. However, when he finally spoke, he tried to make himself sound casual, “Why are you asking?”

** Chapter 24 **

 

Tora sighed, he was feeling more tired than he had ever felt before; work had been even more demanding than he imagined. He couldn’t complain, though. He was the one who needed the job…and money within such an extremely short notice, in the first place. The raven head checked his watch and found that it was twelve past midnight. It was a good thing that he rode his own bicycle, because by now, bus or train was no longer available.

Tonight, he came home especially late, because it was his last day at work. Still, he couldn’t help smiling as he touched upon his pocket and felt the content inside. Today, he had finally brought home his payment. 

When he finally reached home, Tora parked his bicycle near the gate before entering the house. He didn’t hear much sound seeping from the inside of the household, so he guessed everyone must be already gone to bed. Adjusting the strap of his bag, Tora locked the double doors again, before he turned on his heel to go straight to his own bedroom. His eyes were focused on his moving reflection in the ceramic floor, making him unaware of the figure that had been watching him in silence since the first time he stepped into the house. Tora walked through the short hallway between the entrance and the living room quietly, for the first time in his life he was so glad to be at home, and the comfort of his bed was only a short walk away. He had almost reached the end of the stairs when the figure he had past moved behind him.

“Where have you been?”

Tora’s back stirred when he heard the question. He turned around, too fast even, to face the source of the voice. It was Saga. He didn’t expect him, of all people, to catch him red-handed returning home so late. However, when he finally spoke, he tried to make himself sound casual, “Why are you asking?”

It wasn’t an unexpected response, knowing Tora and his attitude; still Saga couldn’t help being taken aback, for Tora’s counter attack made himself conscious of how he was making himself sound oddly like a suspicious wife questioning her husband’s whereabouts.

Shifting his weight from one foot to another, Saga murmured, “Aunt is worry about you going out at night so often...”

Tora’s eyes snapped shut for a moment; he wiped his temple in annoyance, “Why can’t you all just mind your own business?” 

“Don’t say that,” Saga replied as calmly as he could, “Your mother is only worry about you.”

At first, Tora didn’t say anything. Then a slow, mocking smile spread across his face, “I still don't see how it could be your business.”  
“And you’re still not answering my question,” Saga did his best to make himself sound as if the raven head’s remark didn’t bother him at all, “Why are you being so secretive if it’s not a big deal?”  
“I’m fine by myself!” Tora insisted, “I just don’t want people to dive their noses into where they shouldn’t be. Happy now?”

Saga sighed. Although the older boy claimed that he was fine, still the dark circles under his eyes, his thinning cheeks, his obvious exhaustion when returned home, were telling him otherwise, “You know, you can at least try to share what's on your mind with me.” 

What Saga said had made Tora snort in mockery, “What are you? A Facebook status or something?”

Saga was getting annoyed, “I’m trying to help you!”

“How? How exactly could you help me?” Tora snapped, “My Old Man will never understand. He already has Nao, a very perfect heir of the Amano family. He also has you, an obedient soon-to-be son-in-law that everybody loves. He doesn’t need me. Never does.”

Saga could not believe his ears, “What’re you talking about?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know!” Tora groaned in annoyance, “Why must you all need to rub the obvious fact right into my face?”  
“I...I don’t mean anything like that!” Saga was shocked by Tora’s words. He knew the brunette’s relationship with his father was tensed at time, but Tora was going so far by stating that his father didn’t want him.

For once, Tora managed to calm down. He heaved a long deep sigh, ignoring the bewildered stare from Saga, as he seated himself on the sofa. He had his hands propped his head, before he lifted his face up, looking at nothing in particular.

“Sometimes I reflect it in him...or her. Because no matter what, my blood runs in their veins. You may be the one who’s carrying the infant, but I’m still the father. And I...don’t want my child to feel unloved. Just like I do.”

Saga’s eyes went wide in shock. It was the very first time he heard Tora mentioning about the infant, and _his_ role in the unborn infant’s life. He had said...unloved? Was that what the raven head had felt from his parents all along?

The realisation pained him; Saga could still remember what it was once used to be between Tora and his parents, the closeness and trust between them. But they had grown apart, especially Tora and his father...

Tora shifted his gaze to Saga, unsurprised to see the expression on his cousin's face. He turned on his heel then.

“But of course you won’t understand,” The taller teen had said before he left.

For a moment, Saga just stood there, dumbfounded; but after Tora’s silhouette went out of his sight, then the blond unfrozen, snapping back into motion. 

“Wait!” Saga went after his cousin. He saw Tora pause for moment as if he was about to turn back; but in the next second, the older boy straightened himself and kept walking up the stairs without turning his head back.

“Hey!” Saga called out again, trying to catch up with Tora; but the latter showed no sign of slowing down. Instead, Tora was walking as quickly as he could without breaking into a run.

“Wait a second!” The blond started to climb up the stairs as well.

He didn’t know he was unconsciously walking faster and faster, but Tora was still right ahead of him. The taller boy was about to turn a corner, but before he did that, Tora looked back at his younger cousin, a look of surprise suddenly flashed across his face

Then much to Saga’s surprise, Tora stopped and turned his body fully to face him. Now instead of averting his gaze elsewhere like the raven head had previously done when confronting Saga, now the older teenager was staring at Saga straight in the eyes, there was an unexpected flowing of emotions.

The blond slowed his pace, stopping only when he came right in front Tora. He wanted to say something, but Tora’s stern expression made it difficult to speak...

Tora’s arm shook out to grip Saga's shoulders and then he hissed, "What do you think you're doing? Running like that!”

Running? For an instant, Saga was confused, not understanding what Tora was referring to and why the older boy was mad. But then a light bulb popped up in his mind, the blond realising Tora was angry that Saga had run up the staircase in order to chase him.

In the heat of the moment, Saga had completely forgotten that a pregnant person wasn’t supposed to be running, especially not up the stairs..

Tora watched the shorter boy’s face closely, and saw realisation slowly surfaced on the latter’s face. He sighed, scolding his cousin in a slightly calmer tone, “You could've endangered yourself...and the baby.”

“I...I...am sorry. I didn’t mean to—” Saga’s voice trembled with worry, the image of himself falling down on the hard floor kept repeating itself in his mind.

The blond had expected Tora to snap at him again, but instead his cousin gripped his wrist and started to pull him towards one of the rooms nearby, which happened to be Saga’s bedroom.

Tora dragged the shorter boy towards a chair near the bed as soon as they walked through the door, the blond slightly noticing that he had forgotten to lock his room when he went downstairs much earlier. 

The older boy waited until Saga came to understand his silent command and sat himself down on the chair, whereas the raven-haired teen stood before him, towering over him with his arms crossed over his chest. His forehead was slightly creased; clearly, he was still a bit mad.

Saga sat with his head lowered, his eyes fixed on his own laps, like a child being scolded for his wrongdoing. Normally in a situation such as this, sooner or later Tora would throw a smartass remark or two, just to see Saga being embarrassed; but surprisingly, the raven head had kept quiet, waiting for Saga to realise his own mistake. It gave the blond just enough time to recover and remember why he ran after Tora in the first place.

Taking a deep breath, Saga turned his head to face the raven head, “You are wrong.”

Tora blinked, surprised by Saga’s statement and the certainty in his voice; but he refused to acknowledge what Saga had just said by replying.

“You’re wrong about your parents not caring about you!” The blond insisted, his upper body leaning forward, getting closer to Tora; as if he was challenging the older boy. “And you’re being so unfair, saying things like they don’t love you!”  
“What makes you think you understand what’s going on between me and my parents, huh?” Stubbornly, Tora was still refusing to look in his younger cousin’s direction, but his entire body was tensing.  
“Have you ever listened to what aunt and uncle said when they were talking about you?” Saga pointed out, “They _love_ you as much as they do Nao. Tora! How can they not?”

Turning his head with a violent motion to face Saga finally, Tora snapped. “Oh, I so know what my Old Man has to say about me! I know he thinks I’m a failure.”

“It’s not true!” Saga exclaimed, but Tora’s expression told him the older teen didn’t believe what he had said.

“He doesn’t think you are a failure! Uncle is being stern only because he—” The blond had meant to defend his uncle, still his voice caught in his throat when he struggled to explain to Tora why the latter’s father was always so stern with him. He tried, but he failed to find an explanation, which would be enough to make Tora understand.

“Because of what?” Tora asked with mockery clear in his tone.

For the longest time, Saga couldn’t come up with an answer. 

“This conversation...” Tora sighed, uncrossing his arms, “...is over.”

Taking one last look at his blond haired cousin, Tora murmured under his breath as he tried to leave, “I told you that you won’t understand, anyway.”

Saga reacted by catching Tora's wrist and stood up.

Being caught off guard, Tora stared at the shorter boy in bewilderment, even forgetting to free himself.

Looking determined, the blond made his promise to Tora in a firm tone, “I will try to understand.”

“I said, you wouldn’t—” The older boy shook his head.

“Then why don’t you make me?” Saga countered quickly, “Why must you keep all these things to yourself? Who complained to me about not wanting to be shunned away? You did! So why can’t I have the same wish?! Why can’t you believe I’ll try to understand?”

“Why would you bother then?! Why?”

“Because believe it or not, I care about you!”

Tora gazed at his cousin’s face, which was flushed due to anger and determination. The teen didn’t see that coming. Part of him wanted to believe what Saga said, though how could it be? Saga was the last person he knew, who would care about him. Hadn’t he had just come up with the realisation that there was barely a thing between them to make Saga’s caring about and trusting him possible?

But when Tora looked into Saga’s eyes, he saw the truth that against all odd, there was chance that Saga really did care about him.

“You...” Tora felt himself moving closer to Saga even though he didn’t remember himself ordering his feet to move forward. Now the blond teen was right within his reach, “You really mean it?”

“Why. Yes!” Saga answered, annoyed by Tora doubting each of his words. The annoyance had made him become bolder and more direct than usual, keeping him from realising of how close his cousin was getting to him.

The younger teen had expected Tora to come up with more words of denial, but instead the next thing he knew, he found himself being pulled into Tora’s embrace. A loud gasp of surprise escaped Saga’s lips. The embrace was not so tight, though the taller boy put Saga’s head in his shoulder with a hand being placed on the blond’s nape, keeping him close.

The feeling of Tora’s arms around him wasn’t unpleasant, still Saga found himself unable to say, nor do anything when he was being hugged like this. It felt like his brain was shutting down, and his will no longer mattered. As if in a trance, he felt himself giving in, his arms came to awkwardly encircle around Tora’s mid torso.

Vaguely the blond could sense Tora shifted, then he realised Tora had buried his nose in the crook of his neck.

The blond shivered and jumped in surprise as he sensed Tora’s warm breath against his skin, his mind snapped clean for a moment. He would have backed away if Tora weren’t keeping him secure in his arms. However, his sudden movement made the raven head lift his face up, though slowly. Then their eyes met.

For a moment, it seemed time had ceased to exist. They simply stood there, looking right into each other eyes. Neither of them was able to say anything, making any sound to break the spell.

As the silence crept on, they began to fall deeper into their own thoughts, and then it just happened.

Saga couldn’t remember who moved first in the next moment, maybe it was Tora, maybe it was him, or both of them had stupidly tried to move at the same time. The next thing he knew, their lips were brushing together. Tora’s face was so close, it was the only thing in his view, and he could see the shock in those dark eyes mere inches away from his own. He knew Tora was as taken aback by this as he was.

Though it didn’t stop Tora from moving to catch Saga’s lips between his, nor did it keep the blond from responding almost instantly to the kiss.

Saga gasped again in surprise as he felt a hand caressing his waist, his body became overly sensitive as he came to be aware of Tora’s palms slowly moved across his clad torso.

Seizing his chance, Tora slipped his tongue between the blond’s parted lips, into the warm cave of his partner’s mouth, his tongue tangling with Saga’s, demanding his surrender. Meanwhile, he busied himself with trailing beelines up to his partner’s spine, then go up, up, up slowly all the way to his nape. It sent shiver down Saga’s spine, causing him to moan.

The sound made Tora groan, he was surprised by Saga’s response but it did let him know he was doing something right. He felt the blond lean into him for support as if he was growing weak on the knees.

One of Tora’s hands reached blindly along Saga’s side before it found the latter’s hand, interlacing his fingers with Saga’s. Then with his remaining hand sneaked down to the small of the blond’s back, Tora guided his partner to sit down on the bed.

They broke the kiss for a moment, both struggling to catch their breath. Saga half sat, half laying across the bed, with Tora leaning close to him, his arms still wrapped around Saga. Nothing could be heard but the unsteady sound of breathing they made.

At the back of his mind, Tora wondered how he felt so...comfortable around Saga. Which was so strange to him. He didn’t understand the feeling, yet he knew he liked it. Like he belonged there; in Saga’s embrace. For an instant, it felt everything was all right. It felt like he was accepted and cared for; it felt as though every worry and doubt could be forgotten. Tora didn’t want this feeling to come to an end. So then, he squeezed Saga’s fingers gently and guided the latter’s hand to rest on his back. As desperate as it might sound, Tora desired some sort of protection. Although he couldn’t even fathom why he would want to be protected by Saga, of all people. As if sensing the raven-haired teen’s fear of loneliness, Saga granted Tora’s wish by embracing his taller cousin. For an unknown reason, there was a string of connection between them; an understanding that they shared within a second. Because speaking of loneliness, Saga knew he had grown used to it; that he even became friend with it. Therefore when he sensed the familiar sorrow in the very figure of his usually tough cousin, Saga had this strong feeling that, no, he didn’t want Tora to feel lonely, as much as he did.

The hands that wrapped around him surprised Tora a bit. He had partially expected Saga to pull away from him, or do anything that would cause less physical contact with him. This was where Tora realised of how lowly he thought of himself; that in the depth of his heart, his conscience told him that he didn’t deserve his cousin. Nevertheless, Saga clung so tightly to him as if his life depended on it. The blond responded to his kiss with the same eagerness and passion. Tora pushed back all the bad thoughts, wanting only to savour the rare moment between him and Saga. Because action spoke louder, and he learnt that thinking only exhausted him.

The raven-haired teen’s hand that rest on Saga’s hips slowly made its way inside the younger teen’s shirt. Tora heard his heart pound loudly against his chest as he did that; as if he feared that his blond cousin might push him away. Nevertheless, the sound of pleasure that escaped his cousin’s lips told him a different story. Tora even felt Saga’s fingers clutch tighter on his shirt. By now, the blond teen had fully laid flat on his back; one of his tall cousin’s hands was on the back of his head, whilst the other had begun sneaking inside his shirt. Once Tora’s palm brushed Saga’s silky skin, he felt warmth radiate through Saga’s body heat. Tora eased a chance to rub his calloused thumb on the skin, drawing circles on it. He heard Saga sighing into his mouth; and as if guided by instinct, Tora’s lips pressed down to the column of his cousin’s neck, placing small kisses upon the soft, sensitive flesh. He was being greedy; he wanted more. He needed more—

 

It was when he heard a gasp from Saga, he did come to realise of how far things had gone. Pulling his hand away from inside the blond teen’s shirt, Tora drew back as well. He took one glance at his cousin, whose eyes still shut tight. However then, those beautiful eyes fluttered open, and Tora felt like a lightning had struck him as those eyes widened. Tora could tell that his were doing the similar action, for both teenagers had just come to their senses; that their minds had just registered of what they had just done. Tora didn’t see the bewilderment that appeared on Saga’s face, as he had already turned away, eyes widening and one of his palms capping his mouth. His forehead creased in worry, and before he could prevent him from saying it, he had already slipped the words, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t dare look at his cousin; his eyes focusing on the ceramic floor instead. In his mind, he was now blaming himself of what had happened. He realised that in a way, he had taken an advantage from his cousin again. Saga didn't know what to say in response. His mind was still jammed hopelessly by what had just taken place, now his confusion only grew bigger when Tora suddenly pushed back and apologised out of the blue. What did he mean by saying that?

Then realisation dawned upon him, pain pierced his heart as Saga heard the sound of someone gasping loudly, only to realise he was the one making the depressed noise. 

The blond peered up at Tora, who wouldn’t even look him in the eyes. There was a reason to explain Tora’s behaviour, and Saga thought he knew what it was, “You regret it...”

Saga’s statement shook Tora out of his tangled thoughts of self-loathing. One glance at the blond, and Tora found out that he had made a mistake. Saga must have misunderstood his apology. He turned again to face his cousin, reaching out an arm to touch his soon-to-be spouse, only to have Saga drawn back from his touch.

“No. That’s not what I intended to say, really,” replied the dark-haired teen.

But Saga only shook his head slowly, hurt and mistrust reflecting within those deep brown-coloured eyes so clear. The blond couldn’t make himself believe in what his older cousin had said.

At this moment, Tora wanted nothing more than to comfort Saga. However, it seemed he couldn’t think of anything to say to calm the blond-haired boy, couldn’t think of anything to do to wipe away the sadness in those eyes. Instead, his reached arm fell down to his side again, as he whispered the same words, “That’s not what I intended to say…”

The sincerity in the raven head’s voice made Saga pause from shaking his head and not looking at Tora, slowly his eyes came into focus and rested on Tora’s face, he whispered. “Then what were you—”

A vague memory replayed in Saga’s head; a memory that he denied all the time, because he feared that it was not entirely true. Nevertheless, the familiar deep voice that was whispering in his head sounded real; sounded true… Tora’s voice, saying to him, _“… I like you… but I’m afraid. That’s why…”_

Meanwhile, when looking into Saga’s eyes like this, with their faces mere inches away from each other, at the back of his head, Tora recognised a strong sense of déjà vu. He had been in the same situation, had seen the same scene before. He had once held Saga so close, looking deep into the blond’s eyes in the same way; he had a strange feeling that he was about to say the same thing just like he did during the previous time... He could sense the words ‘I like you’ were hanging right at the tip of his tongue, begging to be uttered once again.

On the other hand, the realisation came to Saga in full force, almost as if it slapped him across the face. Saga brought his hand up to his mouth, capping it with his palm. He felt nauseated, for reasons unknown. Tora noticed the discomfort showing on his cousin’s face and becoming worried, he asked the blond, “Are you okay?”

“No...” Saga shook his head, sounding weak. His other hand flew to his tummy, resting on it, nearly squeezing it.

“Wh-what the…?”

But the painful whimper from Saga died down the rest of Tora’s words. The raven head himself began to panic as he saw his soon-to-be spouse crouch in pain right before him. Although within a few seconds, Tora managed to regain his composure and did the first thing that crossed his mind. He fished out his iPhone and dialled the number of the Amano Family’s doctor. He brought the device close to his ear with one hand, whilst the other held Saga’s shoulder in an attempt to soothe his pain. Tora heard the dialling tone, along with Saga’s whimpers. He squeezed his cousin’s shoulder gently, reassuring the blond that he would be okay; although deep down, the taller teen was not one hundred percent certain with his own words.

When his call was finally answered, Tora felt relieved. He quickly explained the situation to the doctor on the other line and asked—ordered—him to come to Amano Residence, as soon as possible. By the time he ended the call, he just realised that Saga had actually wrapped his fingers around Tora’s wrist so tight, it almost hurt the taller teen too. Pocketing his iPhone back into his jeans pocket, Tora then manoeuvred the blond to lie on his back. He grabbed Saga’s feet and put them on the bed as well. He noticed Saga’s hand, which was still squeezing his tummy, and without thinking further, placed his own hand above Saga’s.

“It hurts…” whimpered the blond again, eyes watering.

“You’ll be all right,” convinced Tora, his other hand wiping the sweats that had formed on Saga’s forehead, “Wait here.”

“Where are you going?” Saga sounded afraid, “Don’t go.”

“I’m just gonna call the others. I won’t take long,” but the fear within his cousin’s beautiful eyes was enough to make the taller teen kneel back down beside the bed. What he said next startled him, yet he heard the determination in his tone, “I promise.”

The raven head stood up, half-heartedly releasing himself from Saga’s tight grip. When he reached the door, he turned to see his cousin; a look of worry was visible on his facial feature. Nevertheless, he had to tell the rest of his family about Saga’s condition, lest anything worse happened to him.

 

To be continued.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tora’s right, Father,” Nao chose to step in, “Saga is his fiance. It’s only natural if he wants to see him. Even though it’s pretty late at night to see each other.”

** Chapter 25 **

 

The doctor walked down the stairs with his briefcase tucked under his arm. He had just done checking on his young patient in the latter’s room. 

He wasn’t surprised when he was greeted at the bottom of the stairs by a dark-haired young man, who wore an anxious expression on his face.

“Doctor, is he alright?” The young man asked immediately before the doctor even reached the ground floor. The older man had no problem recognised the voice, this one was the same person who called him previously with so much urgency. 

The doctor gave the young man a once-over before he spoke, “Are you a family member? The patient’s husband? Boyfriend?”

Tora swallowed hard, “We’re...engaged.”

The doctor nodded, seemed to be pleased by Tora’s answer, “Your betrothed is resting now. I had done my checking and found no illness or immediate health problem on his person, nor the infant he’s carrying. His pulse and heart rate are normal. There’s also no sign of food poisoning. I would advise him to stay at home and take a lot of rest in the next few days. He would recover if he’s given medicine to cope with the ache.”

“But he was in so much pain...It didn’t happen before,” Tora murmured uncertainly.

“Stress tends to affect a pregnant person even more than it does to us, especially during their early state of pregnancy,” The doctor explained, “When a person becomes pregnant, his or her body would be already gone under a lot of pressure. Therefore, extra stress would most likely worsen their physical condition. That’s why a pregnant person should avoid stressful situations as much as possible.” 

“Are you saying he’s weakening because of stress?”

“Most likely,” The older man nodded, ” As his partner, you should ask him what had put him under so much pressure, and make sure that he won’t be put to the same situation again. If there’s any change in his condition, you need to contact me immediately. Just to be on the safe side. ”

Before Tora could say anything in reply, Tora’s parents and Nao also came up to join them. The doctor then explained Saga’s current condition to the Amanos. 

Soon the doctor excused himself, leaving Tora to face his parents.

“I shouldn’t have told him...” All of a sudden, Mrs. Amano whispered under her breath as if it was an afterthought.

“Tell him what?” Tora asked.

For a moment, his mother looked uneasy, “I think...maybe I shouldn’t have told him about you going out at nights.”

“You mentioned _this_ to him?” Now Tora knew why Saga would ask of his whereabouts. 

“I’m sorry, Tora. But you have refused to tell anyone where you had gone. I was worried. I...couldn’t stop myself from bringing it up,” Mrs. Amano looked away, biting her lips, “Perhaps, it made Saga worry too.”

For a moment, Tora wanted to blame his mother for bringing the whole thing up in front of Saga, but the rational part of him knew his mother was not to blame, he was the cause of Saga’s condition. He could have simply told the blond where he had gone; it should be no big deal, but when Saga questioned him, he just couldn’t bring himself to cooperate. 

“It’s okay, Mother,” Tora looked up at his mother’s worry face, “I’ll talk to him later.”

“What have you done, Tora?” His father, who stood holding a cane in one of his hands for support, had remained silent in the doctor’s presence, but now he spoke up. 

“Why must you think I’m the one who has done something!?” Tora nearly hissed, the way his father accusing him without any proof made him mad.

What had he done? At the back of his mind, the boy recalled what had just happened in Saga’s bedroom before the blond collapsed.

“It isn’t the first time you put Saga in distress,” Mr. Amano said almost matter-of-factly, the memory of his younger son’s irresponsible behaviours still fresh in his mind, “I had expected you to man up and not do this to him again, but it seems I’m wrong.”

Mrs. Amano looked from her husband to her son, with an anxious look on her face.

“Besides, what were you doing in Saga’s room, in the first place?” His father added.

Almost all the anger died down once he heard his father’s last question. He felt his face grow warm, and he bowed his head, clenching his fist.

“I...”

“What?”

“It’s not what you think!” And he knew his face must have reddened more when he said that.

“Just cut it out!” Tora gazed at his father angrily, “Believe it or not, I would not hurt him, ever.”

“Tora’s right, Father,” Nao chose to step in, “Saga is his fiance. It’s only natural if he wants to see him. Even though it’s pretty late at night to see each other.”

Tora blushed hotly hearing his big brother’s comment. 

Their mother let out a nervous chuckle, as if it was to cover up her amusement. Luckily, their father had gone quiet after hearing Nao’s remark. 

***

A day had passed since Saga regained his consciousness, and during that time, Tora had managed to go the jewellery shop to buy the wedding rings, all by himself. He didn’t tell anyone about it, not even Hiroto. When he returned, his mother informed him that Saga had awoken not long after he was gone, and asked if Tora wanted to talk to the blond or not. Nodding, Tora ascended the stairs, heading to his fiancé’s room.

He knocked on Saga’s door, soon he heard a ‘Come in’ so he opened the door and got in. Saga was sitting on his bed with his back leaning onto a few pillows against the headboard. The blond looked up from the book he was reading when he heard the door being opened. 

“Hey,” Tora tried to smile at his cousin as the latter quietly watched him going into the bedroom, crossing the short distance before he stood before his bed.   
“Hello,” Saga replied as the older boy sat down on a chair next to his bed.

There were only the two of them in the room. Now the blond’s eyes were glancing at everywhere but not at Tora’s direction.

“Are you feeling better?” Tora asked, though he was fully aware of how awkward the situation was.  
“I guess so,” Saga replied in an uncertain tone.

Tora nodded his head like a good kid, despite he did think Saga’s reply sounded half-hearted, “You know...Did something happen?”

“What’re you talking about?” Saga blinked uncertainly.  
“Did...something happen that upset you?” Tora felt pathetic asking the blond such question, “Yo-you know, the doctor said that our condition might be caused by stress...”  
“Stress...” Saga leant back to the pillows behind him as he thought about what the doctor had mentioned, his chocolate brown eyes stared down at his own hands, “I guess it was because of the exam...?”

There was a sense of finality in Saga’s voice, as though the younger one wanted to end the conversation right there. Exams tended to stress people out, still something didn’t feel right....

Eventually, the raven haired teen found himself saying the first thing which passed through his mind, “There’s something more, right?”

“Huh?” Saga was taken aback.

For a moment,his eyes locked with Tora’s, who steadily returned his stare. Those eyes were watching him so intensively now, as if Tora was telling him that they had already done beating around the bush, and the older boy would not be distracted by excuses this time. There would be no more delay or running away from the main subject, this time Tora wouldn’t let him.

Saga found it had become difficult to breathe, “I met Shou on the riverbank the other day.” 

“And?” His older cousin frowned, he couldn’t say he was caught off guard when he heard Shou’s name. On a subscious level, he knew Shou was part of the unfinished business.

Swallowing hard, the blond teen found himself struggling with words, “We had a fight, sort of.”

Tora’s brows knotted even tighter together as he heard the sadness in the blond’s tone. It was new to hear about Saga mentioning what was going on with his best buddy, more unfamiliar still was hearing about Saga mentioned him and Shou fighting. In his memory, the two simply _did not_ fight, at least not without making up with each other in the very next day.

Plus, it was the first time Tora had ever heard about this meeting with Shou. It shouldn’t have bugged him but goodness, it did.

“What did you two fight about?” Remembering Shou’s bad reason to the news of Saga being well, engaged; and the almost-kiss between Shou and Saga in the schoolyard, Tora thought he knew what was the two fighting about, still he had to heard it from the blond, he had to be sure.

Still, guilt pierced through him when he saw Saga’s face clouded with confusion and hurt.

With great reluctance, Saga whispered, spilling the beans, “Shou said...he loves me.”

“Oh,” Tora replied dryly.

Again, the mention of a confession from Shou didn’t surprise him. But he felt anxious for being uncertain of how Saga had reacted to his best friend’s confession.

“Do you love him?” He knew it was a mistake to bring this up, but Tora couldn’t help himself.

Saga’s jaw dropped in shock. 

“What are you talking about?” The blond groaned in annoyance, the unhappy memory of an angry Shou demanding an answer to the same question still too raw to handle, “I think of Shou as a dear friend, not a love interest!” 

“Who do you love then!?” Tora asked before he could pause and think the better of it. There was a desperate tone in his voice, though the raven haired teen had failed to realise that.

For the longest of time, Saga couldn’t reply.

Eventually with his eyes downcast, the younger teen whispered in a barely audible voice. “...No one.”

Tora heart sank. 

Saga slowly looked back up at Tora, and was shocked to see the older boy’s expression have gone blank. Did he say something wrong?

“Err...I mean—”

“It’s okay,” Tora forced himself to reply in the calmest tone he could muster, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

Saga blinked in disbelief. 

Tora shifted his gaze back to Saga, only to say, “... You should get some rest,” before he stood up. But Saga noticed the slight movement from his cousin. As if the taller teen wanted to pat his head before he stood up, but then cancelled it.

Tora was at the door when he paused and spoke up again, without turning back to face Saga, “I promise I won’t hurt you, Saga. Not again.”

Saga’s eyes widened, he thought to himself, did he just hear Tora addressing him by his name? 

Tora rarely uttered his name these days. The older boy seemed to always avoid calling his name in all kind of situations, He didn’t know why the brunette was like this but it was just the way his older cousin was. Whenever it had become absolutely unavoidable, Tora would address him as impersonally as possible with ‘greetings’ such as “Hey, you!” or simply a nod. So why did Tora change now?

The blond -haired teen let himself slip downward till the back of his head nested among the pillows. So many questions awaited to be answered, so much confusion filled his heart ever since the half-memory of the bewildering _“I like you”_ resurfaced, thought he still failed to work up the courage to mention any of these in front of his cousin. 

Gazing up at the ceiling, Saga began to realise he might not know as much about Tora as he had given himself credit of.

***

Going downstairs, Tora managed to find his older brother, eventually he found Nao in the hallway.

“Nao, I want to talk,” Tora went straight to the point by requesting to talk with his big brother in a private place, just the two of them. As a result, both of them retreated to the family’s study.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Asked Nao, leaning back onto the bookshelf.

In fact, Tora thought he should at least tell someone about what he had been doing for these past two weeks, since the wedding was only days away. He was running out of time.

Fishing out something from inside his jeans pocket as he walked closer to his big brother who was watching him curiously, Tora spoke, “I…I want you to keep them.”

Nao stared at the tiny red velvet box in Tora’s palm. His eyes grew wide as the realisation hit him.

“You didn’t…?”  
“Yes, I did. These past two weeks, I’ve been gone to…to obtain these. I have my reasons of not telling you guys,” explained the younger teen.  
“But—”  
“Don’t worry. I didn’t rob a bank,” Tora chuckled, but then he cleared his throat, suddenly aware that it was not the proper time to joke.  
“Where have you been working then?” Asked his big brother again.  
“On a construction.”  
“But that place could be dangerous!”  
“Not, if you’re being careful.” Tora insisted.  
“Tsk. Always so stubborn, are you?” Nao shook his head, but Tora caught the hint of an amused smile on his big brother’s lips.

“Keep them for me until...the...wedding. Okay?”

Taking the tiny red box from Tora’s palm and inserted it to his own pocket, Nao patted his little brother’s shoulder, “Okay, I’ll keep them for you.”

Tora was about to thank Nao, but the shorter man had suddenly pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Brother… you’ve become more mature than you give yourself credit for. And I’m glad for you! Even though I didn’t expect to attend _your_ wedding before mine, still I wish you good luck!”

At first, Tora wasn’t sure what to do; but then his lips formed into a smile as he hugged his big brother back.

 

To be continued.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was surprising that Tora had came up with the suggestion of visiting the cemetery before their wedding, It came as even more of a surprise for Saga to notice how easy that trust could come in between him and Tora, that in the recent days, the blond could feel an among of trust toward his older cousin, feeling confident that the latter was willing to look after him. It finally felt like they were in the same boat, so it became natural for them to care for each other.

** Chapter 26 **

 

The days followed Saga's collapse were surprisingly calm and uneventful. Just as the doctor had predicted, Saga had made a noticeable recovery, although the blond teen was far from being energized and active, still everyone in the Amano household could breath easier when Saga recovered enough to leave the bed and carried on his daily affairs as usual at the day after the incident.

Life more or less had returned to normal as days slowly slipped by and the preparation for the wedding went smoothly underway. 

But it wasn't the same for Tora, what had happened that night and what had been uttered between him and Saga didn't leave his mind. He also kept recalling how his younger cousin tried to convince him that his parents indeed loved and cared about him. In any other day, the dark haired teen would only frowned at such an argument, but this time, his thoughts kept wandering back to what Saga had said that day. 

Tora used to be angry about how his father always viewed him as a disappointment and how his mother didn't really understand, at least his parents were still around, he could still see them everyday despite of the arguments between them. But in Saga's case, he didn't even have that.

His late parents had been gone for years, the younger boy could not, in any kind of situation, see them in person. When he was upset or in trouble, he didn't have his parents to return to.

It wasn't the same for Tora, whose parents were always there, maybe for this fact alone he should give more respect to his father and mother than he currently did? Was his constant arguments with his parents upset Saga more than he had realized? 

Then it hit him, there were only two more days to go before their wedding, and there was a place where he could take Saga for a visit.

Once the thought took shape in his mind, Tora no longer wasted anytime, he went upstairs looking for his cousin, once again he found Saga in his own room, this time the younger boy was sitting on a chair, looking out at the windows.

The sound of the door opening jolted Saga out of his train of thoughts, the younger boy looked back to discover Tora standing by the door. He was about to ask what Tora was doing here when the latter spoke up.

"Would you mind coming with me?" As always, Tora went straight to the point. "There's somewhere I want to go with you." 

Saga slowly stood up, for a moment he seemed to be uncertain, but after all they had been through, the boy thought he could trust that Tora wouldn't come up with a suggestion without any good reason beyond it. 

"Okay." The blond replied. "But mind to tell me where are we going?"

***

Later in the afternoon, the two boys ended up taking a bus for their trip. It took about half an hour to arrive at their destination. After leaving the bus station, it took them a short walk before them stood the front gate of the cemetery.

They walked through the gate before entering the graveyard, slowly making their way to the spot where Saga's parents rested. Back then, whenever the blond was having troubles or feeling sad, he would visit his parents' grave, sitting before it and talked to them they same way like when they were still alive. Of course Saga was fully aware of the fact his late parents could not answer him, still since young, being in here made the boy felt somehow he was still close to his parents, that they were not completely gone.

He was aware of the fact that to many people, wandering in the cemetery must be quite a creepy thing to do, still Saga thought those people had overlooked the fact that cemetery was not such a bad place. Once you put enough time to observant the surrounding, you would notice the smooth greenly hill, the warm sunlight seeping through the branches, the wild flowers, the peaceful atmosphere, making it a good place to memorize your loved ones.

The blond recalled during his primary school period, how some of his schoolmates had turned their backs on him when they learnt that he used to visit his parents' grave in his spare time, until he finally learnt not to mention about those visits anymore. He also recalled it was always Tora who stood up and defended him when the other children made fun of him with the same topic, calling him "weirdo" and the other nasty names. Tora never called him weird because of his need of visiting his parents though, instead he always accompanied him to the cemetery, even though Tora wasn't so fond of the place himself.

Today Saga was carrying a small bouquet of white chrysanthemums with him on his way to visit his parents' grave. Tora walked quietly beside him, the older boy had previously took his hand and wrapped it around his own elbow without asking. Saga didn't mind though, for he knew Tora did it in order to get him some support, clearly being considerate of his delicate state of health.

It was surprising that Tora had came up with the suggestion of visiting the cemetery before their wedding, It came as even more of a surprise for Saga to notice how easy that trust could come in between him and Tora, that in the recent days, the blond could feel an among of trust toward his older cousin, feeling confident that the latter was willing to look after him. It finally felt like they were in the same boat, so it became natural for them to care for each other.

Now he stood in front of his parents' gravestone, he put the flowers down and laid it in front of the grave.

"Hello, Mum, Dad. How're you today?"

"There's something I need to tell you." Saga whispered. "I should have came earlier, but...I hadn't been well lately."

"What I want to tell you is that, I'm having a baby."

Silence fell in after the blond finished his sentence. Saga held still without saying anything further, it was almost like he was expecting some kind of answer, which never arrived.

But in Saga's mind, he was almost sure that if his parents were really there, they most likely wouldn't have reacted well to the news of their son's pregnancy.

The thought saddened him almost instantly, for he would rather have his parents being angry with him than his parents not being here.

"I know it's a lot to take in, since you probably would never expect me to have a baby at all so very soon. But I had decided to keep the baby. I'm going to raise him like you did for me."

Another long pause then followed before Saga continued, getting to the important part. 

"And I'm going to marry the baby's father, and he's someone you also know." The blond added, as if saying that would be enough to explain his situation. 

"It's Tora. Your nephew, remember? We're going to---"

His voice traced off as his cheeks heated in embarrassment, it was still awkward to admit your untimely pregnancy to your parents, in any given situation. Goodness, it really was getting awkward...

"What I'm trying to say is, you don't have to worry about me. I think I'll be okay. Because..." 

He paused again, thinking how to express what he knew from his heart.

"Because I'm not alone."

As soon as he said the words, Saga knew they were true. Despite of the difficult situation he faced, he still had the support from his uncle and aunt, from Nao, even from Tora... 

_I promise I'll never hurt you like this again..._

Tora's words lingered in his head, the older teen had made a promise to him that day, and up to this point, Tora had kept his words. As strange as it might sound, Saga could actually tell that the raven head was trying to look after him, just like now, when the older boy made the effort to follow him all the way here, only to make sure he would be alright.

For the longest of time, a sense of hope and belief swollen in his chest, maybe things would work out, after all.

"In fact, my wedding day will take place the day after." Saga whispered. "How I wish you can be there..."

Then the blond bent his head in prayer, closing his eyes, he sank deeply into his own thoughts.

That was true, his parents' absence would be like a gaping hole which couldn't be closed up, as well as Shou's absence. Though he knew he would have to bear it.

Perhaps his parents would not have agreed with many of his decisions if they were around, still it would mean so much if they could simply be there, to witness this significant moment of his life. 

"Mom, Dad. I'll have to go." After the prayer, Saga spoke again. "I'll be seeing you---"

Before he could finish the sentence, his voice broke and the blond teen could feel hot tear tracing down his cheeks. Why did he say these words? It was stupid. He should have no there was no 'seeing you again', not in the real sense, not the way he had always hoped for.

His body began to shock as he buried his face with his palms, trying to keep the sobs in.

Blinded by his own sorrow, Saga did not notice someone approaching him from behind, not until he felt hands placed on his shaking shoulders, pushing him toward a familiar embrace. He didn't need to look up to know who that person was, he knew it was Tora, who was now pushing Saga closer to lean on the his shoulder.

The blond knew how embarrassing he must look, but right now it was the last thing in his concern. He leaned into Tora's shoulder, relaying on the older boy to support him---sharing the weight of his sadness. Tora let him do this, allowing him to rely on him in this moment---so Saga couldn't help but letting his usual strong front slip. He was letting his older cousin see his weakness and at the moment, Saga didn't care, as he continued to sob quietly on Tora's shoulder. 

At first Tora remained silent, knowing the younger boy needed time to overcome his sorrow. When Saga's body slowly stopped shaking, he turned the blond gently to face him, allowing the shorter boy to lean his head more comfortably on his shoulder.

"Don't be like this. I know you miss them but--" Tora murmured next to his cousin's ear. "Just...please don't be sad."

Saga's only reaction to those words was to tighten his grip on the back of Tora's shirt. The older boy couldn't see his face, but he decided it wasn't time to tell Saga to leave his side.

So instead, he looked to where Saga's parents were resting, and started to say. "Hey, uncle and aunt, nice to meet you again..."

The raven head was greeting his late uncle and aunt in the same way his cousin had done. It was a habit picking up from Saga even since he first started escorting his younger cousin to make the trips to his parents' grave. As a child, he knew it usually would make Saga feel better, when Tora greeted his parents in the same causal manner.

For most of the time being within the cemetery, Tora mostly spent it walking along the lanes, picking up stones and tried to play game with them. To think about it,for the child-Tora didn't have many interesting things to do in this place, but the boy never complained. 

From time to time, whenever Saga seemed to be sad, he would rushed to the younger boy's side, and started cheering him up by joining in to the 'conversations', telling Saga's late parents all of the mischief they had gone through, the small everyday affairs, in order to make light of the mood. And now, he might as well try again. 

"There's a lot of things I'd want to share with both of you if you were here, but unlucky I'm still at loss in how to tell you of all those events. But there will be only one thing I need you to know above everything else--"

His words came out in a rush, his own voice sounded shaky and filled with nervousness, but Tora knew he needed to get the most important part out in the open, as soon as he could, or else he would lose the courage to confess.

"I want you to know that Saga will be okay. I'll take care of him!"

Tora drew in a deep breath before continuing. "I had done many stupid things before, but this time I'm very, very serious. From now on I'll look after Saga as best I could. I promise."

Silence was the only reply he got after his own voice traced off into nothingness. But Tora hoped that what he had said was enough. 

The taller boy then waited for Saga to calm down, he stood there, securing the blond teen in a protective hug, saying nothing. He waited until he noticed the blond was breathing in a more steady rhythm.

Tora was waiting for the younger boy to give some kind of response, and he didn't have to wait long. Slowly, Saga looked up, his eyes bloodshot and moist with tear. Their eyes caught at the moment, until Tora gently wiped the traces of tear away with the back of his fingers. Saga blinked, his expression a mix of confusion and sadness, but there was something else too, an expression that Tora at first failed to identify. 

Longing?

Unconsciously, the raven haired boy cupped his cousin's cheek with his palm, he did not pause to think about what he was doing, he simply followed his emotion and did what felt _right_ at the moment.

Tora leaned in to place a sort kiss Saga's forehead. "I will take care of you, that's a promise."

The older boy wasn't sure how his cousin would respond to this, but he surely didn't expect the latter to nod mutely. The blond slipped closer to Tora, tightening his hold. 

to be continued.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all Tora managed to muster as an response, still Saga thought he had caught sight of a faint shades of pink brushing across Tora's cheeks.

** Chapter 27 **

 

"We're done now, Saga san. Now You can open your eyes~"

Saga took a deep breath and opened his eyes as requested, staring straight into the oval mirror before him. He was looking at his own face--there could be no mistake here--but when he first caught sight of his own reflection in the mirror, the transformation still stunned him into speechlessness.

In the morning, his deep blond hair had been washed, dried and then styled by the hairdresser's carefully hands. His newly trimmed hair didn't look too different from his usual style still now his hair was smooth and shinny with the ornamental tiny stardust mixed in. Next, his face was powdered, his lips was softly outlined, his eyelids brushed with a thin layer of smoky dark blue eye shadow in order to ‘bring out the color of his eyes’, as the makeup artist had explained to him when she worked. 

In short, Saga felt like he was staring at someone else's reflection. Someone who was slightly more mature and steady, who was also prettier and more attractive than his usual self. 

He wasn't used to wear make-up, his skin still felt tight under the thin layer of mascara clinging to his face. But for today he had to endure it. For today was his wedding day. Everyone would expect him to be well prepared for the wedding ceremony and the celebration that followed, ready to face the guests who had come to give their blessing.

"What do you think~Saga san?" The makeup artist asked, eager to hear her client's opinion.

"It...it's nice." The blond murmured nervously, he couldn't tell how he was feeling about this transformation, still he was aware that it would be impolite to not give an response. After all, his makeup artist had put so much effort working on him, for hours. "Very nice indeed."

The young woman smiled, taking in the complement, then she bent down to add a few final touches before deciding the job well done.

Saga continued to sit before the mirror, letting the makeup artist do what she saw fit. He stole a glance at his own reflection once more, thinking about how he had to be thankful with the magic of the 21st century's makeup equipment for now he seemed to be able to fit nicely with the outstanding wedding suit he was wearing.

Mrs. Sumimoto's designed suits had arrived a day before the wedding--considered so little time had been given to the designer to finish her works, Saga wasn't surprised by the fact Mrs. Sumimoto's suits had arrived barely on time. His aunt had given the large boxes with the suits in them to both him and Tora for keeping. Saga brought his box up to his room, but it took him a long to work up the determination to open the lid and saw for himself what Mrs. Sumimoto had made for his wedding day.

When he finally did open the lid, peeling off the soft, airy layers of protective gauze, Saga carefully laid first the suit jacket, the shirt, a few smaller ornamental pieces and finally the long trousers on his bed for examination, his breath caught in his throat when he took a good look at Mrs. Sumimoto's creation. 

But in the next second Saga put everything right inside the box then closed the lid quickly. 

He was worry. Did both his aunt and Mrs. Sumimoto expect him to wear this outfit to the wedding? How could he possibly hope to handle such a set of suit without making a fool out of himself?

Mrs. Sumimoto's design was beautiful...but it was just a bit too... _grand_ for Saga's liking...the blond teen just couldn't see himself wearing such a fine suit and still managed to be anywhere near as good-looking, or natural as Mrs. Suminoto's models.

It looked like his aunt was a bit carried away by her excitement with all the fuss concerning the wedding, even after all her talks about keeping the wedding low profile. And Mrs. Sumimoto's effort at creating amazing wedding suits was like dropping coals to the fire.

For a moment the blond wondered what Tora's suit might look like and how would the older boy react to what he had been given, but soon enough he brushed the thought out of his mind. He figured Tora would be too self-confident to be worrying about his outfit.

 

When the makeup section finally came to an end and Saga was deeded ready, it was already 12:30 in the afternoon. The wedding ceremony was expected to start a few hours later. From within his room, Saga could hear people walking around in the garden downstairs, making preparation for the wedding.

According to Mrs. Amano's plan, the guests would arrive in the afternoon, then the wedding ceremony would start in 2:00PM. Saga had already had the timetable memorized, he also had gone through every detail, every step in his mind.

But it did nothing to smooth his nervousness. Saga knew nothing could prepare him for the upcoming hours of ceremony and banquet which he would face the guests.

The guests included their relatives and some of the family's close friends. His aunt told him they would be expecting about 50 guests. 

By now, he make-up artist had finished her work and retreated, Saga was left alone in his own room. All he had to do now, was to wait.

Now he sat on a small stool, across the room there stood a full length dressing mirror, he could see his reflection within the smooth screen. The blond studied himself careful, now his hair was finely done, his make-up finished and intact, the suit he wore fitted his slim frame flawlessly. He noted that even the waist part was fitting, his gently swollen tummy was covered by the jacket, without being too tight and uncomfortable.

Mrs. Sumimoto was clearly an amazing designer--although Saga knew she was outstanding by simply looking at the photos of her other designs, still when he looked at his own reflection in the mirror and saw himself wearing the creamy white dress shirt with the deep gray silver suit jacket on top of it, he once again realized his worry was misplaced. He had feared that he would look awkward in the suit--like a little boy wearing his parent's clothes; worrying that Mrs. Sumimoto's design might look too grand and showy, but right now, everything seemed to suit him well enough, which meant he would have one less thing to be worrying about on this day.

He was still in the middle of looking up and down with curiosity when he heard a knock at his door.

"Please come in!" Saga called out without looking back at the door, thinking it was his aunt coming upstairs to check on him. But he gasped when he saw in the mirror that it was Tora walking into the room.

"Tora?" Saga turned back sharply in surprise.

When he took a better look at his older cousin, Saga's breath caught in his throat. 

Being the opposite of Saga's own light silver-themed suit, Tora's suit was made of sash of richly black color, which matched his raven hair while making his pale skin even more stood out, the most eye-catching design being the beads of leave-shaped ornamental made of light, deep blue color half-transparent fabric, which drifted from his left shoulder to the top of his left chest. The simple design of his black suit also brought out his tall, lean frame. Saga couldn't remember the last time he had seen Tora dressing so formally. But in one word, the older boy looked quite handsome, even more so than usual.

"...Is there...anything?" When Saga spoke his voice wasn't as steady as he had intended it to be, the blond didn't know the reason why.

For a long time Tora did not say anything, he simply stood at the entrance of Saga's room, the door slipped close behind him. His eyes fixed upon his younger cousin as though he could not quite understand what he was seeing, or as if he was......bewildered. 

"You're pretty." 

When the older boy finally spoke, it did not sound like he was opening a conversation, instead it was like he was simply voicing out his thought, without thinking about it first. 

".......So are you." Saga didn't know what had possessed him but the sentence was uttered even before he could have any second thought.

Saga's response caught Tora's attention immediately, he stole a glance at the shorter boy, before quickly shifted his eyes elsewhere again. 

"You think so?"

It was all Tora managed to muster as an response, still Saga thought he had caught sight of a faint shades of pink brushing across Tora's cheeks.

“Huh.” Since there wasn’t any reason to lie or dance around the subject, so Saga answered truthfully. He really did think Tora looked even more handsome than usual when he was dressed up like this. Though at the same time, the blond also realized so far Tora had not mentioned the reason of showing up in his room, before their wedding.

With careful steps, Tora drew a beeline as he moved further into the room, shortening the distance between him and the blond teen. He looked down at his shoes when he came to a stop in front of Saga, and spoke again. "Are you......nervous?" 

Saga blinded, unable to think of something to say in return. He did not expect the raven head to show up, told him he was pretty, then asked whether he was nervous in the next.

"Well, I think I am..." After a long pause, Saga knotted his fingers behind his back, whispering. "And how about _you_?" 

Tora looked away almost shyly, his hands waving before him to form a series of nervous gestures as he struggled with his words. "That...it's quite, _unsettling_ , right?"

The corners of Saga's lips twisted up slightly for almost a smile of amusement. He knew what Tora had said was the closest thing for him to admitting he was nervous, too.

"I mean, it's really happening..." Tora's voice traced off before he could finish his own sentence.

Saga nodded with agreement, he knew what Tora was thinking. It was difficult to believe the big day was upon them.

It was an understatement to say he was nervous about the approaching of his own wedding. They would be wedded this afternoon, it was what people would jokingly call 'sealing the deal', right? And the whole ceremony would take place in front of so many people. It felt unmistakably _real_ to Saga, the situation had already gone way beyond his childish scheme, now he had no other choice but to face the circumstance of his own making--- 

"But I guess...it will be okay."

Saga's train of thought was broken by this softly whispered sentence, his sight drifted back to Tora's face, the raven head boy was staring straight back at him.

"I'll be here looking after you, I promise."

Like many of the other things Tora had said to him today, Saga barely knew how to react to it accordingly. It wasn't the first time for Tora to make a promise like this, that other time in the cemetery, just two days ago, the raven head had said the same thing...though he was crying at the time being so it had been difficult to keep focus, still Saga knew what he had heard that day, the smoothing words Tora whispered to his ears...

A surge of warmth washed over the blond, without think , he shifted closer to his older cousin and softly put his head on Tora’s shoulder. "...Thank you, Tora."

Unable to translate his feeling into words, a 'Thanks' was all that he could manage to say in response. He felt...relief when Tora made that promise to him, it had given him comfort.

Saga felt the older boy stirred beneath his touch, like he was surprised by what was happening. For an instant he was certain Tora was about to back away---and disappointment unexpectedly rushed up. Saga cocked his head to look up at the older boy. Was all those promises of looking after him just empty words?

Tora’s gaze was fixed upon him, for once, the raven head wasn’t averting his eyes away from Saga’s. At first the taller boy did not move, but it was only for an instant. Before long Saga felt a pair of hands came to rest on the small of his back, drawing him even closer as the two looked into each other’s eyes. 

They stood in the middle of the room. Without breaking their eye contact, Tora lowered his head a bit so now his forehead was pressed against Saga’s.

At this moment, which felt more like half an eternity, Saga saw Tora’s lips trembled slightly, he sensed that the raven haired teen was about to say something. 

_Say it. Whatever it is in your mind, please say it..._

_Don’t make me wait--_

Desperation rose up from the bottom of his fluttering heart, Saga needed to know what was in Tora’s mind. He had been anticipating a moment like that, for Tora to...just say something. Something that was true, something that would allow him to touch back down on the solid ground, instead of kept him hanging in the mid-air of uncertainty.......

“I......”

Tora’s breath was warm brushing against his skin, Saga held his own breath, waiting for whatever would escape his cousin’s lips. 

It was so close, but in the last minute, Saga saw hesitation in his raven haired cousin’s eyes. As this happened, the tension between them was also drained out, it happened so quickly as if it was never there in the first place. The blond could watch helplessly as the older boy slowly pulled himself away.

Tora ducked his head and mumbled under his breath as he took a step back. "I gotta go..."

With that he was gone, opened the door and walked out of the room. He didn't look directly at the younger boy again, not once, before he left. Leaving Saga to stare at the empty spot he had previously stood, alone with his complicated thoughts and a growing sense of disappointment. 

to be continued.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steeling himself mentally, Tora moved towards the side door at the left, he was to wait here before it was time for him to walk up to the centre of the stage and took his vow.

** Chapter 28A **

 

Tora quietly closed the door behind him, taking a few steps only to pause and leant against the wall next to him.

Although it was still daytime and Tora was known for being energetic, but right now, all he could feel was tiredness clinging onto his limbs like an invisible weight, threatening to drag him down.

He was supposed to be in high spirit and everyone else seemed to expect this from him. He had thought seeing Saga—his _partner in crime after a fashion_ , would make him feel more at ease, but after seeing the younger blond, he only seemed to get more nervous than before. 

Previously, he had been downstairs and what he saw had also uneven him, a lot. There were people everywhere, some of them were busy completing the preparation for the wedding, a few of them were close relatives, visiting earlier than most guests to aid his mother. They all smiled good naturedly at him as he passed. What else should Tora expect? Everyone was happy for him, for today was _his_ wedding day. Everyone seemed to be in a delightful mood, but Tora, the focus of the others' attention, failed to share the happy atmosphere around him.

The thoughts about the wedding ceremony kept him on edge. Worse, those thoughts about The. Freaking. Wedding. Ceremony was something he couldn't ignore, especially not today. How could he avoid thinking about it when said ceremony would take place today, in the afternoon?

He questioned himself: Why was he doing all this for?

Tora had been asking himself the same question a couple of times in the past. How could he live through this whole day? How could he go through the ceremony when he still had so many questions and doubts filling up his mind?

At the back of his mind, Tora could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, the raven head looked up just in time to see his father appeared at the end of the hallway. Mr. Amano was dressed finely in an old schooled three pieces suit of deep grey color, when the older man saw his son standing on the hallway, he stopped, his graying browns knotted with a frown almost out-of-habit. 

"Don't just stand here, it is about time," Mr. Amano highlighted in a firm tone.

Not having the heart and the energy to argue, Tora ducked his head and followed his father, making their way downstairs. 

Deep down, the raven-haired teen knew he did not really want to go to the main hall, for the place had already been transformed into the site for the ceremony. Since the wedding was supposed to be 'family and friends only', so it was decided that the ceremony would be held within the Amano's household, for booking a hotel's hall or other sites would be a bit too grand and...public. Need not to mention, Mrs. Amano had personally overseen the preparation. 

Mr. Amano was oblivious to Tora's reluctance and the older man just headed straight to the main hall. Once again, Tora's breath almost caught in his throat when he took in the site of his wedding.

There were flowers—roses and daisies of white and light pink, which wasn't so much of a surprise since the teen knew it was obviously his mother's idea. Thankfully, his mother did not stuff the entire hall with flowers; instead, she arranged the flowers in simple patterns. The curtains were all drawn back, revealing the large French windows and the garden outside. There wasn't much need for artificial lighting for it was a sunny day outside. 

In between rows of nicely set up round tables and chairs for the guests, there was a narrow red carpet leading straight towards the other side of the hall. An area had been left unoccupied, and this cleaning would serve as an altar for the wedding ceremony. A narrow stage had already been set up for the ceremony; beyond the stage, a screen made of pure white gaze had been hang down from the ceiling, serving as a backdrop.

There were still a few servants lingered around, readjusting the tablecloth or setting the chairs in perfect order, finishing the final adjustment. In Tora's eyes, everything seemed to be at its final state, ready. Things were so perfectly _finished_ and _ready_ that he could do nothing to change a single small detail. He couldn't stop anything, not now.

At the corners of his eyes, the raven head saw his father talking to the servants, telling them to get ready to let the guests in, according to the timetable. Tora quietly drew in a breath, time really was near.

Tora knew what he was supposed to do—after all, his mother made it a point to have him memorised all the details beforehand, he should wait for the guests to arrive and the ceremony to begin. And after that, would be _the very difficult part_.

Now the moment was almost at hand, Tora was still not able to believe how...caught off guard he was by the entire situation. He also would never have guessed he would find the marriage arrangement to be so much a struggle to handle. Back then, Tora viewed this arrangement between him and Saga as a... challenge, a task he had to face and overcome. The rule of the game was to fool everyone into thinking they both were willing to take responsibility and became a properly wedded couple. So everything was supposed to be an act, a performance both he and Saga must work together in order to carry out—for their own very different reasons.

Back then, Tora didn't once expect things to get so...complicated, he never expected his...emotion to get so tangled up with the whole marriage business. It was supposed to be simple, it was supposed to be something he had to endure in order to get his parents off his back. But since when things became out of hands and he was confusing himself with his own thoughts and out-of-character actions? He couldn't even begin to wrap his mind around all these.

Beside this, the raven-haired teen used to convince himself he was doing it in order to get even with Shou, he was also doing it to make a point to his father, but now......he was no longer so certain. 

Shou punched him, in front of half of the student body no less, the brown-haired boy had caused him to lose so many faces that day. But now, when he thought back to the whole incident, Tora felt it actually look kind of _foolish_ for him to hold onto such a grudge against Shou for so long.

The whole deal about keeping Saga out of Shou's reach and the overly possessive way he had been feeling towards the blond teen, could it be more than just about competition? Or could it really be about...jealousy? Was that what he had been feeling all along when it came to Shou and his relationship with Saga?

Was that the reason why he feel upset when Saga confessed to him about the fallout between him and Shou? Was that the reason to explain why he instead of feeling satisfied for his own good plan working out just as he had once intended, that he felt more concerned and worry about the emotional impact and negative effect said fallout had caused to Saga's well being?

Could it be the true reason for him to desire punching Shou right in his face after he witnessed how shattered Saga was in the aftermath?

Why on earth did he feel protective to Saga? Not just about the incident with Shou, but also about his physical well-beings? And the unborn infant? Why had he slowly but undeniably grown to be so concerned with Saga? Why?

Had he grown to realise he had to be responsible to Saga and the unborn infant? Was this the reason why he cared so much?

Responsibility and Tora did not always go hand in hand together, but Saga had once requested him to take up responsibility for the unborn baby.This was part of the reason why he got himself in this hot mess. But one event had led to another until the two of them reached the point of having to undergo this whole marriage stuff, with a _wedding_ entailed.

It was neither something he wanted, something he would have asked for, or something he would have desired for himself, but why was he still going along with the whole deal right up to this moment, instead of blowing it all up? Did he undergo so much for the mere sake of responsibility?

He had heard of stories about people getting married only out of responsibility and obligation before. Those marriages always led to unhappy couples and even more unhappy, miserable children. He would not want this for anyone.

Instead he wanted Saga to be happy, above anything else he also wanted to be happy together with Saga—

Wait! Since when did his goal change into this?

Why Shou and his father's opinions seemed to long take a second place in his mind? And in their place, Saga and his feeling took the central stage instead, and the whole drama with Shou and his father faded away?

The teen frowned, feeling pressure building within his temper, a headache at its wake. It was like something was trying to force its way out to the surface, something he would hate to admit. He had been trying to avoid facing it for too long—

"Tora?"

Someone was calling out to him, it took him a second to realise it was Nao, who rushed to his side.

His older brother reminded him, "It's time for you to go to the front and be ready!"

At first, Tora stared back at his brother blankly, it took him a few more seconds to take in his surrounding and realised the hall was by now half filled by finely dressed guests, and more were steaming in. Goodness, he must have lost his trace of time.

He nodded to Nao before following the older one to take their place before the low, narrow stage in the front. Their father, Mr. Amano had already been moving from one table to another, socialising with their guests, shaking everyone's hand, playing his part as the cheerful host and the proud father. Their mother was also nearby, being surrounding by a circle of well-wishers.

Nao glanced at his watch, then whispered to his younger brother that the wedding was supposed to begin in less than 15 minutes. Tora bit his lower lip, he knew he was supposed to wait before the altar before the ceremony started, whilst his brother would wait beside him for moral support, acting sort of like a best man. 

From across a distance, Tora saw Hiroto's small figure appearing in the crowd. Hiroto's light blond hair was all brushed up stylistically and he was wearing a black suit with red vertical patterns upon it. It didn't take long for the shorter boy to find him, and Hiroto raised his arm high above his head waved at him, with a huge smile of encouragement on his face. Tora couldn't help smiling back, even though his own smile felt tight due to nervousness. Both of them knew they would not have much chance to chat before the wedding ceremony was completed.

Soon, Hiroto was showed to his seat. By that time, most of the seats in the hall had already been taken. At this moment, Tora was very well aware of the attention he was receiving. All eyes seemed to be on him as the guests sat, waiting for the wedding to be started. Anticipation and excitement was thick in the air. 

After chatting briefly with the wedding planners, Nao turned and elbowed his younger brother to inform him that everything was ready, and now it was time to get started.

Steeling himself mentally, Tora moved towards the side door at the left, he was to wait here before it was time for him to walk up to the centre of the stage and took his vow.

In a traditional wedding for heterosexual couples, the bride would make her entrance by walking down the red carpet with her father, together they would walk all the way to the altar towards the awaiting groom. But in the case concerning the union of same sex couple, most people chose to change the tradition a bit. At the beginning of the ceremony, the two brides or the two grooms were expected to take their places before the front row, standing at the opposite side facing each other across the hall, and they were then expected to walk towards each other at the same time until they met at the centre, before the altar. After that, the ceremony would begin.

Music had started to play in the background; and soon, the lighting within the hall was tuned down into a soft glow. Tora knew it was the signal for he and Saga to get moving. He did his best not to look at the guests—he knew acknowledging their presence would only make him even more nervous, instead the raven head focused his attention on the opposite side of the hall, where Saga was expected to take his place.

He didn't have to wait long. Moment later, he saw a slim figure, standing opposite of him from across the hall. Even from a distance, Tora could see how tensed his younger cousin was, his face voiding of expression. But there was no time to wonder about what he had seen, for Tora knew they _had to_ get moving and began walking up to the altar, now. 

In the past, the raven-haired teen had attempted a number of weddings, and those other couples had made it looked like the walk towards the altar was a cakewalk, but once he took the first step forward, Tora became fully aware of how robotic his movement was, how difficult to keep walking in a straight line when he could feel the gaze of every single guests in the hall fixing upon him. How could anyone handle this without making one silly mistake or another, or even falling face first on the floor?

But with the luck which could only be sent down by higher power from above, Tora found himself standing at the centre of the low stage in one piece, without many any mistake. Saga was also there before the altar, standing before him, seemingly the blond had also made it. 

Since they were not going to perform any religious ritual, there would be no priest for this wedding. Instead, a MC had been hired to guide the couple through the ceremony. As to the ceremony, it was supposed to be something brief but meaningful. The MC's speech was supposedly able to highlight the significance of the union between two youngsters and its meaning to the boys’ family. The MC, who clad in a traditional black suit, had been standing at the central part of the stage ever since the beginning of the ceremony, but curiously enough, his back was turned away from the guests, and the man did not turn back when the couple made their ways towards the altar.

Now the two youngsters were standing before the MC, who was turning slowly back to face everyone. Only after but both of them noticed immediately they realised something was amiss when it came to their MC... 

Strangely enough, now everyone could see that the MC in question was wearing a large pair of fashionable sunglasses and to Tora and Saga, somehow this man looked very familiar...

"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are about to bear witness to the union of these two young men," the MC gripped a microphone nearby, and started to greet the guests in a loud, energised and overall pleasant voice.

That voice—it sounded horrifyingly familiar as well, this voice could only belong to one person—

Both Tora and Saga turned their heads sharply at the MC's direction in growing alarm, only to confirm their worst fear—

The MC of their wedding is no one else but Miyavi. One of their close friends, the legendary senpai in their school, the crazy party animal, the famous dude who every one knew. The ONE AND ONLY Miyavi, aka Miyavi the Great. 

Or in this case, the senpai was currently Miyavi The BAD NEWS.

They both knew that Miyavi's presence couldn't mean anything good for them. The senpai was well known for his wild parties, his unpredictability and his don't give a darn attitude. 

Why was it happening to them? Where did their original MC go? Why would Miyavi be here!?

It shouldn't be happening. At the back of Tora’s head, he vaguely recalled his senpai being the son of his father’s important business partner and personal friend. It could explain why Miyavi was invite to their wedding. _However_ , the raven head also knew his parents—Mr. and Mrs. Amano would never select Miyavi to being the MC of their children's wedding.

But now, the impossible was taking place right in front of them, Miyavi's presence solid and real and _undeniably here_ , making the two youngsters felt like they were living some kind of nightmare, or a really bad joke, or both.

to be continued.

We somehow got the idea of Miyavi as the MC, we will explain why he is here at the first place in the next chapter...


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So Tora san, tell us are you looking forward to get married to this cutie here, and spend the rest of *eternity* with him?”

** Chapter 28B **

 

Hiroto nearly choked when he saw Miyavi turned himself dramatically to face the crowd and the two youngsters who were about to be wedded. More particularly, the two youngsters who were going to be wedded under all the guests and _Miyavi_ 's blessing. 

Of course Hiroto was able to recognize Miyavi right away even when the other guests didn't.The teen was familiar with the sampei, he also had his fair shares of memory joining Miyavi's parties and other misadventures of his. _Plus he also knew damn well his sampei was no professional MC for weddings._

The student shifted a little on his seat. The other guests around him were reacting to the appearance of the wedding's MC quite differently. The older guests--especially those who wore suits and had graying hair, seemed to be confused and taken aback by the MC's youthful look and his...lively attitude. Meanwhile, the younger generation seemed to be amused by the MC's witty nontraditional speech. Giggles could be heard from among the crowd. 

So Miyavi's grand entrance wasn't being badly received, Hiroto let out a small sigh of relief. Right now the crowd was a bit taken by surprise, so he could only hope Miyavi would not pull up any stunt which was too...outrageous, knowing _how far_ the man could go sometime. He couldn't deny the thought made him feel uneasy. He wanted to believe Miyavi meant no harm---given the man's good nature, Hiroto couldn't help but believing his good intention--hadn't Miyavi done enough to make his friends happy in the past, with all kind of shock, pranks and surprise? But the boy also knew his sampei's stunts might be a little too...exciting to most people.

Straightening his back unconsciously, Hiroto put himself upright at his seat, he could not deny things were already out of his hands at that moment. Seemed like no one was to stop Miyavi now. It wasn't like there was something he could do without making a scene. Therefore, all he could do now was to sit tight and pray for Tora, wishing the best for him and his groom, Saga. The student really wished everything would be alright for those two, he now also wished above all things that Miyavi's sudden entrance would work for the couple's benefit...

Speaking of his best friend and his groom, Hiroto could tell how tensed they both seemed to be, even from a distance.

So what was Miyavi saying now? Hiroto wouldn't want to miss any of the older man's speech. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are about to bear witness to the union of these two young men! "

It was supposedly a normal opening speech for the wedding, but the way Miyavi uttered it, his exaggerating tone and super-hyper attention made his speech sounded so humorous somehow. So it didn't surprise Hiroto as the guests erupted into another fit of laughter. 

"Oh dear me..." Hiroto gasped in disbelief. "I can't believe he is really doing that MC stuff!"

His worry had came true, Miyavi would offer his service as a wedding's MC for the first time (hopefully also the last time). And the wedding had already been set into motion, so now there really wasn't much he could do but to hope for the best...

Hiroto hadn't expected to hear anyone replying to his own remark, but out of the blue, he heard a male voice speaking to him, and the voice came right from his left side:

"Yes, who would have guessed? Miyavi the MC?"

The blond student quickly turned his head to his left, and found the speaker to be a man with wavy black hair, who was sitting right next to him. The man in question seemed to be a few years older than him, he wore a pair of fashionable bug sunglasses, a dark suit jacket over a simple t-shirt of dark color, the set was completed with a pair of nicely cut black jean. 

"You know Miyavi too?" Hiroto couldn't help raising an eyebrow.

"Yup, actually I'm the one who has accompanied him here." The older man replied casually.

"You did?" HIroto blinked in surprise that he was sitting right next to someone who also knew who Miyavi really was.

"The name is Zero." The black haired man took down his sunglasses before flashing Hiroto a warm, open smile, holding out his hand for shaking. "Nice to meet you."

"Hiroto desu." Hiroto took the man's hand and shook hands with him. Looking up to meet the older man's eyes, the student couldn't help noticing how handsome, how pleasantly looking the other was. 

"So Hiroto san, are you a member of the family?" Zero asked. 

"Actually I'm not an relative." Hiroto admitted. "I'm here for my friend, Tora."

"As in Tora Amano? " The older man wondered aloud. " I don't know the fellow. But I happened to know his groom."

"You mean you're friend with Saga?" Hiroto was even more surprised to hear that.

"You can say that." Zero gave the shorter boy a mischievous smirk. "Thankfully Miyavi had told me about this wedding and invited me to accompany him here, just in time. Wouldn't have missed little Saga's wedding for anything else!"

"It's very nice of you..." Hiroto sat back to rest his back against the backrest of his seat. He could sense there was something more in what Zero had told him, but at this moment he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. 

For a moment, he wanted to keep talking to Zero until he could find out more about the other man, but by now Zero had already turned his attention back to the front. Hiroto was almost positive that his attention was on Saga, who stood before the altar, far away from where they were sitting among the crowd.

It only got the student to be more curious. So he shifted his chair closer to where Zero was sitting, and asked.

"So Zero san, you're _friends_ with Saga, ne?"

The older man paused for a moment before replying. "We were close once. And Saga is someone I care a lot of."

That was all Hiroto needed for an answer. The tenderness within Zero's eyes when he mentioned Saga didn't escape his notice. 

_Wow, this may be not good_... Hiroto thought.

Perhaps Hiroto's expression had given away his worry, for in the next Zero started chuckling in amusement.

"Easy now, we are in a wedding, and we should be happy for the newlyweds, right?"

Zero's knowing smile made Hiroto realized the older man actually knew what exactly he was asking about when he asked if he was friends with Saga, and knew that Hiroto had already caught on.

Coincidentally, Miyavi had chosen this moment to speak again, so further conversation between Hiroto and Zero was cut off before the student could say anything. Hiroto focused his attention to the "MC", soon he found Miyavi's nontraditional speech was so delightful that it threw most of the guests into a giggling fit. Perhaps a professional MC would not have done it any better than what Miyavi was doing. 

Maybe the whole "Miyavi as MC" thing wasn't such a bad news after all...

***

Back to the altar, thing wasn’t getting any easier for the couple, who would soon be wedded...

"What're you up to, Miyavi?" 

Before Miyavi could open his mouth again, Tora cut in and questioned him suspiciously. He had to murmur under his breath so no one but him, Miyavi and Saga would hear what he had said.

Miyavi answered by smirking at the raven head with an _'I know I can get away with what I am doing'_ attitude. "What? Are you not happy to have ME doing the honor, Tiger?" 

"Do you think it's funny?" Tora countered, his eyes shooting daggers at his sanpai. Normally he would admire Miyavi's ability to turn _everything_ into a joke, making it all playful and funny, but now he was not so amused when the joke seemed to be on him this time.

"It isn't funny. Miyavi sanpei! " Saga added nervously, taking Tora’s side.

"Don't worry, everything will be _fiiiinnneeeeee_. You can count on me to make your wedding memorable!"

The possibility of Miyavi taking effort to make their wedding _memorable_ , was the exact thing that worried the two boys the most. But now the boys were on their own, no one could help them now. Although they both knew quite well that Miyavi couldn’t be the original MC who was hired for their ceremony. Mrs. Amano would not have made such a mistake. 

But right now they had no time to wonder how, when and why did Miyavi manage to mysteriously replace their MC, right now they knew they were about to face a real trial by fire, as though having to undergo a *normal* wedding ceremony wasn’t difficult enough.

“So ladies and gentlemen! It’s the moment I know you’re all waiting for! The wedding ceremony, now BEGINS!”

Miyavi's energized speech was followed by a wave of applause running through the hall. The guests seemed to be delighted by the MC's enthusiasm playful tone.

“So Tora san, tell us are you looking forward to get married to this cutie here, and spend the rest of *eternity* with him?”

A number of guests---mostly the younger ones---started to laugh out loud until one by one they went quiet again to wait for the groom in question--Tora, to come up with an response to the MC’s question, which was more direct and straight to the point than any of them would have predicted. 

Unable to come up quickly with a proper reply, for a moment Tora was speechless, all he could do was to stare at Miyavi with widened eyes, part of him wanted to strangle Miyavi right on the spot, but the other part wanted to proof to the sampei he wasn’t going to lose it and make a fool out of himself in public, he wouldn’t fall so easily over some lame teasing from the older man.

So instead of answering Miyavi’s question with words, Tora reacted by reaching a hand toward his soon-to-be husband, catching the latter’s hand into his own, immediately he noticed how unusually cool Saga’s hand felt as it rested atop his own palm. He frowned, giving himself a mental note to remind himself he should watch out for the younger blond after this stupid ceremony was over, he needed to make sure Saga was really alright

Without a word, Tora brought his cousin’s wrist up and placed a light kiss upon the back of the latter’s hand.

He could hear a small gasp from Saga, and he knew the blond teen must be blushing now, he knew it without needing to look up.

After this ‘display’ of affection toward his groom, Tora straightened himself back up. He glanced at his cousin and he thought there indeed were faint shades of pink across the boy’s cheeks, though he could not pinpoint it was caused of Miyavi’s hilarious demand or his own sudden action.

"Can you see that!? They're _soooooooooooo_ in love with each other, we can tell!"

Miyavi’s excited statement was once again met with the guests’ cheers. But most of the MC’s speech had simply escaped Tora's notice, for his attention was now focused on the boy he was going to be wedded to.

Saga's face was slightly downcast, his eyelashes trembling slightly as he stood quietly in front of Tora, his jaw set with determination. It didn't look much like the happy face of a groom who was about to celebrate his own marriage; instead the blond looked more like a condemned person who was about to face his own trail.

This expression saddened Tora, the same surge of protectiveness rushed up again, filling him with the urge to make Saga happy instead of miserable.

Originally Tora would have let go of Saga’s hand by then, but now he had changed his mind. Instead of letting go, he kept holding onto his groom’s hand, so their arms were linked together as they stood before the altar, for everyone to see.

At the back of Tora's mind, he could still hear clapping and cheering from the guests, even Miyavi could not help chuckling when he noticed the heart-warming interaction between the two youngsters. Their hands remained linked together, his hand cupping Saga's, for a moment the latter looked hesitated, but did not withdraw his own hand. Tora could only hope his action was enough to remind Saga he was on his side, that they were in it together.

"Now it's time for the Big Question. So gentlemen, are you ready?"

Tora was taken aback, for he was certain Miyavi had skipped many parts of the traditional wedding ceremony speech and jumped right to the important part without following much of the standard progress.

Saga was too nervous to make any reply to the MC's good-nature yet teasing question, and Tora wasn't doing so much better neither, for he could only manage a small nod at the MC's direction. 

Taking Tora’s nod as a signal for him to go ahead. Miyavi was pleased and soon he picked up again. "So Sakamoto Saga, will you accept this man, Amano Tora as your lawful husband? Will you vow to treasure and respect him unconditionally, until death do you part?"

There was a pause after the MC's voice died down. The hall fell silent as everyone waited for the blond's reply; even Tora was unconsciously holding his breath.

"I..." Saga was blinking rapidly out of nervousness, but his eyes never left Tora's face as he struggled to find his voice. "......I do."

Satisfied, Miyavi turned to Tora, then he repeated the same standard question: 

"Amano Tora, will you accept this man, Sakamoto Saga as your lawful husband? Will you vow to treasure and respect him from now on unconditionally, till death do you part?"

"I do." Tightening his grip around Saga's delicate fingers, Tora answered the older man's question, loud and clear for all to hear, without hesitation.

Miyavi grinned even more widely, then he continued his speech. "Next, let's move on to the exchange of the wedding rings!"

Without any further announcement , Nao walked up to the stage as well, making his way to where his younger brother and cousin were standing.

Everyone's eyes were now fixed upon Nao and the small tray he was carrying. It didn't take long for the guests who sat at the front to find out there were a pair of silver rings laying on top of the tray.

Saga saw this as well, it took him a second for him to realize he was looking at a pair of wedding rings.

"You...?" Saga looked at Tora in shock, he did not know what to say, how to react when faced by such a surprise.

"Tora did it. He wants to keep it as a surprise for you." As if knowing what Saga was about to ask, Nao explained while grinning from ear to ear.

Saga looked at Nao in bewilderment before turned his focus to his groom again."Does it mean...you bought these?"

"For you." Tora whispered as though words had simply slipped off from his lips. 

Saga's eyes widened as he staring up at the taller boy, for a moment it seemed that some withheld emotion was about to burst out to the surface, but right then Miyavi had chosen this very moment to speak again, breaking the spell.

“Now you may exchange the rings~” Miyavi ‘helpfully’ reminded the newlyweds.

Taking the ring with his free hand, Tora balanced the small object between his fingers and then carefully slipped it on his groom's ring finger.

Then the raven haired teen released Saga’s hand, now it was up to the younger boy to complete the rite. Following Tora’s example, the blond slowly took the remaining ring from Nao, he took a moment to look at his own silver ring with an unreadable expression, as though he still wasn’t sure the ring was real and it was now his to wear. But this moment had passed and with a nod to himself, Saga reached for his older cousin’s hand and brought it up, then he also put the wedding ring around Tora’s fingers.

Slowly releasing Tora's hand, Saga let his own hand fall onto his side again. The warmth of the dark-haired teen's fingers remained in his, sending an indescribable emotion to his heart. He lifted his face up a bit, blinking rapidly as he stared into his cousin's eyes. He felt...odd. After all those years being practically apart from his used to be dearest cousin, they were now _reunited_. By a marriage. A marriage that was discreetly arranged by the two of them, out of schemes and convenience. Saga wasn't sure how he should feel about this wedding. Needless to say, the look on Tora's face wasn't giving him a hint that the older boy was 100% excited either.

Heaving a breath he didn’t know he was holding, it was Tora’s turn to stare down at his own wedding ring, speechless. At once his heart felt full, with so much different emotion swelling within it. Part of him felt relieved for the ceremony was almost completed, but the other part of him felt an unexpected sense of...emptiness at the same moment, for when he looked back at Saga, he was reminded of how much the whole marriage thing was only the produce of their agreement. As strange as it sounded, at this very moment any reminder about this agreement bothered him, though Tora could not quite understand why.

Though neither of them had time to linger on their own thoughts for too long, for soon enough the hall had already erupted into a roar of cheering, applauding and excitement. Both boys looked back at their guests, and both could not stop returning their guests’ cheering with a small smile of their own. At a moment like this it was bittersweet to see so many people had came together in order to celebrate their wedding with so much sincere joy filled the entire hall, but the guests’ joyfulness had only made any realization concerning the truth about this supposed marriage almost unbearable. 

Almost immediately Tora sported his parents at the front row. His mother obviously had tear in her eyes, his father standing close to her, wrapping a supportive arm around her shoulder while watching them, an rare smile spreading across the older man's face.

So caught up at the moment, neither of them were prepared with Miyavi started shouting: "Now, does any of our guest here want to express their objection to the union of these two!?"

His question was met with bewildered stares from the guests and not one single verbal reply.

“No jealous ex girlfriend? Or ex boyfriend?” Miyavi tried once again with a teasing tone, even taking the effort to place a hand next to his ear and pretended to listen hard. This time he was met by a round of giggles and laughter running around the hall, but still no one spoke up to voice out their objection.

The muplited-color haired MC was utterly pleased by the response of the guests, then with a smug look on his face, Miyavi proudly made his next announcement, which everyone was waiting for. "Since there's no objection, now I announce the couple properly and happily wedded. So now you two may...KISS!"

Many of the guests chuckled at Miyavi’s playful demand, and everyone was clapping again at once, filling the hall with waves and waves of cheering and shouts.

For a moment, both of the newlyweds felt vulnerable and utterly unprepared. The kiss was part of the schedule, and _everyone_ would expect them to kiss But when the moment finally arrived, they were just...not ready for this.

So...they were going to kiss because of...public demand. How weird. How embarrassing, but they both knew there was no escape from this awkward, cliched moment, not when their family and friends were so eager to witness this moment.

Tora was the one to make the first move. With one arm snaked to wrap around his groom’s waist, he gently drew Saga closer to him while taking a step toward the blond until the front of their bodies was more or less pressed together.

Now with the taller boy being so close, Saga had nowhere else to look at but to look up at his groom’s face, but he wasn’t prepared for what he saw next. There was something in Tora's eyes that Saga could not understand. Something he rarely saw; had never seen, even. The blonde had no clue what it was, but the warm gaze Tora laid upon him was...sincere, and as embarrassing as it might sound, it made his heart beat faster.

The sound of the guests clapping cheerfully was fading, which Saga found strange. He felt as though he was drowning in Tora's intense gaze on him. Then, like two different poles of magnets, both of them leaned closer to each other. Saga closed his eyes naturally; and as soon as Tora's soft lips landed fully on his, he felt like his heart burst into unfathomable joy. He almost shed tears of happiness, although he could not get why he had to cry at such moment; why Tora's kiss, this time, felt so much different.

Tora moved his lips and pulled him until their bodies pressed ever more tightly against each other, whilst Saga encircled his arms around the taller teen's neck.

By the time their lips parted, Saga stepped back a bit to look up at Tora's—his husband's handsome face. Saga lost his ability to speak when he saw Tora, actually, smiling at him. However, the sudden sound of someone sobbing loudly distracted the newly wedded couple. They both turned their heads in unison to find who made that noise, when they saw Mrs. Amano waved at them, her face was wet with tears of joy; as her husband and Nao hugged her on her sides.

Saga brought his hand up to his mouth and cupped it with his palm, when he could not hold his feelings back anymore. He was sure that he was smiling at the sight of Mrs. Amano looking so happy, but a single tear manage to escape his eye. Tora noticed that and quickly, he interlaced their fingers again and pulled Saga into his embrace. Saga then felt Tora kiss the top of his head, and it was when the blonde half-hid his face in Tora's chest as he started sobbing in the taller boy's arms.

The guests rose up from their respective chairs and clapped their hands again at the heart-touching sight on the altar. If there were any doubt about the sincerity and seriousness of this union between two teenagers, now the doubt had already been put into rest. 

Tora caught a sight of his best buddy, Hiroto, who clapped his hands harder than anyone else did and looked proud of him, as if mentally congratulated him, "You did it, pal!" The dark-haired teen couldn't hide his wide smile at that.

He knew it would be a day for him to remember, always.

to be continued.

Miyavi as the MC has managed to become the biggest excuse to explain away why the MC isn’t saying the traditional wedding’s speech in this story...


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll be right back." The rave head slipped forward to place a light kiss upon Saga's cheek--a little below his earlobe, before excusing himself to walk away with Nao, in order to greet their guest.

** Chapter 28C **

 

Just like most of the guests, Hiroto was on his feet when the wedding ceremony came to an end. As much as he was aware of how cliched it was for a big boy like him to feel so very joyful by a simple exchange of the wedding vows, still he could not help it. The joyfulness had overtaken him so unexpectedly and completely, and he did truly feel happy and proud of his best friend.

So filled with joy that the student was, he had forgotten the new friend he had just made previously, the man who had been sitting next to him. Hiroto only recalled the older man only after the the ceremony was completed and many guests had left their seats in order to go to the front and personally gave their blessings to the newlyweds.

He didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he had a feeling that he should keep an eye on the older man, _just in case_. 

But it was already too late, now Zero was nowhere in sight.

Still Hiroto had a feeling that he knew where Zero had gone to.

“Darn.”

****

After the ceremony, it was time for the newlyweds to greet their guests. With their hands still linked together, Tora and Saga walked down from the small stage. Their guests didn’t waste time before rushing forward to greet them, so many relatives and family’s friends surrounding them like a tide; everyone wanted to give their blessing to the young newly wedded couple. Their relatives and friends commented on how cheerful this wedding was, how delightful it was to see two boys being merrily wedded, how pretty the newlyweds looked today. Some of them even bothered to predict how happily they would be in the future; yada, yada. 

Tora listened to all these with only half an ear--not that he did not like or respect their guests though, it was joyful to see so many people gathering there and all of them were _so happy_ for both of them. However, at that moment he was more concerned about the blond boy who stood next to him, greeting and chatting with the guests as tirelessly and cheerful as he could muster. But it felt they had already been standing there among guests and greeting everyone for long enough a while, and the raven haired groom was starting to worry about whether the wedding ceremony was too demanding for his younger husband.

Tora stole a glance at Saga. The younger boy was still smiling beautifully as he chatted with an older female guest, but the faint hint of weariness that showed in those brown eyes still failed to escape the raven head’s notice.

The groom waited politely till Saga’s chat with the older lady came to an end, before gently tugging the blond groom with him with an arm around the latter’s elbow, Tora started to move both himself and Saga toward the direction of the hallway, thinking he might buy the younger boy a short break before the wedding feast began.

“Where are we going?” 

He could hear Saga whispered next to him, the blond had followed him quite obediently but it was clear he still didn’t know what Tora was up to. 

Before Tora could answer, they came to a halt when they ran right into another guest, who greeted them with an open smile.

It was a man of medium build, with a ringlet of wavy dark hair nearly touching his shoulders, appeared in front of them.

"Saga! It has been a long time!" The man greeted the blond groom once he was in front of the newlyweds.

For a moment Saga was puzzled, but then the black haired man casually took off his sunglasses, almost instantly realization dawned on the blood teen. 

"Zero kun! I didn't know you would be here!" Saga replied with a grin of his own.

"Miyavi kun told me today is your big day." The older man replied with a wide grin spreading across his face. "So I'm obliged to come."

Saga threw his arms around Zero and pushed him into a big strong hug. Although guilt welled up in his heart as the blond recalled how he didn't mention anything about himself getting married to his most of his friends. Therefore, Zero's arrival was a complete surprise. 

He and Zero once had a romantic relationship back when Saga was at the first year of his senior high, they have a happy relationship before Zero's family moved away from town by the end of the year. After Zero's moving, for a period they tried to maintain a long distant relationship before they both realized it wasn't going to work in a long run. Eventually they agreed to break up, while also promising to stay friends. Though, despite the frequent exchange of emails, instant messages, postcards and far less frequent get-together sections, they hadn't met each other for a really long time, until today.

Saga remembered they were not alone only after he and Zero finally broke apart. For a moment he had forgotten his groom was right beside him when Zero showed up.

The blond turned around quickly, looking back only to find Tora still standing at where he had left him behind to meet up with Zero. And it was obvious that the dark haired teen didn't take being ignored and excluded very well.

Sensing Tora's barely veiled displease, Saga tried to lighten the mood by including his spouse into the conversation. "Tora, let me introduce you to Zero, he's--"

But before the blond teen could finish, Tora had already interjected, while giving Zero an one-over. "Your ex, right?"

Instantly Saga was taken aback by Tora's sharp remark, though Zero managed to keep his smile on quite naturally.

While Saga was unable to continue what he had previously planned to say, Zero saw the opening and took over. 

"Hey, nice to meet you. Lucky fellow!" He moved toward Tora with his trademark bright smile, hand reached out for a shake. "I'm Zero. Happy wedding day for you...and Saga!"

"I'm Tora." The raven head had no choice but to take Zero's hand and shook it. "Thank you very much for coming."

After that there was a thick awkwardness hovering above them, no one, not even easy going Zero, could manage to muster a casual conversation.

"So Zero san, are you from college?" Eventually Tora directed his question at the older man, in an attempt to start a normal conversation. 

"You see. I'm in a band." Zero shook his head, but his face seemed to bright up when he mentioned his band.

"Playing bass, aren't you?" Saga filled in before Zero could get to the part about his position in the band.

"I see that you still remember, right?" Zero chuckled.

"You taught me to play bass in school! How would I forget?" Saga laughed just as cheerfully.

Tora didn't say anything. But what Saga had said remind him of that day back when he had just entered secondary school and first discovered rock music and instruments. He played guitar in his room and Saga saw him and looked at him in awe. He also remembered asking Saga to come in and asked, _"Would you like to learn how to play this as well?"_

Back then Saga nodded vigorously as he rushed into Tora's room with the same eagerness as Tora's. They spent this afternoon and many afterward to try figuring out how to play Tora's guitar. He didn't know why this memory would come back to him just now, but he didn't see the point of bringing it up to his newlywed husband and their guest when Saga obviously didn't seem to remember the event while he was busy chattering away with his.............ex-boyfriend.

Tora felt like he wanted to be anywhere but near these two.

"Tora! There you are!" 

Three heads turned to the direction of the doorway at once, where the all too familiar male voice came from. Tora knew it was his older brother. Had his silent prayer been answered?

"What's up?"

"Come with me, Uncle Ryuichi want to see you. He's right over there!" Nao explained, pointing his finger at the relative in question. 

Tora looked from his brother, then back to where Saga and Zero both stood.

"I'll be right back." The rave head slipped forward to place a light kiss upon Saga's cheek--a little below his earlobe, before excusing himself to walk away with Nao, in order to greet their guest.

Unconsciously Saga's fingers reached up to the side of his cheek, touching where Tora's lips had brushed upon while watching the raven head left with his older brother. It felt weird, as if he could still feel the warmth of those lips upon his skin. 

He would have never expected Tora to do such thing, right in front of Zero no less. But strangely Tora's action didn't bother him, nor made him feel annoyed like the other times......

"Quite an interesting fellow, isn't he?" Zero commented, out of the blue.

"Huh?" The blond was confused. 

"Your husband, I mean." The older man explained, his arms casually crossed before his chests. "I never expected you to get married so soon, but your husband seems like a good guy anyway."

"Yes, he is." Saga nodded almost instantly, without hesitation.

Zero looked at his former boyfriend quietly for a moment, before adding. "He also seems to care about you, thought a bit possessive at it."

Hearing the remark, Saga couldn't help blushing deeply. "Don't joke around, Zero!"

The man rolled his eyes. "You're the one kidding right? Didn't you see how upset he seemed to get when you gave me your life-endangering bearhug? "

"Oh?" Saga was taken aback. 

Zero chuckled again at the younger boy’s clueless reaction. "Anyway, I bet your husband would be a handful for you in the future. Don't let him bully you!" 

Saga groaned with pretended annoyance. "Bullying me? He would better watch his back if he ever dare."

"That's the spirit, lovely." Zero laughed, patting Saga on the shoulder, before he took up two glasses of wine from a nearby table and hanged one of them to the blond. "A toast for your happy marriage, should we?" 

Saga nodded to the taller man in agreement, though he felt a little strange to toast with his ex-boyfriend in that situation, plus the irony in the words 'happy marriage' had been driven home as soon as those words left Zero's lips. He knew his ex wasn't mocking him on purpose--how could the latter possibly know anything about the truth of his martial arrangement Still when he made the toast with Zero, there was a slight bitter taste lingered at the tip of his tongue. 

After that his thoughts lingered back to Tora and Nao, if the brothers were going to meet up with their relatives in the hall, then he also should join them in order to keep their guests entertained. With that thought in his mind, Saga said his farewell to Zero and started making his way back, to find Tora.

to be continued.

Zero! Big smiley that he is, I like him so very much even though I usually am those "Die! Smiley, DIE!" type of person!!! XDDDD


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small frown knotted between Saga's eyebrows as he watched the older boy shifting from one foot to another, his eyes glancing at everything in the kitchen without fixing those eyes on him once. The blond waited, bit it didn’t look like his husband would be talking anytime soon.

** Chapter 29 **

 

Tora’s mood didn’t light up even when he was moving across the hall among so many cheerful guests. The fact that he had left Saga behind _with_ Zero, and the fact that Saga was so engaged with his delightful conversation with the older man that he didn’t even seem to recall he should have came along with Tora to meet their relatives, only made him feel worse. 

Above all, the raven haired teen simply didn't seem to be able to get over the fact that Zero guy was Saga's _ex boyfriend_ , nor could he ignore how excited and cheerful Saga seemed to be when Zero came up to them.

Although he knew what was between the blond and Zero must have already been in the past. So currently speaking, most likely there was nothing but friendship between those two, so why did he still feel so bothered by Zero’s presence and how Saga reacted to his ex?

He knew how he had reacted was childish, but he couldn’t help reacting like this. He was driven by an anxiety he had never felt before when he was in Zero’s presence. Zero, who once had a ‘history’ with Saga, who was older and more worldly than  
Tora was, standing before him with so much confidence and ease, and that carefree grin of his. 

No, he wasn’t angry with the older man though. What had bothered him so much was how Saga seemed to be so delighted in his ex boyfriend’s companion. He could sense a strange emotion blooming once he recalled the scene of these two together, chatting away so happily like they went way, way back. A suffocating, twisting, burning emotion which was too complicated to be put down into words. 

This blooming emotion seemed to be a mixture of other strong yet confusing feelings: longing, possessiveness, a sensation both unbearably sweet and saddening. He had never felt this way before with anyone else.

At the back of his mind, he realized it was jealousy he was experiencing, but there was also more than it...

Was this......love?

He wanted to laugh, but nothing came out.

 

"Tora?"

The raven head didn’t realize it was his older brother’s voice calling out to him. As a result Nao even had to wave his hand in front of Tora’s face before he finally got the younger boy’s attention.

"Are you okay?"

Snapping out of his long trace of thought, Tora merely nodded and then followed his brother silently.

It was Saga's idea. Saga had said that the whole deal was supposed to be _temporary_. 

The signs were all there, he should have realized it sooner when they were together in the City Hall, just yesterday.

What was the point of realizing his own feeling _now_? It must be some kind of joke.

Saga only wanted--- _needed_ to hold him responsible temporarily.

Right now Saga needed him, but his need for him would, sooner or latter, expire. So what would it leave him?

And Tora had never expected the mere thought of it would upset him so darn much.

Maybe it was exactly how karma worked. Back then he thought he needed to stay away from Saga, but only after Saga's affection was quite out of reach, then did he now realize just how much he needed this affection.

Out of the blue, Nao moved in front of him, blocking his way. Tora was forced to stop. He was taken aback by his brother’s action. Wasn’t they supposed to be on their way to greet their Uncle? 

Ignoring the younger man’s impatient frown, Nao went straight to the point. “Tora, what’s it?” 

“I’m okay!” Tora sturnbonly replied, hoping his brother would let this pass. “Why are you asking?”

"Then what's that look on your face?" Nao frowned at his younger brother in return.

"Nothing..." Tora looked down unhappily, stuffing his fisted hands into his pockets. "Have just realized what a fool I am."

"I guess it's nothing new to me. " Nao chuckled, trying to make light of Tora's upset-sounding words. "You know, even though none of us had expected the _circumstance_ which results with this marriage..."

Tora's eyes narrowed. So his big brother misunderstood that he was upset about the whole untimely pregnancy business...

But the raven head could never have expected what came out next from Nao's mouth.

"...still I have always thought...that you and Saga would be good together--"

" **You what**?" Tora was in complete shock.

"Mother thinks so, too." Nao answered matter of factly as he patted his brother on the shoulder. "Why else would she be so supportive about it?"

"I don't know." A dumbfounded Tora replied hesitantly. "I think they green-lighted the whole thing to preserve the family's good name or...something like that."

"Then you really are a fool, little brother." Nao shook his head from side to side, sighing exaggeratedly. "They agreed to deal with the whole messy business simply because they care for you, Saga and the baby!"

"You aren't even out of school yet and you're getting married and a soon-to-be-father. Who would have expected it? To tell the truth, I can only imagine how difficult it is to be in your shoes.” 

As he spoke, Nao had decided to start walking again, with Tora tagging along. “But at least you should have more faith and confidence with yourself."

"Nao, I really don't know anymore." Tora said, with desperation creeping into his voice. "Maybe it's all a big mistake--"

"It's not a mistake! Everything will be fine!" The older man patted his younger brother on the shoulder, trying to reassume him. 

"Do you really think this whole thing can work?"

Surprisingly Nao shook his head instead of pulling up some words of comfort and reassure. "Little brother, I don't know what will be in store for you, but I do have faith that you two would figure things out, one way or the other."

Tora knew he needed the support, in fact now he needed all the support he could gather to make things through.

Before the brothers could exchanged anymore word, they had arrived to where their Uncle stood waiting. At this point they would have to put their discussion aside in order to greet their relatives properly first.

****

From afar, Saga saw Tora chatting with a group of gentlemen. He had came after Tora and his older brother, and it didn't take long to spot them among the guests. One of the gentlemen, he noticed, was Uncle Ryuichi. Nao was with them too. The blonde took a few steps forward before he halted beside the raven head and tugged at Tora's sleeve. The guests called out his name and cheered for him, Uncle Ryuichi even pulled Saga into a one-arm hug and proudly told the others how ‘all grown up’ and beautiful Saga was. The blonde could only nod and smile sheepishly at them, accepting their praises.

Tora moved closer to him and whispered, "What is it?" which was replied by Saga in an almost inaudible voice, "Can we have a moment please?"

Nodding, Tora shifted his gaze back to the guests and smiled, "Well gentlemen, if you'll excuse us."

“What did you want to say before?”They were now heading off, away from the main hall, Saga's arm linking around Tora's. The blonde then noticed that Tora was taking him to the kitchen. He had no idea why, though. But once there, Saga instantly turned around to face his husband.

"Earlier, did you want to say something to me? You know, before Zer—"

"Do you want a drink?" Interjected the groom.

Realising that Tora had already moved to pour down a glass of cold water for him, Saga had no choice but to accept the drink and sit down on a nearby chair. While drinking, Tora stepped closer to him, leaning onto the table.

"I just wanted you to take some rest," said the raven head.

Not used to Tora's concern, Saga kept his eyes glued to the ceramic floor, whilst finishing his drink.

"You looked tired," added Tora, after he got only silence from his younger husband.

Saga wouldn't have thought the older boy would pay attention to his well being like this. Although it was confusing still somehow it was strangely...touching.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm okay." 

When Tora didn't respond, Saga looked up only to find an amused smile on the raven head's lips.  
Saga tried to make light of his condition, but the skeptical look on Tora's face made him change his wording a bit. "Well...maybe I'm a little tired, just a bit."  
Still leaning on the table, Tora hummed before he drank from his own glass.

Despite his calm of not being tired, still Saga couldn't deny their short break was indeed refreshing.

The raven head hadn't said anything more, which made Saga think of something to say. He put his glass down and caught sight of the wedding ring, and then he remembered something.

"How come you never told me about the rings?"

Choking, Tora coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his head. The blonde had caught him off guard.

A small frown knotted between Saga's eyebrows as he watched the older boy shifting from one foot to another, his eyes glancing at everything in the kitchen without fixing those eyes on him once. The blond waited, bit it didn’t look like his husband would be talking anytime soon.

"Well, so what's the big deal?" The blond asked, hoping to provoke an reaction from the older boy.

Still turning his face sideward, Tora replied without meeting Saga’s stare. “I bought them, okay?”

The blood looked down at the ring around his finger once more, wondering aloud. “ _How_...?”

Tora ran a hand over his carefully styled hair, without a care of whether he might mess his hair up. He wasn’t in the mood to explain himself. Plus how come Saga and Nao reacted to the wedding rings in almost the exact same way?

“I took a part time.” Tora’s reply in a whisper, barely audible, as though he was shy to give the answer to the blond teen’s question.

This time Saga was the one who was in loss of word, he simply did not know what to think, he had never expected Tora to care enough to put an effort for them both. But in the next second, he recalled those nights from not long ago, when Tora had came home late and how he had refused to tell where did he go. Did it mean he had been working on his part time job back in those weeks, instead of having nightout like he had once suspected?

The thought sent a wave of shock across him. The raven head had been working on part time in order to present this beautiful ring to him. 

How should he respond in a situation like this? At this moment his emotion was too wrapped up for him to express.

“...Thank you.” After awhile, Saga mentioned to muster a reply. “I didn’t know you were working to buy them...”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Still looking at the empty spot near Saga’s head instead of looking directly at the latter, Tora shrugged and then turned away before the blond could notice how red his face was flushing. 

Tora’s stubborn reaction brought a small smile across the blond, though the raven head was still unwilling to open himself to him, still Saga believed he was seeing more of the older boy’s considerate, gentle side, the side Saga remembered well back in their childhood days.

“We need to go back soon. Are you ready to go?”

The younger boy looked up to find his husband standing before him, waiting to take him back to the hall, to once again face their guests.

“Hai.” Saga nodded before accepting Tora’s hand. It didn’t take long for them to leave the kitchen behind.

****

He parked his bicycle outside the gate of Amano's household, looking up at the elegantly-built building. He had heard that the wedding party was held today. In fact, he had received the invitation itself. Shou remembered the day the said invitation arrived at his parents' house. His mother was the one who gave it to him, when the boy was studying in his room. He remembered the worried look his mother had given him when she saw him toss the invitation away right after he read the names. Shou had closed the door again then, isolating himself again in the safety of his bedroom. He didn't even come out when her mother announced that dinner was ready hours later.

Now, he had actually bothered to go. Although he had no intention to show his face in front of Saga. No, he hadn't had the guts to. Shou swallowed hard; he felt as if there was a lump in his throat. His chest tightened, it pained him. Then after awhile, he began pedaling his bicycle again, away from the building. He couldn't take it any more.

Maybe it was a mistake to come here, after all.

No, he couldn't think in that way. He refused to believe his feeling was a mistake. Despite the fact the person who dominated his very thought was marrying someone else at this moment.

to be continued.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiroto had always felt there was something between Shou and Saga, though this ‘thing’ might be a bit one-sided, and he was there when Shou rushed into the school canteen and punched Tora on the face, right after Saga revealed he was pregnant with Tora’s child.

** Chapter 30 **

 

Hiroto smiled to himself as he watched the wedding party unfold around him. He had attended a handful of weddings in the past—wedding ceremonies of his own relatives; so, the student had no difficulty getting familiar with the environment. In a sense, despite the unusual circumstance of this marriage—which the guests were unaware of—his best friend’s wedding was just the same as the other he had attended in the past. The same joyous feeling vibrated in the air, the cheerful chat amongst the guests, happiness that seemed to be endless.

That made him wonder, was it the true reason for wedding? A chance not only to celebrate the union of the newlywed couple, but also a chance for relatives and friends to meet; older generation and the younger to gather, to celebrate the birth of a new relationship. Therefore, people could recall the bond of love, kinship and friendship fondly?

Then, it was announced that the wedding feast would soon take place and the newlywed couple would join the guests again. After the announcement, many of the guests were returning to their respective seats around the tables to wait, but Hiroto had another idea. He had decided to take a break outside of the Amano mansion. 

The blond-haired boy made his way outside, though he found it wasn’t easy to find a spot devoid of guests. He kept searching until he found himself walking to a deserted balcony, which could overlook the front yard. 

Once stepping outside, fresh air filled his lungs at once. The soft breeze was carrying some of the heat away. Just a little above the city’s skyline, an orange sun was slowly setting; it wouldn’t take long for the night to seep in.

He looked down from the balcony as he took his time relaxing, already he was feeling refreshed. He wondered offhandedly as he looked up at the clear sky above head. By nightfall, the wedding party would begin; with a fine weather like this, it was most likely be an enjoyable night for everyone to remember.

Though Hiroto wasn’t look at anything in particular, still when he looked back down at the ground level, his eyes accidentally drifted on a strangely familiar figure across the empty street. 

At first, he didn’t know whom he was seeing. He had to blink a few times, and it took him a few more seconds to realise whom he was looking at.

Shou. 

Hiroto’s heart skipped a beat when he recognised the tall figure of his schoolmate. The latter stood next to his bicycle, he was facing the Amano’s household. Hiroto could not make out much of his expression due to the distance between them.

But one thing could be sure, Shou didn’t look happy, nor did he look like he was going to join in. For Hiroto had noticed, Shou was not even dressed up for the wedding.

That left Hiroto to be very puzzled by Shou’s presence outside of the Amano’s household. Hiroto was certain he hadn’t seen Shou anywhere before and during the wedding. So, why was he standing outside of the house now? Was he being late? But within the next second, the teen shrugged this thought away, for the taller boy didn’t seem to be in any hurry. So why was he here, if it didn’t look like he was about to join the party and give the newlywed couple his blessing?

Whereas Shou continued to show no sign of leaving nor making his way towards the Amano’s massion, Hiroto was left with his own thoughts. The short blond had to admit to himself that he had forgotten about Shou entirely. In school, they didn’t have the same classes and now Hiroto also recalled, recently Shou seemed to be absent from Saga’s side. This was part of the reason why he hadn’t seen Shou for what felt like...forever. 

Suddenly, all the pieces seemed to be clicked together on their own. Hiroto recalled, with a start, of what he had observed, the interaction between Shou and Saga, how he had suspected there was something more than friendship going on between them—he had even mentioned his suspicion to Tora at the jewellery shop once! Did it mean those two were having trouble? Perhaps his conjuction was correct, perhaps Shou didn’t react well to the news of Saga’s engagement to Tora. 

Hiroto had always felt there was something between Shou and Saga, though this ‘thing’ might be a bit one-sided, and he was there when Shou rushed into the school canteen and punched Tora on the face, right after Saga revealed he was pregnant with Tora’s child.

Hiroto sighed to himself, remembering this whole drama concerning Saga and Shou was yet another thing Tora did not mention to him. So, he had no idea what was really going on amongst his best friend, his newlywed husband and Shou.

There wasn’t much reason else to drive a boy so mad to a point of punching someone else, unless the two parties in question happened to be love rivals. 

Did Shou confess to Saga? How did the latter react to it if Shou really did confess? Did Tora know about Shou’s feeling?

Had Shou and Tora been fighting for Saga’s affection?

The short blond thought he knew in which direction this love triangle had likely been gone to, since Saga obviously had made up his own mind and married Tora. 

Was Shou still feeling bitter about it?

And now at his best friend’s wedding day, the other end of the love triangle had just showed up before the doorstep......

Hiroto realised that thing was getting tricky here, and things _could_ become messy if Shou ever decided to do something...dramatical.

It wouldn’t do.

Being a good and loyal friend that he was, Hiroto decided he must take actions. Quickly, he walked downstairs, sailing through one roomful of guests after another and finally made his way to the front door. Off he went, he didn’t even allow himself to stop before he was out of the front gate.

Once outside, Hiroto didn’t know whether he should feel relieved or alarmed when he saw Shou still standing there across the street, still looking up at the Amano’s mansion, listening to the cheerful noises from within the house, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, so content with his own thoughts to a point that Shou didn’t seem to realise Hiroto’s presence at all. Maybe the taller teen really did want to go into the party? If he did, then how would Saga react? 

It probably would not turn out to be such a happy reunion when Saga met his best friend in this kind of circumstance.

Hiroto didn’t mean to be a busybody, but for Tora’s sake, and even Saga’s, he would need to find out what Shou had in mind. Therefore, he began to walk towards the other boy, even being mindful to keep his pace slow and casual as he approached Shou.

“Hiya!” When he was close enough to get Shou’s attention, Hiroto greeted the taller boy with a forced cheerfulness.

At once, Shou tensed and quickly shifted his gaze downward. His eyes instantly met Hiroto’s, almost at the same instant, he recognised Hiroto. 

“Oh, you.” But instead of greeting Hiroto back, Shou’s dry reply made it obvious that he wasn’t pleased to see the shorter boy.

Though he didn’t expect Shou to greet him warmly and joyously—for they were not close friends in the first place, still Shou’s reply made Hiroto pout. “What does ‘Oh, you’ mean?”

Even when he asked, Hiroto had already known what Shou was thinking. The brown-haired teen clearly was in no mood to chat with him. Hiroto couldn’t say he blamed him.

“Nothing...” Eventually, Shou whispered in a very half-hearted manner, he looked rather embarrassed. 

After an awkward silence fell between them, Shou was gazing at the shorter boy expectedly, as if waiting for the latter to say something. But the truth was, Hiroto didn’t quite know what to say next.

Although he had some faint ideas concerning why Shou would show up before the Amano’s household, still he could bring up none of his own conjunction in front of Shou. Not only it would be utterly strange and awkward, it would also made him look like a busybody.

“Are you coming in?” Still unable to muster up any meaningful thing to say, Hiroto asked experimentally.

This time, Shou shook his head without hesitation, letting the shorter boy know he wasn’t about to go anywhere near the wedding. At this point, Hiroto’s suspicion was almost confirmed. 

There were only a few reasons for Shou not to join his best friend’s wedding. The most obvious of those reasons being: he wasn’t happy with this marriage; therefore, was in no mood to join the celebration, which meant Shou really did have feelings for Saga. Why else would he refuse to join in his best friend’s wedding?

Then, the blond teen saw Shou sigh to himself. The next thing Hiroto knew, Shou was turning away, wheeling his bicycle alongside himself.

“Wait!” Hiroto shouted after the taller student.

Puzzled, Shou stopped and looked back to face the other boy.

Hiroto didn’t know what had possessed him into shouting for Shou to stop, but there was no stopping himself now. “Are you leaving?”

“What else can I do?” Shou asked flatly. He tried to make himself sound casual, but his blank expression and the slight tremble of his shoulders told Hiroto how upset the taller boy was. 

Sympathy for Shou swell up from his heart, but Hiroto also knew he should be careful not to show it, for it would only hurt Shou more. “I can walk with you if you want, you know.”

“You’re not going back in?” Shou asked whilst shifting his gaze between Hiroto and the Amano’s mansion repeatedly.

“What for? It will soon be over,” Hiroto looked back to the Amano household for a moment before turning to answer Shou with a shrug.

However, he immediately regretted what he had just said when he noticed something seemed to be hardened within the taller boy’s eyes.

Stupid! Why must he speak without thinking first? Why must he remind Shou that Saga and Tora’s wedding was almost over, that the marriage was a done deal? Unsurprisingly, it would upset the brown-haired teen!

“Huh...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” Shou interrupted him, “I’m not upset.”

But the shorter boy knew all too well Shou was lying about the not being upset part. Pity seeped slowly into Hiroto’s heart. 

“Let’s get out of here, okay?”

Shou nodded.

Just half an hour ago, Hiroto would never imagine himself leaving his best friend’s wedding midway, but now things were different, and he did feel offering the upset Shou some company was in fact more important. 

***

The wedding party last till late at night. In fact, the last group of guests—laughing and shaking hands with members of Amano family whilst making their ways out—only made their departure shortly before 11:00PM. Though originally the wedding party should have ended hours ago, but things had gone a bit out of hands. Everyone was having so much fun and enjoying the party so much. No one seemed to want the good time to end. So, when Miyavi stormed the party with a group of dancers and musicians to celebrate the union of his two friends, there was no stopping the party to take on its full swing. Unsurprisingly, the celebration also involved a lot of alcohol—many of the guests had taken it upon themselves to pour alcohol into their own and other people’s throats until they became fully drunk or at least half-drunk. Even the newlywed couple would not have been spared if they weren’t still underage.

Finally, the last group of guests were properly walked off and out of the door. Every member of Amano family was more or less exhausted. It had been a cheerful yet demanding day; but thankfully, it was finally over.

The main hall was now empty, Saga seated himself on a sofa next to the wall and heaved a sigh. He felt he was ready to just sit here and let slumberness claim him, for even the thought of making the way upstairs and going back to his room now felt like a task to him. Closing his eyes, the blond recalled the events of the day. Much to his surprise, he found himself having a good time. Plus, everyone was so happy, for that Saga was grateful. But right now, it would be nice to just lie down and shut his eyes. Supposedly, he should go upstairs and start changing and removing the makeup he wore, still he convinced himself all these could wait.

Just when he was about to fall asleep, the blond felt a weight being added to the sofa he was sitting on. Saga opened his eyes, and wasn’t surprised to see Tora had joined him. 

After a long day, dark circles had appeared beneath Tora’s eyes. Still, the older boy looked like he was more awake than Saga did. 

Though he was surprised to find himself being gently pulled closer to the raven head, naturally Saga’s head also came to rest on his husband’s shoulder. For a brief moment, Saga had thought of asking what Tora was doing; but he instead felt it actually was nice to get a bit cozy with Tora for a moment, and he couldn’t quite muster enough energy to do so.

For a while, neither of them said anything, until Tora shook the blond softly, whispering, “Don’t fall asleep here.”

“Huhh...?” Still not willing to open his eyes, Saga murmured lazily. 

“We will better go upstairs,” the older boy replied, placing a light peck on Saga’s forehead.

In any other time, Saga would be taken aback and confused by Tora’s unexpected tenderness; but this time, the blond teen was far beyond analysing Tora’s every move. This time, he only nodded in response.

The blond didn’t know just how tired he was before he tried to get to his feet. So, it also felt quite welcoming to have Tora slipped his hand to his and entwined his fingers with his own whilst he was guided by the older boy to the staircase and made their way up. 

They were about to reach the last few steps when Mrs. Amano appeared at the top of the stairs, smiling down at them. Nao stood beside her.

“There you are.” Mr. Amano’s smile was growing even brighter when her dark-haired son and his nephew—now so in law—came to a stop before her. “Ready to check your new room?”

“What new room?” Came the slightly disturbed reply from both boys.

The older woman calmly replied, “You two should go to your new bedroom, of course! You don’t remember?”

“Yes. We have prepared it for both of you,” added Nao, smiling widely.

Saga gasped in alarm. His aunt’s unexpected announcement was enough to shock him into full wakefulness instantly. 

Next to him, Tora was equally taken aback. Once again, they were caught off guard. Once again, neither of them had been thinking about _the details_. At the back of their heads, they understood it was pretty much _expected_ from them due to the fact that...well, they were wedded. 

So they were caught off guard, both of them knew they were not prepared for that part of their ‘marital life’, but neither of them dared to make any outburst. Otherwise, Mrs. Amano might notice something fishy was going on here.

Plus, had there ever been any discussion about their sleeping arrangement as a married couple? Saga admitted he couldn’t even remember.

“Aunt...I think it isn’t necessary. I mean we are...we are still... _too young_...” Saga could only protest weakly, his fingers twisted together out of nervousness. The blond could barely believe he was standing before his dear aunt—who was nothing less than a mother figure for him—and discussing about such issues: his rooming with Tora as a married couple.

“What silly thing is _that_ for you to say?” Upon hearing Saga’s hesitated words, Mrs. Amano looked almost amused. “You are now married, so of course you two should share a room! Like other couples do!”

Beside her, Nao chuckled lightly. He noticed the hint of redness on Saga’s cheeks.

If either Saga and Tora had thought of saying something more, no word could come out after Mrs. Amano finished. Now, there was no way out.

Although there were plenty of reasons why the two of them rooming together was a bad idea. Like say, they were still too young for that, they were under Tora’s own parents and his uncle and aunt’s roof so it wasn’t proper for them to start living like a married couple. 

Not to mention the _real_ reason which he couldn’t possibly confess to his aunt:

Looked how easily they forgot from their family members’ viewpoint, their marriage was not a façade. For everyone else, their wedding and their marriage were very much _real_ , which also meant everyone would expect them to act like a real married couple.

Which also meant, it would be expected for them to, huh, share the same bedroom and sleep on the same bed.

He couldn’t say he was _entirely_ unaware of what was expected from them. Still, Saga had thought due to their young age, his uncle and aunt would let them room separately, just like before. After all, wouldn’t it be more normal for the parents to always view their children as _children_ , not young adults or adults who were mature enough to have a sex life nor a marital life? Wouldn’t it be a bit more common for the parents not to okay their children living their marital life under their own roof? But now, it seemed like he had guessed wrongly. Seemingly, his uncle and aunt were more open-minded than he had ever expected.

The blond teen was about to say something, but his voice died down at his throat when he felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. Saga turned back to see Tora leaning closer to him, whispering to his ear. 

“I guess it would be better for us to get along with my parents for now.”

“But—” Saga could hardly believe what he was hearing. He thought Tora would be against such an idea—even more so than he did.

“It’s late,” the raven head stated softly, “It had been a very long day. Everyone is tired, especially you.”

The blond blinked, tiredness was instantly making itself known once again as soon as Tora mentioned it. He could feel how weary he truly was. How heavy his eyelids seemed to be, how difficult it really was just to keep them open. 

Tora was right, he wasn’t up to an argument with his aunt, and he had no desire to displease her now. After all, it had been a long day for all of them.

Therefore, Saga looked back at his aunt, and nodded. Nao seemed pleased too. Though he couldn’t see his own face, still the blond knew he was blushing at that moment.

Mrs. Amano turned sideway to face her first son, “Nao dear, would you mind showing our little boys to their room?”

As it turned out, Tora’s older brother was more than willing to oblige. After that, there wasn’t much they could do but for the teens to follow Nao.

***

Nao waited until both of them stood at the centre of the room, before he started explaining, “As Mother and I have discussed, we thought that both of you need a new room. Your belongings are still in your respective rooms, just in case you don't feel comfortable enough here. We also agreed to let you guys whether to stay in this new room or not.”

Saga was fidgeting with his fingers. Somehow, Tora thought that the blond only half-listened to Nao's explanation. His back was facing him and his brother; he looked like he was examining the room. Tora must say that their maids did a great job in re-decorating the guest room. Previously, it looked plain and simple, but now it had turned into a cozy room to sleep in. The queen-sized bed had been placed at the centre; its headboard pressing against the wall that had a pair of large french windows right above it.

Tora was about to say something to his brother, before the said man interrupted him, “It's late. I guess....good night?”

Nao stepped back and was ready to close the door again, when he stopped midway and added, “Oh, and Tora....I put _it_ in the second drawer. Just in case.”

The dark-haired groom raised an eyebrow, confused about what his brother might indicate, when he then saw Nao wink at him. Tora's eyes widened and his mouth gaped open to let out a response, but Nao had already closed the door.

That was why the two of them ending up in the same bedroom, without nothing but awkward silence and each other as their company.

“Huh...I will better take a shower first...” At the end, Saga murmured under his breath.

“Go ahead.” Sitting down on the stool next to a wall,Tora repeated flatly.

It didn’t take long for Saga to disappeared behind the bathroom door with towel and fresh clothes in hands, leaving Tora with his own thoughts.

The raven head was worn as well, but his tiredness could not stop his thoughts from wandering. What would happen next? Surely when Saga finished showering, it would be his turn. Then what should he do after that? Well, he should be going to bed...only that Saga would also be there as well, sharing a bed with him...

It was when Tora knew he must stop thinking about it. Covering his eyes with one of his palms, Tora wondered how things would turn out from this point onward. But one thing he could be certain of: things were going to be harder than he had imagined.

Short afterward, Saga stepped out of the bathroom, he was now wearing a loose t-shirt and a pajama pants, his makeup removed and his hair combed, he actually looked a bit more refreshed than before.

“Your turn now.” The blond stated the obvious, his tone made it clear that this remark was an attempt to fill the awkward silence.

Tora could only nod, throwing his own clothes and towel over his shoulder, the older boy quietly made his way to the bathroom and closed to door behind him.

Once he was alone, with the door safely locked behind him, Tora heavy a small sigh. 

***

After finishing his shower, Tora returned to his shared bedroom with Saga, instantly the raven head realised Saga had already seated himself on the bed, claiming one side of it as his own. The blond looked up at his cousin, hesitating whether to utter some words or not. He lowered his head a bit when Tora took a few steps forward towards him, only to claim the other side of the bed. 

Saga felt Tora lift his legs onto the mattress and lay himself flat on it, which he imitated not long after. He was about to turn the lamp off when Tora did it first.

“I know you can’t sleep when the lamp is on,” muttered the older boy, slipping inside the blanket.

Despite his tiredness, Saga blushed at Tora’s words and merely hummed in response. Tora made a slight move and Saga could faintly feel that his husband was about to turn on his side to face him, so he waited in silence.

“......Good night,” was all he got from the dark-haired teen, nonetheless.

Saga whispered back sleepily, “Good night, Tora.” 

They fell asleep facing away from each other.

to be continued...

We admit we had forgotten about Shou entirely...but now we’re trying to put him back into the story in the upcoming chapters.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shou stared at the shorter boy with puzzlement in his eyes, as though he couldn’t really recall why Hiroto was there. For a moment, Hiroto almost thought the taller boy was about to turn away and just left him there, but instead Shou asked him a question, “Are you hungry?”

** Chapter 31 **

 

Walking down the crowded street, Hiroto found it difficult to catch up with Shou’s pace, as the other teenager kept walking forward without a pause and without once looking back; but the shorter boy couldn’t bring himself to call out to Shou and ask him to slow down.

Hiroto had already lost trace of time as he did his best to follow Shou from outside of Amano’s household all the way back to town. For the whole time, Shou just wandered from one street to the next with seemingly no destination in mind. For a few times, Hiroto did feel like asking the taller boy where he was going, but he couldn’t work up the courage to do so.

Hiroto remembered there would have been dinner waiting for him at the wedding party, but instead of enjoying it with the other guests, he ended up walking through town with a boy whom he could barely call his friend.

They had never been close, that was for sure. If they were friends, perhaps it would have been easy for Hiroto to open a conversation with Shou and properly keep the latter’s company. But to him, Shou was like an _unknown territory_ , which made it difficult for the blond-haired teen to predict what kind of company Shou would have wanted when he was upset. What would Shou want his company to say to him when he was down? Would he want comfort? Or would he prefer his company to offer nothing but quiet understanding and companion and nothing else? Hiroto imagined Shou’s close friends, like Saga, would know all about it. But this kind of knowledge was entirely out of his reach.

After walking for so long, the blond teen now had beads of sweat slipping down his temper, his suit jacket had long been slipped off and his tie had also been loosed long ago to keep himself cool. Plus he was getting hungry as well. It would be good if they could just stop and made a turn to rest and grip some refreshment...

As if hearing his thought, Shou turned his head back to face Hiroto, the taller boy then waited in the middle of the crowded street until the shorter boy finally caught up.

Shou stared at the shorter boy with puzzlement in his eyes, as though he couldn’t really recall why Hiroto was there. For a moment, Hiroto almost thought the taller boy was about to turn away and just left him there, but instead Shou asked him a question, “Are you hungry?”

Of all topics, Hiroto had never expected Shou to come up with that, still the boy nodded positively after a brief pause.

No more than five minutes later, Hiroto found himself in a dessert shop with Shou sitting across the table. Both of them had a bowl of ice shavings placed in front of themselves. Both were having spoonful after spoonful of tasty ice shavings lacing with sweet honey sauce. To make things better, Shou even ordered dessert made of sticky rice and sweet bean, which Hiroto swallowed down one by one gratefully.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Shou commented on the ice shaving absent-mindedly. 

“Yes, it’s good,” Hiroto replied, his voice thickened with the half melting ice shavings filling his mouth.

Shou nodded but didn’t say anything. After that, there was another long stretch of silence. The two went back to finish off their share of dessert quietly. Though Shou did notice for a few times, Hiroto was stealing glances at him from across the table, as if he was trying to read his expression. The shorter boy almost looked like he had something in his mind, but he still had yet to worked up the determination to spill the beans.

In turn, Shou stole a glance at Hiroto when the latter wasn’t looking. The brown-haired teen was vaguely curious of what Hiroto was up to, but he was in no hurry, so instead of starting a conversation, Shou decided to wait for Hiroto to make the first move.

Eventually Hiroto did speak, though to Shou, what he had said seemed to come entirely out of nowhere.

Pushing his empty bowl aside, Hiroto whispered in a low voice. “You know...I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Shou asked blankly, caught by surprise.

“...For reporting you to the teacher...” Hiroto revealed reluctantly, the muscles of his shoulders tensing obviously even under the fabric of his shirt. 

“What? So it was *you*?” Shou exclaimed, finally understanding what Hiroto was referring to. The shorter boy was talking about the suspension he got from the teacher, he was being suspended because someone had reported him for punching another student, namely Tora, in the cafeteria.

Hiroto nodded, unable to meet Shou’s eyes, “I was angry that you punched my friend...”

Shou was furious by now, still he wanted to be absolutely clear about a certain detail. So the brown head took a deep breath, and then exhaled as slowly as he could, taking time cooling himself down enough before he could ask Hiroto his next question instead of hissing it out, “Did Amano ask you to do that?” 

“No he didn’t!” Hiroto gasped in shock, he hadn’t expected Shou would believe Tora had his hand on the matter. “Though I told him he _should_ report you, period. But Tora refused!” 

Running a hand through his hair nervously, Shou heaved a deep sigh. All along he had thought he knew who had reported him. He always thought it was Tora who had done him in. In his mind, he always saw Tora playing victim in front of the teachers, placing all the blame on Shou. But now everything changed with Hiroto’s confession. He had misjudged Tora for a backstabbing bastard. Now, he would have to give the raven head more of a benefit of doubt.

Now he was also faced by Hiroto, who claimed to be the very person who was responsible for his punishment.

After a pause, Shou spat through clenching teeth, “He deserves it.” 

“Okay, I kinda know _that_...now.” The shorter boy bit his lower lip, choosing his words carefully to try expressing himself without directly exposing the fact that he knew about the messy business amongst Saga, Tora and Shou himself. 

If Shou caught the meaning behind his words, he didn’t show it. Perhaps the realisation had not yet sunk in.

Before seeing Shou again this afternoon, Hiroto had been rather righteous about reporting the brown head to the school authority. However, after seeing how upset Shou was, how quiet he had been for the whole time, making the blond teen feel kind of guilty, and now his guilty consciousness was urging him to make peace with the taller boy.

Hiroto repeated, moistening his lips, “I’m sorry.”

“Sometime ‘sorry’ doesn’t mean everything, you know!” Shou replied, his voice flat with no hint of forgiveness.

“I know that too,” Hiroto answered lamely. With his head bent, the small figured student drew his arms closer to cross in front of his torso as if it could make him look even smaller, “But what had been done, was done.”

Shou collapsed back to his chair with a heavy sigh. With both his hands rested upon his side of the table, he looked at Hiroto as though he was not very certain what to do with him.

“Would you forgive me?”

Shou shot the shorter boy an unhappy look, “I don’t know.”

“I’ll make it up to you, in someway...” Hiroto lowed his glance with guilt, “So please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t,” Shou replied honestly, he sounded tired now, “I’m just...still upset about what you had done.”

Hiroto nodded quietly, knowing it would be greedy to ask Shou to forgive him immediately. At least, the taller boy didn’t yell at him; he didn’t snap or flatly refuse to forgive him. Then, he could hope that one day in the future, the taller boy would let the unhappiness go.

***

Saga opened his eyes slowly as he woke up, blinking as his eyes became focused again. He was lying on his back with his head rested on a soft pillow, a warm ray of sunlight was only inches from reaching his face. Judging from how brightly the sun was shining outside of the window, it was late morning, perhaps near midday. 

Groaning softly, he shifted to his side in an attempt to avoid the slowly approaching sunlight, but as he turned, he became aware something blocking his way. For a second, he felt strange when he found himself bumping into another warm, sleeping body. It took him a few more seconds to recall last night he hadn’t gone to bed alone, Tora was also there, sharing the same bed. 

The realisation shook him awake like nothing else could. Saga’s eyes snapped wide open and instantly took in what was in front of him: Tora lying on his side, his eyes closed, sounding asleep with a small frown between his fine eyebrows. His face so, so close to Saga’s.

The blond felt his cheeks heating up as he stared at the sleeping Tora. Saga was slowly regaining his wakefulness as more details fell into place. Before him, the older boy was still frowning even so slightly, as though something was bothering him even in his sleep. An emotion twisted in Saga’s heart, an impossible, absurd thought flashed through his mind, making him long to lean down a kiss that frown away—

Startled by his own unreasonable longing, for a moment Saga was frozen in his place, his reaction was by turn slowed considerably. Therefore, he wasn’t able to shift away when Tora stirred in his sleep, and then the frown between his brows deepened. Within the next second, Tora opened his eyes, and those eyes met Saga’s instantly. 

Two pairs of eyes locked together with surprise and confusion written equally within them. They were now looking at each other. For an instant, neither of them were able to break away from this surreal moment. For an instant everything felt fine, safe, perfectly comfortable, like they were a pair of little birds nesting within a small cozy cocoon of their own. A sensation, which felt almost like joy swollen in their hearts. For a moment, they were both lost in wonder. Bewilderment. 

They both felt strange locking in a moment like this together. It was as though they were now looking at each other in different light for the first time, and neither of them knew what to do. During the past months, many of the familiar old rules and understanding between them had crumbled down. Now, what was left here was a whole new unknown region. 

In reality, this trancelike moment only last for a few heartbeats. Although to the two boys who accidentally got themselves caught up in it, it felt like half an eternity. Still, eventually Saga blinked for a few times, snapping himself out of this dreamlike state. His sudden movement seemed to success in snapping Tora out of his trance as well. 

“Morning,” A greeting stumbled off Saga’s mouth rather randomly as the younger boy dragged himself away from Tora. His morning greeting sounded half-hearted, as though it was uttered as an attempt to fill the quiet space between them than a proper greeting. Now half sitting up on the bed, supporting himself with his elbows, Saga was not able to meet his husband’s eyes again. 

“...Good morning,” The raven head returned the greeting with the effort to cover up his own awkwardness, his reply nothing above a whimper with sleepiness still thick in his voice.

What had just happened between them? Part of Saga wished he had the answer, but the other part of him had not yet ready to find out. Once again the confusion was throwing him off balance.

“I should go changing first,” Tora murmured as he moved away.

Without a word, Saga nodded as an acknowledgement. Then without saying another word, Tora drew the comforter back and moved off the bed.

***

The members of the Amano household managed to gather and had breakfast in the late morning because like Tora and Saga did, everyone had more or less over slept. During breakfast time, the other family members raised a few remarks and questions, which was directed at Tora and Saga’s state as a newlywed couple (unavoidably, there were also a few jokes provided by Nao), but aside from this, everything had gone on just the same as before. But once after breakfast was finished, Saga found himself with time in his hands and nothing to do. Although no one had expected him to be active, it still didn’t feel right to just sit around and do nothing.

Saga struggled to recall what he was supposed to do today. Their final exams had come and gone, there would be no school for today. Then, what should he do? Staying home…? Saga shrugged at the thought, because already it sounded like something that a stay-at-home housewife would do. 

The thought made Saga frown. He didn’t particularly want to become a homemaker, considered the fact he and Tora weren’t a real couple. So what was the point? Aside from the concern about all his family members and their friends and relatives expected them to behave like a couple...still, it was for the sake of keeping the façade intact. When they were alone, there wasn’t any necessary for them to act lovey dovey around each other, right?

No, there was a point actually. He quickly corrected himself. Something in their relationship had changed and they had became closer. Unlike before, now Saga didn’t mind treating Tora with care and trusting him more. Maybe they could be...friendly with one another?

Tora had been...very nice to him recently, taking care of him and being attentive, just like what he had done in the wedding. Sometimes, it even felt a bit more than friendly. Therefore, it felt wrong to refer their interaction with such a term as ‘friendly’.

After breakfast, Saga was left staring hard at the backyard outside of the window, still struggling to think of something to do to pass the day. Previously, he had offered to help his Aunt doing some chores, but strangely enough instead of making him useful, the older woman only shook her head, telling him just to relax for the day before she excused herself with a vague explanation of having to go out later. Saga was left behind, still with no purpose in mind and no way to make himself useful. Somehow, he also had a feeling that there was something his Aunt was not telling him. 

He felt very much like searching for his Aunt and tried to ask her what the matter was, but the older woman was nowhere in sight. Perhaps she was busy preparing for her planned outing?

With nothing to hold his attention, Saga figured perhaps he should find himself some company. Still, Nao had already gone to work, and his aunt was also going out. The blond thought to himself, he would better go and find out what his uncle was doing, just in case the older man might want some company. 

Making up his mind, Saga slowly made his way upstairs, though he was reminded once again of how he needed to take longer time to climb up the stairs these day, after the incident of his sudden collapse, he had to be careful.

After safely arrived to the second floor, the blond walked down the corridor and was turning a corner when he suddenly found himself face to face with Tora, who had just walked out of his— _their_ bedroom. Tora managed to back away before he bumped into his younger cousin. 

Only after that, the blond teen could take a better look at his husband. Much to Saga’s surprise, Tora had changed out of his casual wear, now he looked he was ready for an outing.

“Where are you going?” Saga murmured, blinking in puzzlement, “Is Aunt also going out as well?”

“It’s just...” Tora gave him a shrug, averting his eyes as if he was embarrassed, “We just had to go to school this noon.”

School? Saga was even more puzzled than before. With the exams coming to an end, there was no more regular school day for the students, though there were still practice for the sport teams and other activities. 

“But why are you going to school today? Is Aunt also going with you, too?” Saga pressed the issue a bit, and he didn’t miss out the ‘we’ in Tora’s reply. Was there something going on which his Aunt and Tora weren’t telling him?

Usually, there were only a few reasons for parents being invited to go to school with their children: to meet the teachers when something happened, something _bad_ or _mischievous_.

“We have a meeting with my headteacher today,“ Tora replied reluctantly, and didn’t say anything further. 

Almost instinctually, The blond wanted to press on the matter, but he recalled how badly Tora had reacted when he was cornered. This unpleasant memory made him become hesitated from asking further question. Though he actually had to retain himself from pressuring Tora, this time he didn’t want to act like a busybody and ruined whatever peace which had been formed between them.

Whilst Saga was still struggling to figure out what to say next, both boys heard the sound of a door opening and closing from somewhere behind them. They both turned their heads to see Mrs. Amano stepping out of the master bedroom. She was formally dressed and ready to go out, her eyes fixed on Tora first, her lips moved as if she was about to say something to him. But in the next second, she noticed Saga’s presence and then what she was going to say got swallowed back down.

“Tora, are you ready?” Instead Mrs. Amano asked softly. 

Now it had become clear to Saga that his aunt was going together with Tora. 

Tora nodded briefly in response, his lips drawn together in a thin, nervous line. Making Saga know the raven head wasn’t going to say anything.

“Are you two going together?” Saga was forced to repeat the same question he had asked Tora.

For a second, his Aunt looked hesitated, but then she started to explain, “We have to go to school to attend to...some business. It wouldn’t take long.” 

Saga watched his Aunt thoughtfully before nodding eventually. Though at the back of his mind, he sensed that there was more into the matter neither his aunt and Tora were telling him the full story.

Mrs. Amano then gave his son a look, motioned for him to follow, this time Tora followed her command without a word. 

Saga watched both of them walking out of his sight, a voice from within him told him he was being overworry, but there was this other tiny voice too, telling him there was more into his aunt and Tora’s unexplained appointment with Tora’s headteacher.

The next thing he knew, his feet took him towards the front door as if they were doing this without his own command; the previous thought about accompanying his uncle forgotten for the time being. Saga knew he was making his way to the front door in order to see Tora off. It was not even a conscious decision made by his rational mind, it was something more impulsive, like he was acting out on what felt right, regardless of how offkey and out of place his action was. _It was a right thing to do_ , Saga told himself. Wasn’t it what a married person would do when his or her spouse leave home in the morning? For the time being, this reason alone seemed to be enough to explain why he was acting out of impulse.

The blond found Tora at the doorstep, just when the latter finished lacing his shoes and stood up. Saga noticed his aunt was nowhere in sight. Probably, she had gone off to drive her car around to the front door. Anyway, Tora took a step forward, his hand reaching for the doorknob, all ready to leave.

Saga knew he should call out to his husband before he went out of the door, but for reason unbeknownst to himself, when he was actually there, the blond found himself unable to say anything. So he could only awkwardly stand there like a fool, suddenly unsure of what he should say and act.

At first the older boy seemed to be oblivious of Saga’s presence, but the raven head stirred and then he was looking backward, as if he had somehow sensed the blond’s nearness.

“ _Jaa, itekimasu,_ ” muttered the taller boy, although Saga seemed oblivious to what he was saying.

It was a moment later, when Tora had almost reached the gate, that the blonde called out to him. The raven head turned around and waited for him to speak.

“... _Iterasshai_.”

Smiling, Tora gave Saga a nod and a thumb up. Just when Saga thought the older boy would turn away, Tora did something unexpected. He took a step towards Saga, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before leaving. Then Tora took off, leaving Saga at the doorstep, blushing like mad. 

The blond thought dully to himself. _This, had gone way beyond the territory of friendliness._

 

to be continued.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then, the teacher announced that due to his irresponsible, rule-breaking behaviours, Tora would be assigned to perform extra school duties during the upcoming summer holiday, he must also write a detailed report to the school’s authority, and he would also be removed from his position as the team’s captain.

** Chapter 32 **

 

A dark cloud seemed to be hovering over Tora’s head when he left the meeting room with his mother. The teen stared blankly at his mother’s back as he followed her down the school’s hallway. The brunette student knew his mother was just as upset as he was, but the older woman was far better at masking her frustration and disappointment than her son was capable of.

He was in a bad mood, though he also knew he had no one else to blame this time. 

This morning, he and his mother both went back to school in order to meet his headteacher and the coach of the school’s football team. The request had been sent to Mrs. Amano a few days ago, but Tora and his mother had agreed to keep quiet about it for the time being, so the other family members would not be disturbed by this sudden request. 

Being summoned to school like this was not a casual matter; therefore, Tora had already feared for the worst. It wasn’t long before Tora’s worry became true.

When they arrived at the room for the meeting, the headteacher was already there, and he wasn’t alone. Much to Tora’s surprise, the coach of his team was also there, sitting side by side with the headteacher, waiting for them. Soon, both Tora and Mrs. Amano were informed that the teachers had lately been made aware of Tora’s unusual absence during school team’s practice, and they also had eyewitness’ report about the raven head _working on part time job after school_ , without permission. 

The mention about Tora’s skipping team’s practice was enough of a surprise to Mrs. Amano, but the news about him having a secret part time job against school’s rules came as a total shock to her. The older woman gazed at her son in bewilderment and confusion, obviously hoping for some explanation from the raven haired teen, but all she got from Tora was silence. The teen lowered his head, stubbornly remained quiet.

Mrs. Amano wasn’t the only one who awaited some explanation, Tora’s headteacher and his coach had also been waiting for an answer. When none was provided, the two adults started to take turn to scold the raven head, calling him ‘irresponsible’, ‘immature’ and ‘disappointing’. Still, Tora could only clench his teeth and bear it, saying nothing for his own defense. He could not tell his headteacher and the coach the true reason of him taking the part time job. 

When the raven haired student continued to refuse explaining himself, the headteacher eventually sighed and nodded to the coach. Now, he had no other choice but to issue punishment to Tora, for breaking school’s rule and skipping. 

Then, the teacher announced that due to his irresponsible, rule-breaking behaviours, Tora would be assigned to perform extra school duties during the upcoming summer holiday, he must also write a detailed report to the school’s authority, and he would also be removed from his position as the team’s captain.

Tora’s eyes widened in shock. No, he could take extra school duties, he could take writing reports, but he couldn’t bear to think about being removed from his position. It meant a lot to him.

Tora’s mother had been listening to the teachers’ words. Now, after her son’s punishment was issued, she once again urged Tora to explain himself, to try giving meaningful explanation to the teachers so they might reconsider their decision, but once more Tora kept quiet, for he knew there was nothing he could say to defend himself. Once again, the teen shook his head, even though his hands were balling into fists and those hands were clearly shaking. He was angry, but mostly he was angry with himself for disappointing his teachers and his mother like this. He had made his choice, and accordingly his teachers had also passed down the punishment, therefore the raven head had no other choice but to accept it. 

Once the situation was made known to both parties, the meeting finally came to an end, and the two members of the Amano family were free to leave. After exiting from the meeting room, there was silence between mother and son. Mrs. Amano was leading the way with Tora tagging behind. The raven head could tell his mother had questions in her mind, she wanted to ask him what was the true reason of him breaking school’s rules like this; and this time, Tora was caught between telling her the truth or keeping his silence. Tora had no heart to displease his mother but on the other hand, he found it difficult to come clean with anyone—even when it was his own mother. 

Unbeknownst to Tora, Mrs. Amano _did_ have interrogating her son for information about his true reason of skipping and breaking school’s rules in her mind, but she planned to do this after they left school. Plus luckily for Tora, Mrs. Amano’s scheming was interrupted when she caught sight of another student coming their way; a student she found quite familiar. 

Mrs. Amano slowed her pace as she studied the passing by student’s face more carefully. Then, she vaguely recalled his name: Shou; she also quickly remembered Shou was a dear friend to her nephew, Saga. Instantly, the realisation brought a smile upon her face.

“Good morning, you’re Shou, am I right? Nice to see you here...” The older woman smiled warmly at the brown-haired boy as she walked towards his direction.

Tora had noticed Shou’s presence almost as quickly as his mother did. But unlike his mother, Tora wasn’t able to greet the brown-haired student so cheerfully. Instead, his face changed as soon as he saw Shou there. His jaw tensed, his eyebrows raised to form a pair of unhappy lines; but it wasn’t like he could avoid Shou in this situation. They were in the hallway, and there was no way they could walk past each other, pretending the other didn’t exist.

Shou was the first one to make the first move, the tall lanky boy nodded politely to Mrs. Amano as he came up to her. Mrs. Amano greeted him back just as casually, although her son still had yet to acknowledge Shou’s presence. With both of his hands shoved inside his black trousers, Tora simply walked past the other student, chin up and without uttering a word. 

Shou admitted to himself that he had difficulty holding back the urge to punch the raven head right in front of his mother. Instead, he halted and called out to Tora.

“Wait a sec!”

Mrs. Amano halted, so did her son, and they both turned to face the brown-haired student. Tora looked straight at Shou to meet his stare. The brown head was a bit embarrassed when he noticed Tora’s mother looked confusedly at him. However, Tora said softly to her, explaining things like Shou was his schoolmate and he’d like to talk to him for a bit. Mrs. Amano nodded in understanding, muttering, “I'll be waiting for you in the car then.”

As soon as the woman left, Tora took a few steps closer to Shou and hissed to the other teen, “You’d better make this quick. I’m not in the best mood to deal with you right now.”

“Look who’s talking,” retorted Shou, “Listen, Amano. I know you don’t want to talk to me, to be honest; nor I you. But there’s only one thing I need to tell you, in person.”

Whatever smartass comeback which Tora had prepared to fire back at the brown-haired student, was put to rest by the seriousness in Shou’s tone.

Tora’s shoulders tensed in anticipation. He had expected the other guy to pick up a fight with him again. But Shou paused before he continued, “So I heard you’re not the one who reported me.“

“Who told you that?” Tora looked bored, even when he threw back a question to Shou.

“It doesn’t matter who told me, but...... _warukatta na_.”

Tora was utterly taken by surprise, “You really mean it?”

“Yes,” Shou murmured under his breath. 

The brunette replied with a shrug, “It’s in the past now. We’re cool, right?”

“I guess we are, for the time being,” Shou admitted, but he soon added, “but if you hurt him, I’ll never forgive you.”

Originally, Shou wanted to threat that _’If you hurt Saga, I’ll chop you into tiniest little pieces’_ , but in reality his warning didn’t come out as closely as he had imagined it.

Tora went speechless. Hadn’t Shou had just said what he thought he was saying?

It should have given him joy to hear Shou _indirectly_ admitting his defense, but surprisingly, Tora didn’t feel any sense of smugness at this moment; but he was feeling sad about it neither, far from it indeed. What he was feeling right now was…….Relief? 

Perhaps. 

“Saga is my best friend, you know,” Shou stated almost shyly. “He chose to be with you, which means I have to respect his decision. And so you’d better prove to me you’re worthy of him.”

Tora knew the brown head would not admit anything more than this. Shou had already made his choice, and Tora would have to make up his own mind quickly.

“How big of an idiot do you think I am?” Tora waved his hands around with an exaggerated movement, “ Of course I will not make this mistake—”

He paused as he fell back to himself. For a moment, the brunette seemed uncertain of his own words, but he quickly recovered and finished his own sentence, “—not again anyway.”

“Do you love him?” Shou couldn’t believe he would be asking Tora this sensitive, _critical_ question, but here he was, the words had already fallen out of his own mouth before he could refrain them.

“It’s none of your business,” unsurprisingly, Tora refused to come up with a direct answer; but his response was more out of awkwardness than arrogance, “But I will try to make up, no matter how long it’d take.”

The two teenagers were still no friends, but hopefully, a truce of a sort could be formed between them after this encounter, at least for the time being.

***

It took Saga a long time to notice he had been going in circles in the sitting room. With no real purpose in mind, with hardly a thought about actually what he was doing, he had been doing that for quite a time already. 

After he governed himself to take of break from this odd ritual of nervous pacing, it took him a good while before he could admit to himself he was worried about the outcome of his Aunt and Tora’s meeting with the school’s authorities. Did Tora get into trouble? Did he or did he not? What kind of trouble might it be? Was he overreacting over nothing? But if he weren’t in trouble, why would Aunt be requested to make the trip with her son as well? What would happen to Tora? What _might_ be happening to him now?

With so many unanswered questions swelling up in his mind, the blond slowly made his way back up to his...no...their bedroom. Although his Aunt said it wouldn’t take long, but as hours passed by, Saga became doubtful of her claim. Still, what actually had taken time so long?

He could only wait now.

Once walking in, Saga’s gaze fell upon the bed, which had already been made during his absence. He glanced around the room for a bit, before finally sat down on the edge of the bed. 

Last night, Saga didn’t have enough energy to study the bedroom his Aunt had prepared for the two of them, but now he had. He actually took time to observe the small details about this bedroom with care. 

He came to notice a few things he had previously failed to take note at. For example, he noticed there was an extra space left next to the queen-sized bed. Saga stared at the empty spot quietly for a moment, and it didn’t take long for him to realise said extra space happened to be large enough to place a baby’s cradle upon it. A detail which neither of them could ever notice on their own. His aunt had been so very thoughtful, taking so much effort to arrange things for them.

It didn’t take long for Saga to have a new discovery.

What he also hadn’t noticed before during the previous night, but was now definitely noticing were the few cardboard boxes sat at the corner of the room. Saga even caught sight of familiar-looking items— _his own belonging_ —showing themselves beneath the half-opened lid. Immediately, the blond teen stood up and walked over to where those boxes laid, and then bent down to open them one by one. 

Taking one look inside those boxes, all of his suspicion was confirmed. Sitting neatly inside those cardboard cutout boxes, were his and Tora’s possessions. Not _all_ of them, though. His Aunt had taken care to pick up their belonging: clothes, school items, laptops, etc; the things which would most likely come in handy in their daily life, then moved them into their new bedroom. She had these all planned and smoothly excised in such a short notice. 

So very thoughtful of her, although the teen would appreciate it more if only she remembered to _ask_ before picking his belonging and moved them here.

But why did Saga feel like it was becoming harder for the two of them to ask to shift back to their old separated rooms?

***

A quarter before two o’clock in the afternoon, Saga heard the faint noise of a vehicle pushing over on their driveway and then stopping before the house. Almost immediately, he knew Aunt and Tora had come back.

Without any hesitation, the blond teen stood up to make his way to the living room, just in time when the front door opened to reveal Mrs. Amano and Tora, who followed his mother through the door with his head lowered as if in defeat. As to his Aunt, she didn’t say anything as she entered, but her expression was obviously tensed, with her lips drew tight into a thin line. 

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the meeting back in school probably didn’t turn out well. Still, Saga found himself reaching the front door in no time. The thought of lowering his pace didn’t even cross his mind, for the suspense and worry was too great to suppress.

Now there he was, standing no more than five feet away from the returning pair, Saga unconsciously cleared his throat and then greeted them, “Welcome home.”

Mrs. Amano blinked and stared at her nephew in puzzlement as though before this second, she hadn’t seen the teen standing right there before her; but she quickly shifted back to her normal self and smiled in response to the greeting.

“Saga! What’re you going to do this afternoon?”

Unprepared, for a moment Saga didn’t know how to respond, he averted his gaze to Tora, hoping he would say something as well. However, the older boy merely stood there, his eyes didn’t even meet Saga’s.

“Huh...Aunt. How’s the meeting?” Saga didn’t plan to come up with this question so soon, but once the words left his mouth, the blond realised it was the thing he had waited for a whole morning to find out.

“Nothing for you to worry about!” Mrs. Amano’s reply came with a laugher. Still, the sound of her laughter sounded a bit forced nonetheless.

“I should go upstairs now,” suddenly Tora murmured under his breath, cutting into the conversations. Then without even waiting for a response from neither his mother nor Saga, Tora slided past them and left.

Mrs. Amano watched her son leaving, but she didn’t say anything nor make common on the boy’s rapid departure. There was no comment or scold from her, but her eyes showed a hint of…...pity? Sadness?

If it were up to Saga, he would have chased after the older boy; though he couldn’t do this, since it would be rude to leave his Aunt here and took off all of a sudden.

Therefore, he spent the next 10 or so minutes to chat with his Aunt. Along the line of their chatting, for a few times Saga tried to shift their direction towards the subject of the meeting in school; but Mrs. Amano took as much effort as his to skillfully avoid leading their conversations towards this territory.

Eventually, Saga could not keep his curiosity any longer, so he tried once again to ask the older woman, “What’s the matter, Aunt?”

Mrs. Amano’s response to his question was a long look directing at him, there was so much uncertainty in her eyes, indicating that she had something in her mind and she would have told him what she knew, but she had decided against sharing her knowledge with him. Saga swore he could almost hear her thoughts: _Don’t tell Saga anything, it would only upset him._

Although he was glad that his Aunt was being protective to him, still it didn’t sit well with him to be cushioned so carefully like he was some vulnerable glass. Sometimes, it was tiring to be treated like this, like he was not any better than a kid, too immature, too ill-prepared to handle anything of importance. Plus, his worry only seemed to grow as it became increasingly clear to him that his Aunt was holding something back. 

In the end, the blond managed to find a polite reason to excuse himself. After that he went upstairs, hoping to find Tora and then talk to him—in case Tora did want to talk. He knew how likely it was for the older boy to keep him in the dark about things which actually mattered, out of pride and habit.

 

to be continued.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora stepped forward to the blonde. For a moment, Saga assumed that the raven head would merely walk past him—anything to escape the unwanted discussion. Nevertheless, Tora halted before him and said, “I’m sorry about that.”

** Chapter 33 **

 

First Saga tried to find Tora in the latter’s old bedroom, thinking the raven head might want to find some privacy there; but no one answered the door when he knocked, Saga then tried the door handle, then carefully slipped the door open just slightly when he found it was unlocked; but Tora’s room was empty. 

Next he tried looking for the older teen in their bedroom, but once again no one was there when he walked into their room. For an instant Saga was puzzled, where could Tora be? 

Closing the bedroom’s door behind him, Saga stepped back to the corridor, had he overlooked something?

So he walked back, looking into one room then another as he went, when he came once again near the staircase, he noticed what he had missed before—a pair of opened large windows hidden by the half translucent curtains, with breeze blowing gently between the layers of soft fabric of said curtains; Saga knew there was a balcony behind those curtains.

Brushing the thin curtains aside, the blond stepped into the small balcony overlooking the front yard. At once he saw Tora’s silhouette, the older boy was leaning against the rail, with his back towards him and he was...smoking?

Subconsciously, Saga frowned at the sight of his older cousin smoking, he had faintly heard about Tora smoking amongst his friends, but the blond teen had never seen him doing this in his parents’ house. Perhaps he had smoked in the house, but he had done it behind everyone else’s back too successful to get caught.

He also knew unlike some regular smokers who needed their frequent smoke breaks like these were their lifeline, Tora only smoked when he tried to act cool or…...when he was stressed. 

“Tora?” Seeing the older one wasn’t going to notice his presence anytime soon, Saga steeled himself and called out to him. 

 

Almost as soon as he uttered the raven head’s name, Saga could see Tora’s shoulders shook and his back straightened. Then within the next second, he wheeled himself around to look back at the shorter boy. Tora’s expression made it clear that he didn’t expect to be caught by Saga in here.

This time he would still use the direct approach instead of dancing around the subject. “What are you doing here?”

Originally Saga had wanted to ask a question regarding the cancer stick in between Tora’s fingers, but he quickly dismissed the idea. He watched as his dark-haired husband crushed the butt of his cigarette onto the flower pot nearby and Saga cringed at the sight. He couldn’t help but think that someone—either one of the maids or even the family members of the Amanos—might eventually find out about the cigarette. However, he could care less about that now, as he was strangely more concerned about the taller teen in front of him.

As awkward as the current situation was, there was still a bright side here: the balcony was small and Saga had already blocked the only exit, therefore Tora had nowhere to run, still the same question had also remained: would Tora be willing to talk to him this time, face to face?

Turning those thoughts in his mind, the blond sighed softly to himself. The last thing he wanted was for the older boy to feel cornered or being forced into talking. Curious and anxious as he was, Saga still knew no one liked to be pressured.

Tora stepped forward to the blonde. For a moment, Saga assumed that the raven head would merely walk past him—anything to escape the unwanted discussion. Nevertheless, Tora halted before him and said, “I’m sorry about that.”

Saga was almost speechless, he truly didn’t see that coming. Only then he did realise that Tora’s apology was about the cigarette. He continued, “I didn’t know you would find me here. Don’t worry, the smoke shouldn’t have come inside.”

The blond merely nodded, he was a bit surprised that Tora would notice small detail like cigarette being harmful to his health. On the other hand, Saga couldn’t help noticing, up close, Tora looked unenergized, drained; his shoulders hanging as though they were weighted down by invisible weight. He only gave the blond teen a nod in return, nothing was mentioned nor explained.

The blond knew he needed to try. “This morning…...I...you and Aunt went to school...so, what had happened in the meeting?”

He knew how incoherent his words sounded, but it certainly was the best he could muster at the moment. 

Tora didn’t answer right away, Saga had expected that. The taller teen approached the railing again and leant back on it, his gaze was downward. Saga held himself back, not wanting to look like a pushy spouse. The blonde waited for him to speak, which Tora eventually did.

“You shouldn’t worry about me. It’s...nothing. Really.”

“Tora, your current state tells me otherwise,” said Saga softly in response.

In the past, Saga knew Tora would usually said something like, _“You know nothing about me.”_ and the blonde had half-expected the raven head to evade his question again.

At first, Tora only waved his hand, as if to say something. Saga still waited patiently. It felt like ages when Tora actually formed a sentence, “...My position in the football team has been taken. I’m no longer the captain.”

Saga’s eyes widened almost immediately.

“How?” he asked. He just couldn’t understand how the school’s authority and the coach could do that to Tora. He also knew how much his position in the school’s football team meant to Tora.

“The coach found out about my part-time job, he also noticed me skipping practices. Apparently, he reported it to the principal.”

“What…?” The blond could not help leaning his upper body forward in shock. Tora couldn’t come off the hook easily if the principal was informed. Plus why would Tora ever skip practices? It didn’t make sense…

Then something else caught up with Saga. “Wait...why were you working part time!? ”

Now Tora looked even more reluctant than before, his lips moved but no sound came out; eventually the taller boy looked away. 

Saga was about to speak again in order to demand an answer, but as he opened his mouth, he found his breath caught in his throat. Out of the blue, a memory flashed briefly in his mind, reminding him of something he had heard from Tora, during their wedding. 

The wheels in his mind were running quickly now, repeating various scenes of his recent conversation with Tora in his mind, then with the sound of a _‘click!’_ He remembered. 

He glanced down at his own hand, catching sight of the silver ring around his ring finger. “You skipped practice in order to go to your part time, to buy me _this ring_.”

Tora closed his eyes and said nothing. 

Knowing the raven head, Saga knew it was a sign that he had guessed correctly, but Tora just didn’t want to acknowledge he was right. Tora had done this for the wedding ring he now wore around his finger. If this pair of rings eventually costed Tora his position in the football team and punishment...then this wedding ring had costed Tora more than he originally would have expected. 

“Why didn’t you tell the coach about your reason of taking the part time? Maybe he---”

“It won’t help.” The taller boy interrupted. 

“But--”

“It’s just the same for them. I had broken the rules, I had forsaken my duty as the captain; so I’m removed. They won’t care about the reason of why I broke the rules.”

Saga didn’t know what to say, Tora’s remark seemed to make sense, plus he couldn’t say the coach’s decision was entirely wrong neither, though he still felt Tora was being punished unfairly, because of him. It was quite clear to him that being removed from his position must be a heavy blow to Tora. 

“That’s upsetting, isn’t it?” After a long pause, the blond murmured helplessly.

“Don’t be upset.” Without any second thought, Tora reached out a hand to stroke the top of the shorter boy’s head, running his fingers through the soft deep blond hair. “I’ll be fine.”

They stood there for a moment, until Saga moved to stand next to his husband, with his elbows resting against the rail, facing the frontyard he spoke again. 

“You know...perhaps I’ll face a very similar situation soon.”

“What?” Tora casted a puzzled gaze at the younger boy, turning his body sideway to look at the blond better.

“I think I’m going to get into trouble with the school’s authority as well.” Saga confessed. Halfway through his speech, the blond tried to make light of his own words by managing a nervous smile at Tora. “So I’m just the same like you do.”

But Saga’s attempt at lighting the mood didn’t work well on the raven head at all.

“What do you mean, getting into trouble with the school?” Instead Tora’s face darkened almost instantly.

Saga blinked, it took him a moment to realize Tora didn’t know a thing about the blond’s own encounter with his headteacher, Mrs. Suzuki. The older boy didn’t know that the school authority had been informed and made aware of Saga’s pregnancy, and now his schooling was being hanged upon a shifting, fragile balance. 

Tora did not know any of these things because Saga had never mentioned them to the raven head, apparently neither did his Aunt. 

Biting his lower lip, Saga was forced to be the one to give Tora the full picture of events. “In the end, the principal might suspend me or just simply ask me to leave school...because of my pregnancy. I still have no idea what they would decide.”

Then Saga told him the meeting he had with his own headteacher before the exam.

“Wait--but you never breathed a word about that meeting for the whole time!” Tora protested. 

“I just...don’t know how to bring it up.” Saga replied dryly. He didn’t expect Tora to react like this.

“But Mother...my parents, they have always known, right?” Tora stated rather matter of factly, and Saga could only nodded.

“So you’re confide in my parents...but not me.” The older boy drew his own conclusion with a bitter tone. 

Saga did not know how to respond, it wasn’t like he could deny it. To be honestly, for most of the time he had overlooked Tora, despite of the revan head’s promise to look out for him. There was always a sense of insecurity kept him from trusting the raven head fully, even when he didn’t mean to be mistrusting on purpose. 

Back then he did not feel he could confide in Tora, but it was the past; after what they had gone through, his feeling changed, but how could he make the other boy understand this? He just didn’t know how, all he could do was to look away.

Tora waited for his reply, when the silence kept stretching between them, the older boy eventually given up. When he spoke again, he simply changed the conversation to another direction.

“You’re in a worse situation than me.” Tora heavied a deep sigh. “They might punish you for something that isn’t even your fault. It’s so unfair!”

“Don’t be so upset. It isn’t so bad--” Saga was not aware of the fact that he was making light of the situation the same like Tora had previously done. 

“Not so bad? You may lose your _education_! Haven’t you always been so keen to get good grades and get into a good university?” 

The mention of his own disturbed plan of future casted a shadow to hover above Saga’s head. Going to a well respected university had always been his dream, but this dream couldn’t possibly come true if his high school education was already at the edge of being shattered. So many things, so much of his plan for future had been disturbed because of his untimely pregnancy, and Tora was just being frank and practical to point out how easily his dream could be laid ruin.

“They’re only doing what they have to, Tora.” Saga could feel his throat tightened when he spoke. “ The school’s authority can’t just let a pregnant student run loose in the campus. Something...in their viewpoint, _something_ just has to be done.”

Saga had already had long conversations with his Aunt after their meeting with Mrs. Suzuki, the headteacher. Aunt had taken care to inform Saga what was to expect from this situation. Furthermore, the blond had also come up with a few guesses on his own. 

Both of them knew the school’s authority had to do something, soon. They were just uncertain of whether they would pass the issue off lightly, or press down harshly upon Saga’s case.The suspense of it was slowly driving Saga crazy. However, there was nothing he could do but to wait for an answer. He didn’t share his worry with the others, not even with his Aunt, neither did he confident in Tora. 

“But it’s still not right.” Tora was still frowning, he was obviously upset---surprisingly, he now looked even more upset than when he revealed to Saga he was being removed from his position as captain. “That makes it sound like you’re the only one to blame!”

“Then would you prefer both of us get kicked out instead of just me?” The sentence left Saga’s mouth with hardly a second thought, almost instantly the younger boy realized his tone was much sharper than he had intended. 

Tora was also taken aback by the blond’s strong words. “I didn’t mean it!”

Now Saga was turning away from the older boy. “I didn’t want _you_ to get kick out neither. It isn’t like we can change things now, reagentless whose fault it is; what’s done, is done.”

Tora paused, not knowing how to response. Saga said things like he...he really did regret what had happened between them, and would rather it had never taken place?

But, who could blame him for regretting? Especially when it was obvious that Saga would be the one to pay the price?

Guilt overwhelmed the raven head at once. “I’m sorry. I should have said that a long time ago, and I mean it, I’m so sorry.”

Tora’s voice was at the edge of breaking when he uttered the last words.

For a moment Saga was speechless, an apology was the last thing he had expected; eventually he slowly shook his head. “No, you're not the only one to blame.”

They stood by the railing facing each other in a long moment of silence. Both of them felt it was weird for them to take turn placing the blame on themselves instead of shoving the blame at the other party. Still, there was an unspoken sense of _relief_ too; like after hearing the apology, both could feel a weight was lifted from their shoulders. 

“So, we both have our share of hardship to face down, right?” At the end, Tora leaned his elbow against the railing and spoke again. ” Then I guess we will have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves too much then.”

“I guess you are right.” Saga gave a small nod, although he he was still worry of the school authority’s response, it was still a relief to share his worry with someone else he was certain that he could trust.

“Look at the bright side, I may not be able to see tomorrow’s sunrise if I didn’t take good care of you, Shou would see to this--”

“You had seen Shou?” Saga burst out before the older boy could finish. The teen could hardly believe he was getting so many surprises from Tora within a single day.

Tora paused and his body went still, he want to slap himself for foolishly bringing Shou up in the conversation, with Saga staring at him expectantly awaiting his reply, he could not back down. But goodness...now things were definitely going to be awkward. 

“I saw him before leaving school.” The raven haired teen replied. He wasn’t quite sure how should he begin to reveal this encounter to Saga, so he could only start from the most basic information. 

“W---What did he say to you then?” Saga asked in a small voice, he was suddenly feeling shy because the mention of Shou also brought back the memory of his best friend’s confession, and the almost-kiss between them. It also puzzled him greatly to hear Shou would see to Tora’s downfall if the latter failed to take care of him?

Stealing glance at his husband, Saga couldn’t help wondering what Tora might think after he hearing about Shou’s confession to him. Tora had reacted quite strangely back then, bursting out with an impulsive _’Do you love him?’_ question and that awkward question after this; even though later on Tora did brush off his own questions, telling Saga he didn’t have to explain himself to him. However, Saga still felt strangely guilty after he saw the disappointed look on Tora’s face after he answered those two weird questions, as though somehow he had kept Tora hanging.

It also puzzled him to hear apparently Shou had swore he would see to Tora’s downfall if the latter failed to take care of him? Hadn’t Shou been mad at him because of the marriage arrangement? Nothing seemed to add up.

“He ask--- _ordered_ me to take care of you whilst promising me I would be sorry if I didn’t.”

Saga couldn’t help chuckling after he heard that.

“What’s so funny?” Tora asked, but now some of the tension had gone out with Saga’s chuckle and now he seemed to be a bit more relax than before.

“It’s just...hard to imagine you taking orders from anyone else.” Saga struggled to answer between chuckles.

“I don’t need his ‘threat’, I will keep my promise to you anyway.” Tora pouted, as though he was offended by the suggestion of him taking orders from anyone. Certain not Shou.

His reaction made Saga smile “Anyway……Thanks.”

In response, the corners of Tora’s lips curled up into a smile in return, a true smile. “Let’s go back inside, you’ve been standing for far too long already.”

The blond would have nod in agreement and follow Tora if he didn’t remember he had one more thing to say……

“Wait.”

“What’s it?” Tora looked back, puzzled.

“There’s one more thing.” Saga straightened his back, looking up to meet Tora’s questioning stare as he spoke.

“Before that you had said something about me not confiding in you...” The younger boy paused, nervously took a deep breath, hoping to calm his racing heartbeat. “And here I have to clarify something a bit.”

Tora wasn’t expecting this.

With their previous conversations in mind, Saga continued; determined to get his points across this time without creating another misunderstanding. “You said that I confide in Aunt and Uncle but not you. I guess it’s only natural for me to seek advices from them because both of them are _adults_ and they know so much more about how things are supposed to work. And yes, at that time back then I didn’t feel the need to tell you about my problem, because I was sure you don’t care.” 

“Wait...You really think so little of me?” The thought about Saga mistrusting him as much as his parents did was utterly upsetting to Tora.

“I said ‘it’s the past’! Are you even listening? ” Saga interrupted him shapely. The raven head was as thick-headed as he had suspected, always jumping to conclusion so quickly. “Okay, to be frank you had been quite a jerk in the past, Tora.”

The raven wasn’t happy to be called out of his bad behaviors in the past. Though he knew trust could not be rushed, trust needed to be built up slowly, one step at a time.

“I care about you...I need you to believe this.” Tora tried to defend himself, but his words sounded lame even to his own ears, although he did speak the truth here.

Saga ignored the older boy’s reply and went on with his own sentence. He didn’t dare to pause and digest his husband’s helpless reply because he feared he would lose the courage to speak his mind once and for all. Everything needed to be rushed out in one go, it was now or never. “But...after what we had been through, things have changed, my feeling has changed,”

Tora finally looked up to meet the younger boy’s gaze, he was unable to stop his own heart from threatening to leap out of his throat with anticipation. What he also didn’t expect was to see Saga blushing before him when the latter mustered to finish his own sentence.

“now...I’m ready to trust you,”

A small gasp escape from Tora throat as he breathed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He felt he should say something at this point, but nothing came out. He watched as Saga shifted his weight from one foot to another, indicating just how nervous this conversation was making him. Plus he still had one more point to make.

“with one condition.”

Tora’s eyes widened in surprise, this time he was caught completely off guard by the younger one’s words.

Luckily he didn’t have to wait long before Saga explained. “ My condition is, you should trust me more in return.”

“It’s not like this, ” Tora shook his head. “I _do_ trust you---”

“But you know as much as I do that neither of us acted like we really trusted one another.” Saga sighed. “For how many times we backed away from telling each other something? Keeping things from each other? It has gone on for far too long.”

Thinking about what had happened between them, Tora had to admit his husband did have a point. In the end he nodded reluctantly, admitting his--- _their_ past mistakes.

“Then how should we start?” Tora asked.

Closing his eyes, Saga turned things over in his mind, it wasn’t long before the answer took shape in his mind. Then he reopened his eyes with a newfound confidence. 

“I want you to start it by...talk to me.” The blond gave out his conclusion. “ I want you to realize can talk to me when you’re upset and troubled. There may not be much I can do but still...I will be there, when you need me.” Saga uttered what was in his mind within one breath before finally slowing down.” That’s also a promise. Like you, I’ll keep my promise as well.”

Still there was something uncertain in Tora’s expression. Saga could tell that the older boy didn’t entirely believe in his claim about being ready to trust him. He sighed then. It had become so familiar with him that every time he talked to Tora, there were always moments where the blonde would sigh. Dealing with his husband was like dealing with a kid sometimes. It was also at a time like this that Saga would feel as if he was older than the raven head was and that he should console him.

The blonde took a few steps forward towards his husband, until they stood close enough to each other. Saga wasn’t sure about what he would do next, but he did nonetheless. He put his palm on Tora’s cheek, gently guiding the raven head to look him in the eyes.

“I meant what I’d said.” said the blonde again. “I meant it.”

Tora didn’t say anything at first, then he looked down and whispered. “Even after what I’d done to you back then?”

Saga swallowed uneasily, somehow he understood without even being told, that he should not give his reply lightly, that he should be careful about what he would say next simply because his answer actually _mattered_ to the older boy. 

“We both made mistakes in the past.” 

Then the blond paused, waiting until Tora averted his eyes to look back at him. “ What we now need is a fresh start, really...”

Tora closed his eyes for a moment, taking the younger boy’s words into consideration. Before he opened his eyes again. “Thank you, Saga.”

_For giving me another chance, you don’t know how much it means to me…_

Relief washed through Saga as he saw his husband coming around, shrugging off regret and blame. Perhaps it really would be their first step to---

Saga’s thought was cut short when he realized Tora had been saying something to him.

“I’m sorry, what are you saying?” The blond blinked confusedly. 

“I’m saying, do you have plan for today?” Tora repeated.

“No.”

“Then maybe we should do something together.” The taller boy suggested. He almost looked...pleased when Saga answered he didn’t have plan for today.

The blond teen wasn’t quite sure he got what Tora meant. “You mean going out?”

“I mean like...let’s go to see a movie.” Tora clarified rather shyly. “You said we need a fresh start, right?”

“Yes...”

“So let me do something nice for you today. I want this to be part of our fresh start...”

The idea of Tora taking effort to be nice to him was still a new concept to Saga,s so he had to turn the suggestion around in his mind, then gave his reply. “Sounds like a good idea...” 

A movie? It sounded innocent and harmless enough.

to be continued.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sensing Saga’s presence close behind him and the blonde's hand on his shoulder, Tora looked back. He paused for a moment, his eyes locked with the younger boy’s before Tora’s hand found Saga’s and held it securely as the pair continued to move through the crowd.

** Chapter 34 **

 

Soon it was decided that the two of them would take a train to Shibuya for the movie they intended to watch before nightfall. They still had no particular movie in mind, but they figured they would choose one after getting to the cinema.

Tora had also figured out that after the movie, he could took Saga out for dinner in the same district before they had to go home. It had been a while since the last time neither of them had made a trip to Shibuya—one of the most famous districts of the country, Tora found himself missing the entertainment and excitement this place entailed. 

So, the two teenagers walked to the closest train station; it didn’t take long before a suitable train arrived and they got in and began their trip. After boarding, the two also managed to find two empty seats on the bench and they settled down by sitting next to each other. It would take some time before they reached the Shibuya Station. 

Making himself comfortable on his seat, Tora recalled his mother’s reply when he told her he was taking Saga out during the afternoon.

His mother had given her permission after taking a long look at her son.

_I think I should have grounded you till the end of summer but…...today, you can take Saga out._

A small smile appeared at the corner of Tora’s lips as he recalled his mother’s words. His mother always had a soft spot for Saga, and for this reason alone, today he was saved from being grounded, temporarily. 

Grounding or not, at least he still had time to make today pleasantable.

Stealing glances at Saga, Tora saw his newlywed younger husband resting against the low backrest of his seat, the younger teen was currently looking out at the window. There was no way for Tora to tell what was in Saga’s mind, was he looking forward for this… _date_? He couldn’t tell. But the blond had agreed to go to a date with him...right? So it meant Saga was comfortable with him enough to agree upon a nice little section of outing? Although neither of them had ever mentioned this outing actually _being_ a date.

There was no way for Tora to admit it out loud, still in his mind, he couldn’t help feeling their outing was leaning towards being an actual date. 

He thought back about his suggestion of going to a movie. How _typical_ could he get? Every single couple started their first proper date by go watching a movie...

Before he could entangle his own thoughts, the train came to a stop, reaching the Shibuya Train Station. The pair got off the train and began their visit to the crowded Shibuya district.

Although it was an afternoon on school day, the streets were still full of shoppers and the sightseeing crowd. It surely wasn’t Saga’s first time walking down those busy streets, but the district had somehow became even more crowded than he had recalled. Also, he was a bit taken aback by how fast people around him were walking and how difficult it was to place his steps without bumping into bypassers. The blonde inched closer to Tora, who was walking ahead of him, hoping to get some measure of safety; then the blonde reached out a hesitating hand and placed it on the taller boy’s shoulder, he figured it would reduce the chance of them being separated by the crowd. 

Sensing Saga’s presence close behind him and the blonde's hand on his shoulder, Tora looked back. He paused for a moment, his eyes locked with the younger boy’s before Tora’s hand found Saga’s and held it securely as the pair continued to move through the crowd.

Saga allowed himself to be guided, not once did Tora let go of his hand; although the blonde reasoned with himself that the raven head was doing it to make it easier for them to sail their way through the busy streets, still it didn’t stop his heart from beating faster. 

After the walk through the busy main streets, the pair arrived at a small cinema at the end of a narrow street. Unlike those other big fancy cinemas alongside the main streets, this cinema was more regular-looking and thankfully, there wasn’t much of a crowd despite today being school day. Being mindful of Saga’s condition, Tora had taken care to pick a cinema with little to no queue, in order to avoid long period of waiting and standing.

They entered the cinema and saw a very short queue before the ticket booth; beside the booth, there were adventurement and huge posters for different movies on display. 

Still holding hands, they went before the huge posters, it was time to decide what movie they would choose to watch. 

“Let’s see this movie then!” After a while, Tora pointed at the poster of a latest Hollywood action themed blockbuster and suggested cheerfully.

Saga almost wanted to say ‘yes’, but at the last minute he remembered something...

“Wait...I think it isn’t okay.” 

“Why?” The raven head gave Saga a puzzled look. 

“Aren’t there some...violent scenes in this movie?”

Tora nodded in confusion. Wasn’t it just quite natural to have violent scenes in an action movie?

Then within the next second, realisation hit him. Darn! He had forgotten a pregnant person should not watch anything too exciting or scary, because it was not good for the health of the baby! 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t remember—” Tora felt his ears heat up with embarrassment. How inconsiderate of him to only thought of his enjoyment without remembering what might or might not be suitable for the younger teen.

“It’s fine. We can just pick another one,” Saga suggested in return. 

Now, those other action themed movies were instantly out of the question. As a result, there weren’t many choices left. In fact, it didn’t take long for Tora to realise that there was only one movie left for them. By this point, they had checked out all the other movies but none of them fit for no reason or the other; though there was actually one movie which was without violent scenes, scary moments or anything too exciting or frightening...

Their singular remaining choice being…

Eventually, Saga came to notice this particular choice as well, so he pointed at the movie’s poster and asked, “So, what do you think about...this one?”

The movie poster he was pointing at was for a movie titled _“Takumi-kun Series: Ano, Hareta Aozora”_.

Taking one look at the poster, it was enough for both of them to know, without even having to read the blurb that, “Takumi-kun” was a movie about teenage romance, telling a love story between two school boys. Because on the poster there were two school boys stood facing one another with their eyes closed, their foreheads almost touching. The boys had hint of smile at the corners of their lips as though they were sharing a little secret together, everything was played out in a sweet, dreamy way fans of romance dramas would adore. 

Many girls and boys would jump up with joy for high school romance like “Takumi-kun”; but just as luck would have it, neither Tora nor Saga were fans for this well-loved genre. 

“So...what do you think?” Saga asked softly, not certain whether it was a good idea to suggest watching a romance instead of simply suggesting to leave the cinema.

“Oh…” For a moment the raven head was at loss, but after a pause he replied, ”I think it’s...alright.” 

The ‘alright’ at the end of Tora’s reply sounded a bit forced in Saga’s ears. 

However, before Saga could say anything, Tora was already moving towards the ticket booth, “Let’s get the tickets.” 

Saga followed, thinking that after all, they had come all the way to get to the cinema, so now it would be foolish to go back without watching some movie.

***

Just as Tora expected, there weren’t many moviegoers within the theatre, the pair settled themselves down on two seats in the middle of the audience's rows. They were sitting side by side, and there was no other audience sitting close to them. Before and behind them, there were many empty seats. The handful of other moviegoers seemed also to be young couples, but all of them had purposely chosen to sit far apart from the other audiences. The movie hadn’t started yet, therefore the entire theatre was bathed in semi-darkness whilst the moviegoers sat quietly, waiting for the movie to start. 

Sinking back to his seat, Saga waited for the movie to begin. The armchair-like seat he was sitting on was indeed comfortable, giving him a cozy feeling. However, whilst his body welcomed the comfort, Saga’s mind was not free of worry, his thoughts still lingered back to his previous conversation with Tora, he could still not stop himself from worrying about the punishment the brunette teen would face, and the punishment he might receive once the school’s authority made up their mind.

Then, he felt the weight of a warm hand fall upon his own. He didn’t need to look up, already he knew it must be Tora.

“You’re very quiet.” 

When Saga turned to face Tora, the raven head whispered. 

“What’s in your mind?”

“Nothing—” Saga’s first instinct was to deny he was troubled, but then he recalled that they had promised each other to speak their mind more openly. “I...actually, I was thinking about what would happen with the school.”

A slight frown knotted between Tora’s eyebrows, the teen admitted in his heart that school was only one of the many things he could offer barely any help to Saga, but at least he would still want to ease the blonde’s mind of troubles, even if it was just for today.

Without saying a word, he laced his fingers with Saga’s, holding his hand steadily before replying, “At least for now...don’t worry so much.”

Saga nodded, just in time the light in the theatre was switched off entirely and the big screen before them brightened up, indicated that the “Takumi-kun” movie was about to start. Taking the signal, the boys said nothing more as they waited for the movie to begin.

Before entering the theatre, the pair had learnt from the movie’s blurb that the “Takumi-kun” series was about two school boys who studied in an all-boys dormitory school, the story was set in a time when homophobes were still around and two boys dating was still being viewed as something ‘abnormal’ and ‘weird’; therefore the main couple must hide their relationship from their peers. It was so unlike the current Japan, where same-sex marriage was legalised and everyone could express their love freely. 

Neither Tora nor Saga had watched the previous movies from the “Takumi-kun” series before, so they did not know much details about the story. However, after watching the film for a while, it became clear that the main couple had gotten together for sometime already and were having some sort of lowkey secret relationship; and the movie was centred on the romance between them, and their daily activities in school. There were also side-stories about the main couple’s classmates, now and then there even were some humorous scenes being offered.

Saga was playing close attention to the plot’s development. Despite not being a fan of romance, still the blonde found himself being taken in by the heart-warming story of Takumi and Gii. He liked how the couple took effort to work out their issues, which added a sense of believability into the romance. At first the blonde could still hear Tora making sassy remarks about the actors’ acting skill and the comical moments in the movie, but during one of the scenes, the two lead characters were being left alone by themselves in the dorm, and then the two ended up kissing; at that point even Tora had gone quiet next to him. 

Saga’s concentration was broken only when he felt Tora hold his hand tighter.

Averting his eyes away from the screen, the blonde looked down at their hands, which was currently entwined together; he wondered why the raven head tightened his grip. He gazed up at Tora's face, only to found the latter had his eyes fixed solemnly on the screen. Saga could almost swear that despite of the dim surrounding, he could see that Tora’s face was flushing.

Puzzled, finally Saga turned his gaze back to the big screen; just in time to see the rather innocent kissing scene between Takumi and his boyfriend Gii had developed into a full-on make out section. 

And once he realised what exactly was making Tora flush, Saga’s face also became red.

****

Tora was hoping for the kissing scene to end soon, but unluckily much to his embarrassment and chagrin; the two guys on the big screen showed no sign of keeping their hands off each other, and there was nothing he could do but to look on as the lead couple kissing and caressing each other with growing passion.

_“Should we stay here, or go to the bed?”_

Oh the screen, the seme, Gii asked his blushing boyfriend after breaking their long kiss.

_“Bed...”_

The uke guy replied shyly.

Much to Tora’s horror, the next thing he knew the main couple was moving onto a bed, and mere seconds later, those two dudes continued their make out section whilst lying on said bed and slowly, very slowly undressing each other.

Oosp.

Meanwhile, Saga was more than grateful for the darkness surrounding them, under the cover of the darkness, no one could see how his face was burning hotly as series of heavy make out slowly leading the main couple towards sex. He was also made to become very aware of Tora’s hand cradling his; even though at this point the older boy didn’t seem to be able to keep still on his own seat: the brunette had been fidgeting on his seat, crossing and uncrossing his legs. The blonde could tell the older boy felt embarrassed, and to tell the truth, he wasn’t much different.

Still, despite being obviously uncomfortable with what was going on on the big screen, Tora didn’t let go of Saga’s hand.

Things were getting even more heated up, as the couple in the movie lost themselves in passion and then—

To make a long story short, it would be best to highlight that the two boys had only expected to watch a light-hearted romance movie, still neither of them knew there would be a nearly NC-17 scene playing out in front of them. To be honest, the scene wasn’t very graphic, they only showed some close-ups of the lead couple and some limited body parts. Still, the pictures and the sounds of the couple’s lovemaking on screen was enough to embarrass the hell out of the two teenage boys. 

Once again taking his eyes from the screen for a moment, Saga looked at his husband and asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to disturb the other moviegoers in the theatre, “Tora, are you sure…?”

The blonde was wondering should they continue to watch the movie, because now he had a feeling that Tora was very uncomfortable with what was going on in the movie. 

Tora turned to face the blonde, taking in his feature, the younger boy’s face was softly illuminated by the soft glow coming from the big screen. He was also vaguely being aware of Saga saying something to him, but all came through to him as a breeze, all that capture his attention was Saga's lips whilst the blonde was stuttering. 

Saga realised Tora was staring at him with _that look_ in his eyes instead of really listening to what he had to say. Instantly, Saga realised the raven head was about to kiss him, the blonde felt frozen in place, he couldn’t move an inch even though his heart was leaping; but to his disappointment, Tora leant back rapidly in the last second and suggested them to leave the cinema. The moment of wonder had slipped away before anything could happen.

“You’re right...we should get out of here,” standing up from his seat rather rapidly, Tora murmured his agreement under his breath as he reached for Saga’s hand again, helping the latter up from his seat. Then, they left the cinema together. 

Outside, the sun was setting behind the skyscrapers whilst the streets became even more crowded with the steam of salary men and office ladies on their way home. Tora’s mind was still on what had taken place in the cinema. In a sense...nothing had happened, but Tora knew very well what had _almost_ happened back in the theatre. 

“Tora...”

The raven head couldn’t believe he was so carried away, his libido was clearly to blame.

“Tora?”

It took him a moment before Tora became aware of Saga calling out to him.

“Yes?”

“Where’re we going now?” The blonde asked.

Tora paused and thought things over, then he answered in an unnaturally cheerful tone, “Let’s go to that ice-cream booth.” 

“Okay...”

To be continued.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saga thought they would simply take the photo standing side by side, but in the last second, Tora shifted closer to him and wrapped an arm around him from behind.

** Chapter 35 **

 

Saga took a few steps forward towards his husband and just then, his eyes caught sight of a photo booth near the ice-cream booth. He halted his pace, staring at the photo booth as Tora looked bewildered at him and the raven head ended up approaching him.

“What’s wrong?” asked Tora, gently reaching out a hand to hold his younger husband’s.

The blonde merely raised a finger and pointed at the photo booth, and after a brief moment, he said, “.......Do you remember?”

Tora followed in the direction Saga’s index finger was pointing at, his mind gradually reminiscing their childhood days together. A small smile shaped on his lips as he replied softly, “Of course, I do.”

 

~*~

_“Kids, don’t go too far!” Mrs. Amano could only shake her head as the much younger Tora, Saga, and Nao ran to a photo booth nearby the clothes store they were heading to._

_On this particular Sunday, Mrs. Amano had intended to shop for some new clothes for her kids, Saga included. Mr. Amano also went along with them. Thus, now here they were, in one of the malls in the shopping district. They had entered one or two clothes store, and were now heading to the third store, when Tora suddenly whined that he was getting bored. Mr. Amano had suggested them to rest for a bit and his wife had agreed too, but then Nao elbowed his little brother’s ribs._

_“What~?” asked the little dark-haired kid, sounding a bit annoyed.  
“_Purikura _!” exclaimed Nao in excitement._

_Catching sight of the said photo booth, Tora’s eyes widened in excitement as well and he had almost practically dragged his big brother to the photo booth, but halted when he felt a tug on his shirt. He turned around, only to find his little cousin looking timid and staring at him. Confuse was visible on his face._

_“....Purikura tte….nani?” asked Saga in a low voice._  
“Eehh?! You don’t know?” Tora’s eyes went even bigger hearing Saga’s question, “Purikura wa purikura desu!”  
“Tora, you’re not helping. Saga, it’s a print club,” Nao butted in, grinning.  
“Print club?” Saga looked even more confused now.  
“A photo booth dayo! You can print photo stickers from that machine! Sugee nee?!” The little raven head added, looking so eager to try the said machine.  
“Hhnn…..” Saga hummed, nodding in understanding. 

_Next thing they knew, they were already running towards the photo booth, their mother warning them not to go too far, but they were too excited to hear the woman. Meanwhile, Mr. Amano rested a hand on his wife’s shoulder and laughed, “Kids.”_

~*~

“Can we go to that photo booth instead?” Saga said with a little pout.

His younger husband’s childish pout made him smile. Who was he to say no?

“Of course we can.” _Anything you like..._

“Thanks!”

Then, they walked hand-in-hand towards the photo booth.

“Can you believe it, Tora? I’ve never been to any photo booth since the last time the three of us went together,” the blonde laughed when he said this.  
“Eh? Seriously? Unbelievable…” The raven did look at his spouse in disbelief, and the blonde’s face turned a bit red in shame.  
“Well...I really don’t have that much friends to hang out with. Isn’t it more fun to take photo stickers with more people?”  
“Not really,” Tora released Saga’s hand, only to fling his arm around the shorter teen’s shoulder, “The two of us can make it fun, too.”

Tora winked at him, and Saga’s face brightened as he smiled widely.

“Hai!”

They arrived in front of the photo booth and Tora took out some coins from his jeans pocket. There were many different _Purikura_ machines, all with different themes for picking. Eventually they stopped before a _Purikura_ machine with a kitty theme.

When he saw the cute kitty cartoon printed all over the machine, Tora was a bit uncertain about choosing the kitty theme; but Saga just grinned and playfully pushed the taller boy inside.

The machine came into life once the coins were dropped in. Now, the two teenagers stood before a screen, ready for the photo taking. They could see their own reflection on the screen, standing next to each other, close but not touching. 

Now there was cheerful music playing, and then there was also a high-pitched female voice coming for the machine, instructing them what to do next. 

_Let’s get ready for your photo-taking, customer-sama!_

The female voice was now telling them to get ready.

_One, two, three._

Saga thought they would simply take the photo standing side by side, but in the last second, Tora shifted closer to him and wrapped an arm around him from behind. 

_Cheeerrrss~~~_

Surprised, the blonde only had time to turned slightly towards his husband, a half-formed question about to be uttered, but then bright light started flashing before him, their photos were taken. 

They had to wait for a short while before the photos reappeared on the screen one by one for the pair to edit. Saga happily added cartoon kitties around the photos, whilst Tora reluctantly added a few comical efforts here and there.

Saga didn’t mention the fact that in all of those photos, Tora had his arm around him and they actually looked rather intimate. 

Once finished designing patterns and adding cartoon figures into their photos, their stickers were ready for printing. The two teenagers left the _Purikura_ booth together after getting the stickers. 

When the machine had finally done printing two copies of their stickers, Saga reached down to get them before he handed a copy to Tora for keeping. Then, the blonde watched Tora looked at the printed sticker for a moment before slipping it into his pocket without comment. 

The blond teen wanted to ask Tora why he decided to pull him closer at the last moment, what had made him do that? But at the same time Saga also felt strange, he wasn’t able to pinpoint why he would be bothered by a little detail like that.

Tora didn’t act any differently afterward, though Saga saw a hint of smile at the corners of his husband’s lips when they walked together. 

Now it felt like Saga was the only one who kept thinking about it without letting the matter slip.

Maybe he should try to put his mind off the matter. It was no big deal after all, right?

“Are you disappointed?” The blonde asked experimentally, the question left his mouth as soon as he thought about it. 

“...No,” Tora answered with a puzzled look on his face, “Why did you ask?”

“You know, we have gone to watch a movie but in the end, we left the cinema halfway. So I am just wondering whether you’re disappointed.”

“Not exactly,” Tora replied quickly, “In fact...I think the movie is fine, surprisingly the story has more depth than I have expected...but then it is just...”

“I know what you mean,” Saga caught up with the raven head’s sentence before the latter could complete it, “ _That part_ of the movie is just...a bit embarrassing to watch. ”

Both of them knew which part of the movie was Saga referring to, it just went without saying. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have been so worked up by this scene. To be fair it isn’t really a NC-17 scene, nor is there anything gross in it,” Tora commented thoughtfully, “It’s not like we are still kids.”

Saga chuckled at his husband’s words, so far it was one of the most mature things he had ever heard from the older boy. 

To be completely honest, Tora admitted to himself, he wasn’t feeling embarrassed because the two characters in the movie were heavily making out on the big screen. He became uneasy and embarrassed because those makeout scenes were provoking his mind to think of some sensual, _highly suggestive_ thoughts.

Those thoughts touched upon few certain incidents from his memory, and those thoughts made him become much, much more aware of Saga sitting close to him when they were surrounded by the darkness of the theatre; made him become aware of the warmth radiating softly from the blond teen’s body. Those thoughts had caused him to hold onto Saga’s hand tighter, made him want to kiss Saga’s lips when they turned to face each other—which he almost did in the theatre.

To be absolutely honest, he had thought about more than just kisses...

However, the raven head knew he wasn’t about to mention any of these things to Saga, simply because it was too...embarrassing. 

***

When they left the _Purikura_ booth behind, the sun was already setting; so it felt kind of natural that the next stop of their little adventure should be a place for dinner. 

After finished watching the movie and taking photos in the photo booth, dinner felt like a reasonable choice. Still, on the other hand, Tora couldn’t help paying attention to the order of things here: movie, _Purikura_ booth, and then dinner; it was what most couples would do when they were dating, right? It was a standard routine that most of the young people in the country would know by heart.

Tora couldn’t help noticing how closely their activities for today had perfectly copied this typical dating formula; even though in his mind he was still trying to deny he was thinking about himself and Saga as a couple.

What Tora didn’t notice was that Saga had also made mental notes on how much this outing had turned out like a date as well; for the raven head failed to pay attention to Saga’s slightly awkward reaction when Tora brought up the suggestion of going for dinner. 

_Why did the events of today seem to play out like they were having a date?_

Both of them were thinking about the same question, but neither of the boys could figure out the reason why they were so aware of this situation. 

Lost in their thoughts, the pair had gone quiet for a moment. However, as they were walking, Tora’s hand moved quietly yet smoothly, taking Saga’s hand into his own without any announcement.

Saga didn’t mean to react to Tora’s little action, but he still found breath caught in his throat. It was stupid though, the blonde scolded himself; it wasn’t like they had never held hands before! He recalled Tora had taken his elbow and held him close when they visited his late parents’ grave; they had also just held hands on the way to the cinema as well...so it was…...hands-holding shouldn’t be a big deal...

So once again they were holding hands, and it felt like it was the natural thing to do. Not only this, Saga admitted to himself, today they actually had managed to share a good time together, plus the fact that he had been spending so long a time with Tora today was enough of a surprise to him, but what felt just as equally surprising was...how nice it actually felt to spend time with Tora, alone. 

“Tora...” Saga began, feeling somewhat like he should say something; wanting to express his feeling to the older boy. He meant to tell the older boy he was glad that they had came out to spend time together today, at the back of him mind, he wanted Tora to reply that he felt the same…

But before he could finish his sentence, a female voice shouted from behind them, cutting off Saga’s speech.

“Tora… _is that really you_!?” 

Saga’s words died in his throat as he heard Tora’s name being called out. Tora had stopped at his pace upon hearing this female voice calling for him; he turned towards where the sound came from. In the next second, his body seemed to just tense up once he catch sight of the person who had shouted his name out. Slowly, he loosened his grip on Saga’s hand. 

Standing beside him, Saga had turned as well so he could also take a good look at the one who had called out to Tora. Standing on the middle of the sidewalk, facing them was a familiar looking, and very beautiful long-haired girl.

Who was this girl? Saga felt as though he _should_ remember who she was, but the memory about her couldn’t quite reach him yet.

“......Keiko?” Tora whispered with a quiet voice.

The mention of the girl’s name from Tora’s lips awoke Saga’s memory instantly. It was _Keiko_. A senpai who had already graduated from their high school. Saga wondered, did she graduate the same year with their other senpai, Miyavi; or was it a year earlier?

How could he fail to recognise Keiko before? In their school, the girl was as famous as Miyavi before she graduated. Her face was very well-known amongst the student body.

Understandably, Keiko, the girl in question was completely oblivious to Saga’s shock and uncertainty. Her smile widened once she saw recognition appearing on Tora’s face. “Tora~~nice to meet you again!” 

“Oh, nice to see you again…” Tora smiled back as the girl made her way towards him, but his reply sounded forced whilst his smile was tight, nervous. “...It really has been a while, right?”

Keiko answered cheerfully, “Oh yes, it has been a while!”

Then, the beautiful girl turned her head to the blond teen beside Tora. She felt this blonde also looked quite familiar to her. Then, her face brightened as the memory came back, “You’re Saga-kun, ne?”

“Yes, I’m Saga. Glad that you still remember me. Nice to meet you here, Keiko san,” the blonde replied unsurely, though he really was surprised that Keiko managed to remember him at all. After all he was just one amongst so many students, whilst she was the one everyone else desperately wanted to know and befriend. 

“I remember now! You’re Tora's cousin!” The girl smiled warmly at the blond boy.

Instantly, Saga could feel his smile frozen. 

He knew he should continue to smile and give a polite reply to Keiko; but even when he wanted to say something in response, still no sound seemed to be able to get past his lips. Feeling helpless and confused, he stole a glance at his husband, waiting for the raven head's reaction. Would the raven head step up to answer Keiko’s question on his behalf? Would he correct the older girl? Or would he still stick to the 'only cousins' label?

Seconds ticked by, still Tora showed no sign that he'd say something, though. Then, Saga forced himself to smile again and answered Keiko, “Yes, I’m Tora’s cousin.”

He didn't like how the words came out of his mouth, it felt wrong. The same as how he disliked the feeling of Tora's grasp loosen up, and how the older boy had let go of his hand the moment Keiko showed up.

Keiko nodded in acknowledgement. But Tora then came up a sentence which caught Saga totally off guard.

“Keiko, actually...Saga and I, we’re married,” Tora stated the fact with a smile, but Saga could tell a hint of hesitation under his casual tone.

“Really? I have heard nothing of it!” Keiko’s eyes widened in wonder. 

“It’s quite recent,” Tora explained.

 

“Congratulation then!” Keiko gave the raven-haired boy a hug which was supposed to be a friendly gesture. Tora must admit he didn’t expect the older girl to hug him, let alone in front of Saga.

Keiko might be oblivious, but Tora noticed his younger husband was forced to step back a bit because of the older girl’s sudden action. Even when she finally released Tora from her supposedly friendly embrace, she still didn’t seem to notice the change in Saga’s expression. The blonde himself had lowered his head, not even Tora could tell what the younger boy was thinking at the moment.

“Ah, sorry, but I must go. Hope to see you two again soon!” Keiko said cheerfully as she waved them goodbye, “See you later!”

The encounter with Keiko left a grey little cloud above Saga’s head. He swore he would do his best not to show this encounter affected him.

 

“ _See you later_!”

 

The thought about seeing Keiko again later caused a lump to be stucked at Saga’s throat.

to be continued…


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “.......” Saga continued to stay quiet after hearing about Keiko’s invitation. If he were to be completely honest with himself, he would admit he was glad that Tora had turned down Keiko’s invitation.

** Chapter 36 **

 

By nightfall, the two teenagers were sitting in a small restaurant not far away from the station, finishing their meal. 

The restaurant they had ended up in was not some fancy restaurant. Still nonetheless, the food was tasty; there were many customers during the dinner rush but the place was not noisy. Everyone could sit comfortable around their tables and enjoyed their meals relaxingly, chatting with friends and families. However, despite the good food, Saga didn’t eat much. Though after a day full of activities, he actually was hungry; still, somehow he had managed to lose his appetite. 

Tora, who sat opposite of the blonde across the table, had also noticed the younger man’s lack of appetite after a few attempts of encouraging the blonde to eat up, which only met with little to none reaction. Finally, the raven head sighed, “Why are you so quiet? Is something wrong?”

“I’m just tired,” shaking his head, Saga replied simply, without revealing the real reason.

Tora could almost swear that Saga was upset; the only problem was, he didn’t know what had caused it. Could it be…?

Putting his fork down, the raven-haired teen tried another approach, “Are you feeling alright?”

Immediately, Saga was surprised by Tora’s question, “What? I’m fine!” 

“I was just thinking…” Tora threw up his hands a bit, ”maybe you aren’t feeling alright because of your...pregnancy.”

The fact that Tora was worried about him, and the raven head’s awkward mention of the word ‘pregnancy’, brought a smile on Saga’ s face and warmth to his heart, “I feel okay, don’t worry.” 

So he could cross out discomfort being the source of Saga’s unusual quietness. He should try something else.

At the back of his head, Tora had a vague suspicion that Saga was being upset over something, but the young boy didn’t want to bring it up in front of him. He sighed, feeling a bit hurt that Saga was unwilling to share what was going on in his mind. In the past, it might annoy him; but now, he knew better than to press the issue.

He thought to himself, perhaps when Saga was ready, he would tell him what was bothering him.

****

After dinner, the pair went back to the train station to take a train home. Their train arrived on time; and thankfully, it had already past the rush hour, so they managed to find seats to sit beside one another.

It would take about half an hour for them to get to their station. Around them, they could hear the noise of machines running, they could hear small talks among other passengers; but between them, there seemed to be nothing more to say.

Leaning back against the soft backrest behind him, Saga felt tiredness slowly spread across his limbs. It was strange, when he was moving around from place to place and having activities, he didn’t feel tired; but once he sat down with nothing more to do, his body seemed to finally start giving out signal to demand rest. 

Glancing down at his watch, the blonde was a bit taken when he realised what time it actually was. 8:45 PM? Why was he feeling so tired even though it wasn’t even 9:00PM? 

Like most teenagers, Saga was used to stay up all night. Back then, exhaustion didn’t seem to be able to touch him; but apparently, pregnancy had changed this for him, just like it had changed so many other things. 

It wouldn’t take long for the train to arrive at their station. Saga kept reminding himself as he struggled to keep his eyes open. But slowly, the weight of slumberness was dragging him downward. 

 

Tora was being drawn out of his thoughts by a weight pressed onto his shoulder, a warm body slowly leaning onto him for support. He glanced down to find Saga falling asleep; his slumbering form came to rest on him as the younger man took his nap.

Tora sighed to himself, recalling Saga did mention he was tired when they were having dinner.

Looking down, he could only see the top of Saga’s head, his blond locks had hidden most of his face away from his view. Still, the delicate form pressing warmly against him stirred up a strange sensation from within Tora’s body. As if to highlight this sensation; up close, Tora could also smell the clean light scent of shampoo Saga had used to wash his hair. 

It was the same feeling again, just like what happened back in the cinema. When Saga was so close to him, making him feel all funny inside; that urge to claim the younger boy as his own. But it was more than just possessiveness. The thought of Saga leaning against him so trustingly, relying on him, made the older boy feel so happy. Ridiculously happy. The thought of holding Saga close to him, the thought of the two of them, together; with no one else to disturb them—

The raven head didn’t even know when he wrapped his arm around the blonde’s shoulder, helping the latter to lay his head on a more comfortable angle on the crook of his shoulder.

Saga murmured something incoherent when he was being moved, but he didn’t wake up; for that, the raven head was glad. At the back of his mind, he feared the spell would be broken if Saga opened his eyes and realised he had fallen onto Tora’s shoulder. He didn’t know how the blonde would react, but his guessing was on a look of pure shock and a quick shove to untangle himself. The raven head would rather prefer a quiet, sweet stolen moment like this. 

For a brief moment, the world around them seemingly ceased to exist when he kept his eyes on his sleeping husband, feeling his gentle weight pressed to his side, his breathing slow and even; his form entirely relax in sleep, relying on Tora for support and comfort. The raven head didn’t want this to end.

Tora was brought back to reality when he heard a mechanical voice announced through the train’s sound system that their station would be the next stop. They would soon have to be on the move.

Drawing in a breath, Tora called to his younger husband, “Wake up, sleepy head.” 

“Hhhh...” Saga murmured again sleepy.

“We have to get off the train soon, so...Saga, wake up. ”

His words seemed to finally catch the blonde’s attention; with a little stir, Saga opened his eyes and slowly turned his head up.

“We’ll have to get off the train, you said?” The younger teen repeated Tora’s sentence sleepily, whilst he was still leaning onto his husband, without showing any sign of changing his position. 

“Yes,” the raven head could only reply positively to Saga’s question, even though he couldn’t shrug off the feeling that part of him was still being reluctant to let this moment come to an end.

A faint smile ghosted across Saga’s lips, “Let’s go then.”

The older boy nodded at those words, and soon the train came to a stop, and the two of them were on their way out of the carriage, once again holding hands.

****

Later that night, Saga found himself sitting on his and Tora’s bedroom; more particularly speaking, sitting on their bed. Previously, he had taken a shower and changed, after he was finished, it was Tora’s turn to use the bathroom.

Saga had fallen asleep on the train home, but now after a shower, the blonde felt a little more refreshed, now he had changed into clean nightwear, ready to go to sleep. Still, he would prefer to wait for Tora to return and said goodnight to the older boy before calling it a day.

Whilst he waited, the blonde heard a familiar ringtone started beeping loudly. 

Instantly, Saga recognised the ringtone of Tora’s iPhone and turned his head to where the sound came from. He soon realised Tora’s iPhone had been left at the corner of the bed, he also saw the screen of said iPhone flashing, indicating that someone was phoning in. Although Saga swore he didn’t mean to spy, still he couldn’t stop himself from noticing Keiko’s name flashing brightly on Tora’s iPhone’s screen.

The moment he caught sight of Keiko's name flashing on Tora's iPhone, the thought that came to him was: _“...So he still saves her number.”_ ; and there was no denying that the discovery upset him.

Stupid! Why should he be so bothered by Keiko’s phone call? It wasn’t like Tora must cut off his connections with his friends! It wasn’t like there was anything going on…

Nothing was going on now, right?

However, it wasn’t just any friend in question, it was _Keiko_. This fact alone bothered him. 

Tora and Keiko...they _did_ have a past together. Saga knew as much, but he also knew they had broken up. They used to date before Keiko finished high school and went studying abroad. As a matter of speak, they never went ‘public’ and confirmed their relationship to other students, but there had been enough rumors circulating which made students at least realise _something_ was going on between them. In high school, keeping secret for a long period of time was close to impossible, especially when the couple in question was a girl as well-known as Keiko and a boy like Tora, who had his own fame as the captain of the school’s football team. 

To be honest, the blonde knew none of the detail about their relationship; in fact, no one knew. In their school, some of the popular students used dating as a mean to boost their popularity and fame, but neither Keiko and Tora were willing to use this method. Though many people in school had guessed on the fact that they were an ‘item’ and would have loved to gossip about them; still, the pair had been subtle about their relationship and hadn’t let much detail slipped. 

However, he _did_ know how breaking up with Keiko had affected Tora, he had witnessed the aftermath of the break up first hand. That day in the garden, Tora looked drained, lost, heartbroken. He acted out of character because he was so sad. A guy like Tora would not have reacted like this if he hadn’t been serious about this relationship. So he must have had real feelings for the older girl. 

Thinking about that day again upset Saga even more.

The blonde was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Tora stepping out from the bathroom. The older teen had also changed into his pyjamas, with a towel in his hand; his pale skin looked flushed after the shower. 

“I think I’d heard my phone ringing when I was in the bathroom,” Tora asked casually whilst dropping the towel on a chair nearby. 

Unable to pretend oblivious but having no desire to answer with words, Saga could only nod.

“So...who’d called?” The older boy asked questioningly. 

“...Keiko,” Saga replied without a thought, but instantly he realised it sounded suspicious that he could be so certain of the caller’s identity, he had to awkwardly tune down his claim, “I _think_ it was Keiko.”

Surprised, Tora moved towards the bed and picked up his iPhone. He checked the LINE messenger, it didn’t take long for him to find Keiko had left him a message to invite him to her live performance in a club.

A smile came up to him then, remembering Keiko’s wish to get her training and become a vocalist, now it seemed the older girl had made her dream come true.

It was her sweet singing voice which caught his attention at the beginning. Tora had encountered other pretty, popular girls before and he had never fallen short of female admirers; but Keiko was different from those girls. She was humble and was always nice to everyone even when she was so popular, not once had she used her fame and beauty to her advantage or to manipulate others even when countless of boys were ready to drop down and worship the ground she stepped on.

It didn’t take Tora long to become one of those silly boys, once he got to know Keiko personally and started falling for her. 

He liked her a lot, once. But what attracted him the most wasn’t her outward appearance; he adored her outgoing, cheerful personality, he admired how despite being fragile-looking, Keiko could be so bold, outspoken and independent. She also had an unwavering determination to follow her dreams; she was much, much more than just a pretty face. 

Thinking back of their brief encounter with Keiko today, the raven-haired teen was surprised by how he could talk to Keiko so calmly. And once the feeling of awkwardness faded away, they could even chat in a friendly, familiar manner, just like old friends who hadn’t met each other for a long time.

It would be nice for them to start hanging out again, right? But at the back of his mind, Tora wasn’t at ease with this idea. Despite the pleasantly surprising reunion with Keiko, he felt that something was amiss.

At this moment, Tora's iPhone vibrated again, and he switched the small device on only to find out there was a new message from Keiko. 

_Tiger san? Are you here?_

It was only natural for the raven head to text back. 

_Hi Keiko, I’m here!_

_^___^_

_I saw your invitation, but sorry that I can’t go!_

_Arghhhhh….why?_

Tora thought for a moment, then he texted in the reason. _Because I’ll be grounded, starting from tomorrow!_

_Really?_ Here came Keiko’s surprised reply.

_Yesssss_

_Why would you be grounded?_

_It’s a long story =__=_

_It’s okay._ Keiko’s messages kept appearing on the screen. _So maybe next time then!^_^_

_Yes next time!_ Tora texted back, secretly feeling glad that Keiko did not ask him about the reason of his grounding. It really did spare him of much embarrassment.

Tora put down his iPhone then; when he looked up, he found his younger husband sat leaning against the headboard, watching him thoughtfully, as if he was about to ask him something. But then Saga looked away quickly, as though he was embarrassed of being caught peering.

“What’s it?” Puzzled, Tora asked.

Saga only shook his head, he didn't want to push the issue. He still felt strange about the fact that Keiko was once again making contact with Tora; at the back of his mind, he wanted to ask what had they been saying through their chat, but Saga knew it was immature to demand this from Tora. 

They went silent after that. Tora left the iPhone on the nightstand before moving to sit next to Saga, and then he told the younger one about Keiko invitation, although Saga didn’t ask him about it.

“.......” Saga continued to stay quiet after hearing about Keiko’s invitation. If he were to be completely honest with himself, he would admit he was glad that Tora had turned down Keiko’s invitation.

Tora was about to say something but then his iPhone started ringing again, the raven head looked down to see Keiko had left him yet another message.

Feeling disturbed, Saga did the only thing he could think of, “I will go and get a drink.”

“Oh, sure...” Tora replied casually, his attention being placed elsewhere.

Saga shifted off from the bed and left the room.

 

***

Tora checked his LINE messenger again, only to find Keiko had only sent a ‘goodnight’ message to him.

After replying Keiko’s message quickly with another ‘goodnight’ of his own, only then did Tora truly realise Saga had gone.

The raven head put down his iPhone again, leaning back entirely against the headboard, thinking back to the events of today, he couldn’t help thinking that everything had gone quite smoothly until Saga’s mood seemed to change a bit—right after they had met Keiko?

Was he imagining it, or was Saga acting jealous?

If it were the case, he should talk to Saga about it as soon as possible, he should tell his younger husband there was nothing to be worry about; that he and Keiko were just friends.

It was not something he was used to, though. Back then, he didn’t need to explain his relationships to anyone, but now it felt as though he should come clean about it somehow, to put any doubt into rest. Perhaps it was what marriage was about? It was different, and he wasn’t sure he could put it off smoothly, still he felt he should at least try. 

To lighten the mood, Tora then did something he usually would not consider doing: he fished the photo stickers out from his pocket, thinking it was time to put those stickers into some good use.

He turned the sticker so the photos were facing him, those small photos showed him and Saga standing close together, with cartoonish ornaments and comical words surrounding them both. Everything was glowing under a soft pinkish light.

Usually, Tora would think such stickers were too much of a cliché and would not put it on his personal item, but looking at Saga’s face in the photo, he felt more than willing to make an exclusion.

Tora had just done sticking the photo sticker onto the case of his iPhone when he heard the bedroom door open. He saw Saga entering their room through the door and closing it again afterwards. Almost in a rush, the raven head put his iPhone on the bedside table and straightened up at his sitting position against the headboard. He looked like he was anticipating something, whereas the blonde was completely oblivious to it. To be honest, Tora was expecting a small talk before they went to sleep. Either about today and how they spent it together, or about their ‘date’, anything...the raven head just wanted to talk to his husband. But Saga showed no sign that he was up to small talk tonight. Especially when his lips were pressing tightly together, and the fatigueness seemed still etched on his body, not fully washed away.

It didn’t take long until finally, Saga made his way towards the bed after putting his glass of water on the bedside table—it was now half-empty after the blonde drank the content earlier. Naturally, Tora shifted to give the blonde more space. Even after Saga tucked himself under the comforter, Tora still hadn’t uttered a word. The dark-haired teen reasoned to himself that maybe he could wait until tomorrow to talk to Saga. He was about to agree with his own decision when he heard Saga muttering good night to him. The older teen watched in silence as his younger husband turned on his side, his back facing Tora.

“Good night, Saga…” Replied Tora.

Tora reached out to turn the lamp off. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep yet. He tilted his head to the side again, trying to make out Saga’s feature despite of the darkness. His mind was full of thoughts...and worries. He was itching just to grab the blonde’s shoulder and make his husband face him and talk about what exactly was wrong between them right now, but he knew better not to ruin an exhausted pregnant person’s mood. Earlier at the restaurant, he could have sworn Saga looked like he was in a bad mood already.

Lost in his deep thoughts, Tora was a bit startled when he heard a rustle and the bed moved simultaneously. Without a word, Saga shifted himself closer to Tora and the raven head quickly welcomed him in his embrace. Tora didn’t expect this at all, but now here they were, holding each other in sleep. Although Tora found out that neither of them had fallen asleep yet. He felt Saga put his hand on his clothed chest, as the blonde made Tora’s arm as his makeshift pillow.

“Thank you for today, Tora.”

And just by hearing Saga whispered those words to him had managed to form a smile on Tora’s face, and all his worries could be put to rest for the time being. Putting his own hand above Saga’s, he whispered back, “Anytime.” 

to be continued.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mesmerised by the sight he beheld, Tora’s feet brought him towards the bed on their own accord. He tried not to make any sound, as he bent down and hesitantly, placed a kiss on Saga’s forehead. But a drop of water fell onto the blonde’s nose, and he made a soft noise at that, tilting his head to the side. The taller teen straightened up, holding back his laughter; although an amuse smile had stolen its way onto his lips.

** Chapter 37 **

 

Tora was woken up by the faint sound of his alarm. It wasn’t too loud—the raven head hated loud alarm ringtone—but still enough to wake him up. He groaned a bit and was about to reach his arm out to grab his iPhone when he felt a warm body beside him shift and hold him in place. The alarm had gone to snooze and would ring again in nine minutes, but Tora decided to use the given time to pay attention to his sleeping husband instead.

In his sleep, it seemed as though Saga didn’t even move any farther from Tora, for he was still clinging onto the raven head. The older boy noticed his arm that the blonde was using as a makeshift pillow had gone numb, but he shrugged it off. Back then, they wouldn’t have even shared a bed, so Tora wanted to savour the peaceful moment. However, as much as he wanted to stay, an idea crossed his mind and he had to leave the comfort of his bed and being close to his younger husband’s warmth in order to get _it_ done. Therefore after about a minute, the raven-haired teen reluctantly untangled himself from the blonde’s tight hold.

Once he had climbed down the bed, Tora moved to his nightstand and turned his alarm off, not wanting the blonde to wake up yet any time soon. Saga needed to rest as much as possible, after all. So, he then headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

~*~

The bathroom door opened quietly, revealing the raven head whose hair was still dampened from showering. Tora was topless; he’d forgotten to get his clean school’s uniform and long black trousers from his wardrobe before he entered the bathroom, partially because he was in a rush. A towel was wrapped around his lower abdomen, whilst his well-built abs were bare, glistened by the droplets of water that fell from his dark brown hair. Around his neck sat another towel, which he used for drying his hair. He then strode towards his wardrobe, but got distracted by the rustles that came from the bed, followed by a soft moan. He turned his head in the bed’s direction, finding his blonde husband was stretching in his sleep. A look of pure bliss was visible on his beautiful face, as Saga unconsciously pulled Tora’s pillow closer to him and hugged it.

Mesmerised by the sight he beheld, Tora’s feet brought him towards the bed on their own accord. He tried not to make any sound, as he bent down and hesitantly, placed a kiss on Saga’s forehead. But a drop of water fell onto the blonde’s nose, and he made a soft noise at that, tilting his head to the side. The taller teen straightened up, holding back his laughter; although an amuse smile had stolen its way onto his lips.

Making his way back to his wardrobe, the raven head put on his school’s uniform and trousers. He opened a small drawer at the bottom of the wardrobe and took out his tie, only to place it on top of his desk. He decided to wear it later, after he had done making breakfast for Saga.

It was his plan indeed. The raven head was fully aware of his lacking skill at cooking, but he thought that making a mere omelette wouldn’t be that difficult. So he agreed with himself to give it a try.

 

***

Saga woke up; for an instant, he felt odd to realise he had wakened up alone. When he first woke up, he was almost expecting to see Tora next to him; he would be lying if he denied that deep down, he was a bit disappointed by the raven head’s absence. 

Putting the thought aside, Saga rose from the bed and moved to the bathroom, when he stood before the bathroom’s mirror, he was glad that he didn’t suffer with morning sickness this morning. Much to his relief, those uncomforts were getting a bit less frequent. At the beginning, the blonde had read from a few books that symptoms such as morning sickness would likely to be lessened as time past. At that time, his own body had made him feel so miserable and weak that Saga had found those words difficult to believe in, but now...maybe there was some truth to those words?

Perhaps it also meant that the baby was fine as well, since the symptoms had been lessened and he hadn’t experienced pain and anything alarming recently, which probably indicated both him and the baby were both doing okay. The thought warmed his heart.

Walking downstairs, Saga’s nose caught the scent of something being cooked, but it was a bit different from what he used to smell in every morning. Puzzled, he wandered into the kitchen, where he found Tora, already changed into his school uniform, standing before the counter and he seemed to be...cooking?

Stepping into the kitchen, Saga stood and watched his husband hard at work before he coming up with a greeting, “Good morning.”

Startled, Tora spun around and found Saga across from him. He was serving the omelette on the dining table, complete with a large bowl of salad and two glasses of soybean milk. The raven-haired teen read it somewhere that soybean milk was much better to consume for pregnant people, compared to dairy milk.

“Hey...good morning,” replied Tora before he added, “I made breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” Saga’s eyes widened, he really didn’t expect it. As far as he knew, Tora _couldn’t_ cook.

And from what he was seeing here, this fact had remained unchanged. But Tora had moved to the chair near him and motioned for Saga to sit down. As he did, the raven head rounded the table and seated himself on the chair across from Saga.

“One of the maids assisted me,” Tora admitted, laughing, “You know I can’t cook.”  
“I’m aware of that, but…” the blonde waved his hand, indicating at the meals Tora had served for him, “...this, I didn’t know you’d wake up early just to make breakfast for me.”

Tora only smiled.

“Please, try it.”

The blonde complied, grabbing his spoon and fork and started eating. Tora waited for his reaction. When Saga put down his utensils after he swallowed the food, Tora leant forward, anticipating the upcoming comment.

“It’s…”  
“Yeah?”  
“...Standard,” Saga capped his mouth with his palm, trying to stifle his giggle.  
“But it’s still decent, isn’t it? I tried hard!”  
“I know,” the blonde couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, especially when Tora looked determined like that, “Thank you, though.”

Scratching the back of his head, Tora avoided Saga’s gaze, hoping the blonde wouldn’t notice he was embarrassed. As Saga continued eating, the older teen started eating as well. The air was nice, since the maid had opened the kitchen window. They could hear birds chirping on the trees outside, and now they simply sat there to enjoy the peaceful moment.

“So, you’re going to school today,” Saga started a conversation.  
“Yeah,” Tora also nodded in response.  
“Does Aunt—I mean...does _mother_ know?”

Tora smiled at the awkwardness he could hear in the tone his younger husband used when calling his mother the same way he did now. The blonde sure needed to get used to it.

“Yes, she does. She came with me when I was summoned to school to be informed about my…...problem, anyway,” the older teen put his fork down, drinking his soybean milk afterwards.

“I see…”

The blonde finished his omelette and continued with the salad now.

“Do you remember when Kubota-san graduated?”

“Huh…?” Of all things, Tora didn’t expect the blonde would come up with such a question, “I guess it was the year before Miyavi-senpai did?”

Saga merely hummed in response, quietly commenting how tasty the salad was. His gaze was fixed on his bowl; he wasn’t aware of Tora’s odd gaze on him. The raven still wondered why the blonde suddenly mentioned Keiko. The peaceful atmosphere seemed to be fading when he did, too. What was Saga thinking, actually?

***

After breakfast, Tora excused himself and went back upstairs to change. Today, the football team would gather for another practice, and like the other members of the team, Tora was expected to show up on time. He was almost certain that by the time the practice started, the coach would announce his removal from his position as the team’s captain. A huge lump seemed to stick to his throat as Tora thought about what was in store for him.

When Tora came back downstairs changing into his sport uniform, Saga was puzzled for a moment, then the blonde remembered even after regular classes had come to an end, the members of sport teams and other interest clubs still had their practices and gathering to go through. That was most likely the reason why Tora had woken up early this morning and was now changed into his uniform, all ready to go.

“I have to go,” Tora stated, after he saw his younger husband watching him.

“Be safe,” Saga replied shyly.

Next the pair made their way towards the front door. Saga watched as his husband got on to his bicycle and rode away, he stood there in front of the doorstep until Tora went out of his sight.

When he went back to the living room, Saga was met with Nao coming up to him. 

“Nao, is there anything?” The younger one noticed his older cousin looking worry and a bit nervous at the same time, even though Nao tried not to show it.

“Saga, we have just had a phone call, it’s from your school.”

Instantly, he knew what Nao’s words meant.

“They want to see me, today?”

Nao nodded.

“When?”

“At 11:00 this morning, there will be a meeting being arranged in the principal's office. The Principal will be there, so will other teachers.”

Saga closed his eyes. He had been waiting for this news ever since he and his Aunt met with his headteacher, and now he was about to face the final decision of the school’s authorities.

“I will go with you, Saga,” Nao offered.

“Thank you, Nao.”

“We will better get ready then.”

Swallowing hard, Saga nodded and stood up to start getting ready to face the school’s authorities. 

***

With the final exam well beyond them, every student was waiting for the result of their final exam, and the long awaited summer holiday was just around the corner.

Whilst classes had come to an end, the practices and meeting of the school’s sport teams and other clubs were still continuing. Just like the other sport teams, the school’s football team was having their usual round of practice in the morning.

Every member of the team had arrived to the playground on time, Tora was amongst them. Usually, the black-haired teen would have started practicing with the team, but today it was different. 

Once the entire team had gathered, the coach then had everyone of the member lined up before him, and announced that Tora would be removed from his position as the team captain due to skipping practices without notice and a few other violations. 

Around Tora, the other members were gasping in shock at the sudden announcement. Soon, many of them started talking amongst themselves, a few fingers were pointed at their ex-captain’s direction. Tora didn’t miss that a few members—those who had a less than friendly relationship with him, were now smirking at him quite openly, obviously taking pleasure in witnessing Tora’s humiliation firsthand. 

Tora didn’t say anything other than apologising to the whole team for forsaking his duty in the past and stating that he had already seen his own errors and would accept the coach’s publishment. 

He wasn’t going to complain, he wasn’t going to whine over the loss of his position. The raven head had long figured that if he had to go down, at least he would go into it with dignity. 

Very soon, the coach had everyone quieted down and order was restored, the practice was going to start, but instead of practicing with the rest of the team, Tora was ordered to stay behind and help cleaning the playground, as part of his punishment. 

So he began to endure his punishment, whilst the whole team—and everyone else who cared to notice, could watch and laugh.

***

Saga felt uncertain and nervous, his stomach seemed to be knotted tight with worry. 

Just after Tora left, they had received a phone call, and Saga was made aware of that he was being summoned to school. He had been summoned to school, so now here he was, accompanied by Nao in the place of his guardian, on their way to the Principal’s office.

Sitting at the head of the table was the Principal himself. His headteacher, Mrs. Suzuki was there as well, along with two other teachers.

“Sakamoto-san, welcome.”

Saga nodded and then greeted both the Principal and Mrs. Suzuki in return.

Then, the Principal turned his attention towards Nao, “And this gentlemen is…?”

In turn, Nao introduced himself properly and made it clear that he was here to represent Saga’s family.

Once everyone sat down and was being introduced, it was finally time to get down to business.

The Principal began. “Before the final exam, we have been informed about the inconvenient fact of your...pregnancy.”

Saga lowered his head, he could do nothing but to wait for the Principal to continue.

“First, let it be clear that we appreciate your honesty and your willingness to take your responsibility.”

The blonde could only murmured a ‘Thank you.’ under his breath. The way the Principal was saying those words, it gave him no comfort.

“When your past performance is concerned, we reviewed your records and talked to many teachers. By now, we are sure that you have always been a good student, and please believe me, we have already put that into our consideration.”

It took him a few seconds to fully understand what the Principal was saying.

“However, please understand that our school has certain…...rules which we need to uphold. And according to these rules, sadly it has become...improper for you to continue your study here.” The older man then brought a white envelope to the table, and carefully pushed it towards Saga and Nao’s side of the table, “We will recommend you to another school. We will offer you a recommend letter, which we believe would help you to be accepted.”

So this was the school’s authority final decision, and that was the most they would do for him, and for themselves. 

Saga felt Nao squeeze his shoulder in a comforting manner. The older man had no power to object the decision. Needless to say, the decision had been made. Neither of him and Saga could say no, or ask the school’s authority to reconsider everything.

The blonde stared at his hands on his lap, unable to look at Mrs. Suzuki’s face when the woman said, “We are all sorry that you will have to leave this school. But Sakamoto, this is the best for you too.”

Which meant the sake of their prideful school was still a priority. The students’ came last. Saga bit his lower lip at the bitter thought.

~*~

After he was dismissed from the school's principal’s office, Saga felt as though his mind had turned blank. He vaguely heard Nao ask him whether he needed something from the canteen, but Saga only shook his head.

“Well then...maybe we should go home,” suggested the older male.

“I want to see Tora,” Saga had said it absentmindedly at first, before he repeated his words whilst looking directly at his older cousin now, “I want to see him. Can I?”

The existence of sadness within the blonde’s eyes surprised Nao. Of course, he hadn’t had a heart to refuse.

“Sure. Sure, you can. I’ll be waiting in the car. Or...do you want me to come with you?”

“Thanks, but no, thanks.”

And the blonde turned on his heels to leave after that. Nao stared at Saga’s departing figure in silence.

to be continued.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stunned by Saga’s words, the can Tora was holding dropped to the ground, spilling its content. His eyes widened, as the only word that came out from his mouth sounded shocked, “...Saga…”

** Chapter 38 **

 

Tora was still in the middle of cleaning the floor when the coach told them to take a fifteen minutes break, including him. For a few seconds, the raven head thought he had seen Shou on the other side of the field about to approach him, but the blonde quickly turned on his heels and joined the rest of the baseball team that was practicing as well, whilst Tora retreated from his spot to put his tools away. The black-haired teen felt tired already, but he still had to resume his cleaning duty after break. He sighed at the thought, not realising the pair of shoes that had showed up before him. Tora lifted his head up, surprised to see Saga right there in front of him.

“Saga!”  
“Hey…” replied the blonde shortly, smiling weakly.

Immediately, Tora knew there was something wrong. He didn’t even expect the younger teen to be here. Aware of the bright sunlight, Tora suggested them to have a seat on the nearest bench under a tree. Behind him, Saga followed quietly. It was when they finally sat on the stone bench, the raven head did notice Saga had brought a can of Pocari Sweat for him. The blonde handed the can to him, which he received right away as he muttered his thanks. Once again, Saga only gave him a weak smile.

“So, what brought you—” he paused when Saga suddenly produced a handkerchief out of his trousers pocket and helped him wipe off the sweats of his face, “—here?”

Tora knew Saga couldn’t be here to join the baseball team’s practice, even though like Shou, the blonde was also a member of the team. However, being pregnant meant Saga had to stay away from the baseball field, at least for the time being. 

“I was summoned to the principals’ office this morning, right after you have left.”

Tora tensed up, he knew what Saga’s words meant.

“So...what did they say?” He asked quietly, fearing the answer.

It took a moment for the blonde to answer. As he did, the tone he used was bitter, “Practically, they...dropped me out.”

“What?!” 

Saga didn’t make a comment.

“They can’t do that! That’s unfair!”

“But they did decide what they thought the best for me, and no matter how unfair it might sound, it’s already settled!”

“There has to be something still—” Tora insisted, rising from the bench and was ready to leave, “I’m going to talk to them!”

Saga snapped, “Would you _please_ not make things worse?!”

The blonde stood up as well, his face flustered from holding back his anger. Tora opened his mouth to say something, but Saga had interjected him.

“For once, Tora...would you please stay behind? Isn’t it enough for you? You...you got me pregnant. You ruined my future...ruined my life.”

Stunned by Saga’s words, the can Tora was holding dropped to the ground, spilling its content. His eyes widened, as the only word that came out from his mouth sounded shocked, “...Saga…”

The blonde heard himself gasp. Immediately, Saga realised he had really said those words out loud, he was actually blaming Tora for the future he had to face. Soon enough, he regretted what he had said.

The blonde knew it was too late to take those words back, so when he looked at Tora's expression, he instantly knew the other guy realised it as well, he also saw the hurt there. He lowered his head and felt ashamed of his own outburst.

Then, he did the only thing he could think of: apologise, “Gomen, I didn’t mean it to sound like that...”

The blonde almost expected Tora to be mad at him for lashing out his anger on the raven head, but Tora only walked back to him; and did something that Saga hadn’t expected.

The raven-haired teen placed a hand on top of Saga’s head and said, “I understand. It’s only natural for you to feel I am to blamed.”

Tora did understand, he had only begun to realise just how much damage _he_ had done to Saga when he first heard about the school’s authority was very likely to remove the blonde from their school due to his pregnancy. Therefore, he understood how Saga felt and thought it was natural for the blonde to blame him, intentionally or not.

Saga looked up at his husband, “B-but—”

Tora replied, still using his palm to stroke Saga’s hair, “I have already told you, it isn’t fair for you to have to shoulder all the responsibility.”

“I didn’t mean it...I don’t think you’re making things worse, Tora.”

“But I’m just not very helpful either, right?” Tora tried to shrug it off as though Saga’s outburst didn’t affect him, but he couldn’t keep the sadness away from his voice, “I can’t help you in the things that matter the most to you. I should be stronger than that, but I simply can’t.”

“It’s not like that...” Saga shook his head, being caught by conflicting emotions which he couldn’t pinpoint. He indeed was feeling sorry for himself right now, but on the other hand he didn’t want to see Tora being so upset. It was just...complicated. 

His eyes started to water.

“Shhh...please don’t cry, Saga.”

“But I’m….”

The raven head sat back down on the bench, pulling Saga into his embrace and that was when the blonde broke into sobs.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry, Tora…”

“It’s okay, really….Everything’s—” Tora’s voice wavered, “—everything’s gonna be alright.”

Saga fisted the front of Tora’s uniform, soaking his tears into the fabric. He felt the older teen’s palm on his back, moving up and down simultaneously in a comforting manner. It was either out of guilt or something else, but Saga didn’t want Tora to let go of him. Not yet. In the depth of his heart, the blonde realised Tora was the only one he most needed at the moment, despite how he almost pushed the older teen away earlier.

~*~

Shou had been keeping an eye on Tora the moment the coach of football team started their practice, but told the raven head to stay behind instead. As far as he recalled, Tora was the captain, but why did the coach put him on cleaning duty today?

His baseball team was taking a break and the blonde felt the need to talk to Tora and ask him what the hell was going on. However, he quickly dismissed the idea. They were never in a good term in the first place. Surely, Tora would think weird of him if he just suddenly came up to him and demanded an explanation. Therefore, he joined the rest of his team instead.

A member was passing him a towel when he caught sight of another familiar blonde at the entrance of the school’s field. He couldn’t help it when his heart beat faster in anticipation as he saw Saga entering the field. Like him, Saga was a member of baseball team. Although due to his pregnancy, the blonde had had to skip practices. Shou wondered what brought Saga here. Did he want to meet his former team? He had been absent, after all.

The little hope that had sparkled in the taller blonde’s eyes faded when he saw Saga approaching a certain dark-haired teen instead. Shou gritted his teeth, “Of course…” but he continued eyeing the two of them from afar nonetheless.

Shou averted his gaze away as the boy he loved displayed an affection towards Tora. The two of them were now sitting on a stone bench under a big tree on the side of the field, with Saga dapping his handkerchief onto the raven head’s face. Although it didn’t take long for Shou to look back at them again, driven by his curiosity. It seemed like they were having a serious talk; and it surprised him when all of a sudden, Tora rose up from the bench, looking angry.

“...The hell…?” muttered Shou quietly, not wanting his team to overhear him.

What happened next angered Shou. Saga cried...after whatever argument they were having. The taller blonde teen’s hands balled up into fists. It didn’t help that Tora was now comforting Saga in his embrace. What Shou knew was, the raven head had made Saga cry and that just meant one thing to the blonde: Tora had broken his deal with him.

After practices were over, Shou would sure as hell talk to the raven head.

***

When the football practice was over, Saga went home with Tora together. Like he had said, Nao had been waiting for them in his car and Tora was holding the car door open for Saga when they heard a voice calling out to the raven head’s name. The three of them looked at the source of the voice. It was Shou. The said student was approaching them. Tora stepped forward to him, “Kohara, what do _you_ want?”

“Tora,” warned Saga before the raven head could do anything stupid.

“I want to talk to you, Amano,” replied Shou, unable to hide his anger.

Noticing this, Saga stepped in-between them, “No, _I_ want to talk to you, Shou.”

Tora and Shou both looked surprised. Saga looked at Tora again and reached out his hand to touch the raven’s head fingers, “Please...will you wait?”

On behalf of Tora, Nao answered from the driver’s seat, “Yes, we will, Saga. You may talk to your friend now.”

“Thanks, Nao.”

After that, Saga motioned to Shou to follow him back to the school’s front gate. They only needed to move far enough for anyone not to eavesdrop them. Although both of them were aware of the raven head’s intense gaze on them. Shou was glaring at Tora too, and Saga had to call him twice to make the other pay attention to him.

“What has gotten in to you? You guys didn’t fight today, did you?” asked Saga once Shou finally paid attention to him.  
“I should be the one asking you,” replied Shou.  
“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Shou.”  
“I saw it. I saw everything. He made you cry. Don’t deny it, Saga.”  
“You misunderstood things.”

Shou snorted, repeating Saga’s words in a mocking tone, “ _I_ misunderstood things?”

“Yes,” stated the shorter blonde firmly, “It’s not like what you saw.”  
“Why are you defending him? What has he done to make you—”  
“I’m leaving this school, Shou.”  
“Wait, what? Why?” Shou’s expression had changed to worry by now.  
“Because of my pregnancy,” for some reason, it was difficult for Saga to explain it all over again.  
“Did...did the school’s authorities made you leave?”

Saga nodded weakly in response. Shou’s silent reaction only pushed him onto the verge of tears again, but he held them back.

“Is there...anything I can do to help?” the taller teen offered, already knowing the answer.  
“No...I just...wanted to…” Saga sniffed, but then he looked at up Shou with a smile on his face, “Thank you for being my best friend in all these years, Shou.”  
“It’s not like we’re not going to see each other anymore…..right?”  
“Of course we can still see each other. I just wanted to thank you.”

Shou heaved a sigh, “So, you cried because of this and Tora was only comforting you?”

“Yes,” was all Saga said, half-relieved that Shou was taking the news of his removal better than Tora did.

They were silent for a brief moment, until Shou spoke up again, “I got your wedding invitation.”

When Saga didn’t say anything, the taller teen continued, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be present.”

Shou decided Saga didn’t need to know that he actually went that day. He hoped that the small boy—namely Hiroto, didn’t tell Tora either.

“It’s alright, Shou. I understand.”  
“Tell me one thing, Saga.”

The shorter blonde stared into Shou’s eyes, waiting for a question.

“...Do you love him? I mean _now_.”

Saga bit his lower lip, and Shou was worried the shorter teen would be mad at him for asking something personal. It reminded him once again of their meeting on the riverbank.

“I...need to know,” added Shou, voicing out his thought.

The blonde took a glance at Tora who was still waiting outside of Nao’s car for him. Shou’s question had wakened up a realisation inside him, and as he subconsciously put his hand on top of his tummy, he shifted his gaze back to Shou and answered, “Maybe...I do.”

Shou lowered his head in defeat. Saga himself had confirmed it. What chance did he have now? It took courages for him to overcome his disappointment, although he had prepared himself for the blow this time. He closed his eyes for a moment, hearing Saga ask, “Are you okay?” and then opened them again afterwards, releasing a deep sigh.

“So that’s it.”  
“Shou…”  
“Just—”  
“Yeah?”  
“Just let me know the next time he makes you cry. I’ll kick his ass.”

Saga laughed. Then, he realised how long it had been since Shou had made him laugh like this. In a way, he was happy that the two of them could save their friendship. Shou offered his hand to Saga and the shorter teen took it.

“Friends?”

With a smile, Saga repeated the word, “Friends.”

At the sight of Saga and Shou shaking hands, Tora got into the car and sat on the back seats, leaving the door open. He tried not to think about how his rival had made his husband laugh earlier, clear for him to behold. Although he had a fair idea that the two might have only settled their friendship problem, it still didn’t make the raven head forget that Shou had feelings for Saga.

“I’ve got to go, Shou,” said Saga again after a while.

“Sure. Be safe.”

“I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.”

Shou watched Saga’s departing figure in silence. He got into the car and sat beside Tora on the back seats. Not long after, Nao started the engine and the car moved, leaving the school area.

to be continued.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora’s gaze wandered from his phone and then to Saga, although the raven head never prided himself on reading other people’s thoughts; this time he was almost sure he knew what was in the younger teen’s mind.

** Chapter 39 **

 

They made the trip back, but during the whole trip, Tora and Saga sat in total silence. Even Nao could feel the tensed atmosphere around them. It did make him a bit nervous whilst driving his car, but then he heard a buzz of someone’s mobile phone. From the rear view mirror, Nao caught sight of his tall brother checking up on his iPhone. Beside the raven head, Saga couldn’t help but steal a glance as well.

Tora got a text message from his buddy, Hiroto. The content was full of exclamation marks, letters in caps lock, and shocked emoji that almost made Tora snort in amusement, until he actually read the question: _“I heard rumours today! You’re not the captain anymore! WHAT DID YOU DO?!”_

The raven head was about to type in his reply when his ringtone was playing loudly, it nearly startled him. He slid the answer button to the right to answer the call, which was from Hiroto himself. Before he could even say ‘hello’, the brunette’s loud voice was already echoed inside the car. It was just so loud, Saga thought Tora had accidentally put the call on loudspeaker, which the taller teen actually didn’t.

However, before Hiroto could start bombarding Tora with his questions, the raven head had already interjected him, “Not now, Hiroto.”

Saga could hear the brunette’s protest, but Tora added, “Dude, I said, not now. I’ll text you later, ‘kay?”

Tora didn’t even wait for Hiroto to reply, as he immediately ended the call and shoved the device inside his trousers pocket again. He sighed, and once again, his gaze was directed outside the car window. His right hand rested on the car door, propping his chin up. Never once did he expect Saga to talk to him afterwards, “Was it Hiroto? What’s with him?”

Saga sounded hesitant to utter those questions to him, it made the older teen turn his head to the blonde.

“Nothing,” seeing the frown on his younger husband’s forehead, Tora knew that Saga was not happy hearing his short reply, so he added: “It’s nothing important. Don’t worry.”

Shrugging, Saga shifted his eyes away from Tora and muttered quietly, “Okay.”

In any other occasion, the raven head would have done something— _anything_ —to put that frown away, just so Saga would not be upset anymore. But right now, his mind was full of a more important thought.

His concentration was distracted when Nao turned on the radio to get them all relaxed. The older male kept switching the radio frequency and stopped only when he heard a classical music playing, and then he left it at that. Tora stared at the back of his big brother’s head. _Maybe_ , he thought, _Nao could help._

~*~

The three of them arrived at home at last. Still, Tora and Saga hadn’t talked to each other again after that short conversation they had in the car. The blonde wasn’t paying attention even when the car entered the gate of Amano residence. Nao dropped them at the veranda whilst he himself proceeded to park the car in the garage. 

Saga was waiting for Tora to get inside the house together with him, but the raven head didn’t seem like he was acknowledging the blonde’s presence in the first place. It wasn’t his fault, though, that he didn’t know about his older husband’s mind being placed elsewhere at the moment. Saga’s head lowered, his gaze was glued on his shoes, which made him unaware that Tora stole a glance at him.

He really wanted to...help Saga. The raven-haired knew how much his education meant to Saga, he also knew how much of a blow being dropped out was to the blond; he was also painfully aware of how much at fault he really was in the consequence of Saga being dropped out.

Therefore, he wanted to make amend to his younger husband, starting from now. He truly wanted to help him in a meaningful way. 

With these thoughts in his mind, Tora hurried away to find the one he believed could help him: his older brother Nao. He was in so much hurry that he even forgot to say anything to Saga before he left.

Saga watched his husband walking away from him without a word, he watched until the older one disappearing at the end of the hallway. Not once did Tora turn back nor do anything to acknowledge his existence. That upset him. 

Was he...avoiding him now? Maybe Tora was still mad over his outburst in the schoolyard.

Saga wanted to go after his husband, but in the next second, he remembered first he needed to talk to his uncle and aunt about the outcome of their meeting with the school’s authority. 

***

Nao had gone back to his own room after he went with Saga to his parents and informed them about the school’s authority decision. His thoughts were still lingering on the brief meeting amongst them. Both his parents were upset by the news, though they tried to act positive in front of Saga but the atmosphere was still heavy. For the whole while, Saga had his head downcast, he kept apologising to his uncle and aunt for causing them so much troubles. The blonde’s mood didn’t seem to change even after both his guardians ensured him there was nothing to apologise about. 

Nao watched all the exchanges between them with sympathy, he didn’t think it was fair for Saga to take all the responsibility, what should they do to help him…?

He was surprised to see his younger brother standing before his bedroom’s door, waiting for him.

“Nao, may I ask you something?” 

“Yes,” Nao answered when he opened his door.

“It’s about Saga...” Tora began hesitatingly, “I know how upset he is about being dropped out, but can we help him to find another school? School that would accept students like him?”

This was what had been in Nao’s mind, but he was a bit surprised that Tora had come up and asked so quickly.

Tora had heard that there were schools which accepted students who were pregnant or with babies under their care.

He wanted to help Saga, but he knew it wasn’t likely that he could do it alone, he needed someone to help as well; and Nao was the first one he could think of.

Delighted by the consideration his younger brother had demoracted, Nao was more than happy to help. He promised to call a few friends, who might offer some information. On the other hand, Tora decided to stay in the study and do some research online.

 

***

After finished telling his uncle and aunt about the result of their ill-fated meeting with the school’s authority, Saga wandered off to clean his mind. 

At first he had thought of going back to his old bedroom to clean his mind, but when he reached to the door, he didn’t feel like getting in anymore. Something had stopped him. It took him a moment to realize he didn’t have the heart to get in because he wanted to look for Tora instead of sitting in his old room and spent time feeling sorry for himself. 

Strange how it has become an impulsive need for him to look for Tora when he was upset, back then when he was troubled he would usually find his comfort and support in Shou and Nao; but recently something had changed, now the first person he could think of was Tora. He wanted to see the raven haired teen, although he still didn’t have a single idea about what he would say after he saw his husband. 

Although he couldn’t rationalize his own change of heart, still...at this moment, looking for Tora felt _right_ to him.

Eventually, he found Tora in the study, sitting in front of a laptop, with stack of papers spreading around said laptop.

He approached the older boy quietly, only addressing the latter after he walked closer. “Hey.”

Tora looked up from the laptop’s screen, he seemed to be a bit caught off guard. “Hi.”

“What’re you doing?” Saga couldn’t hold back his curiosity.

“I’m looking for...something,” Tora found himself reluctant to tell the blonde what exactly he was up to. So far, he had yet to track down anything of importance. Therefore, the raven-haired teen did not want to get Saga’s hope up for nothing.

Not knowing what else to say, Saga stood there feeling awkward; there was something he should have said to his husband, but he didn’’t even know where to begin. 

Before he could say anything, Tora’s iPhone started beeping all of a sudden.

Both looked down at the device lying in the middle of the desk, a name flashed brightly across the screen; both of them had recognised the name of the caller at the same time.

The caller was Keiko.

Saga kept eyeing the iPhone as though it was some alien object, he had half expected his husband to grip his phone and answer Keiko’s call eagerly—the same like he had seen the older one did when he received messages from the girl. But one second, two second and then three past, the raven head still hadn’t even touched the beeping iPhone.

Tora’s gaze wandered from his phone and then to Saga, although the raven head never prided himself on reading other people’s thoughts; this time he was almost sure he knew what was in the younger teen’s mind.

Sighing softly, he called his husband’s name, “Saga,”

It finally gave him Saga’s full attention. Finally, the blonde teared his eyes from the still ringing iPhone and averted them towards Tora. The blonde looked confused, as though he didn’t know what to expect now.

Tora shook his head, “Just leave it.”

“But—”

They stared at each other whilst the phone kept ringing, until the ringing stopped eventually. After that, there was only silence. Tora was still staring at Saga, making the younger teen feel even more awkward. At last, the blonde waved in uncertainty, “Maybe I should go back to—”

“Wait,” the raven-haired teen caught Saga’s wrist before the blonde could manage to leave, “Here, have a seat.”

Tora motioned to the empty chair beside him, which Saga occupied soon after. The older teen turned his chair to Saga and the blonde did the same, so they were now face-to-face. His younger husband gripped the edges of the chair, head lowered; like a child about to get lectured. The blonde himself wasn’t even sure why he behaved like that, though. He must admit, the seriousness in Tora’s tone made him nervous.

“Saga, do you have something you want to talk with me?” Tora asked calmly.

However, the question caught the blonde off guard. It didn’t sound like a question to him; it sounded more like a statement. As if the raven head knew that Saga did have something he wanted to talk with him. Remembering the sole reason why he had been feeling some sort of jealousy towards his husband’s past girlfriend made him feel foolish and…...childish.

“There’s nothing between me and her now. Trust me,” said Tora again when Saga didn’t show any sign that he was going to answer the raven head’s question.

The blonde’s head lifted up, looking somewhat surprised at what he had just heard. They both knew who was this ‘her’ referred to. At this moment, Tora was almost feeling relieved that he had finally dragged the subject out in the open. Ever since yesterday, he had sensed something was off with Saga. At the back of his head, he had a vague suspicion that he knew what—or more particularly _who_ —had caused the blonde’s weird mood. Now seeing Saga’s reaction, the raven head was confident that he had guessed correctly. 

Saga was once again caught off guard, a sense of relief washed over him—as much as he wanted to deny this feeling, still it would be lying to say he didn’t feel the small sparkle of joy flashing through him when he heard Tora uttering those words: _There’s nothing between me and her now._

Still, his feeling at the moment was rather complicated. At one hand he felt relieved, even happy; but on the other hand, he felt somewhat guilty, as though he shouldn’t feel happy over such thing…

He really didn’t know what had possessed him to make him say what he was going to say next, “Make me then.”

Tora tensed, and Saga almost regretted he had said that to him. Just how foolish could he become? Now the raven head could use that chance to embarrass the hell out of him. But then he took his glasses off—which Saga had just noticed that his husband looked good wearing them—and put them on the desk. The raven head slowly reached out for Saga’s hand and rested them on his chest, as he rose up from his chair a bit and leant forward towards the blonde.

“To-Tora...wh—?”

Saga felt Tora’s soft lips on his forehead, and when he looked up, the older teen’s mouth fell upon his, which was slightly open. As soon as it happened, the blonde felt warmth surge throughout his entire body, and he closed his eyes. His hand that was previously pressed on Tora’s chest now moved up and encircled itself around the raven head’s shoulder.

Biting Saga’s lower lip as gently as he could manage, Tora wrapped his arm around the blonde’s hips and moved him forward. He sat back down on his own chair, carefully manoeuvring his younger husband to straddle his thighs. The blonde took a deep breath once he was fully seated on Tora’s lap, breaking the kiss in the process. Their foreheads were pressed together and their lips were merely an inch apart. When Saga whispered his husband’s name, the raven head could feel his warm breath. And before neither of them could pause and wonder what they were doing, they were making out.

Tora caught Saga’s lips again for a good few seconds, before he released them and placed hot kisses on the blonde’s neck. His hand squeezed his husband’s hips, whilst Saga’s soft moans beside his ear began to arouse him. Saga’s breaths hitched in surprise as the raven head pressed their lower halves even closer; his face flushed hotly when he felt the bulge in Tora’s jeans against his crotch. Grasping the older teen’s hair in his fingers, Saga kissed Tora’s jaw, the corner of his lips, before he finally claimed that mouth again with his. He sighed into the warm cavern, feeling as if his body was on fire as his raven-haired husband started guiding his hips to grind against him.

However, Saga gripped Tora’s hair tighter and pulled them apart; although a string of saliva still connected their now parted mouths. The raven head blinked a couple of times as a realisation dawned upon him that they had almost gone too far. Not wanting his older husband to get the wrong idea, Saga caressed Tora’s cheek.

“What does it make us now?” Saga asked breathlessly.

Tora was about to answer when the door to the study was busted open by no other than Nao.

The couple in the study jumped away from each other as quickly as they could.

Nao turned his face away with a groan, “You kids, you know it’s not okay to do the nasty in a place where everyone can walk in? What would happen if _our parents_ see you?”

At Nao’s words, Saga flushed even more brightly than before.

“Nao, you could’ve knocked,” said Tora, subconsciously messing up his already ruffled hair. There was a hint of redness on his face.

“I actually did knock. You guys just didn’t hear,” his big brother rolled his eyes.

Muttering something incoherent, Tora took Saga’s hand and they escaped from the study. Saga couldn’t look at his older cousin in the eyes as they walked past him at the doorway. As the two teenagers walked hand-in-hand on the hallway, probably heading to their shared room, Nao crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back onto the hinge.

“Newlyweds,” Nao commented, but he could hardly hide the mischievous smile at the corners of his lips.

To be continued.


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m happy,” Saga answered honestly. _You just don’t know how happy I am because of this._

** Chapter 40 **

 

The young couple had fled from the study, faces flushing red. It was just very embarrassing that Nao happened to accidentally witness their private moment together. Tora walked ahead—his hand linked with Saga’s—in a fast pace, he almost dragged the blonde. Saga had to call the raven head’s name twice in order to make the taller teen stop.

Tora spun around all of a sudden, Saga nearly bumped into his chest. Thankfully, Tora kept him balanced by holding his upper arms and gently led him to lean against the wall.

“I’m sorry. Did I make you run?”

The knots on the taller boy’s forehead told Saga that his older husband didn’t stop walking because he heard the blonde call his name. Instead, because Tora was suddenly aware of the fact that he had practically made Saga walk faster than he should. Funny how the blonde had begun to understand his husband more now.

Lips forming a smile, Saga shook his head a bit, “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Really?” asked the raven head, sounding less worried now.  
“Y-yeah.”

It was just unfortunate that their position right now suggested embarrassing thoughts to the blonde’s mind. He found himself stuttering and unable to stare into his husband’s eyes. It didn’t help that the raven head then pressed his palm on the wall beside Saga’s head for support.

“Did Nao…?” Saga put his hand on Tora’s chest by instinct and he mentally scolded himself for that because just why would he feel the need to have a physical contact with his husband now, of all times? The blonde’s head lowered more on its own accord.  
“Yes…?” baited Tora.  
“...Did Nao come to tell you something or…?”  
“Ah!”

Tora slapped his forehead.

“I was waiting for Nao to give me some information.”  
“Information? What do you mean? Information of what?”

Tora knew he should tell Saga sooner or later, but he needed to see Nao first. He couldn’t be certain yet that his big brother would tell him good news. Therefore, he couldn’t tell his younger husband yet. However, reading the blonde’s facial expression, the raven head knew that Saga demanded an explanation from him.

“I’ll tell you later. I must go see Nao now. Why don’t you go back to our room and get some rest? You must be tired.”

As much as Saga wanted to protest, Tora had sounded so concerned, he didn’t have the heart to say no. With a nod, Saga gave Tora his approval to see Nao who was probably still in the study, waiting for his little brother.

“Good. I’ll see you soon,” said Tora with a smile of relief.

Before the raven head could leave, though, the blonde had called out to him.

“Yes?”  
“Don’t forget that you promised Hiroto-kun that you’d text him.”  
“Ah right. Thank you for reminding me.”

Saga smiled at his husband, staring at his broad back as the taller boy returned to the study. He turned on his heel and headed to his and Tora’s bedroom, feeling as though the burden on his shoulders had somewhat lessened. He made a mental note that talking to his husband did help him feel much better.

***

Before he returned to the study, Tora paused to fish out his iPhone to text his best buddy. He leant onto the railing made of fine wood as he opened the messaging app, but then he decided just to make a phone call. A few seconds later, his best friend had picked up the phone almost instantly.

“ _Tooooorrrraaaa!! What have you done! I heard rumor about you being removed from your position as captain!_ ”

“This time, the rumors are true,” Tora replied, sighing.

“ _Oh, I’m sorry,_ ” Hiroto actually sounded a bit upset.

“I’m okay,” he really wasn’t as okay as he claimed, but it wasn’t necessary to alarm his friend, “It’s not the end of the world, right?”

“ _Yeah, but…...that position meant so much to you…...and to your team as well. Did they forget how many times you’ve led them to victory after victory in all this time? Did the coach even consider it?_ ”

Tora was silent. Recalling how some people in the football team had seemed okay regarding his removal almost made him doubt they had even been thankful towards him when he was still the captain. A few might have had acknowledged his leadership quality. Still, it didn’t make any difference now that Hiroto had brought the topic up.

“ _...Tora?_ ” called Hiroto from the other line.

“Yes. Sorry, I was distracted for a moment,” the raven head shifted from one foot to another, “What did you say again?”

The brunette repeated his questions and Tora merely nodded upon hearing Hiroto’s words.

“I...honestly don’t know, Hiroto. I don’t know what my former teammates felt about my removal, nor do I know about what the coach thought when making the decision to remove me. I guess it just doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done, right?”

“ _I still think it’s unfair to you! What have you even done? Well okay, I heard that you took part-time job. Is that true? Dude, you know it’s against the school rules! Why have you even done it? Why not tell me either? Did you need money or—_ ”

“Yes. Yes, I needed money, Hiroto. Will you stop rambling?” Tora chuckled. He could even swear his best friend was pouting now.

“ _You could’ve told me, idiot!_ ”

“Well, I…” Tora heaved a sigh, “I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

“ _Explain why!_ ” Demanded the other youth.

“It’s…” the raven head felt his face heat up from embarrassment thinking about what he was going to confess to his buddy, “...you knew why.”

At first Hiroto could only respond with a simple ‘huh?’, but then he exclaimed with a very long ‘oh’ that made Tora snort in amusement.

“ _It’s_ The Ring _!_ ”

“Yeah. But not that certain horror movie,” joked Tora.

“ _I know,_ baka,” Hiroto tsked, “ _But anyway, so it’s all about him? I mean, you took the risks for Saga-kun after all._ ”

Tora nodded, and then he remembered Hiroto couldn’t see him, “Yeah. But I...somehow I don’t feel any regret. Well to be honest, I was a bit disappointed in the decision the coach has made. But everything happened for a reason. Right? So I guess I’ll just focus on what’s more important to me now. To him as well,” Tora ended his explanation with a sigh.

“ _.........Tora…...I love you,_ ” said Hiroto all of a sudden, sniffling.

“Whoa, dude. Seriously!” Tora couldn’t help but laugh.

“ _You jerk! You’ve really grown up, you know that? Saga-kun is so lucky to have you! And I’m...I’m just happy that my best friend has changed for the better!_ ”

“Are you saying I was bad?” The raven raised an eyebrow.

“ _You know that’s not what I meant, stupid!_ ” Scolded Hiroto.

“I know, I know~” Tora laughed again, “But Hiroto...thank you so much for listening to me.”

“ _No, I should thank you for confiding in me,_ ” said the brunette quickly.

“Yeah...But hey, I must see my brother now. We’ll talk again next time, okay? Goodbye, Hiroto!”

“ _Bye, Tora!_ ”

After ending the phone call with Hiroto, Tora realised one thing: being the captain of the team was important to him; but strangely enough, the loss of the position just wasn’t as devastating to him as when he first heard of the coach’s decision. Not when he had other concerns in his mind.

***

The summer holiday had officially been started. Tora continued to go back to school for practice. Although the coach now allowed him to join the practice alongside his teammates, he was still made to do extra duties. It was no easy task to keep up with the team whilst working on those extra duties. Still, Tora knew he had no choice but to carry on. He knew he must give his best performance in order to proof he was a worthy member of their team. It was not an easy to work your way back up as an underdog.

Meanwhile, Saga was not doing so much better, either. Physically, he was feeling stronger as he recovered from the sickness of early pregnancy; but, being dropped out of school affected him greatly. His heart was still filled with worry and guilt. 

What if he wasn’t able to go back to school and continue to study after that? What would he become then? What if he couldn’t be able to support himself and the baby in the future?

He tried to look for information about schools but from time to time. He also found his concentration drifting away. So far, he had hardly found anything useful. For a few times, he had thought of discussing his issues with Tora. However, something always held him back in the last second. Despite their newfound closeness, the blonde was still hesitating to seek help from his husband. Though deep down, he hoped Tora would help him. Still, he was afraid to ask. This new change in their relationship……it was still too early to tell where it would take them.

Soon, night had fallen and everyone would be expected to show up in time for dinner. Saga was making his way downstairs when he saw Tora running up the stairs. When the older boy looked up and saw his younger husband there, Tora grinned cheerfully.

“What’s the matter? You look very happy,” Saga couldn’t hold his curiosity back.

“Good news!” Tora exclaimed, “Nao and I, we found a school which has agreed to give you an interview!”

Saga almost couldn’t believe his own ears. Was Tora meaning what he thought he meant?

“You mean...I can apply for this school? They would accept my application?”

The older boy nodded.

“But...what about my… _condition_?”

Tora couldn’t help smiling, “You can tell them the truth, the school has a policy of toleration when it comes to students being pregnant.”

Saga didn’t know what to say. It sounded too good to be true.

“Well, they clearly don’t _encourage_ their students to engage in underage sex and get knocked up, ” Tora chuckled slightly, “But when it happens, they choose to be more open-minded about it and be supportive towards students who happen to get pregnant or have babies to take care of.”

“That’s so great!” A school which was run by headmaster and teachers who were supportive to students who found themselves pregnant. What more could Saga ask for?

“But, we still need to get the application documents ready and you still have to get through the interview,” Tora reminded him.

“It’s okay,” ever since the meeting with the school’s authority, the blonde was smiling again; a true smile, “I will work hard. All I want is only an opportunity. So... _thank you_ , Tora,” Saga took a step forward and pulled the taller boy into a hug. 

Tora’s heart leaped with joy; but outwardly, he tried to play it cool, “You have Nao to thank. He has looked up and down to locate suitable schools and information too.”

“But you have helped, right? You have done it for me…...”

“I’d gladly do that,” Tora replied, without thinking twice, “...as long as you would be happy again.”

“I’m happy,” Saga answered honestly. _You just don’t know how happy I am because of this._

***

In the same evening, the members of Amano family were sitting around the table to enjoy their meal. The family went through it just as usual, but then Nao came up with an announcement in the middle of the dinner.

“Hey everyone, I have something to tell you! I got tickets for a holiday trip!” With a big grin, Nao announced as he fished two sets of tickets out and brought them to the table, “I would like to offer these to our parents as a present."

Everyone’s eyes widened at the sudden announcement.

“Father, would you like to go on vacation with Mother at the end of this month? It’s just a in-country trip, nothing too fancy or long distant. So, you two can have an easy, relaxing time—”

“That’s very sweet of you, Nao. But we already have other plan,” Mrs. Amano explained.

This took everyone, expected Mr. Amano, by surprise.

“Your father has recovered greatly, and the doctor said that he would eventually be fit enough to go back to work again. But before that, we have planned to go on a trip to celebrate his recovery.”

“So, you don’t need the tickets...” Nao replied, he was happy for his parents, especially for his father’s recovery; but now after his mother’s revealing their own plan, he couldn’t think of what to do with the already bought and paid for tickets.

However, Nao quickly turned his attention to his younger brother and cousin, “What about you two? You’re in summer holiday, right? So would you take Saga for the trip, little brother?”

“That’s a good idea, Nao,” Mrs. Amano exclaimed at once, before neither Saga and Tora could reply.

Tora gave it a thought, the two of them were in fact having summer holiday. Plus, the practice section of the football team would take a one-week break in the middle of the summer holiday. Nao had mentioned that his tickets were for in-country trip. Therefore, it couldn’t be too different from a school trip. It couldn’t be difficult nor risky…right?

“It’s fine with me, as long as Saga is also ready to go.”

“Wait,” Saga asked doubtfully, “Am I supposed to travel at all?” 

Although his physical condition had improved, still the possibility of carsickness and seasickness, making travel by cars, ships, airplanes sounded far less than appealing at the moment.

“That’s right. I’ve heard that a pregnant person shouldn’t do too much traveling,” now even Tora became sceptical.

“Haven’t you two read any instruction or guide book for pregnant people _at all_?” Mrs. Amano sounded highly amused. 

Tora was speechless, it was clear that he barely read any of such guide book carefully. On the other hand, Saga did read quite a number of them, still he couldn’t recall any of those instructions mentioning anything about travel.

Mrs. Amano shook her head, watching her younger son and nephew with amusement. Young people, they still had so much to learn!

***

After dinner, Mrs. Amano had the two boys seated down in the living room, and then she shoved a pregnancy guide book towards them. The book was opened to reveal an article with the following title: _Pregnancy is not an illness, it shouldn’t keep you from engaging in normal activities_

According to the article, pregnancy is one of the normal states of a person. As long as a pregnant person didn’t do anything particularly risky nor reckless, he or she could carry on many activities, which were traditionally viewed as ‘unnecessary’ for pregnant people. 

It looked like traveling was being considered as part of the normal activities, which a pregnant person could manage. 

“So Saga, what do you think?" 

“If it wouldn't be too much trouble, then I am okay,” Saga answered, although he still sounded a bit uncertain.

“Then, you take your time to think about it."

With that, Mrs. Amano left the living room, leaving the two teenagers by themselves.

 

There were still so many questions in Saga’s mind: They were in fact still underage, so was it really be okay for them to travel by themselves? How about medical care? If they were to travel, they probably would also need to bring his medical records along, just in case they needed to contact doctors of the local area……There were so many things to manage!

“But you’re talking like we are really going to this trip...” Saga whispered.

“Why not? It’s a chance for you to relax.”

To Tora, it was better than brooding in his parents’ house for the entire summer. He would like to convince Saga about that, too; but his younger husband still seemed hesitant. Saga put his hands on his knees as he leant back onto the sofa. His eyes were focused on the ceramic floor. He seemed to be thinking. Then, Tora heard him mutter something.

“...I’d love to go.”

“I’m sorry?” the raven head shifted closer to Saga.

“If...if it’s with you, I...I think it’ll be okay,” the blonde shifted his gaze to his older husband, “So, yes...I would love to go on this trip with you.”

In a moment, Tora looked relieved and happy. He gathered Saga’s hands in his and smiled assuringly at him.

_It would turn out okay._

To be continued.

PS: In Japan, 21 years old is considered adult age.


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They will be fine,” Nao reasoned, “Tora will look after Saga, right? In fact, they’ll look after each other. _Isn’t it what marriage is for?_ ”

** Chapter 41 **

 

Five days after they had the conversation with Nao and the Amanos, Tora and Saga were on their way to go to a train, heading for their trip to Chichibu, Saitama. The two teenagers had decided to travel with just small backpacks and two light suitcases. The Amanos and Nao had gone to the train station to see them off.

By the time their train was about to arrive at the station, the entire family had decided to move up to the platform together. Like many other people who went to the station to see their families or friends off to their own journeys, members of Amano family also thought it would be best to see the two boys off on the platform, to make sure that the two of them got on the train safe and sound.

“Happy Honeymoon!” Nao said cheerfully to the newlyweds.  
“It is not—” Tora argued tiredly.  
“Don’t be shy!” Ignoring his younger brother’s weak protest, Nao continued to grin brightly as he waved at the pair, “Enjoy yourselves!”

Once again, they together were on a train; but this time, they were going to travel beyond the city limit. Their family was expecting them to go home three days later. It would be the first time they spent so much time with only each other as a...pair, far away from other family members and friends.

Soon, they were on board, and the train left the station just in time. Once the train left the city behind, it started to travel smoothly through different countryside landscapes. Their train had kept a steady speed as it travelled smoothly forward. For that, Saga was thankful; at least, he didn’t have to worry about the possibility of carsickness anymore.

There weren’t many other passengers in the same carriage, so the two teenagers now sat side by side in a half empty carriage. 

On train, people usually would chat with their travel companions, right? But in Tora and Saga’s case, they didn’t seem to know what to say once they put their backpacks to the shelf and made themselves comfortable on their seats. 

Somewhere at the back of the carriage, Saga could hear some other passenger chatting quietly with his friends. Then for a while, the blonde listened to those other passengers giggling amongst themselves in a low volume. He wished he could think of something to chat with Tora as well, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

Eventually, Saga picked up a tour guide and started reading in order to distract himself, although he found himself drifting out of focus from time to time. When he looked up from the pages, he found Tora looking at him.

“Are you thinking about where to go after we arrive?” 

It wasn’t exactly what Saga had in mind, but he nodded anyway.

The raven head asked further, in a casual tone, “Found any place you want to visit yet?”

The blonde shook his head, “For this vacation, I don’t think I need to go from one tourist attraction to another. I’m fine with just spending time in the nearby area. But if you have any place in mind......”

In the end, his sentence traced off into nothingness, for Saga wasn’t so sure what he should suggest. He wanted to tell Tora he would be okay visiting where _Tora_ wanted to visit as well, but the words just couldn’t come out right.

Tora watched the blonde trying to find words, but couldn’t quite able to finish his own sentence. That brought a small smile on his handsome face. So, he reached out to give Saga’s hand a little squeeze, “We’ll see.” 

“Okay…” After this small conversation with his husband, Saga felt more relaxed by now.

An hour later, they arrived at their destination. In fact, both of them felt the trip had ended sooner than neither of them had expected. 

They left the station and took a short walk to the Chichibu’s town centre in order to get a bus ride, which could take them from town to the hills, so they could finally reach the cottage arranged by Nao. They ate a light meal near the bus station by noon before going to catch the bus. They had small talks now and then when they ate. In between those small talks, silence would hover above them whenever their conservation traced off; but this time, the silence in between was neither tensed nor uncomfortable. Instead, it felt more...natural and calming for them to be simply together like this. This time, there was no more fight, disagreement or pretending. This time, it was only the two of them, together.

After they left the small restaurant, the pair headed towards the bus station nearby. They waited with other passengers until the bus arrived. They also managed to find their seats in the middle row of the bus before it left the station and slowly made its ways uphill. Now, they were going to the location Nao had given them. They knew once arrived, they were supposed to stay in a cottage at the outskirt of this town. 

Neither of them had been to this region before. The scenery along the uphill road was great, but Saga didn’t have the mind to appreciate it. After all, he still had carsickness to worry about. 

Fortunately, the bus came to a stop at the station they were supposed to stop by. So, the pair left the bus and started the final leg of their journey on foot. Together, they went along a lane, which would take them to the destination. 

“Are you alright?” Once leaving the bus station behind, Tora found Saga to look quite green in colour.

“I am okay,” Saga replied as casually as he could.

He wanted to smile in order to reassure his husband, but the smile turned out weary and a little forced. He had thought he had become stronger, but the bus trip still worn him down a bit.

Here was the moment of truth. They had no idea what Nao had prepared for them. Finally, there were almost there.

The hills spread before them. Along the road, there were plenty of small, cottage-liked houses with creamy white walls and brick-red roofs; trees covering the entire hill like a green thick carpet and lining up along the roads. The layers of tree were so thick that the pair didn’t have to bear the heat sunlight beating down their backs as they walked slowly uphill.

Finally, they found the cottage with the correct door number.

“Here it’s,” Tora announced, taking in the sight of the little house that would be their home for the upcoming four days.

The building itself was nothing too grand nor showy, but the cottage gave out a cosy and homely feeling. Just like what people would imagine for their dream house up the hill.

“Let’s get inside, shall we?” Tora suggested gently, jolting Saga out of his train of thoughts.

The blond-haired teen reacted by fishing a set of keys from his bag and then handed it to Tora. In turn, Tora walked up to the front gate and used one of the keys to unlock it. Once the gate was opened, the pair started walking down the lane leading towards the cottage, all the way to the front door.

At first, they couldn’t see much of the interior of the cottage before the light was switched on. Then, they got a good look at their surroundings. Both of them were impressed by what they saw.

The walls and ceiling were painted in a warm light yellow colour whilst the floor was covered by fine wooden flooring. They also noticed that not only every piece of furniture within the room seemed to be fresh and in good working order, they were also finely arranged to add to the welcoming, homelike stratosphere. A handful of classy paintings were being hanged on the walls as well.

Saga looked around the surroundings. So, they really were going to have this house all to themselves for four days? It felt almost unreal.

“So...what do you think?” Tora asked.  
“I think...that’s nice,” Saga slowly replied, “Very nice.”

Now, he was more certain that they had made the right choice going here.

 

***

“What’s it, mother?”  
“I’m a bit worried about the kids,” Mrs. Amano sighed softly.

Nao couldn’t prevent an amused smile from spreading across his face as he heard his mother referring to his younger brother and cousin lovingly as ‘kids’—she did that often enough; it wasn’t the first time she used this term and Nao knew it also wouldn’t be the last. At least, she had the good sense to always make sure she did that _only_ when Tora and Saga were both absent. 

Nao’s thought drifted to his younger brother and Saga for a moment. He could see that they had grown up a bit, and they also had matured a bit in such short period. Still, it hardly changed the fact that they were still the babies in the family when Mrs. Amano was concerned.

“They will be fine,” Nao reasoned, “Tora will look after Saga, right? In fact, they’ll look after each other. _Isn’t it what marriage is for?_ ”

That brought a smile across Mrs. Amano’s face, “You’re right, my dear.”

***

For the rest of the noon, the newlyweds spent time settling themselves down to their vacation house. Windows were opened to let fresh air in; cloths were removed to reveal different pieces of furniture underneath. They had switched the light in different rooms on and then off to make sure everything was still working properly. Eventually, they moved their bags and suitcases to the bedroom on the second floor and then brought out the most necessary items to their own places as well. Supposedly, they would go outside during the early afternoon after everything was settled. 

Saga knew they were almost done. Soon enough, they would be on their way to town, having lunch and doing some sightseeing.

He felt excited; it was almost the same like when he was joining a school trip. It was always exciting to be able to get away from home for a short while; but on the other hand, this time Saga felt differently from when he went on to school trips in the past. No...this time things were different, very different.

Putting the rest of his clothes into the drawer next to the bed, Saga stood up to find his husband finished dragging his suitcase to the other side of their bed. The blond-haired teen moved to sit cross-legged at the edge of the double bed, watching Tora bend down to open his suitcase, and then fishing out a few folded shirts from it. 

Just when the raven head was about to finish, an object slipped from between the shirts and dropped to the mattress. Saga blinked when he saw the curious object rolling across the bed before it came to a stop at the center of it. It was a half-transparent light pink cylinder plastic bottle, smaller than the size of his palm, which looked curiously familiar with...... 

The brunette tensed uneasily as realisation dawned upon him. He knew what it was, although he doubted he had ever seen the item up close before.

A tube of lube.

Tora must have noticed it as well, and his eyes widened in shock. At the same time, the shirts he was holding in one hand slipped from his grip and dropped to the mattress, untimely revealing a few packages of condoms and a small card. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” Tora tried to explain with a flushed face, waving his hands wildly in a sudden outburst of embarrassment, “I didn’t bring them here!”

Without a word, Saga reached for the dropped little card and picked it up. Instantly, he saw there was a short sentence written on the surface, together with a name signed at the bottom of the card. He recognised Nao’s handwriting right away.

The card read: _Have fun! ≧▽≦_

Ooops. The card actually made everything become clear to him.

“It’s okay; I know who has done it.” Speaking as calmly as he could, Saga offered the card to his husband, without looking up at the latter. If he could look at himself now, the blonde would have known his own face was also blushing a bright shade of red as well.

Puzzled, Tora accepted the card and read it as well. It didn’t take long for him to finish, and he was not happy to know exactly who had caused this awkward episode from taking place.

“Nao,” the raven-haired teen cursed, “I Will. Kill. Him!”

to be continued.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was Tora going to support him after the baby was born?
> 
> The thought popped up in his mind so suddenly that Saga was startled by the fact he was thinking about himself and Tora as partners, both parents of the unborn infant. This thought was so _different_ from what he had in mind at the beginning of their ‘arrangement’!

** Chapter 42 **

 

It was the second day of their trip. They had spent the first day roaming the locations near their temperate residence, getting familiar with the environment; but for the second day, they would want to go further away. Thankfully, there was tourist bus service and the bus station was nearby, so they were on theirs in the morning. 

The tourist attractions in the local area were mostly made up of natural landscapes, parks, hot springs, shops of traditional business and crafts, and a few historical sites. They decided to try the natural landscapes and parks first.

Both dressed in their casual wears, they left the tourist bus when the bus arrived at the station they had in mind, and started the sightseeing.

The first location was a park at a hilltop. By the time they got to the park, there was a fair going on. It was a public holiday; the park was filled with visitors, whilst street art performers wandered amongst them, entertaining passer-by with their different tricks. 

Following the other visitors, the pair eventually found themselves in an outdoor theatre. There was a stage made of stone in front of the audience rows as well, with actors and actresses already took their positions on stage. The performance was clearly about to begin. The two of them each took a seat and waited for the play to start.

Turned out it was a comedy they were performing, a family-and-children-friendly type of playful comedy with endless supply of jokes, over-the-top performance and body movements to impress the viewers. The audience burst into laughter and applauded several times during the show, both Tora and Saga had a healthy amount of laughter before the two decided to go somewhere else.

They were walking along a lane when a traditional shrine coming into view at the side of the lane, that was when Tora stopped and made a suggestion, “Perhaps we can make a wish, for good luck.”

Saga thought for a moment and then nodded, “Sure.” 

“Let’s go,” smiling slightly, Tora took the shorter boy’s hand as they made their way towards the shrine.

Although none of them was religious, it still didn’t stop them from visiting temples or shrines out of respect for tradition. In addition, like many youngsters their age, making wishes had always been considered as something lucky and could bring in good fortune. 

Like many other shrines, the shrine they entered was surrounded by tall trees. There were many visitors in the garden outside of the shrine, walking on the lane sandwiched between two rows of stone lanterns. Many of them were on their way to the main hall, ready to pay respect to the deities or making their wishes.

Following those other visitors, the pair entered the main hall of the shrine. They stood side by side in front of the altar, and made their wishes with their eyes closed. 

“What did you wish for?” Tora asked as they left the main hall together.

The younger one shook his head, “I’m not going to tell you.” 

Tora frowned a bit, but the playful light in his eyes made it clear that he was more amused than annoyed.

“Then, what did you wish for?” Out of impulse, Saga countered the older boy’s question.

Saga was half expecting his husband to answer back with a _‘I’m not going to tell you, either!’_ ; but in the end, Tora chose to do thing differently than him.

“I wished that we can stay like this for longer a time,” Tora revealed.  
“Really?” Saga was a bit surprised, “You did wish that?”  
“Yes,” Tora stated, his voice softening as he spoke as though he was a bit afraid of uttering those words out loud, “I like being with you.”  
“What do you mean?” Saga asked, not certain whether he had heard the raven head’s words correctly.  
“Nothing, just that I’m glad we took Nao’s offer,” Tora couldn’t quite look at the shorter teen in the eyes when he replied.

Saga blinked. Was it light playing tricked to his eyes, or was Tora’s face really flushing even so slightly?

“Well...me too,” the blonde commented hesitatingly, averting his gaze to the points of his shoes as he spoke. Somehow, at the back of his mind, he felt like he had just missed something, but couldn’t tell what the deal was.

“Good,” Tora replied, and then once again he reached to grip the blonde by the hand quite naturally, “So, we should make the best out of this trip!”

Unwilling to disturb the older boy’s sudden optimism, Saga swallowed the half-formed questions in his mind, and then followed his husband to continue their sightseeing.

~*~

It was during lunch when Saga realised something. Putting his chopsticks down, the blonde turned to his husband who was sat beside him, munching on his sandwich.

“Tora, you do realise that a wish will not be granted if you tell it to someone.”  
“A wish?” The raven head paused, “Oh. Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about it.”

Holding back a chuckle, Tora wiped a tissue on his mouth, leaning his elbow on the desk as he faced the younger teen.

“For this one, I believe it’ll be granted. _I_ will make sure of it.”  
“Why are you so sure?” Smiling though amused, Saga asked in response.

The raven head’s lips curved into a smile before he replied, “I’m not going to tell you.”

The answer made Saga speechless for a moment, before an amused gasp escaped his mouth, “So you’re returning the favour to me after all.”

“Two can play this game, you know,” Tora winked, taking a sip of his lemonade.

The blonde shook his head at his husband’s antics, resuming his eating afterwards.

“Hey, Saga.”  
“Hmm?”  
“Let’s take some pictures.”  
“Oh, I did. I took some pictures earlier. The view is too beautiful not to be—”  
“Of us.”  
“Oh…” The younger teen put down his cup of cold _ocha_ once he finished his lunch, “…Here?”  
“No, not here. Let me pay for this first.”

Saga sat quietly as his older husband called the waiter and asked for the bills. The two had chosen a table on the porch of the café with a big umbrella above it, and it took a while before the waiter came back to hand them the bills, which Tora paid in cash. After that, both of them left.

“I hope you don’t mind walking a bit more,” said the raven head as he intertwined his fingers with his younger husband’s again.  
“No, I don’t. But where are we going to take… _our_ pictures, exactly?”  
“I happen to spot a small river on our way to the café earlier. I saw a few tourists there as well, so I guess it’s safe to go there.”  
“Sounds nice,” muttered the blonde, seemingly not realising that he was smiling.  
“Shall we go then?”

A nod from the younger teen was all Tora needed, before they both headed to the said river. The walk didn’t take long, but Tora had to be sure that he held Saga’s hand tightly when his fragile husband descended the stone steps very carefully.

They also spotted a few round stone benches alongside the river, which told them this cosy place was indeed not off limit to tourists or local folks. By the time they arrived there, the other tourists had already left, though. However, none of them minded. In fact, a short private moment outside sounded too precious to complain about.

“It’s a good thing I purchased a selfie stick before we watched the play,” muttered the raven head as he and Saga sat on the stone bench, the one under the tree but close enough to the river.  
“When?” Saga asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Before we watched the play,” Tora repeated his words, and then realising that the blonde wanted him to elaborate, the taller teen continued, “When we waited for the play to start, I excused myself to the restroom. Remember?”  
“…Oh,” was all the blonde said in response.

Tora then pulled out the selfie stick from his backpack (only he brought a backpack and both his and Saga’s stuff are in it because he insisted that the blonde shouldn’t bring heavy things with him). As the raven head set up the tool with his smartphone, Saga watched beside him.

“How very considerate of you…” whispered Saga, almost as if he didn’t realise he said it aloud.  
“What?” The raven head paused, turning his head to his younger husband.  
“Wh-what?” The blonde looked caught off guard, and then he straightened up and cleared his throat, “A-are you done?”  
“Yeah,” he extended the selfie stick that was now holding his smartphone, high enough to capture a picture of both of them including the river and the trees in the background.

Tora naturally put his arm around Saga’s shoulder and with that, the blonde shifted closer to him. The small action brought a smile to the younger teen’s face and it got wider when his older husband began counting along with the automatic timer from his phone camera.

“Three…two…one…say cheese~!”

After several snaps, Tora handed his smartphone to his younger partner who demanded to view the results. Saga made some comments on a few photos. Tora had to roll his eyes in an amusement when the blonde pointed out that the face the raven head made when he grinned and showed his teeth didn’t seem different at all to his childhood photo, the one where he wore a black kimono as a kid.

“Happy now?” Asked Tora, feigning offended.  
“Of course!” The blonde couldn’t help but laugh, especially when the raven head couldn’t put up with his pretence any longer.

Saga’s laugh didn’t seem to subside any time soon, and it was Tora’s mischievous idea that made him do the next action. Cupping the blonde’s face with one hand gently, the raven head leant forward and pressed their lips together. The kiss was brief, but managed to silence his younger husband, whose cheeks had reddened as soon as his brain registered what just happened.

“Gotcha,” said Tora in victory.

With a playful punch on the upper side of his older partner’s arm, weak enough and not intending to hurt, Saga muttered quietly, “You…”

Tora laughed loudly, but behind the hand that was now covering half of the blonde’s face, he knew that Saga was smiling.

***

That night after they had gone back, Saga made use of LINE to inform Nao that everything had gone well, so the rest of the family would know there was nothing to worry for the two of them. He smiled when almost immediately, the older man sent him back a reply with a carefree “Good!” together with a cartoon smiley face tagging behind.

Meanwhile, Tora was taking a shower so he was absent from the living room. The television had been switched on but Saga didn’t feel like watching it, so after he closed LINE, he opened a forum and checked out the latest topics.

It was one of the internet forums he had recently discovered. Forums that targeted at young parents and parents-to-be so they could have a platform to exchange information and share their thoughts with one another. Not saying that all the information was automatically reliable, but many were practical and informative. Moreover, most of the young parents in the forums were more than willing to share their bittersweet experience of child caring and its hardship.

Saga clicked one of the links, opening a topic, which was about parents’ time management after their babies were born. A lot of people were currently following this discussion for it seemed many young parents needed to find their ways to balance childcare, work, social activities and their relationships with their partners. After reading a handful of replies, the teen started to form some questions of his own, especially after reading the following:

> _Freedom? You want freedom when you have a baby to look after? LOL_

So said a young father in perfectly good humour, after Saga left a comment on how parents seemed to enjoy so little freedom outside of child caring and other obligations.

Perhaps this young father was right. It was childish to think child caring was anything but difficult. After all, you would have a helpless, fragile infant depending entirely on you and your partner to keep him or her safe and comfortable. How would any of these be a small task?

Putting his smartphone down for a moment, Saga was deep in thoughts. To think about it, it was almost surreal to think not only him and Tora were married, and they were now on a small vacation, that they were allowed to forget their obligation and worry for a couple of days. 

Just as Tora had commented, it actually was good for them to have this vacation, because once the baby was born, they most likely weren’t going to enjoy relaxing time like this. With the arrival of a new life, there usually came a heavy workload and a lot of obligation. Then, Saga recalled another comment he saw in the discussion:

> _Support from your partner is important!_

Said one of the commenters, and this remark was echoed by many others who agreed with what the commenter had said.

Was Tora going to support him after the baby was born?

The thought popped up in his mind so suddenly that Saga was startled by the fact he was thinking about himself and Tora as partners, both parents of the unborn infant. This thought was so _different_ from what he had in mind at the beginning of their ‘arrangement’!

Saga’s thought drifted back to the ‘arrangement’ they had between them, and then to their unborn infant. Once they welcomed the baby to this world, they would become parents. Moreover, parents were obliged to look after the baby’s welfare, together. The blonde had long made up his mind to bear his own responsibility, but what about Tora? Was he ready for such responsibility?

At the very beginning, there wasn’t an ‘us’ in his and the infant’s future. Tora was expected to be a presence, which would eventually ‘fade’ away from their lives. Because in the past, Saga was so certain that the older boy wasn’t going to linger around. The latter wouldn’t be interested in looking after the infant and taking part in the baby’s life. He actually believed Tora would be glad to see the infant not being a part of his life.

However, was this conjunction about Tora still accurate? The blonde realised he wasn’t so certain anymore. Recently, he noticed the older boy seemed to be...genuinely concerned about him and the unborn infant. Tora had shown so much care towards him after he collapsed due to pressure. 

Was Tora merely acting out of pity towards him? Would be it wishful thinking to think that the older boy might want to take responsibility up his shoulders? What did Tora really feel about himself becoming a father? Would he become fond of the baby in a long run?

He didn’t know the answers to any of the questions above. Saga was once again being made aware of the fact that they had never discussed any of these things: about responsibility, how their lives would become _after_ the baby was born, about their feelings. Nothing was clear.

In the past, Tora had hardly struck him as someone who was responsibility-bound. As the second child of the family, Tora had more or less been allowed to be carefree whilst Nao took up the role of the big brother who looked after both of Tora and Saga. However, Tora had seemingly changed recently...hadn’t him acted a lot more considerate towards him both before and after their wedding? So, could he hope for Tora to stay this way in the future?

Nevertheless, something was still bothering him, the lingering grey clouds of doubt. Hadn’t they agreed upon that their arrangement should be...temporarily? So...wasn’t it odd for Saga to think about himself and Tora being bound by some kind of long-term partnership? Especially, when he still had no idea how Tora felt about any of these things, about the baby and about what they had between them? But would Tora still be willing to stick around in a long run?

_Enough._

Saga eventually put a stop to his own thoughts. To think about it, it was somewhat stupid to bother himself with all these unanswered questions. If he really needed to know the answers, he could come up to Tora and ask him those questions, and see how the latter would reply and react. After all, the older boy was there and they were alone; no one else would disturb them if Saga really wanted to have a private talk with his husband...

He would do just that by tomorrow, Saga promised himself as he switched off his smart phone. It couldn’t be so difficult, right?

****

To be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vampirekiki said: The remark about freedom and baby-caring came from an actual conversation between me and a co-worker.
> 
> junakabisque said: Happy New Year 2015, lovely readers! Drop us a comment or two if you like this story, and please continue giving us your supports! ^_^


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you.” The three words were being whispered secretly into Saga’s ear. Tora’s voice was so soft, deep though barely audible, but it still sent a surge of massive shockwave across Saga’s being.

** Chapter 43 **

During the late afternoon of their third day, Tora and Saga found themselves having no where to go. Originally, the two of them had planned to go out until dusk, but the arrival of cloudy weather had cut their sightseeing short. They had barely made it to the front door before it started raining.

So here they were, trapped by the rain with little much to do. Therefore, Saga decided to start packing, to get himself ready for the return trip tomorrow. It was agreed upon that they would go to sleep earlier so tomorrow, they could arrive at the train station on time. Then, they would aboard a train and make their way home.

The bag he had brought along for the trip was a smallish one, due to the fact that it was supposed to be only a short trip. Only after he’d started packing, then did he notice the number of items in his belongings had grown considerably. 

Aside from clothes and personal items, now there were small gifts they would bring back to their family and close friends being added to their belongings. Amongst the newly bought items, there also were two new T-shirts.

Saga eyed the white coloured T-shirts with cute logo printed on the fronts before he put them to his bag. These were a pair of matched T-shirts from Tora and himself; they had bought them together on one of the tourist attractions.

The T-shirts brought a smile upon the blonde’s face. Matching T-shirts? Who would have guessed? In the past, he had always thought it was clichéd for couples to wear matching clothes or jewelries; but now, he could no longer say those couples were being cheesy, not anymore.

Good thing that Tora had been away for the time being, going downstairs because he claimed the Wi-fi connection was better on the ground floor. Saga knew how awkward he would have felt if Tora happened to be around in the same room when he was having cozy thoughts like these running through his head.

Closing his bag, Saga looked around the bedroom he had shared with Tora in the past two days. Once again, he was surprised by how surreal it felt to find the two of them in a situation like this.

At daytime, they visited nearby areas for sightseeing and took a lot of photos. At nights, they went back to the bedroom and then slept soundly in the same bed. Not once did either of them ever bring up a discussion for their sleeping arrangement. They just did it and it felt natural; neither of them had ever felt there was a need to discuss.

Despite Nao’s ‘thoughtful’ gifts, they did nothing more than sleeping in the same bed during those two nights. Saga didn’t know what had happened to the items in question. Perhaps Tora had gotten rid of them, or...maybe he didn’t. The blonde didn’t feel the particular need to bring the subject up.

Speaking of which, they couldn’t go outside due to the heavy rain. This was a bit disappointing, but it wasn’t like he was going to be overly upset over it. Still, wasn’t it a bit disappointing to spend the third day of their vacation staying inside the cottage?

In the past two days, they only managed to visit parks and some places in the countryside; wandering around commercial districts here and there. It actually felt a bit strange, considering both of them were young men, but already they visited places which elderly couples would choose to go, and nothing more. Moreover, weren’t young people supposed to do something more...active or adventurous when they were on vacation?

Actually, Saga was okay with it. He didn’t mind not being able to do more exciting things during their trip. But at the back of his mind, he wondered if his husband would find this journey boring.

Truth be told, shouldn’t he have something else to ask about? Something more important?

Yes, Saga had promised himself he would bring the question up. But as it turned out, it felt like there just hadn’t been a ‘right moment’ to tell Tora what was in his mind, those thoughts which had been lingering inside his head. Saga didn’t know why, but whenever he tried to bring the subject up, his tongue just seemed to be knotted tight. 

But now, it was already their last night on vacation. So, shouldn’t he brave himself and ask the question, once and for all?

Perhaps it was as good a time as any to come clear, Saga thought to himself, and slowly made his way out of the bedroom. He would go downstairs, find Tora and try his luck.

****

Saga looked around his surroundings after arriving at the bottom of the stairs. He only saw the light of the kitchen was on, so he was almost certain the black-haired teen must be inside. 

Quietly, Saga looked into the kitchen, and saw Tora was indeed there, sitting by the table. Putting on his pair of glasses, the older teenager was focusing on his phone, seemingly typing some message into it. The raven head didn’t even notice Saga’s presence. Somehow, the fact that Tora was oblivious, made the blonde become even more self-conscious. Wouldn’t it be weird for him to interrupt the older boy when he was doing something else?

The blonde was still stuck at the entrance, debating with himself about what should be done when Tora finally took notice of him and called out.

“Hey, Saga.”

His voice successfully broke off Saga’s train of thoughts, making him become aware of the present again.

“ _Nani_?”  
“Are you going to come in?”  
“Huhh...yes?” Realising how unnatural it was for him to stand at the entrance, Saga awkwardly left his spot and moved into the kitchen. Then, after a brief moment of hesitation, he took a seat next to Tora.  
“Need I get you something?” Again, Tora spoke first.  
“Huh? I guess not, but...thanks.” Saga shook his head. 

Tora frowned, looking a bit confused, “Do you want something to eat?”

Saga shook his head again, “No, I’m not hungry yet…”

The older boy shrugged, before looking at the screen of his iPhone again, “Just wondering why you would come down here if you didn’t need to get something…”

“Oh…” Saga averted his eyes, giving himself a mental kick at the butt.

How pathetic of him to come all the way down here but still couldn’t work up the courage to get to the point? So now, Tora had mistaken that he went to the kitchen in order to get something to eat, that was totally missing the point! 

Then, the blonde heard a chuckle from his husband. Looking up, Saga saw Tora, who had by this point put his iPhone away, was now instead smiling at him with amusement.

“What is so funny?” Saga asked nearly defensively. 

Tora replied with another chuckle, “You’re thinking too much again, do you?”

“How do you know that?”  
“Because I’m just that good,” Tora replied smugly.

Tora was never known to be good at reading people and their thoughts before. Was he so easy to read? 

“So tell me what’s in your mind!”  
“Nothing,” Saga burst out habitually, but he quickly recalled the fact that the two of them had promised not to hold back their worries from each other, so he added, “It’s...I’m only wondering, perhaps you may find this trip too boring...?”  
“Why would you think that?” The taller teen raised an eyebrow.  
“I mean, we didn’t get to do anything more...exciting, because of my condition—”

“That’s silly,” Tora interrupted him, “We’re here for relaxation, right? It’s not like I need to party every night or go racing or something along that line to _have fun_.”

Saga was surprised but at the same time, relieved, “So you are okay with how things have been going?”

“I’m _more_ than okay. Haven’t I already said that I’m glad to be here, with you?”  
“Yes, I remember.”  
“Then, why are you still worrying about how I feel? Haven’t I already made myself clear enough?”

Saga didn’t know how to reply so he kept quiet. When Tora asked whether he had made himself clear enough, the blonde almost wanted to answer _“No, you haven’t!”_ because there were still too many questions floating in Saga’s mind.

Last night, the blond teen promised himself he would talk to Tora, asking the latter regarding things he had been worrying about. He should have said something, but an entire day had already gone by and he still couldn’t bring himself to ask the questions. Even now, he still couldn’t bring himself to do that.

The blonde was still looking at his own laps when the light bulb above their heads went out without any warning.

“What?” Both of them gasped at the same time. Fortunately, it was still daytime despite the rainstorm. So, there was still enough daylight for them to see things, at least for the time being.

They exchanged an uneasy look before Tora slipped off his chair, moving to the entrance and tried to switch on the light again, but he got no response, the light was still off.

“Do you think...?” Tora was sounding uncertain.  
“Perhaps it’s the electricity?” Saga suggested, his gaze fell on the part of the hallway he could see from where he sat.

The light on the hallway seemed to be off, as well. With a heavy rainstorm like this, it wasn’t unthinkable for the lines to go down, “Perhaps we should go checking—”

“No, I will do that,” Tora frowned slightly as he looked back at his younger husband, “You stay put, okay?”

Saga merely nodded. Although he wasn’t used to sit around and wait for people to offer help, he still didn’t have the mind to resist on following Tora this time.

***

Turned out the electricity in the cottage had in fact gone down, and it wasn’t long for Tora to realise there wasn’t much they could do outside of waiting for the lines to be repaired. Meanwhile, they had no idea when the electricity would be back again, but they both thought it was safer to be prepared they would go for at least a few hours—if not the entire evening, without electricity.

So, the pair did what they could manage to do with the resources they had within the cottage, and made the best out of them, just so that their last night staying in the cottage wouldn’t be a miserable experience with them sitting in total darkness with nothing to do.

First, a large flashlight was brought from a drawer when there was still some daylight through the windows, candles were also collected for safety measure. Their mobile phones still had some battery left in them, but they would have to save up for the whole night and the morning to come. Packaged food was the next to be placed on the kitchen table, for they had figured out it would be safer than trying to cook when there wasn’t enough light. 

“Where are we going to sleep tonight?” Tora asked suddenly, as if it was an after thought.  
“Upstairs?” The blonde replied.

But the older teen shook his head, “If it continued to rain, it might become cold on the second floor room.”

Saga turned the thought over in his mind and found himself agreeing. Although there were thin blankets and sheets in their bedroom, they were still all designed for summer evenings, not for chilling nights during a rainstorm.

“We should move...to the living room? There’s a fireplace...perhaps we should put the fireplace into some use too…”

Upon mention, Saga recalled this fireplace too. Originally, the fireplace was mostly prepared for visitors of wintertime. Still, judging from its outlook, said fireplace had been kept in good working order.

Saga replied, “It may work out...but we need to get things ready before dark.”

“You’re right,” Tora nodded in agreement, “It’s already turning cold here, let’s get moving and get things done.  
“You prepare for our ‘sleeping quarter’ for tonight ready, and I get the firewood, how does it sound?” asked the dark-haired teen.  
“It’s alright with me.”

So, they began to work.

***

Saga was back in the kitchen again to check that they had gathered all the packaged food needed. He was now heading to the living room, where Tora was preparing the fireplace, whilst using both hands to smooth out his jacket subconsciously, realising that it indeed was cold as Tora said although he was wearing two layers of thin summer clothes already.

As night drew near, the pair started to feel the change in temperature. The downpour didn’t stop, the air around them had become colder now. Temperature must have been dropping due to the rainstorm. He stepped forward to Tora who—he noticed—had taken off his own jacket after he started preparing the fireplace. No wonder they weren’t feeling warm enough as the sky darkening outside and the temperature dropping.

“Oh you’re almost finished,” Saga said, eyeing the fireplace.  
“...Yes. I’ve thought of asking you to come back here after I was done, but then...you showed up all on your own,” answered Tora, turning on his heel to head to the rug in front of the fireplace, “It’s nice that you’re done with our sleeping quarter too.”  
“Well...thanks,” Saga murmured in response before following his husband to step around a set of sofa to get to the front of the fireplace, finding several pillows he himself had spread on the rug—the fire burning the logs, keeping the temperature in the room warm.

Tora was reorganising the pillows when Saga seated himself down carefully on the rug. It felt so soft and furry on the pregnant teen’s fingers. He adjusted two pillows behind him and leant back onto them, and that was when he caught sight of the white thick comforter resting mere inches from him. The raven head noticed that and then he pushed the comforter towards his younger husband, who accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks,” said the blonde in response, covering his lower half with the comforter in order to get even warmer.

There was silence after the older teen made himself comfortable beside Saga. Both of them stared out at the fire. They were aware of the sudden silence that fell upon them, yet none of them seemed to feel the need to do anything to break it. A bit tired from all the preparation, they found it difficult to do anything productive now that they were both comfortable with the current situation. They might as well get some rest first before dinnertime arrived later.

It felt only like a couple of minutes had passed, when Tora suddenly snorted in amusement. Saga, who had by now lying on side, stared up at his husband in wonder.

“What’s funny?”  
“Nothing, just…...what now? Doing nothing until dinner?” Tora asked.  
“Doing nothing sounds good to me now,” answered the blonde with a sigh, feeling content.  
“You may take a nap. I’ll wake you when it’s dinnertime,” the raven head said again, “I guess I’ll just continue reading this novel then.”

The light from the fireplace was bright enough for reading. Therefore, the older teen picked up his novel and adjusted his glasses as he opened the last page he had marked.

The way Tora adjusted his glasses had caught the blonde’s attention. He felt his sleepiness leave him as he gazed up at his husband’s face, scrutinizing his expression as he concentrated on reading. The raven head flipped the page and Saga turned his head away from the sight. He felt his cheeks warm up, and his heart beating faster.

_It’s just the damn glasses. You’ve seen him wearing them before, Saga._ He could hear his conscience scolding him for his foolish reaction.

The blonde ended up staring at the fire again. The blaze was reflected in his eyes, and he felt the gears in his brain started working again. Ever since this honeymoon started, there had been many, many things in his mind. It was difficult to put his thoughts together and more difficult still to mention those thoughts in front of Tora, especially when they were here, alone. He wasn't unhappy during this trip, nor did he feel uncomfortable spending almost all waking time with Tora. He was concerned about _something_ , though. He felt…somewhat bothered by the existence of lubricant in Tora’s suitcase. He should have known that sex was more or less _expected_ from them during their honeymoon, but it couldn’t wash away the fact that it was such an embarrassing thought.

He remembered his husband’s face when they found the bottle of lubricant in between Tora’s clothes. The raven head looked shocked and embarrassed at the same time. He remembered the taller teen hissed his brother’s name in a venomous tone and how his ears had changed colour to red. Nevertheless, no matter how skillfully they acted natural and carefree around each other, still something felt off. Like...there was some sort of tension in the air.

Saga shook his head, trying to shrug off the unwanted thought. Damn, he was on a trip. Within these few days, all of his real life problems couldn’t touch him here. He was supposed to be relaxing, right? Saga looked down at the back of his own hands, which were currently resting on his laps. Yes, he didn’t want to feel stressed or unhappy, at least not in these few days. He deserved to take a break, right?

However then, they both silently agreed to disregard the matter and pretend that _that thing_ wasn’t there in the first place. Until this moment came, when the situation and condition seemed to be purposely waking up the realisation that they were recently married, currently in a honeymoon, and…what else did you expect? Sex, of course. The damn sex. Great, just great.

That entire undertone of sex, he realised, was exactly what had been sucking the fun of this trip right out. It wasn’t that Saga totally despised the idea of them having sex. He realised that they had made out several times before, as if they were truly in love with each other; or maybe they were just letting lust overtake them. It was just that…he couldn’t imagine himself and Tora having sex—scratch that—making love.

 

“You’re spacing out.”

It took the blonde a moment to come back to his senses that Tora actually had rested his palm on his cheek, his novel had been put aside on the rug. Although Saga had just decided not to allow his mind to linger on any...embarrassing or...sexual thoughts, still the sensation of Tora’s fingers touching the side of his cheek, the closeness of the older boy’s body quickly sent a surge of warmth across from within himself.

He was speechless, even when Tora looked at him, waiting for his response. He forced his brain to a form a sentence, but what came out of his mouth was only, “Huh…what?”

“I asked you if you’re still cold or not,” responded Tora.  
“N-no, I’m fine. I’m…feeling warm enough,” stuttered the blonde.  
“Hnn…sure you are. I can feel it.”

That was true. The room temperature seemed to be increasing whilst they talked. The warmth radiated to him from Tora’s palm made his cheeks feel so warm as though he was running a fever, and strangely enough, Saga didn’t seem to be wanting to draw away from the touch. He had subconsciously started biting his lower lip. The light coming from the fireplace illuminated Saga’s face, making it look shining. Tora couldn’t help but feel drowned into the sight. Then, the words escaped the raven head’s mouth.

“You’re beautiful.”

It seemed as though Tora didn’t expect himself to say that. Because after that, he quickly pulled his hand back and looked away from his younger husband.

Heat rushed right up to Saga’s cheeks. Why must Tora burst out embarrassing lines such as this, calling him beautiful at random?

Almost subconsciously, the blonde straightened himself a bit, he was more than ready to exit the room—to escape from the awkward silence. His head was bent low as he tried to stand up, he whispered under his breath as he forced himself to think of some passable excuse, “Well...I guess I will—” 

Whatever Saga was going to say was cut off when all of a sudden, Tora pulled him into his arms. The taller boy could hear a gasp coming from Saga’s mouth, yet he didn’t plan to release the blonde any time soon.

“Tora...” Saga started softly.  
“Will you please just...stay here?” The tone Tora used almost sounded like a plea that Saga didn’t have the heart to turn his request down.

So he nodded, and remained still in Tora’s embrace. Both of them now leant back onto the pillows, with Saga awkwardly resting his head on Tora’s shoulder. They heard no sound except the vague sound of the rainfall from outside, and their own breathing. Tora even thought that he could hear his own heartbeat; and he wondered whether Saga could feel it against his back or not. The raven head’s hand was slightly shaking as it reached up for Saga’s, their fingers intertwining naturally.

It started with Tora rubbing his thumb on the back of Saga’s hand, sometimes drawing circles on it. Then, things escalated to further action as the older boy nuzzled his nose on the crook of the blonde’s neck. Both of his arms were now wrapped around Saga’s mid-torso, as if not wanting to let the younger boy escape from him again.

Not knowing what to expect nor how to react, Saga held his breath. If he was warm before, now with Tora pressing against him whilst encircling his arms around him tightly, the blond teen felt like his body temperature was rising out of control. Especially, after Tora started placing small kisses on his neck.

Then, Tora’s lips moved up towards his earlobe, surprising Saga as he started nibbling on it. A moan escaped the blonde’s lips; his grip on Tora’s fingers tightening. The blond boy found it difficult to breathe, yet even more difficult to form coherent thought in his mind when Tora was softly caressing the column of his nape with his lips. 

“Tora...”

His husband’s name escape from his parted lips with a sigh. Though Saga did not even know what he wanted from the older boy at that moment.

“I want you.” The three words were being whispered secretly into Saga’s ear. Tora’s voice was so soft, deep though barely audible, but it still sent a surge of massive shockwave across Saga’s being. 

 

to be continued.


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a rarely displayed determination, the blonde reacted by taking Tora’s glasses off, quickly putting said glasses on the nearby floor and started kissing the latter fully on the lips. The taller teen didn’t expect such a response from Saga, yet he immediately picked up the hint and opened his mouth a bit, sucking on his husband’s lower lip.

** Chapter 44 **

 

_“I want you.” The three words were being whispered secretly into Saga’s ear. Tora’s voice was so soft, deep though barely audible, but it still sent a surge of massive shockwave across Saga’s being._

Startled, the blond teenager turned back to face Tora, staring up at his husband with bewildered eyes. It was the first time he heard anyone saying such words to him, under such consequence. He was not innocent nor ignorant—not anymore. He knew crystal clear what those words meant, but it was up to him to respond. 

With a rarely displayed determination, the blonde reacted by taking Tora’s glasses off, quickly putting said glasses on the nearby floor and started kissing the latter fully on the lips. The taller teen didn’t expect such a response from Saga, yet he immediately picked up the hint and opened his mouth a bit, sucking on his husband’s lower lip.

Saga was still situated in between Tora’s legs, his hand was now reaching up to his dark-haired husband’s nape, caressing it gently. The soft touches only encouraged Tora more, as he placed his own hand on the blonde’s chest. His calloused fingers teasingly played with the zip of Saga’s jacket, which he soon pulled down. He had half expected Saga to back down, but the anticipated rejection never arrived, instead he was rewarded by a passionate deep kiss from the younger man.

Here they were again, alone and far away from other people’s notice, losing in a tangled web of lust, longing and desire, neither of them seemed wanting to get out.

“Are you...sure about it?” Tora asked.

A determined nod was all he got from the blonde. Tora brushed off Saga’s fringe, staring into his deep brown eyes; searching for truth, for he didn’t want the younger boy to have any regret.

“It’s okay...” The blonde blushed hotly, knowing fully well what he was agreeing to. “I...I’m okay with it.”

Tora didn’t say anything for a brief second, but then he nodded as well and stood up, “I’ll be right back.”

Saga was taken aback by the raven-haired teen’s announcement. He supposed he knew what Tora was going to do, but it didn’t stop his face from turning even redder. Absentmindedly, the younger teen began taking his clothes off. First, the jacket; followed by the hooded sweater. Until it was only the shirt left on. Even as he half-finished undressing himself, Saga still couldn’t believe that they were absolutely going to...to do something, which was in the least of his mind.

He was clutching at the front of his clad chest, when Tora returned. A glance was all it took for Saga to notice the certain tiny bottle in the raven head’s hand. Tora knelt before him, supporting his weight on his left arm, as he rested the bottle of lubricant on the rug, close to their legs. Then, he shifted his gaze back to his younger husband, looking into his eyes again.

“I—It’s gonna be alright—” Tora tried to say some soothing words to reassure the younger one, but instead what he had said sounded nervous and clumsy.  
“I know,” almost too quickly, Saga replied.

He felt strange saying that. Nevertheless, he’d proven that he had actually decided to trust Tora several times before. As if he had begun to have faith in the older boy, who was none other than the father of their unborn child.

Tora smiled at his husband’s words before he closed the short distance between their faces once more, bringing their lips back together with another hot searing kiss. A soft sigh found its way from the back of Saga’s throat, he was only faintly aware of Tora’s hands running along the front of his shirt before he started loosening the buttons one by one, before said shirt laid open for him, allowing him to expose the younger boy’s torso.

Saga gasped into the kiss as he sensed Tora’s fingers wrapping around one of his nipples. He was not used to having his sensitive part being played with like this, and how he was responding to Tora’s teasing, plus the sound he was making between their kisses, made him blush even more.

Tora smiled against his husband’s lips, loving how responsive the younger one was to his caress, one of his hands shifted to the small of Saga’s back, before he took hold of the collar of his shirt and pulled the shirt down and off from the blond’s slim shoulders. but instead of removing the shirt entirely, Tora kept it hanging crumped on his husband’s upper arms.

When it finally came to the point they had to break apart for air, Saga looked up at his husband with hazy eyes, it seemed like he could not think clearly, all he could think of was that he wanted— _needed_ Tora to do something, he needed him to continue what they had been doing until...until......

As if reading his thoughts, Tora placed a light butterfly kiss upon the blond’s forehead before moving to his earlobe, then leaving a wet trace downward as the raven head made good use of his mouth and tongue to taste his lover’s flesh. 

“You’re so beautiful...” The raven head repeated his previous praise but he did not really know what he was saying, the words seemed to just slip from his lips as he made a feast out of the exposed soft skin before him. 

With his arm wrapping around Saga’s waist, keeping him close; Tora kissed along the fine line of the younger boy’s neck and his bare shoulder, he didn’t stop until the skin turned a shade of pink with bite marks. A fierce urge to take more was burning him up from the inside, it felt like he was not getting enough from his partner, like he needed to lay his hands upon the younger one’s skin, to simply touch as much as he could. It felt like this hunger could not be satisfied before he had done tasting and feeling Saga fully for as much as the latter would allow. 

“Tora...please—”

Saga’s moan somehow manage to pierce through the great mist of lust that clouded Tora’s mind, he paused for a second to wonder what his husband’s whimper meant. What was he pleading for? For more? Or...for him to stop?

Was Saga hesitating, having second thoughts to put a halt on all these? The unpleasant thought jolted Tora out from his lust, he withdrew himself in order to study his younger partner’s face, only to find instead of resistance, there was unveiled longing and desire written across Saga’s flushing face. 

“Please what?” Even though he was confident that he knew what Saga was pleading for, still Tora could not resist the chance to tease his lovely husband a bit.

“...I don’t know,” Saga averted his gaze sheepishly, finding it embarrassing to translate his desires into words. He could not imagine how he would talk about what he wanted his lover to do to him in such a situation out loud. Especially, when he didn’t even have the slightest idea of what exactly he wanted Tora to do next.

“I just...” Shaking his head, Saga murmured against his husband’s shoulder, “Please...just...do something......”

Tora could feel his heart racing wildly upon hearing the blonde’s shy words. Not only had Saga confirmed with his own words that he liked what they were doing, wanting it badly enough that he was asking for him to do _something_ about it. More importantly, Tora was pleased by the acceptance Saga had expressed with those simple words.

“Lay back.” Tora requested softly, but he couldn’t stop a smirk from spreading across his face. 

Saga did what he was told obediently, though he still had no idea what his husband had in mind. As the blonde lowering himself down backward, supporting himself with his own elbows, Tora’s hands still remained wrapping protectively around the blonde’s waist, helping Saga to lay fully down on his back. 

Blinking slowly as Saga tried to make himself comfortable amongst the comforter and pillows on the rug, it took a few seconds for Saga’s eyes to refocus. Once he looked up and saw his husband now hovered above his sprawled body and felt how close they were; Saga felt like he was on fire when he realised with him now laying down on the carpeted floor, his trousers pooled around his ankles and his unbuttoned shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders, in a position like this he could hardly hide anything from Tora’s gaze.

Biting his lower lips out of nervousness, Saga gripped the hems of his shirt then pushed them as further down over the top of his thighs as the fabric would allow, as though it could help him to cover himself up.

If Tora noticed his uneasiness, he didn’t say anything. Instead, soon the blonde felt a pair of warm palms cupping both his knees, and then softly started to run circles across them before those hands sneaked upward to stroke his thighs, gently caressing the smooth skin as in a progress to memorise the sensation.

The sensual touch made Saga moan, the muscle of his thighs relaxing subconsciously. His legs slowly fell open, giving his husband more access. 

Soon, the blond felt the soft touch of a kiss being placed upon his inner thigh. It was soon followed by another before it became a series of butterfly kisses alongside the tender flesh. The sensation was so surprising that he almost jumped. 

But before Saga could writhe away from the touch, Tora managed to halt him by placing a soothing hand upon one of his thighs, holding him still before Saga could close his legs or flee. 

“Be still...” Tora whispered before placing yet another kiss atop his younger husband’s smooth thigh, this time dangerously close to the part which needed his attention the most... 

Next, Saga felt warm fingers wrapping themselves around his manhood, which was already half aroused by their foreplay.

“...Tora?” The sudden touch made Saga jumped again, leaving him gasping in shock, “What’re you doing!?”  
“I want to make you feel good...”

It was the reply he got before his husband bent down and took him into his mouth. Warmth enveloped him immediately and Saga drew in a sharp breath in disbelief, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the comforter beneath him tightly with both his hands, trying desperately to keep his body under control. 

Never had anyone done this with him before. Saga had only heard about couples doing _that_ together in their private moment, but he had never done it with anyone before. His mind told him what they were doing was kind of embarrassing but he didn’t have the will to call a stop, not when what Tora performed upon him was making him feel things he had never felt before. He groaned loudly as he felt a moist tongue running across the crown of his erection repeatedly. His partner working on him with the firm determination to drive him out of his mind with lust whilst Saga fought to hold onto his sanity, but failing.

Having his most vulnerable part being mercilessly simulated and played with like this took Saga breath away. Soon enough, he was panting as the older boy took his whole length deeper into the warm cave of his mouth, caressing the heated flesh with his playful tongue till the length sprong into its full hardness. 

By now, Saga was writhing on top of the comforter. His hands somehow found their ways to the back of Tora’s head and his fingers tangled into the older boy’s hair desperately as if it was the only thing he could hold onto, against the mind-blowing lust which threatened to overwhelm him. Suddenly, he felt a surge of heat rushing down to his groin. In an instant, he knew what was next.

The blonde sensed a rush of panic, “Tora...I...I’m so close—”

He meant to warn his husband that he was about to come, that the latter should withdraw; but instead of withdrawing, Tora only took him deeper, holding Saga in place as at last, the younger boy exploded into his husband’s waiting mouth. 

Saga reached his climax at the same time as white hot stars exploded behind his closed eyelids—and he didn’t even know since when he had snapped them close at the first place. In a situation like this, he couldn’t think straight. In fact, his mind seemed to have barely any control over how his own body was reacting to what he was experiencing. Saga was vaguely aware of himself groaning and crying out. He thought he had uttered some words in this moment, but the meaning of the word he had tried to form was hopelessly lost to him. 

When he finally came down from the high and became aware of his surroundings again, Saga summoned his strength and tried gathering himself up from the rug, only to find it was quite a task to just try lifting his upper body up with the help of his elbows. It felt like his mind was still not able to stay focused, and his limbs had been reduced to jelly. 

Watching the younger blonde tried to straighten himself without much success, Tora smiled and then leant forward to gather the boy up in his arms with seemingly no effort. 

Saga felt himself blushing again for being treated like a child, but he could not say he disliked what Tora had done, not when the raven head was holding him so gently like he was some fragile artifact. However, he flushed brightly when his eyes traveling downward to his barely covered body, and the thin milky white traces of his own seed cooling on his lower stomach.

For a moment, Saga’s thoughts drifted to linger on all sorts of unrelated matters, trying to escape—even only for a moment—from this surreal dreamlike reality he had found himself in. Anything else to keep his mind off the fact that he was in Tora’s arms in such an intimate way, how the closeness of Tora’s body was affecting him, anything else to keep himself from acknowledging the fact that they were going to have sex again. Furthermore, he wanted to keep away from the unspoken understanding that if they were going to have sex, for safety measure they should do it in the sitting position, because they must take care not to add pressure on Saga’s tummy.

The blonde stirred a little, murmuring something under his breath with his head still nested on his husband’s chest. Confused, Tora reached a hand under Saga’s chin and leveled the latter’s face up so they could be face to face with each other. “What’s it?” 

“Not—not fair...” Saga pouted, his cheeks flushed even more deeply and his words slipped off his lips with great reluctance as he spoke, as if he was shy to word out his own thoughts. “Why are you still having your clothes on?”

Tora chuckled at his husband’s complain. “Nasty, nasty boy. So eager to see my clothes off?”

“I didn’t say that!” The blonde tried to hide his embarrassment with a mock-punch against Tora’s chest.

Tora chuckled, but then he reached for Saga's hand and brought it up to the front of his shirt. He looked Saga deep in the eyes, whispering, “You know what to do.”

His husband’s low voice sent a shiver of excitement down Saga’s back. Then, as if being mesmerised by Tora’s gaze, for an instant his uncertainty and inexperience was forgotten. “Hai...” 

Then, he started to work on undressing his husband.

Tora’s gaze was sincere. His touch when guiding Saga taking his own white T-shirt was gentle, that the tremble Saga felt as he began undressing his husband disappeared in an instant. Tora smiled at him, and he felt confident in what he was doing.

Pulling the hem of Tora’s T-shirt upward, Saga did his best to keep his hands to work steadily and _not_ to think too much about the fact that he was undressing Tora. Thankfully, with the older boy’s help, the white T-shirt soon joined Saga’s own clothes on the nearby floor. 

But the blonde knew the difficult part had just begun. Swallowing hard, Saga lowered his hands to his husband’s waistband. Then, he opened the button at the top, but when it was time to unzip the trousers’ zip, the boy felt his breath caught in his throat, the embarrassment was overwhelming, especially after he noticed the bulge resting beneath his husband’s trousers.

And this time, Tora wasn’t helping him out. 

“Come on, you can do it~”  
“Will you just... _shut up?_ ” Saga mumbled, hardly loud enough for Tora to hear, but the raven head laughed at how red Saga’s face had become after he teased him.

Despite being so nervous, the blonde finally managed to unzip his husband’s jeans. He paused, looking up at Tora, as if asking for more guidance. The latter’s hand cupped his cheek, before it was brought down to find his. Then, Tora guided the younger’s hand to rest on his bulge, which made Saga blush even harder as he immediately felt heat radiating directly from his husband’s flesh. Saga’s heartbeats echoed loudly in his ears. Tora’s manhood felt so warm and hard in his palm, and he didn’t have the confidence to look his husband in the eyes. So with his eyes snapped tight, he freed Tora’s manhood out of his underpants. It wasn’t easy to do _that_ properly when you didn’t watch what you were doing, but after a few failed attempts, the task was accomplished. Plus, Tora didn’t complain or make any smartmouth comment on the younger boy’s clumsiness. 

Although slowly but surely, the blonde started rubbing his palm up and down the hardened shaft. A soft sigh escaped Tora’s lips, it made the blonde’s heart skip a beat. He continued stroking, gaining his confidence back within each second. Then, Tora’s hand rested on his hips again, as he called out the blonde’s name in a whisper. Meeting Tora’s eyes, Saga was greeted by the bliss glistening within those dark orbs.

“Come closer,” whispered the raven head again.

Saga complied when Tora manoeuvred him on his lap. The blonde’s hands left the warmth of the dark-haired boy’s length, and then replacing them on the older boy’s shoulders.

Tora wrapped both of his arms around Saga’s hips, looking up to meet his husband’s eyes. Their foreheads were touching, their erections grinding against each other as the older boy pressed their bodies even closer.

They captured each other’s lips again, sharing another passionate kiss. Their tongues tangled around one another, their moans swallowed by each other’s mouths. The blonde hugged his husband tighter when the latter began thrusting forward, producing some delicious friction on their lower regions.

“Mine.” Tora whimpered between kisses, possessiveness swelling as he drew the younger teen to him. Saga was his, and he would make sure thing would stay this way for a very, very long time ahead. Shou and Zero and everyone else be damned. 

Before Saga realised it, Tora’s hand had sneaked down to gently cup his bottom. He gasped in surprise—breaking the kiss in the process—when Tora playfully squeezed his butt.

He heard a chuckle coming from his husband and the only thing he did was put on an immense pout on his lips, as he mumbled, “Don’t tease me, Tora…” before he crashed their mouths together again.

After a long moment of lips smacking almost desperately against each other and tongues tangling messily in order to taste their partner’s better , they finally broke apart. 

“Liar.” Looking down at Saga’s pouting, kiss-swollen lips, Tora groaned deeply, licking a way down from the corner of Saga’s mouth toward the line of his neck. “You love what I’m doing...right?”

Saga struggled to think of something to come up in a response—for he wouldn’t have been able to live it down if he were to verbally admit he enjoyed what Tora was doing to him; but Tora caught him by surprise again when the dark-haired teen’s fingers started grazing his entrance.

The tips of the invading fingers were soaked with cool slippery lube—it surprised Saga because the blonde swore he was clueless about when Tora gripped the small bottle of lubrication whilst they were busy exploring each other’s flesh. The probing movement of the invading digits sent a wave shiver across Saga’s slim body. Despite the chilling sensation of the lube, Tora’s touch and the stretching motions he made soon send his body on fire. He moaned as the raven-haired teen thrusted his fingers a knuckle deeper into him, stroking him from the inside as the tips moving slowly, stretching him without causing actual pain. Beads of sweat slipping down along the sides of Saga’s temple as he shifted awkwardly on Tora’s laps, trying to adjust himself to the penetration—not aware of the fact that his movement was driving Tora’s fingers deeper. Without thinking, the blonde reached up to grasp his husband’s hair by fistful and drew their lips back together, in need of something to take his mind off from what Tora was doing, distract him from what they were about to do. 

Tora frowned in concentration, doing his best to move his lubed fingers along his partner’s narrow passway, he wanted to make sure Saga was ready for him, though it was no easy task to shift and angle his digits when the blond teen’s weight was pressing upon him, his heated skin was merging with his. It was also difficult to remind himself how he should be patient and not to rush things, when everything about Saga and the situation was turning him on so much.

Once again, Saga’s mind lingered upon the most random thoughts instead of acknowledging his current condition. Was it okay for him to straddle his partner’s laps like this? Would his weight be too much? But looking down at his husband...he noticed Tora didn’t seem to mind, actually the older one seemed to enjoy their...activities, so he took it as a sign that everything was on the right track. 

Tora was at the edge of self abandonment at this point. How much he longed to push the younger boy down on the floor and take him... ...Knowing that they both wanted it had made it even more difficult to hold back. It took all of his willpower to retrain himself, taking things as slowly and carefully as they could instead of rushing forward. He cared about Saga, so he could not take any chance of putting the blond in harm’s way out of carelessness.

Slowly, he guided Saga to kneel over his laps, positioning him so that their sweaty torsos were pressed tightly together and Tora could rest his head against his younger husband’s shoulder blade, giving him best access to feast on his lover’s skin, which he devoured with his eager mouth. 

So distracted by the sensation of Tora’s warm lips kissing and sucking at the flesh between his neck and collar, Saga was only faintly aware of the older one withdrawing his fingers. Instead, Tora now cupped his partner’s bottoms with his palms, and was slowly guiding Saga to lower himself onto his impatiently waiting manhood. 

The blonde blushed hotly when he felt the tip of his husband’s erection probing at him in between his butts, the sensation of being touched in such a sensitive place made the blond groan. Taking in deep breath, the younger boy did his best to relax as Tora lowered him further onto his engorged shaft. Despite his best effort, Saga still couldn’t help tensing up, feeling stretched as he slipped further down, a thick wave of heat rising across his limbs, threatening to light his body aflamed. Saga bit his lower lip, trying to remind himself it wasn’t the first time he had done something like this, he shouldn’t be so nervous about being intimate with Tora; only to remember many of the details about their first time was still largely missing in his mind, plus he still didn’t know much about what had gone through in his mind at *that* time. Now, he was fully conscious with no alcohol to cloud his sense, he was perfectly aware of what they were doing, it was different from their first coupling, and strangely enough, it made the experience even more exciting and intensive.

Both of them could not stop gasping in union when Saga finally sat fully on his lover’s laps. Saga was heaving his breath by lungful, his thin arms wrapped around his lover’s neck for support as his body trembled against Tora, trying to adjust to the sensation of being impaled, his own weight made him slip even deeper whenever he tried to shift his lower body. When he realised there wasn’t anything else to do to lessen the tension, he went still, straddling the older boy’s laps, catching his breath as best he could. 

He didn’t notice himself tightening his grasp around Tora’s neck so strongly to the point of being uncomfortable to the latter, and his nails had been digging into the flesh of his husband’s nape and upper back during the progress. But the raven head did not complain. Instead, Tora’s hands had moved from holding him in place to reach up, stroking along the length of the younger boy’s smooth, sweaty back, waiting for the boy to calm down, although his instinct was screaming for him to move, to thrust into his mate’s soft body without restrain, until his lust was satisfied. The urge was almost impossible to resist when he was buried deep in the tight heat of the younger boy’s flesh, but what little left of his better judgement had kept him from following the strong urge, for he wanted to make sure Saga was ready before they went ahead. 

“How do you feel?” Tora murmured next to the blonde’s ear, his question ended with a groan.  
“Strange...” Saga whispered. “ I feel... _full._ ”  
“It doesn’t hurt, right?” Tora asked with a frown of worry knotted between his brows.  
“No...” The blonde shook his head.  
“Good.” Tora couldn’t help chuckling a bit, before he once more placed his hands on his lover’s hips. “We have to start, Saga. I don’t think I can hold on much longer...”

Instantly, Saga knew what Tora had in mind, the mental image of what was about to take place made the blonde whimper in a mixture of desire and nervousness, but he still gave his husband a small nod before the raven head guided him to shift upward, before sitting back down experimentally onto Tora’s shaft again.

They repeated the movement until a rhythm was built, at the back of their minds they knew they should keep it slow but as passion and lust overtook them and the heat between them rose into impossible height, it became more difficult to stay calm. Before Saga noticed he had started moving over his partner’s laps on his own, his hands gripped onto the older boy’s shoulders as he slipped himself upward, and then dropped down in a series of fast motions, whilst Tora panting beneath him, moving his hips up to meet Saga every time he grounded himself down. 

The blond teen grasped loudly when his lover reached between their bodies and once again wrapped his fingers around his aroused manhood, stroking him skillfully along the hardened shaft. They moved together almost desperately trying to reach for release. Saga could feel his length quickly reaching its full hardness, the sensation of his shaft being toyed with and the tension of Tora’s manhood pulsing inside of him confirmed that they wouldn’t last much longer. 

At the back of his hay mind, the blond could hear Tora murmuring incoherent words urgently into his ears but Saga couldn’t make out what the older boy was saying between pants. But within the next second he felt it as a surge of thick liquified heat rushing up into the depth of his passway. Saga cried out as his husband gripping his hardened shaft almost harshly, stroking him and sending him off the edge almost at the same time when the raven head reached climax. Saga could feel himself exploding onto Tora’s hand, but in that instant he also experienced a strange sensation as though he was hopelessly melting around Tora, as the latter also opened himself up to merge the two of them together.

Like somehow, it had become something more than just sex. Instead ,it felt as though they had taken down the last barriers between them, so they could face each other truthfully, and be truly together now.

***

A long moment afterward, they were still tangled together, trying to catch their own breath. Eventually, Tora was the first one to move by slipping off from his younger husband’s warmth. Then, with careful motions he laid Saga back down on the comforter before joining him on the floor, his face buried in the blonde’s neck. He was still out of breath, and he noticed Saga was not much different. The younger boy laid next to him, his chest still heaving. His eyes were half closed and unfocused as though he was about to fall asleep out of tiredness.

The older boy shifted himself towards the blond teen until his forehead was touching Saga’s. Between his pants, though, the sacred three words managed to escape Tora’s mouth.

“...I love you.”

The raven head got up a bit, his left arm propping him up. He looked down at his husband’s face, searching for any sign of disapproval. Saga had his eyes widened in surprise, which discouraged Tora a little, but the dark-haired teen had decided not to back off this time. He was now certain with what he felt towards the younger boy.

“I...” Saga’s unspoken words died before they had ever been uttered as the blonde averted his glance, unable to meet Tora’s eyes..  
“I have always loved you,” added Tora, never looking away from Saga.

The younger boy looked up at his husband again, unable to think of anything to say at the moment for words had seemed to leave him. Love...? Could it be true that Tora did have feeling for him? Or was he only speaking under the influence of lust? 

The more important question for him to ask might be: did _he_ return Tora’s feeling?

Looking deeply into the other boy’s eyes, Saga saw genuineness reflecting in those eyes, also the feelings Tora had held for him, which spoke volumes more than any words could. For the first time, everything became clear to him. 

For a moment, he swore he could see all of the time between them flashing before his mind-eye within an instant. Countless of memories of them being a part of each other’s life, those memories were now playing out before him like different scenes from a movie. Those memories ran all the way back: the time they knew each other, living under the same roof, their arguments, their laughter, their tears, moments of sorrow and joy. Had those memories been piling up and changed something within him? Did his feeling towards Tora had become something more, even before he could notice the change? 

Tora confused him, made him angrier than anyone else had managed to make him. The raven head had also made him cry; but he did care about him, for more than once. He had comforted him when he needed it the most, he had shown concern, so...could this really be love? 

Saga felt heat rose up at the corners of his eyes. No one else had ever made him feel so strongly about them before.

“I think I love you too.” The blond teen whispered back.

Tora sighed in relief, a smiled played on his lips for finally, he had heard the answer he had subconsciously hoped to hear for a long time.

Saga blinked slowly, “So what did *that* make us?”

“Two idiots who couldn’t see things as they really are?”

The blond closed his eyes, now with a gentle smile danced across his lips. “I guess you’re right.” 

Tora snorted, but he pressed his forehead against Saga’s once again after that. His eyes were closed, although Saga could see a grin forming on the raven head’s lips. The blonde caressed his husband’s cheek. He had to admit that Tora’s confession made him...happy. He felt like he had finally gotten his answers, and therefore, he shouldn’t live in uncertainty anymore.

“It took us long enough, didn’t it?” Whispered Saga, his gaze averting up to the dark ceiling above.

The raven head hummed in response, but then he sat up and leant back onto the stack of pillows again, pulling Saga closer to him. Saga rested his head back on Tora’s chest, as his husband encircled his arms around him securely.

“But I’ve actually realised about it all this time. I just...” Tora trailed off.  
“Uhn...?”  
“I...needed time to overcome my ego. To stop denying what I feel. I guess I—”  
“Tora...” The blonde interjected, “We’re just still...too young.”

Despite himself, Tora smiled hearing Saga’s words.

“Yeah,” he continued, “Saga...”  
“Yes?”

Tora placed his palm on top of Saga’s tummy, caressing it gently.

“I will take care of you...both of you.”

Saga was silent at first. He wanted to say something in response to Tora's vow, yet all he did was remain silent. However then, he felt warm liquid running down his cheek. He touched his face and traced the wetness with his fingertips.

Meanwhile Tora, becoming aware of Saga's sudden silence, looked down at his husband who had lowered his head. Worried, he asked, "What's wrong?"

“Nothing. I’m just......I’m alright. I guess...”

Finding it strange for his husband to be tearful whilst he insisted that he was alright, Tora frowned, thinking that Saga’s words didn’t make much sense, but he didn’t quite know how to voice out his thought.

Now facing his dear husband, although not looking at the boy’s in the eyes, Saga encircled his arms around Tora’s neck and whispered, “Just.....don’t let us part again. I...we need you, Tora.”

 

To be continued.


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I...have something more to say to you." Tora spoke up again, hesitatingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note I: John Legend's Get Lifted is the music I had in my mind when I wrote this scene.  
> Note II: this chapter is un-beta-ed.

** Chapter 45 -final-**

The sun had already rose, warm rays of light bathing the train platforms and the people who stood there, waiting for their trains to arrive.

Two figures, a pair of teenage boys, moved down the stairs quickly, before they finally stopped at one of the platforms, they were both slightly out of breath as they stopped. Both of them let out a sigh of relief when they looked up at the digital signboard above head and saw there were still ten minutes left before their train would arrive to the station.

They had made it, barely on time.

They shouldn't have been in so much hurry, they should have arrived to the train station earlier, but as cliche as it sounded, things just didn't go according to plan; consequences and their eventful time from last night had left them overslept and late. 

As cliche as it could get, they actually overslept in the morning they were supposed to catch their train.

Long after the alarm bells on both their smartphones rang off, Saga finally became wakeful enough to recall they were supposed to catch a train this morning; and it took a while for him to shake his husband awake. The two of them had to untangled themselves, put some clothes back on, freshened up, locking every window and doors before getting out of the cottage, hurried to the bus-stop, for the whole while they still need to drag their bags along with them.

Thankfully the bus which could take them to the train station arrived shortly afterward, resulting in them arriving to the station barely on time. It was lucky that both of them at least had the sense to pick most of their belongings and tucked them to their bags before the electricity broke down last night. If they hadn't done this, they would definitely miss their train.

Tora, the older one of the pair, took his younger husband’s hand and led him to settle down on a bench by the end of the platform, slipping the backpacks down their shoulders as they went.

Once he was sure the blond was comfortable, Tora fished out his iPhone and began to surf online, out of habit, doing a quick check on the activities of his friends, whilst his younger husband placed his head on his shoulder, his eyes closed for the time being. The younger teen wasn’t really so tired, but it still felt nice to rest against his husband like this, to share this closeness with him. To his delight, the raven head also adjusted his position a little so the blond could get more comfortable, without even having to be asked.

"Oh, just look at _that_!" 

In a situation like this, hearing his husband exclaimed out of the blue was probably the last thing Saga would have expected, but it was exactly what just had happened.

"What's it?" Saga rose and asked out of curiosity. Neither of them had said much after getting on-board to the bus, nor during the ride to the train station, but now Tora seemed to have something to say. 

"You won't believe that." Tora handed his younger husband his iPhone.

Saga peered at what the iPhone was showing. On the screen, it showed a Facebook status with a photo and there were two people within the photo.These two people were no strangers to neither of Saga nor his older husband. These were Shou and Hiroto in the photo he was looking at. 

"They'd became Facebook friends today." Tora explained. 

"They did?" Saga was really surprised, he wasn't aware of Shou's new found friendship with his husband's best friend. "It's quite...unexpected."

"Yes." Tora didn't know much about what was going on with those two neither, he still recalled how pissed Hiroto had been after he saw Shou punching him in the canteen. Now it felt like as if this incident had taken place so very long ago.

They were still looking at the photo on the screen when Tora asked out of the blue. "Would you choose him?"

"Oh, Tora." This time Saga was more amused than upset by his husband's question, and much to Tora's annoyance, the younger one actually rolled his eyes at this question.

"You know, Shou does care for you, a lot." The older boy reasoned as he put his iPhone back to his pocket. For his defense, Tora did try to make his comment sound casual but his voice had come out flat.

This time Saga looked down at his laps, murmuring. "I know."

He could have said more on this matter but the blond head had decided against it, for It was still pretty awkward to mention Shou with Tora. 

For a moment the raven haired teen said nothing, only placing his own hand on to top of his husband's. 

"So may I ask...the answer is...?"

"You really have to ask?" Saga rolled his eyes again. " I won't be here if I had second thought!"

As soon as he finished saying this Saga quickly looked away, but this time Tora didn't miss the meaning of his words, nor did he overlook the flush that spread from the younger teen's ears right down to his neck. Tora realized that in his own way, this was as close as a confession he could get from a stubborn and embarrassed Saga.

At this moment, it was enough for Tora.

He chuckled, covering Saga's hand with his own. "When I think about it, I realize how lucky I am to have you by my side."

Saga didn't say anything at first, till he finally murmured with his eyes still downcast. "I feel the same."

"And I do hope he...you know, I do wish you and Shou can be friends again." The raven haired teen stated. 

In the past, Saga wouldn't have expected Tora to say such thing. The old Tora he knew would have sat back and enjoyed seeing him and Shou breaking ties with each other, just because he disliked Shou. But Saga was still thankful for Tora's changed attitude, he was thankful that Tora came to be supportive toward his friendship with Shou, not acting out of jealousy and rivalry like he once so used to. 

"I think we will be okay and learn to be friends again." The blond teen replied, although he knew there was still a lot of work to be done for them to narrow the newly opened gap between them.

He still couldn't mention anything about Shou proposing to him. Perhaps he would mention it to Tora one day, but it would be much, much later.

"It's not just Shou, when i saw _him_ chatting with you--"

"Who?" Saga frowned in puzzlement.

"That guy who came to our wedding. The one who had used to date you."

"Are you talking about Zero?" Saga's eyes rounded with surprise. Why would Tora bring Zero up all of a sudden?

Tora gave a small nod, then quickly picking up his speech. "I admit when I saw you and him chatting away, being so at ease with each other. I felt...threatened."

"But Zero is only a friend to me now."

"You think I can't see it? But the more I saw you interacting with him, I can't help remembering...you two had a past."

"Tora, you.." The younger boy didn't even know what to say at this point.

"Don't laugh!" The older boy burst out in embarrassment as his face flushed.

"I'm not going to." Saga replied reassuringly. "I guess it is just the same like when I saw you with Keiko..."

For a second the raven haired teen seemed to be confused by the mention of his ex-girlfriend, then realization dawned on him. "You got upset when she texted me." 

"I did." Saga admitted after a pause. "But now I know I shouldn't be upset by it. She is your friend." 

"Just like Zero is your friend."

"Yes, he is." Saga nodded, then a smile graced his flushed cheeks. "Can we agree we were being foolish back then, getting upset over such things?"

"We had been foolish indeed." Tora couldn't help returning his younger husband's smile. "Let's hope we can be wiser from now on."

That brought a smile to Saga's face.

"And I...have something more to say to you." Tora spoke up again, hesitatingly.

"Yes?" Saga replied.

"Last night, we'd said we love each other."

".......we did." Thinking about what had taken place last night still made Saga feel all cozy and awkward and heated up from the inside.

"So it seems to me...it's only proper for me to ask you _this_." Tora continued, this time it was his turn to have his face reddening. 

“...ask me what?” Saga asked, and even though he had been sitting for a while now, at this moment his voice changed, now it sounded breathy, as if he was slightly out of breath; the suspense was making him respond strangely.

"I want to ask you to…stay with me." Tora began. "After all the nasty things I'd said to you...what I'd done in the past, I still hope we can have a... _new start._ After the whole arrangement thing, after everything taken place between us---both good and bad; I still had never really asked you, _to stay with me._ "

"I will."

Saga replied instantly, he replied with not a sliver of doubt, and it surprised him even so slightly. It was so different from the past, when everything said between him and Tora seemed to be weighed down by uncertainty, hesitation and hidden messages he could not hope to decode. 

He recalled their arrangement of false marriage was _his_ idea at the very first place, a stupid idea born out of desperation and anger, but now he couldn't even recall when did the arrangement stopped being matter and exactly when did their marriage become something more.... _real._

They had come a long way. Now Saga was sure without a sliver of doubt what they had between them, it was real. Partners, spouses, husbands, they were all of the above to each other, just like they were supposed to be. Soon they would also become _parents_ in the near future, soon enough.

It would be lying if Saga said all these new roles didn't scare him, he had enough understanding of the responsibility it entailed. It would be arrogant and foolish to think he was fit enough for those roles. 

Still, whatever it took, he was going to make himself ready.

From a distance, they heard the announcement to indicate the train would arrive soon. Along the platform, other passengers were getting up from their seats, getting in lines to wait for the train.

“Let’s go.” Tora was the first one to stand up, then he turned back to offered his hand to his younger and pregnant husband, and Saga accepted it and put himself up right before they walked toward the edge of the platform with their arms linked, getting ready to get aboard. 

Soon, they were going home.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After Note I: I know, I know, some of you readers might still want to read about their baby being born, but I don't think we are going to include this part into the story of Cross Game because neither Jun nor I are huge fans of childbearing and babysitting and what not. Plus both Jun and I feel this story is already long enough and people might lose interested with it if we kept dragging things on.
> 
> Also, it's highly likely that there will be an epilogue falling chapter 45, if it's possible maybe we can develop a sequel after that, who know?
> 
> ~Mizuki
> 
> After Note II: I just want to say I'm really sorry for not being active anymore


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